Otter Creek I'll [m]ake your timber shiver

09.18.16 — Ending added.

Denial and abandonment.

They were feelings that he knew well, having been exposed to each one early on in his life. The denial of love, of the inability to feel things as he should, and the moment in which his mother and sisters had abandoned him. He could recognize those feelings—understand them, even—and so it brought him a fleeting feeling of panic when he'd felt both start to bubble up towards the surface. There was hesitance in the other's voice, each word spoken leading the yearling to believe that he was, once again, one moment away from being left alone. And though he knew little more than the stranger's name, there came a tightening within his chest, each breath taken becoming harder than the last. The idea of him leaving was unsettling, the sensation increased tenfold by the thought of their recent coupling. Never was it easy for Xan to hand over control, especially when it came to his own body, yet he'd allowed for the other to manipulate the situation as he'd seen fit. Realizing how easily he'd allowed for the other to take him, too, was another reason for why he couldn't stand the idea of him leaving over a small—it was but a simple one, in his mind—request.

When there'd been offered a shake of the head, he'd read into it incorrectly, and for a brief moment it'd felt to Alexander almost the same as when he'd had to watch his mother leave, never to return. There was a pressing feeling upon his entire body, a weight that he couldn't quite shake, and he'd felt his limbs moving without command in order to lift him up and off of the other male. All he'd actually managed to do, however, was shift, and then there'd come a word that he'd thought he might never hear, leading to an immediate stop.

Okay.

It lacked any sort of complexity, existing as a word so commonly spoken that its significance often wore thin. In that moment, though, it'd become important. No mentions of promises had once been made in all the while that they'd spoken, and yet, that was exactly what he'd perceived the okay as being; it was a promise that the other would follow him, and that he would not abandon the albino. It was not at all what had been said, as far as the boy knew, but he'd ignored logic for a moment so as to enjoy a time of gaiety. Not anger, not annoyance, and certainly not sadness, but a true feeling of happiness. For why he'd felt it, he could not pinpoint, but he didn't quite care either way. No matter from where it'd arisen, it was still there, and had successfully relieved his chest of all building pressure. Once again he was able to breathe easy, lungs no longer teetering on the edge of collapsing. Whilst he'd experienced so many things at once, never had he the words to get across what was going on within him. And so his emotions were displayed through actions alone, Alexander's muzzle having weaseled its way beneath Adonis' chin. It was a gesture that he'd observed others do before, but never could he recall a moment in which he'd recreated it until then. His lack of knowledge on how affections and thanks should be shown was made painfully obvious, too, by his stiffness and overall awkward maneuvering.

Xan's face had not remained pressed against him for very long before more words were shared, and he'd pulled his head back just in time to catch sight of a grin. In a matter of seconds, his ears had fallen back whilst eyes narrowed into a skeptical glare. Uncertainty was evident within his gaze, still, but had become far less concentrated than what it'd been in the beginning. "How often will we have to do it? What's the normal amount?" he'd asked, honestly curious. Some fraction of his mind wanted to believe that it all depended on the two beings involved, but he'd posed the question nevertheless, interested to hear what the ghostly boy might say. That had led to a following inquiry, too, having stemmed partially from his want to get to know the other, but more so from his disinterest in ever being cast aside and left alone again. "If you find someone else that wouldn't hide you, would you leave to follow them?" For some reason that was unknown to him, he didn't want the male to leave, even if a life away might better match the pallid wolf.

For several moments longer, he'd remained there with the male and listened to him speak. His questions were answered, though he'd felt strange when hearing some of them. No matter, he'd swallowed his nerves after a short while and began the trek back to the woods, leading the pale boy along with him.