Silvertip Mountain I've been thinking

@Ezekiel - let's see what happens. Hopefully it won't come to blows.

The weather was hot and lazy, the pack was all good fun. With prey returning, bellies filling, pelts growing thin and smooth - things were looking up. There was a familiar, giddy joy in the land that all wolves knew, but that sometimes went missing in times of hardship. And while Grayday got the urge to romp as playfully as the rest of them, there were days when the weight of all the choices he'd made came crashing down harder than hunger, heavier than the summer heat.

He'd wandered away from the rest of of the pack, not wanting to ruin the mood with his bad attitude.

Why can't I just be happy with what I've got? I wasn't happy with my old pack, and now I've lost them. I wasn't happy with just the little shewolf, and now I've lost her. If I keep going on this way, I'll lose even this new family I've found, and I don't know what I'd do with myself if I were to be alone again. Something's got to give, and I have a feeling it's going to have to be me.

He paced through the Felsig Forest, anger and self-pity warring in his mind, while his naturally diplomatic disposition chided him for being so ungrateful.

Late reply, I've been swamped lately! So sorry about that <3

Ezekiel was on his way back from a patrol, cutting through Felsig forest to try and reach his favorite place in all of Silvertip Mountain. His den. He loved his den. It was comfortable, at the roots of a large tree in Silvertip Hollow, surrounded by vegetation and if he was lucky a couple flowers. The perfect place to nap. He was so ready for a nap, after all of his rounds he got tired. But he stopped when he smelled a familiar scent. It was Grayday, the male who he still held some suspicions about.

He followed it, just wanting to see what the blindish male was up to. He soon found Grayday, pacing side to side anxiously. Zeke chuffed to get his attention, then spoke. You ok? The other looked a bit distraught, maybe Zeke could help some. Counseling Grayday could maybe put a bit more trust in their relationship.

Grayday turned his head at the sound of the voice, and paused his pacing when he noticed it was Ezekiel, Lord Gamma on High. Part of him wanted to give an irritable grumble, but he kept that part thoroughly in check; it wouldn't do to disrespect the male, no matter how much he got on Grayday's nerves. He'd earned his position the same as any wolf, and Grayday didn't like to write people off a jerks before he got down to the roots of their actions. Sometimes, he reminded himself, it is very hard to act the way you know is right.

So he gave a friendly wag of his tail and faced the other wolf more fully before sitting down.

"Hello, Ezekiel," he said respectfully, hoping the other wolf didn't think he was overdoing it. "I am... not in physical distress, if that's what you mean," he explained, not exactly sure what the younger male wanted with him. "Why do you ask?"

While a part of him still wanted to ignore the other male, Grayday knew that it was in his best interests to try and connect with every member of the pack. Not only would it keep the pack steady and strong - although that was very important - it would also help him to plant roots in this territory, and possibly exorcise the demons that'd been plaguing him since entering the land.

Grayday turned in a friendly manner, wagging his tail. A complete shift from his previous squalor. Day spoke, apparently not in physical distress. Mental then? Zeke asked in a teasing yet friendly tone. He trotted forwards to sit down near Grayday, chest puffed in dominance but relaxed in a friendly and laid back manner. Zeke raised an eyebrow at Grayday. He wasn't 100%, but usually pacing back and forth meant something was on your mind. A decision one is trying to make, or a solution they are seeking. His insight as a up and coming counselor wasn't always right, but he tried his best. 

I only ask because you left the Grand Canyon in your wake. He joked, gesturing to the many footprints that now indented the dusty ground beneath them. He liked to start talks with humor, to lighten the mood. He wanted this particularly to go well, so he could learn more about Grayday. So he could ease his suspicions about the blind wolf. In all serious though, you can tell me if there's anything on your mind. I like to listen. He said, dropping his playful tone for a calmer more business type one.

A humbling respect for the other male rose in Grayday's chest. He's trying very hard to be fair and open to me. I was not going to give him the chance, earlier, and I doubt that I would've tried to befriend him on my own. He was rather touched by the whole exchanged, but decided that was a thought to keep to himself. All the same, he let himself smile a little at Ezekiel, wanting to show that he was receptive to the man's friendly wooing. Better not say it like that to him.

"You're very kind to ask, Ezekiel. I know we haven't gotten off on the right foot - I appreciate you reaching out to me," he said gently, biting the proverbial bullet. A weight seemed to rise from his chest, and he felt he could continue the conversation on more even footing, now that he'd acknowledged what he thought of as the elephant in the room. "I do have something on my mind, but it's not very exciting stuff. There are things in my past that I wish I could change, though I know it would be thoughtless to do so, were I really given the chance. Hardly a unique problem."

Grayday paused for a moment, a bt uncertain. Although Ezekiel seemed very friendly, now, he wasn't sure he wanted to air his dirty laundry to the wolf. These feelings were not something he was proud of, and he did not want Ezekiel's opinion of him to be further lowered in light of them. But that's no way to live your life - trying to change how others think of you. If you live a life worth living, the people who matter to you will see you as you are, and overlook what needs to be overlooked, help you see what needed to be changed.

"I hope you won't think too badly of me for these things - they're tired thoughts. Nothing for it but to get over it, and I just haven't, yet," he explained in a sad voice. I hope you won't, but if you do, you do so with my permission. And if you don't, I have gained a friend indeed.

Grayday sure did like to talk a lot. Ezekiel already said he would listen, and he was interested in doing so, but he did wish the half blind wolf would condense his stories a little. No problem. He said, before Grayday began to unload. Stuff in his past and changing it. Everyone had things they wished they could change. Zeke would need to know more about those things if he was gonna help ease Gray's thoughts. Just tell me what happened. He wanted to yell, but that would definitely be rude. 

No! I won't judge anyone, swear it. Not my style. He said, urging Grayday to continue.

At the other male's assurance, Grayday held back another snort of disbelief. He's done his fair share of judging me so far, he thought rather savagely, before subsiding. But that's his right. All I can do is tell my side of the story - but is it even worth it, if my audience has already made their opinions about me?

Once again, the weight of his journey settled down on him like an icy, suffocating blanket of snow.

"It's just - a lot of things," he said triedly, giving up trying to look put-together and laying his head down on his paws. No matter what this wolf said, Grayday wasn't sure he felt right unloading on him. Maybe because he didn't feel quite welcome, or maybe because of the substance of his thoughts. It just didn't seem like the right time. "It's a long story, Ezekiel. Maybe... maybe some other time."

He knew better than anyone that it was bad to let these feelings fester, but there was always tomorrow, right?

Fade here and another soon? <3

Damn, he couldn't get Grayday to open up. It was frustrating, but also partly his fault. In fact he had judged Grayday when they'd first met at the border, and had been hard on him ever since. It made sense that the male wouldn't want to spill his secrets to Ezekiel. Zeke didn't judge pasts, he judged presents. He had hoped Grayday would understand that, but the blind wolf didn't. Zeke nodded, he accepted Grayday's wishes and responded. Alright, but I only want to help. Some other time. He gave the male a brief and friendly smile before turning away and heading towards his den. He had failed at his counseling hobby today, but there was indeed always tomorrow.

Sure! Thanks for the thread!

"Some other time," he agreed, his tail thumping once in assent. His eyes tracked the gray wolf's departure, and then dropped down to his own paws when the other was out of sight. Some other time, he thought to himself, his sour mood returning full-force. Maybe this'll just go away on its own. They say time heals all wounds.

Pulling himself together, Grayday stood, stretched, and loped off to find himself a meal.