Heron Lake Plateau If he ever singles you up, if he's ever stupid enough

The more time Fiadh spent in the waterlogged territory, the less she hated it. Her initial impression had been wonder and excitement, subsequently followed by disgust for how many hidden watering holes there were. She was soaked at least half of the time, but that was all part of getting used to a new place, and her unflappable Blackthorn spirit broke through. These days her footing was more sure as she crossed the territory, ignoring waterfowl as they chattered and flew overhead. She could get used to the Plateau.

There was something else on her mind, however, driving her to look for @Towhee. She supposed if she found her parents, they would serve just as well, but it was a harder subject to break with them. Not that it was an easy subject, mind you. Fiadh's guts were twisting with nerves even as she scented the ground, searching for the leader or even any sign of her hawk circling in the sky above.

The tip of her tail switched back and forth as Towhee's orange eyes scanned across the meadow. It might make a good rendezvous site, though she would see what Finley and Elwood thought before declaring it the pack's formal gathering place. In the meantime, she ventured forth, sniffing here and there. She found herself hoping to find a replacement for the badger den nearby, though there was nothing comparable. That reminded her, though: she needed to seek out Raven and see if she needed any help getting her medicine cabinet established.

She pivoted on a heel, heading back the way she had come, and saw X circling low in preparation to land nearby. Towhee's eyes flicked beyond him, zeroing in on movement there, spotting Fiadh. She smiled at the sight of her younger sister and instantly began moving toward her. She hadn't had a one-on-one with the Lambda since before their big move, though Towhee had secretly been meaning to pull both Fiadh and Clover aside to learn some of their fighting moves because, honestly, they could tag-team like nobody's business.

-Hey, Fi, 'sup?- As a deaf wolf, Towhee had sharp eyes and a knack for reading body language, so her brow almost immediately furrowed as she noticed a nervousness about the younger wolf. "Something the matter?" she asked out loud.

Oh, thought the Blackthorn with a start as she spotted X wheeling overhead. That had to mean Towhee was near. Suddenly she was overcome with the urge to turn around and go the other way, but her dark-furred sibling had spotted her already. It wouldn't do to change her mind now. Anyway, Fiadh wasn't really the type to run from her problems. She tended to run directly toward them.

This was a bit different, though, and she fidgeted as the Alpha cottoned on to her inner turmoil. This wasn't something she could charge at with her siblings. Her ears pulled back and then planed to the sides of her head as she shuffled and stalled with, "ummmm," and made a big deal out of seating herself. The meadow really was beautiful, she thought, and then forced herself to refocus. Usually so confident, Fiadh wasn't used to this apprehension.

At last she blurted out, quite suddenly and with gently shining eyes, "why don't you like me as much?"

The Alpha stood as solidly as a stone as Fiadh seated herself, fidgeting in abruptly overt discomfort. Towhee's ears drew back apprehensively, wondering who she needed to kill on her little sister's behalf—probably Screech, fuck it all—only to thrust forward at the unexpected words that fell from Fiadh's lips. She blinked several times, her own lips parting as if to ask if she'd heard (read, rather) correctly, only to clap shut. The look in Fiadh's eyes told her she hadn't somehow misinterpreted.

Her mouth opened again, though she was momentarily struck dumb. The question had come out of left field, as far as she was concerned, and she couldn't help but flash back to the episode with the collar. Towhee suddenly felt very tentative, like she needed to make sure she was very careful to make sure she understood and responded correctly.

-I'm not entirely sure what you mean,- she confessed before quickly adding, -but you're my sister and I love you, of course.- Towhee wasn't much of one for sappy words, though she didn't mind (almost quite literally) spelling it out like this, especially when it seemed imperative to be crystal clear. "But tell me," she pressed, "what do you mean?" She didn't say it out loud, though her expression said it for her: "I want to understand."

It was do or die, really. Towhee's confusion made perfect sense, and even Fiadh understood that her sister wouldn't really know what she was talking about. She'd been very vague, after all. She thought it was obvious—obvious enough to be a little upset about, all things considered—but didn't gawk or scoff when the Alpha female expressed confusion. Well, I know that, she signed in response to being called a sister, "but..."

