Morningside Cuesta ouska

for @Etienne & @Anselm! no posting order <3 other tags for ref!

resentment was beginning to carve heda into the hard lines of an unknown ancestry, one of war and commanders. the constant hunt had taken all her spare flesh, and the hips which had flowed to curvature during the last of her pregnancy had narrowed once more.
a relief, then, finding @Ava Amara and @Anathema within the bypass when she came back from yet another search for food. she had hugged them and spoken of her joy to see them again, and welcomed them, her eyes searching their own; what about @Dinah?
what she had wanted was to be soft and blossomy, scented with milk and teaching her songs to the six new babes in rivenwood. if not a wife, then a mother. she felt it came to her easily, and was desperate on some unsaid level for another chance to see what she had done wrong. instead she was here, banished to more endless hunting, away from the pups, with interminable days ahead.
as evening fell, heda cut a small, thin shadow against the backdrop of the canny cuesta, carrying a heron which had been hunting frogs in the mud.
it's been two weeks since i saw @Glaukos.
the thought jerked her to a halt, the bird swinging.
she hadn't been there when @Druid told him to leave. she remembered him at the den directly after the birth of @Ezra and @Gideon, but really nothing after.
so he hadn't come back after all, and she'd been wrong. he had no investment in the pups, and thinking this made her chest ache. and yet she didn't want him anywhere near rivenwood. why should he care if either of the sisters struggled? for some reason her eyes scorched with angry, exhausted tears, ones heda shoved away; she didn't have the luxury of crying.
hoping @Fiona was somewhere near druid, even though the healer had said her sister should be alone, heda went on, climbing the soiled, ragged slopes back up to noctisardor.

They made camp above the Bypass, their travel impeded by heavy rain the day after Glaukos had thrown his command down. Anselm eyed the sodden slopes warily, about to announce it may be time for them to move when he saw an all too familiar silhouette.

The guilt he'd managed to repress rose like bile to his mouth. Heda.

She was leaner than when they'd left. A heron hung limp from her jaws; a thin catch for a thinner creature. Anselm wondered if she'd missed him -- or Etienne -- at all these last few hard days, or if she knew of what her guard dog had done. Any warmth he had for her was withered by that memory -- he did not hide himself as she came into view, but he did not offer soft song for her either.

Etienne followed behind. He wavered between gross anger and crushing guilt. And he really really wanted to do terrible god awful things to Glaukos. But there was a small part of him. That was angry that Heda and Druid were not like his auntie and his mama.

They were softer, quieter. They didn't know their worth and that rankled. In his opinion. Every woman should know their worth. He was stopped short by Anselm stopping in place. He blinked. And looked around him. Bitter taste filling his mouth. Heda looked so bedraggled.

as she fought for better footing in the muck, she slipped, and as she went down, her tired eyes caught a glimpse of familiarity.
mud dripped from her shoulder. heda dropped the pitifully bedraggled heron onto a firmer patch of earth. the golden eyes that slid between anselm and etienne were those of a wary, hunted animal.
she did not need to have been around glaukos to learn the same lesson he taught druid.
"he's been gone for a few days. druid told him to leave." if no one stopped her, heda would grab the bird and step around them, bone-weary and wanting only to reach the den.
why were they back? she'd factored them out, and now seeing their additions ruined her calculation.
her mind tried to absorb itself; her eyes hazed, and the island passed into her view.

Etienne simmered besides him. Anselm could sense the dry heat in his mouth — whatever name that emotion had, its taste was horribly acrid.

He did not have time to parse such feelings. Heda slipped and fell; it moved something in Anselm that he stirred immediately, recalling the tension between them and Glaukos’ poor treatment of them all.

He looked to Etienne and then back to Heda, now rimed in mud and more miserable than before. Vhat do you mean he is gone? Gone for good? A glance spared to Etienne then to see if he believed it. If Druid planned to chase Glaukos away, why did she not fight to keep him and Etienne? Anselm had learned little felt worse than not having someone you counted on fight for you; however undeserved, that feeling remained — and it was ugly as it coiled around his heart.

Etienne gave a soft gasp and shifted to help Heda where she fell. Though she had gotten bsck up. Every bad thought was still there
But Etienne was a healer to his core. And he could no more leave her there alone in muck and mire than he could quit breathing.

'eda let me 'elp you up dis.

And though he boiled like a dormant volcano and he cursed and spit on the name of Glaukos.

Though the close proximity reminded him ten fold that she held a piece of Anselm Etienne could never have. And she had given the yearling a gift he could also never provide.

