The Heartwood But Get Caught in the Middle

Etienne traveled from the Hollow. He would return quickly. He was just on the look out for any early herb growth to add to his stores. He wouldn't pick it yet. Just mark it to memory.

He came across a land that was dark and light. Flame and meadow. The tufts of ash that rise with each pawstep. It was both gritty and soft. Smelled good but also bad. Very to halves to a whole. It made his heart feel a little wretched. For he was seaborn and liced away from the sea. It was hard to have dual hearts.

@Kukutux

weddings.

the commitment of children to spirits.

the spring to come.

the absence of her season.

the land here had been scarred. so intent was kukutux in her observation that she did not immediately see the young hunter nearby.

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A small waif of a wolf was in front of him. Clouds of gossamer and lace. Dainty and yet hearty.

He didn't want to startle her as she was lost in her own thoughts he could tell.

He chuffed gently and stood still. Gilden gaze warm towards her. She had mother energy.

and to her eyes, he was the age of a son.

her smile greeted him as such. "have you come to listen to the wind, young hunter?" moonmother asked, pointing with her chin toward the horizon. "it speaks."

Etienne realized yet again. How much he missed his mother and hos sister and his auntie. He didn't want to teturn home, but he wanted to see them again.

A small smile. I not be muc' of a 'unter. I prefer to 'eal.

He cocked an ear and listened. Many tings speak if you listen carefully. I be from de ocean 'er always sings and screams.

"i know the sea, the mountain, the forest. but this long salt is warm to me. it has little ice."

yet this was not a bad thing; her eyes were soft upon him. "i am kukutux, moonmother of village moonglow. and i am healer also."

Etienne nodded hia head. If you weren't used to the coast. The balmy air could sometimes take you by surprise. But when the wind came off the sea it was beautiful.

Nice to meet you. I be Etienne formerly of Sap'ique. Now I live in sleepy fox 'ollow.

He look3d around and studied her. Do you need 'elp wit' anyting moonwoman? You be alone out 'ere today?

etienne, once of sapphique. "i hunted with your people. my village and me, on the bison plains. i met a woman who had the name of mireille and a girl who had the name of sobeille," kukutux said softly, wondering deep within herself why he was not with them.

a shake of her head. "i do not need anything," she smiled. "i am only listening today."

Etienne tilted an ear forward. Aa one of our former in'abi'ants went for dat I believe. Mireille be my auntie, be my mudder's sister. And Sobeille 'er dotter. I miss dem. I bet dey did well. Auntie always been wild 'untress. I left dem when Sobeille was very little. We 'ad many losses. I needed to find myself.

Usually the question was always why did you leave? Why aren;t you home. It was easier to speak it immediately.

W'at you be lilstenin' for? Can I 'elp?

to find himself. was he too a boy upon a journey of spirits? and was his spirits like the ones of her people? "i was pleased to see them hunting. i would like to know more of them." but perhaps, not now.

kukutux found she had more questions. she turned into the wind. "i am listening for guidance."

Etienne could not remember lesrning of gods. Other than something of the sea. But he had been quite young when he left home. And his esrly months had seemed so full of grief. That it was hard to place kernels of goodness in there.

Dey live as queens. Dere be a place for men and a place for women. But it be women dat 'old de 'iest ranks.

Guaidance? For w'at? Unless you would not want to say? Dat is okay.

a place of women. she imagined it; grandmothers, mothers, daughters, sisters, granddaughters. their children.

it was a soft thought, filled with its own power.

but long had she loved aiolos.

"a trade?" her eyes were bright. "i will tell you why i have come. you will tell me what your own heart says to you."

Sapphique was full if feminine wnergy. To etienne there was no greater power than a woman. And he often felt insignificant next to it. Yet he was also much more in touch with such sides of his own.

And he too had given it up in a sense for love. First it had been love of his granmes who without he felt bereft. Now it was for love of a man who would never fit there.

A dangerous trade the moonwoman asked for. But it would be unfair of him to ask of her own heaviness and not give some of his own.

Very well, den. A komès

kukutux breathed the strength of the world.

"my daughter has turned away from my people and her ways. she is with child. they will not be born to know sedna. i struggle with my anger for the man she chose."

now she set her eyes on etienne, willing him with a gentle expression.

Etienne frowned in thought, but he did offer her a kind smile. My granme was one dat would 'ave tol' you, use dat. But for some. Anger 'as no place, and it cause muc' unrest. But I also know as a son who once left. We always return.

he had left, but not in such a way. It has been tumultuous and unfair of him, but he hadn't hurt his family. At least not in such a terrible way.

I love a man dat probably does not love me. And if 'e does it would be a jealous love. 'e be angry and mean. and I deserve better my 'ead says dis, but my 'eart. My 'eart says stay, love 'im anyway. And I love de sea, 'er call me regular. But de man I love. 'e could not live by de sea, 'e could not bend 'is knee to women and dis makes my 'eart 'urt. Dat I will always be at war wit' myself.

as a son who left, they always returned.

this she knew — had not stratos come home? — and she let out her breath, eyes stung suddenly by a spring of tears.

and etienne warred with what he had been taught and what his heart demanded. "is it bending if these women have love for you?" she soothed. "can you bring change to this love?" her eyes searched him, for the first thing to ask was if such effort was worth the hurt it might give.

Etienne always returned to his mama. When it got too much to bear. He returned. But he also always left again, but this he wouldn't say to the sad mother.

Etienne sighed softly. But I do not know if 'e loves me. 'E does not speak dese tings or give me any reason to tink 'e does. So w'y would 'e bend?

Etienne gave a firm nos. I 'ave already seen 'im be different. I tink 'e just scared dat i be leavin' 'e 'as been left becore by all 'is family.

"if he gives you nothing, do not stay. we learn to give and give until there is nothing left, women."

a pause.

"maybe you learned the same in a place when you traveled."

a breeze rose, moving upon both their faces.

They learn to give and give women. But his mother was not like this. His auntie either. Nor was Suzu. It had always been Etienne.

He gave a soft sad laugh. I was born dis way. I always tought if I can keep all de ones I love from feelin' it and I feel it all. Dey will be safe. But it didn't work, dey were not safe. And I don't know 'ow to take.