Broken Boulder you only hold me up like this 'cause you don't know who i really am
1,293 Posts
Ooc —
Offline
#9
He winces a little at Delight's grimace, preparing for the worst as his partner pulls away from him. What he actually receives... isn't the worst, he thinks, but his anxiety spikes nonetheless. Maybe he's not ready for this; maybe he can't handle opening up like he'd thought he could. He cares about Delight, but in that moment he can't imagine letting him in the way he's let Zamael in.
But that moment passes as he listens, swallowing hard and shifting a little on his paws. This is what he'd signed up for, right? And — I haven't been— He cuts himself off, realizing all at once that yes, he sort of has been avoiding Delight. He sighs softly. I'm sorry. I'm not avoiding you on purpose. I don't — He swallows hard again, searching for the words to express what he wants to.
I want you to be that to me, He admits after a few beats. And I want to understand you that way, too. I've just been really... tired, lately. Fogged, I guess. I'm sorry. I know it's a — a shitty start to a relationship. Suddenly he feels fragile, like thin glass ready to shatter any moment; he can't seem to stop finding ways to fuck this up, can he? And now he knows he can't look for Zamael — he can't leave this. If Zamael has abandoned him again, maybe that's the way it's meant to be.
Delight is here, still, somehow. That has to mean something, and he has to stop ignoring it. He shifts again, glancing down to the ground. I won't leave, He says after another brief pause, and takes a breath. He can fix avoiding Delight easily enough, he thinks — maybe. But opening up? Where the hell does he start with that? Now? No, not now. Hopefully.
Messages In This Thread
RE: you only hold me up like this 'cause you don't know who i really am - by Alarian - August 29, 2018, 09:04 PM