Bearclaw Valley it was all right with me

@Sif

the last week had been arguably the most harrowing of indra's life -- and while she was not out of the woods yet, she felt sufficiently less ill. she felt enough energy to return to her that she hobbled stiffly out of the den and peered at the open world.

what indra once might have regarded as a beautiful, temperate winter afternoon was met with a filmy, dull gaze. for all the sunlight that poured into the valley, none reflected in her eyes. without a sound she limped from the den and towards the stream she had last seen blondine appear.

Sif was gallivanting along the creekside, tongue lolling goofily out of her face. The valley hadn't impressed her too much when she'd first arrived, but it had started to feel like home since she'd turned her back on her family by the sea. Wardruna and Poet were her family, now, and perhaps Isengrim would be, too.

For now, though, she still oftentimes took comfort in playing by herself. Bounding through the snow and kicking it in every direction was always good fun, even if it did leave her tired and sore at the end of the day.

She came to a stuttering halt when she was confronted by a ruddy stranger, eyes widening comically at having been caught in such a silly act. Fen had not been tolerant of her silliness by any measure of the word, and she was not sure if that was something that had been specific to him, or a prejudice that all wolves shared.

indra paused as the clutter of jostled snow reached her ears. carefully she raised her muzzle, casting her amber eyes towards the sorrel wolf that barrelled through the snow as if unaware of any save for the skidding snow in front of her. past indra would have been very amused by such a game and weeks before would have seen the joy in it. today indra simply watched with a beleaguered stare.

sif came to a halt, surprised to find indra was there. had indra a tail she would have maybe waved it carefully -- no tail existed, and indra just stood there mutely considering her options. she was incredibly vulnerable if this wolf was an aggressor, and she was vulnerable nonetheless even if sif wasn't. she hoped the female resided in the valley, for she had neither the energy or the soundness to chase her off.

"are you xan's friend?" she asked warily, tilting her head to the side to study the ruddy-coated female.

Sif's jaw almost dropped at the stranger's question. Xan had told her they were friends! She nearly tripped over herself trying to confirm this, tail wagging double-time as if to make up for the other's lack of enthusiasm. "Friends! Ja," she agreed with a bob of her head and a little bow of excitement. "I'm Sif," she added, in case Xan had not shared that, and also because it usually prompted others to share names as well.

"Are you kona?" she asked curiously. "Um - Xan kona?" She'd forgotten the word for wife again. Speaking almost exclusively with Wardruna and Poet was becoming something of a problem, in that regard. She would have to practice extra hard to learn the language of this pack.

indra's recalcitrant disposition somewhat resolved as sif's outward demeanor became gregarious. in truth it was not in indra's nature to be so cold -- but happenstance had stolen the joy out from the red girl and replaced with a sorry, cynical outlook.

it was not sif's fault her tail was gone, indra reminded herself - she cracked a weak smile at sif's excitement. it was all the expression the solemn girl could muster before her eyes flickered to sif in confusion. kona meant nothing to her - was it a name? a title? she gingerly inched closer to the stream as she tried to suss the meaning of the word. "kona?" she repeated, as if thinking it was a name: "no, i'm indra." perhaps she had answered sif's query indirectly. "i'm here with laurel."

Sif floundered briefly - she didn't know that word, after all. But a moment later, good sense took hold, and she realized Indra must be a name. Laurel, too. Automatically, the dark girl matched up the extra name with the scent of another shewolf that featured heavily on Indra's pelt.

"It is a pleasure to meet you," said Sif carefully, picking out a phrase that Poet had taught her to say with the utmost care. After that, she was at a loss for how to procede. She knew a few other conversational phrases, but none of them seemed to fit the mood between the two of them. She was half-tempted to move along, but the delicate state of the other kept her hovering nearby. "Hurt," she said after a moment, not quite sure what she meant by that. You are hurt, obviously. But perhaps who or why as well.

like sif, indra was not sure how to proceed. she kept trying to remind herself it was not sif's fault, that she should not let her own bad day affect how she treated people -- especially not when they seemed as amicable as this she-wolf did. all the same it took a great amount of effort for indra to put forth a good face; cheer had left her being entirely, and she found faking it almost more exhausting than limping through the snow.

sif said in perfect english it was a pleasure to meet her - indra's thin smile briefly resurfaced. "you too." she rejoined, appreciating the practiced cadence that sif recited the words. indra surmised someone had taken great care to teach her that.

her troubled expression returned at the mention of being hurt, and she nodded once grimly. "i am." she was loathe to show and tell, but as she bent down to the river to drink, perhaps sif would have seen the injury of her own accord anyway. where indra's hind end should have seamlessly formed into a tail, nothing but a bloodied stump remained. her limbs were swollen from the infection above, and she moved with a gingerness that suggested the wound was far from resolved.