He still reached out a paw to help.

she almost snapped when etienne came to help her, and it had nothing to do with the healer. out of those men in rivenwood, it was he who had been the kindest.
and so while there was no smile, heda gave etienne a softer look. without him both ava and druid might have been dead a while.
"i mean she ordered him out and he left days ago," heda said in a monotone, dropping the bird a second time in clear annoyance with anselm. "i don't know if he's gone for good."
they owed each other nothing. glaukos believed all the pups were his. there was no obligation for anselm to fulfill to heda, and all the same she felt hurt inside her, that he had never asked, never cared, and had no investment in rivenwood.
"it's just been me, fiona, and druid. i need to get back. my sister's alone with the pups." but the heron was stained with so much mud that she hardly even wanted to bring it with her now. heda stared at the limp feathers beneath the dark blotches. "he hurt her. after she told him to leave."
anselm had no reason to stand by them, and neither did etienne. duty had brought the healer here, and glaukos had tried to trap him. in fact, out of the three wolves present, the den father had only left heda untouched.

Etienne was a far better man than he. The seaborn moved to help Heda, gilt gaze soft with concern. Anselm noticed Heda’s pinched expression relented as she looked on Etienne, and felt a bitterness he’d never experienced such a look. For good reason — as it didn’t even occur to him to help her when she fell. 

Anselm’s justification was Heda had demonstrated his help was a burden; she didn’t want him — but now, standing here before them muddy and bedraggled, Heda didn’t look strong or independent. 

She looked run down and ragged. 

He ignored the possibility her condition was partially due to his hand. He reminded himself she’d chosen her bed and now she wallowed in it — but this wasn’t particularly fair, and he knew this. 

He stiffened, defecting the vague annoyance in her manner. His fur prickled when he learned Glaukos had hurt Druid too. Etienne was given another quiet glance to read what he thought of the situation.  

This was all more risk on his head than he wanted to bear, but Anselm knew his choices on the matter were narrowing by the second. Men like that don’t just leave. Anselm stated quietly, looking at Etienne now. There was a silent suggestion in Heda’s words that remained unspoken: just a coven of women, unprotected and vulnerable. Anselm’s skin crawled. He wanted to ask how badly Druid was hurt, but the annoyance in Heda’s demeanor inspired him to keep his mouth shut. For once.

Something dark and ugly passed across Etienne's face when he heard that Glaukos had hit Druid. He was furious and he heard a distinct ringing in his ears.

ala yon bourik.

He was torn. And he felt as if this was a bit of a guilt trip. Yes they were leaving the girla defenseless as well. But the girls had chosen Glaukos, and this life. And yet they hadn't asked to be hurt or abused. And no man should do so.

He looked to Anselm. And sighed. 'eda go rest. I will go 'untin'. Dat bird is no longer fit to eat until it be rinsed. And you just Birt'ed babies. You need rest too.

"yes. i know." her shoulders tensed with the lurching need to shout at them, to chase them away from this place they never had wanted to be. "i told druid she could leave with fiona. i can handle glaukos. but she won't. she wants him gone and us" struggling starving hating winnowing gasping "she wants us to do this without him."
alone.
etienne's offer of help almost made her convulse with anger. and reminding her of ezra and gideon almost forced heda to look at their potential father, standing silent and austere. instead she only bloomed with pain to know she was away from them far too early for far too long, out of a necessity she hadn't caused.
she wanted the help, she wanted it badly. but she refused to rely on anyone who wouldn't stand up to protect the bypass, and she certainly wasn't going to ask it of etienne. or anselm, for that matter. "i'll live. if you're coming, druid needs you. her elbow is messed up, her mouth is cut to pieces." quietly; "he knocked out some of her teeth." saying it aloud made her feel like a terrible sister. saying it aloud made her want to scream at druid to leave, because if all four of them believed glaukos might come back, who knows what he could do then.
he was an animal of schedule and routine. he knew enough not to hurt both sisters; who would nurse his pups? heda felt this saved her from the punishments he'd doled to the others; why did druid stay, trapped in a den and debilitated?
the minutes were slipping by. all she wanted was to rest, to bathe the cold mud off herself and curl among the puppies for a few hours. their eyes were opening, and she was going to miss more moments.
moments she didn't even think druid cared about, not the way heda did. her sister needed attentive care and no demands on her tormented body; she needed to be out of noctisardor, heda decided, the same way she herself had needed to leave sweetharbor.

