Blacktail Deer Plateau 'cause I've got memories and travel like gypsies in the night

She heard her mate's coming when he was still a distance away, slowing. She knew his footfalls now, their sound and their weight, the familiar flash of sun-kissed brown. But it was not the glimmer of joy that came, the sort that usually flickered in her chest at his coming, but akin to dread. 

Engel was gone, now, she'd heard the details, her father's banishment of the man. There was some part of her that felt sorry; she'd liked Engel, thought him better than his perverse comment at the meeting that just crossed the line. To think that Engel had even hinted at such a thing had disgusted her, but it was not thoughts of Engel that disturbed her when Aditya drew her into his embrace. 

 "no,"  She began, but did not press into him as was habit, pausing in her tracks and blinking at the snow-dusted earth.  "i'm sorry," She began, words low, breaking open the twisted mass of emotion and thought that weighed heavily on her. "I know we never talked about it, not really, but I'm letting you down, aren't I?"  Oh, but she was being far too vague, her words faltering and not expressing truly what she sought to apologize for. "I knew I wouldn't be ready, didn't think I wanted it, but now - but you, I'm holding you back." Out and in the open, the weight diminished already, though her ears flicked back in something like shame.