Sucking in a huge breath, the Blackthorn steadied her nerves. Why did she think this was going to go so horribly? Fiadh had never been plagued with doubts before, but she was now. She didn't know why—didn't know that suddenly being self-conscious of everything was just a part of growing up. "I'm lower ranked than everyone else!" she protested. "I'm barely even above those outsiders! Tegan's higher and he completely disobeyed you and ran away!" It was clear from her tone that to her, rank wasn't everything, but it was something. She didn't have high ambitions but she hated scraping the bottom.

Her ears, which had popped up, returned to half-mast. "Am I really that useless to you? To be lower than everyone except those jerkwads that tried to fight us?" There was no accusation or fire in her now. Only sadness, and a little hurt.

The point of contention, apparently, was her younger sister's place in the pecking order. Towhee's brow furrowed as Fiadh vented, upset particularly by Tegan outranking her. She couldn't hear the girl's tone, of course, though she could see that her words were fueled more by hurt than anger as she wondered if she was useless and whether her efforts didn't matter.

"You're definitely not useless, Fi," the Alpha replied, her voice as wooden as ever but a patient expression on her face and a gentle look in her eye. "A lot of different factors go into ranks," Towhee explained, aware that it was vague. But that was the leaders' business. With that said, she couldn't help but wonder, "What rank would you like to be?" There was no law saying that personal preference couldn't be factored into the formula.

But, of course, proving herself would be one of the primary contributing factors. "I've always known Clo was feisty," Towhee said in the next moment, "but I'm only just now seeing that side of you. I think there's a lot of potential there. I even think I could learn some things from you two." She paused, orange eyes sparking with an idea. "If I allowed it, would you be interested in challenging Tegan for his rank?"

There was more to her hurt than just reasonable upset about her place. There was an unreasonable component, named Teenage Angst, that made her frown when Towhee only vaguely answered. She hadn't given any reason why Tegan, a sulky baby who had gone directly against her orders, was higher ranked than she was. Fiadh, fuelled by Teenage Angst, could only assume it was what she'd thought all along—Towhee just didn't like her as much as she liked Clover and Tegan and Lucca, but didn't want to admit it.

"I dunno," she said quietly, but I deserve to be higher than outsiders, not right alongside them. I'm just as good as my siblings. Maybe she wasn't, though. Maybe she really was useless among the Blackthorns. But what did Tegan and Clover and Lucca have that she didn't? Fiadh didn't know. She couldn't think of anything. So she fell silent, even as Towhee offered to let her challenge Tegan's rank.

"Why's he higher anyway?" she asked again, ears flicking uncertainly. "I shouldn't even have to challenge him. He disobeyed you. I didn't." It wasn't that she had a problem with her brother, mind you. She loved Tegan dearly and all her teasing was really from a good place. She just didn't understand how he could do what he did and be higher ranked when she'd done nothing but try to be helpful and obedient—and maybe a little firecracker-y, which could be seen as a problem and cause enough for her rank to be in question, but then Clover was ranked high, wasn't she?

Fiadh didn't know it, but she was capital J Jealous of her siblings in that moment.

Maybe it was a good thing that Fiadh didn't seem very interested in her idea—Tegan would never forgive Towhee—but the Alpha felt an unkind bolt of frustration when her sister didn't answer either of her own questions. She tried to muster her patience, since Fiadh's concerns were valid and seemed deeply-rooted, to boot.

"Tegan might have disobeyed me, but I know he works hard and will one day make a good scout," Towhee replied. "Like I said, we factor lots of different things into how we decide ranks." She paused, trying to catch Fiadh's eye. "In any case, Fi, ranks are fluid. Except for leadership, they'll change a lot from week to week. And I need you to understand they're not somehow proportional to how much I personally like someone. Whether you were an Alpha or Omega, I'd like—love—you just the same."

Sensing that she was probably saying all the wrong things, Towhee tacked on, "If you still have questions, you should talk to your mom and dad too. I may not be explaining this very well."

