Blacktail Deer Plateau we are in a state of flux

there's a lot of ways furi could react but anger is not one she expects -- or maybe she did expect it and just didn't want to admit it to herself. she hurt furi. she knows this, knew this, so why did she think it'd be so easy to make things up? it hasn't been easy between them for a while. the admission that she didn't want to leave cracks her heart, only for it to shatter completely by the time furi gets to

you don't love me.

the shilkru opens her mouth and closes it several times, the full impact of those quiet words working their way through her too-hot blood. belatedly she recognizes that she's burned too hotly and scorched the earth between her and her friend. the fight goes out of her body: she slumps, unable to bring herself to look at furi. 

"...i'm sorry," she says softly, and her legs tremble. "i'm sorry for my mom and -- and for me, too. i guess i fucked things up pretty permanently, huh?" a self-deprecating laugh escapes her, leaving her winded for a moment. when she speaks again it is only to say, "maybe you're right that i don't -- know you, the way i should. but i -- i wanted to. i still want to." blixen finally steals a glance, if you'd let me hanging unsaid between them, if it's not too late for me.