Familiar voices drew Fiona toward the small crowd gathered. She had left @Druid only for a little while, assuring the struggling mother that she would be back soon. Anselm and Etienne were gathered with Heda. The witch wasn't entirely sure what to make of their reappearance. She hadn't thought them gone gone, but she also hadn't been entirely sure where they'd been off to or why they hadn't been helping as of late.

Her own figure had slimmed down considerably. She hadn't missed a single dose of her medicine, and she didn't intend to. On days she went back to the hollow, she hunted for the pack, but even then, there was only so much she could do on her own.

She looked to each briefly, eventually settling her gaze on Anselm. She wondered if he had revealed to anybody else that he was likely the father of Heda's children. Fiona did not think so, but she also wondered if Etienne suspected as much. The witch shifted her eyes to Heda, then the other two men.

I'm guessing Heda filled you in, she said. If Glaukos comes back, we have to make sure he stays away from Druid. The guard dog may have been large, but four against one were much better odds than two against one. Fiona was no warrior or guardian herself, but she had other skills that might come in handy.

Anselm’s gaze met with Etienne and for a moment there was a hopeful spark in there: a feeling that despite this bullshit, they were together. Like brothers, Anselm lied to himself. 

Still that feeling of something off balance persisted. A piece that did not fit. 

 Anselm didn’t want Heda to beg, but his pride was wounded and slow to recover. As a result, he was slow to offer any visible comfort or support.  

It was decided — they would return. There went Etienne’s kind heart — a nobler thing than Anselm would ever possess. 

He listened with a frown as Heda expanded on the damage Glaukos caused. While he told himself he did not love Heda, he wasn’t stupid — at some point in the last few weeks he’d come to the realization the timeline between her pregnancy and her birth was too close to their own union to truly believe she’d taken care of the pregnancy at all. Did that mean she was capable of using Glaukos - was he more victim in this scenario than any of them?

His gaze slid to Fiona, who looked even skinnier now than last they’d met. For a season opening up its arms to them, the harvest was meager. Every one of them felt the pinch of scarcity. 

If he comes back, it is kill or be killed. Anselm leveled each of them with a solemn look. If they let Glaukos live, he would continue to damage them all individually. Druid had already paid a blood price. It is the only vay.

A flicker of annoyance at Fiona's presence and the way she handed out orders in a way. But he said nothing. Biting his tongue. He shifted away from them all. Realizing he really needed to put up more walls between him and all of them. Perhaps he should go home for a time.

He thought again of poison and wondered if he could ask his mama what it was called. A tightening of his throat. He wanted to scream and run and leave. Cut ties and just run. But he stood in place. Heda refusing his help, fiona and Anselm staring at hin with gravity filled stares.

His eyes burned and he nodded. But said nothing. No more words.

last for me! <3

"i don't care what you do. i don't care if you kill him. just keep everything away from druid and that den."
she was snapping now, frost in her gilded eyes, the voice beyond exhaustion speaking in anger.
"i think druid should leave," heda said plainly to fiona, "and i think all of you should go with her. anywhere else." her hard gaze surveyed the silent men. "but she doesn't want to leave. so do whatever is decided. leave me out of it."
no one was listening. anselm and etienne didn't want to hold onto this patch of land. fiona needed a break. druid couldn't even fight right now. and for all her fury, heda didn't want to fight either. she was frustrated by the fact that none of them seemed to be considering the six vulnerable lives, none expendable, none worth risking more anger and violence by attacking glaukos on sight.
she feared him more than she loved this territory that had only seen fit to associate itself with bad things in her life. 
on impulse, heda picked up the heron and shouldered past them all, closing her ears and thinking with fierce desperation of the island. she'd rinse the bird in the lagoon, then her own pelt, before taking it to druid. there she'd inform her sister that anselm and etienne had come back, and were formulating a plan with fiona for what to do if glaukos returned.
that would lift druid's spirits, she hoped. only then would she allow the pups to nurse as she lay down sighing among them, slamming her eyes shut on the world once more.

They each knew Glaukos better than she, and Fiona would not intervene if they decided to end his life. She still did not think it was the best course of action, considering all that might be lost in trying to do so, but she would hold a united front to keep the rest of the pack from harm. Fiona also didn't think Druid leaving would solve her problems (or anybody else's, for that matter). If Glaukos had stuck close by, rather than leaving all together, Fiona might have tried to reason with him, but she hadn't spotted him since that day. She could only assume he had taken Druid's words to heart and left the bypass for good.

Heda left with all but a huff, and Fiona watched her walk away.