In light of Fiadh's stubborn inability to see past Teenage Angst, Chelsie felt rather bad for Towhee. Fiadh, on the other hand, only felt frustrated. "I work hard too!" she insisted, but it was clear enough she wasn't going to get the answer she wanted from Towhee. She wasn't looking to pick a fight, either. She really was a good kid who loved her family and tended to do the right thing, but being placed alongside two enemies of the Redhawks in the ranks, lower even than wolves who directly disobeyed the leaders, had her in a weird state. She was self-conscious and hurt, and that made her feel unloved.

Because, well, dramatic as fuck.

Towhee tried to reassure her that she didn't love her any less for her low rank, but Fiadh rolled her shoulders and turned away. "Whatever, Tow," she mumbled, averting her gaze and flattening her ears down. "Thanks for your time." And acknowledgement, she almost added, but again, Fiadh wasn't really looking to pick a fight for her sister. She didn't hate her or anything like that, she was just upset. She was looking for answers, reasons why she deserved to be dead last, because she certainly didn't consider either Niamh or Screech to be pack members. Maybe she would go hunt down one of her parents. Maybe they'd get it.

The Alpha's jaw tightened as Fiadh rejected her every attempt to explain and reassure. She caught the, "Whatever, Tow," but not the quiet word of thanks. Despite herself, Towhee's hackles prickled. She quickly forced them to smooth down, reminding herself that, sure, she would probably rebuke another pack mate for behaving like this. But it was one of her younger siblings and Fiadh would never know just how much that was to her benefit, titles aside.

Unsure what to say now, Towhee let the edge of frustration soften before she spoke again. "You could definitely boost yourself by showing me some of those moves you and Clo unleashed on Screech." The Betas hadn't much liked the girls' involvement in the altercation and, honestly, their rash behavior could have made the whole thing go a lot more sideways. But the stunt hadn't gone unnoticed by the seasoned warrior, who maybe wanted to add it to her personal repertoire.

Towhee followed up with a bribe. Was it right to bribe your upset younger siblings? Probably not, but Fiadh was looking for ways to improve her standing or at least win back her elder sister's regard, so she turned, albeit a little reluctantly, to face the Alpha once more. She didn't really know how to describe what she and Clo had done, though.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "Clover went for his one side so it just made sense to go for the other one. Dude's only got one mouth and one eye, he couldn't fight us on both sides." Besides, the Blackthorns were badass. She'd always considered Towhee to be the most badass of them, and that hadn't changed just because she was upset about the ranks. She didn't think she could give the mercenary any tips that Towhee didn't already know. Fiadh had only done what made sense to her, which had evidently been the right thing.

Fiadh faced her again, though she didn't seem particularly enthused about the topic. It slowly dawned on Towhee there was probably nothing she could say or do to appease her younger sister right now. Her best bet was to stop trying and leave her alone, let this mood pass and then maybe address it again later on if it was still bugging the young Lambda.

"It was a smart tactic," Towhee said simply. Despite internally acknowledging the fact that she should give up and try again later, she was tempted to invite Fiadh to a spar, maybe call for Clover too. But she bit her tongue and offered instead, "I was gonna go find Raven. You're welcome to come with." More likely, Fiadh wouldn't want to tag along, though it was entirely up to her whether to assist or take the out.

"Thanks," she returned, but the invitation to tag along with Towhee then was met with lukewarm reception. Fiadh really liked Raven—and really liked Towhee, too—but she was feeling rather downtrodden with the lack of specific answers as to why she was lower ranked than her siblings, and so she shook her head. "I'm gonna find Clo," she decided, and headed off in the other direction in hopes that was where her sister actually was. She'd get over it in time, but for right now, she just wanted to know what she was doing wrong.

Maybe Clover, who was far higher ranked, could give her pointers on what was right to get up there. Not too high, but higher than bottom. Maybe Finley and Elwood could explain what she was doing so wrong that everyone else wasn't. If she found any of those wolves she would be happy to discuss with them.