The conversation tapered off. Sif didn't know how to revive it, and instead, simply allowed it to die. She could not, however, bring herself to leave the injured woman's presence. She needed to be protected and looked after, even if Sif was a year or more her junior. So that she would not seem to loom, the dark girl lowered herself to her belly in the snow and watched Indra drink, a forlorn expression finding its way onto her face.

Who had hurt her? Sif did not like the idea of mean people out there in the wilderness, hurting the family that Wardruna and Xan seemed to be cobbling together. What if it was Poet next time?

"I will protect you," she offered in a small voice, not sure whether or not this would be welcome. Indra seemed nice enough, but hadn't seemed to desire her company, either.

heartmelt.gif

indra drank from the cold fount slowly. it was all she could stomach these days, and she found herself revisiting the stream often. as she lifted herself up from the ground she saw sif had adopted a supine pose behind her. sif's expression looked distinctly bothered -- troubled even -- indra's heartbeat hammered for a moment as she mistook the concern for concern of a possible threat. then she realized that look was for her, and her shoulders fell in defeat.

sif's words were heartwarming; even indra in her affected state could not deny the chestnut female her kindness. she was starting to be less wary around sif, and perhaps that statement was the clincher that forced her to drop her guard entirely and issue a small, choked sob.

she hated how pathetic she looked; how defenseless she might have appeared to a stranger like sif. suddenly, a bit of laurel came out in her and she struggled to fight back the bile that rose in her throat, that urged her to say i don't need protection! i'm not a little girl!

but she was a little girl. a little, helpless, assailable little girl. she felt burning in her throat and she swallowed, dearly wishing she could go back to the stream and sup her fill and hide the tears that welled in her eyes from sif. "thanks.." was all she could muster - she thought if she said anything more, her composure would shatter -- and once she started, she knew she would not stop.

Sif's expression fell further still as her words seemed to have opposite of the intended affect. Indra was crying! What had Sif done? Xan would be mad at her for making his friend/wife/Indra cry.

"Sorry," she pleaded to the other girl, "don't sad!" She wiggled a bit closer, tail whipping erratically. This was terrible! She was terrible. This whole situation was rotten. In her discomfort, the dark girl rolled onto her back, flashing a pale belly at the older girl. She gave a few more entreating wiggles, but Indra had turned her head to the side. Panic welled up in her chest, but she squashed it down and rolled back to her belly, trying to lick at Indra's chin from her lowered position.

indra pulled her head from the snow as she heard sif move; before she was sitting a respectable distanct away, and now she was upended, sprawled across her back in a comedic position. indra sniffled, still hesitant to meet sif's gaze. she felt so stupid. so helpless and dumb and just a fat sopping mess of uselessness. and now she had made this perfectly nice stranger upset too.

what was wrong with her? indra bit her lip and stared at the ground, her gaze somewhat hardening for a moment before it went blank again. she took the deepest breath she could muster and looked up. "i'm the one that should be sorry." she said adamantly, finding shame in her position and the way she had acted. "i'm... i'm sorry.. i just.. it's not fair," of course, she meant it wasn't fair she was sick, that she had lost her tail, that she was forcing her miserableness on a perfectly kindhearted stranger like sif.

Sif had almost no notion of the source of Indra's sorrows. She was injured, and that sucked. Sif knew that well enough. But she felt as though she was doing something wrong, upsetting her while she was already in a bad way. She was crying. She hadn't been doing that when Sif showed up.

Sif scuttled closer, wanting to offer more comfort but not sure it would help, or be desired at all. This whole encounter had left her feeling distinctly wrong-footed, but what else could she do? "Hurt," Sif repeated uncertainly. Is that why you are sad? Please don't let it be me. 

"Can help? How? Hungry?" she begged, tail wagging slowly. I am at your service! she wanted to say, but that was a bit beyond her on a normal day, nevermind when she was frantic to please.

indra's inner dialogue was tumultuous -- she felt responsible for sif's distress, unaware that sif felt the same way for her's. if only they could read minds -- perhaps the girls would have shared a friendly laugh.

instead they were left to their own isolating devices, and indra looked to the ground again in guilt. sif was too kind, too generous, for indra to deserve her services. "sorry.." she muttered again, this time feeling quite feeble for her previous actions.

