Sunset Valley and leave you like they left me here

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding at the male's words. It was suddenly easier to calm himself, to stem the tears that had come so quickly. Truth be told, Aditya was doing everything right— at least, as far as Alarian was concerned. He almost hated it. Almost.
A larger part of him was beginning to settle. The hurt was soothed; not healed, but smoothed for the moment, and perhaps already on its way. When he found enough composure to speak, he glanced up first. Briefly again, but it was almost a check-in of sorts. 'Look, I'm calming down! Kind of!'
Thank you, Alarian started quietly when his gaze was firmly on the ground again. For apologizing— for staying. I don't... I don't know what to say, but I don't hate you. He let that hang for a moment, trying to figure out what he would say next. I don't know if I forgive you— I don't know if there's anything to forgive you for. It's not like— A short, bitter laugh interrupted his words. It's not like I was perfectly well-adjusted before you came along, Aditya.
I could have said no; I should have, I should have known it'd be a mistake— The tears were starting back. He swallowed hard. At least, for you. And I— I just— I wasn't looking to be anyone else's mistake. All I was trying to do was comfort you— not that I wouldn't want to— but you have a mate— and I didn't think... I didn't think you'd ever look twice at me, even just for that.

But that was crossing the line, he knew. It was crossing the line even further than Aditya fucking him had— because that was physical, it was nothing. This— this was deeper only by fractions, and somehow worse by miles. He swallowed again, glancing to Aditya; he didn't really expect anything from his response, didn't know if he even wanted one. But he had to see his reaction. He had to know that, at least.