Broken Boulder what will you dream of tonight, lady rachel?

she doesn't seem to object to his rambling, so after a moment he sucks in a breath and cautiously goes on, watching to make sure she doesn't start looking bored or annoyed. "tindómë's been on my mind a lot lately," he repeats, voice turning shy, "because of them, i guess. like... i feel bad that it ended up this way sometimes. not -- alarian was very kind to take us in and -- i like it here, of course, but i also know we're sort of interlopers. i don't uh, i don't blame any of you for being distrustful or upset about it, honestly," he adds, wondering if lily is still upset about their presence in the way eris and the others were -- are? who knows. "i wasn't even supposed to lead -- and i definitely wasn't supposed to lead on my own -- and i feel like, i feel like i'm cursed, somehow, because burke died and then the king elk and -- cicero, even, even if he wasn't with us with us, and just, it all sort of fell apart at the end."

this is maybe definitely not a very good thing to be telling your packmate who barely knows you (hi i'm cursed and i will ruin your pack), and as he speaks color floods his cheeks, his jaw snapping shut with an embarrassed whine. good thing she can't talk, he thinks before he can help himself and shakes his head to chase it away. "um! the kids though. they're great," delight says, changing the subject and hoping she will please nicely let it all go because he is such a sadsack.