"i.. i could eat." she looked up at sif hopefully, a glimmer of something akin to warmth returning to her gaze. indra had not eaten since her accident. she tried to get up and hobbled carefully towards sif. "are you hungry?" indra asked -- not that given her present state, she could do anything about it.

Sif's entire body seemed to shift back toward her usual perk when Indra agreed to eat. She felt once more as though she could be some use to this girl, and that made all the difference in her day. She leapt from her prone position to her tippy-toes and turned a quick, happy circle. "Hungry!" she agreed with a bob of her head, giving a little shimmy of her tail before turning and darting away.

It would be almost an hour before she tracked Indra down once more with a measley rabbit in offering.

aw <3

indra watched sif as she rose abruptly, performing a neat pirouette in the spot to express her excitement. had indra not been in so much anguish she might have spared a smile; while her lips did not move, her eyes appeared to soften and she watched solemnly as the chestnut form of the wolf bobbled out of view.

she was left with her own thoughts for a while - indra had come to fear isolation, and she struggled as she recalled to mind all the things she had done to lead up to this point. she was in a morose mood when sif returned, but she quickly did her best to hide it. the rabbit sif brought was more of a meal than indra had eaten in mouths, and her mouth watered at the sight of it. a flush of gratitude overcame her - she did not deserve such kindness from sif and it overwhelmed her.

It was exciting to be able to present Indra with her gift! Wow! Sif wiggled with pleasure as she laid the kill at Indra's paws, unable to sit completely still despite knowing that rapid motion tended to make strangers uncomfortable. Instead, the dark girl retreated a few paces away to dance away her happiness at being able to provide for her sick and hurt new friend.

indra was still overcome by gratitude, and as she gingerly picked at the rabbit she became aware it would be rude to eat without offering some to sif first. surely the girl was hungry -- with a paw placed upon the rabbit's thin shoulders she lifted her lips and pinched along the rabbit's spine with teeth until the corpse was reamed clean in half.

she looked to sif and nosed the portion towards her, settling a paw on the remaining half. "thank you." she uttered, before falling upon the meal like a child that had witnessed great famine.

Sif did not quite have the nose for sickness or malnourishment just yet. She understood instictively that a hurt wolf would probably be a hungry one, and something in Indra's eyes had certainly spoken to her - but she could not tell how desperately the older girl needed the meal. Thus, the portion of rabbit was accepted with happy pounce and a wag of her tail. She was not hungry, but she'd never not eat when the option was presented to her.

When she was done, she offered a shy inquiry. "Aanything? Can do?" Maybe one day, she'd grow out of this helping people thing. For now, being liked by and useful to others was something of a novelty.

the butchered half of rabbit saw a short span of existence before it was crunched by indra's cleaving jaws. with her gullet freshly filled she looked upon sif with immense thankfullness, appreciative of the sudden content in her belly. indra thought she was so kind and good-hearted to provide to her when she was just a stranger. guiltily, she wondered if she would do the same.

"no. thank you." she shook her head gently, carefully stretching in a manner that would not upset her injured back. "thank you sif." she repeated again, groaning as she settled into the snow with a soft heave. her meal had made her sleepy, and with her injury she was too feeble to fight back the onslaught of exhaustion as it creeped like tendrils of vines around her.

Sif uttered something like you're welcome, but wasn't sure she'd spoken the common tongue or something else. There was a chance she'd just made a random sound, so great was her enthusiasm. These wolves were very different from being with Fen, who had seemed to do little more than tolerate her on most days, and not even that on some.

There had been times, of course, when Fen would begin to talk about the past or traditions or battle, and Sif would sit very still and quiet and it would be good. But those had been few and far between, and though she choose to remember him by those times rather than the rest, it was still a very different experience than the one she was having with Indra.

This was, in part, because she felt a bit like she was taking care of Indra when she had always been taken care of and ruled over by Fen. She'd been protective of him, of course, but it was nothing like the solemn duty she felt toward the injured woman that laid nearby. She was small, and Fen had been anything but.

Sif laid down within sight of the red girl and kept watch.

thanks for the thread! it was fun! i'll fade indra, so feel free to just archive, or conclude if you want another post in.

indra sleepily combated the tiredness that threatened to overtake her, her eyelids fluttering as she watched sif stalk off. she set down in the snow, not too far from indra -- but already the cairn girl had blurred from indra's vision.

she yawned, the last thing she remembered doing before she fell into a exhausted but content sleep. with food in her belly and a sense of companionship in the chestnut hued girl, indra was put at ease for the first time in a while and drifted into an uninterrupted, dreamless sleep.