She turned her attention back to Anselm and Etienne. Glaukos can and will hurt you if you go after him—either of you; the pack can't afford that. She was using the term "pack" loosely here, as this was the least cohesive unit she had ever come across. There are more ways to kill than teeth, she said, trying to gauge if Etienne realized what she was getting at.

Etienne's silence drew Anselm's attention. The seaborn's expression said enough.

Heda's voice had unusual sharpness to it. Anselm mentally recoiled to be exposed to so callous an edge; did she truly not care if the man that potentially sired her children lived or died? And where did that place him?

Leave, stay, leave again. The whirlwind complexities of Heda's temper bewildered Anselm. First she asked him and Etienne to stay, and now she pushed them all away again.

Was it for Druid, or her?

How would leaving her behind solve any problem? She was so thin Anselm marveled she even produced milk for the six budding lives at her breast.

Heda stalked past with sodden bird in tow. A wisp of smoke stung Anselm's gaze as he watched her go. He wanted to call her out right then and there and ask, what was the purpose of asking them to stay only to change her mind again? He was not disposable. Etienne was not disposable. And yet, they were whipped around like a pair of reeds in a wild summer storm.

Fiona spoke, suggesting something that had occurred to Etienne but not to Anselm. He did not care for the idea. It went against his twisted ideation of what being a man was. Do you think he vill stop for a bite to eat before he bashes our brains in? He barbed, unable to hold back his tongue. Ve have no choice.

The spot along his shoulder and neck throbbed still from the press of Glaukos' teeth. Resentment burned at the pit of his stomach as he recalled how handily he'd been thrown around.

Heda barked at them with cruelty and Etienne recoiled. Unused to such a brusque way from the island woman who used to sing.

He swallowed. And shifted his feet. He knew what Fiona was saying and it had occurred to him. He could do it, but it would cost him his life. But he supposed his life rather than Heda or Druid who were needed. Anselm who could be father. Fiona who could heal.

I do not agree wit' 'arm, but. Dere be poisons to coat de fur wit' one bite he be sick, possibly dead. Dere is some dat be more potent you can eat it. And den when dey bite you take dem wit' you. I know it. It be 'ow my granme got rid of de bear. I would have to go to de sea. But it must be taken and den a fite immediately started. Dere be otters, but de be the most potent i know.

But will 'e really return dat we must plan dis? Can 'e be reasoned with?


If the answers were yes and then no. He could do this for them. Etienne was not needed. He was indeed expendable.

"Why are men so dense?" Fiona wondered as each responded in a completely different and equally idiotic way. It was as if both of them lacked any sense of imagination, and they both had a death wish... each a different variety, and both unacceptable.

What? No. Neither of you has it right, and you two are far more useful alive than dead. When was the last time you passed up a free meal? I'm betting Glaukos wouldn't pass it up either, even if he was on his way to 'bash our brains in,' she explained. The longer he's out there on his own, the weaker and hungrier he's going to get. He already knows I hunt for Rivenwood, so I imagine he'd accept a meal from me.

Etienne revealed a side to subterfuge Anselm did not know was possible. His eyes widened at this newfound corridor of information — a whole entire world that had previously been closed to him.

Fiona’s response did not inspire confidence in Anselm. As a man it was his self appointed right to be right all the time; he thought it ridiculous to rely on the uncertain.

Yet, part of his fiery indignity had extinguished the moment Heda dismissed them all. He just wanted this to be over. To not have to worry about anything for a while.

Vhatever. You do vhat you vant. Discussing poison and murder was no casual subject for Anselm; it left him deeply distressed. He did not think Glaukos could be reasoned with despite Etienne’s optimism. He only hoped that when the time came, he would strike true and without mercy.

Etienne felt like a beaten dog. No lower than a rat, nay lower than fleas on rats, no lower than amoebas on fleas on rats (heh call back to one of my faves)

He shifted and looked at Fiona. Anselm is rite. Wut is de point. Rite now 'eda and druid need food and rest. Glaukos can wait. I do not tink 'e will return rite away. For now let us simply focus on de nursin' modders and deir babies. De rest we will face wen it be comin'

Etienne had no more to say. He shook his head and with a deeply downtrodden expression went to the right in search of food as promised. He would hunt until his body was too tired to think.

exit unless called back :)

She wasn't at all satisfied with the lack of resolution, but nobody seemed to want to sit down and really figure out their options. The witch inhaled slowly, deeply, pinching away her desire to strangle each and every one of them. No, she would have to be the calm, reasonable, collected one. At least it didn't seem like they were going to go after Glaukos, which was a good sign. She wasn't so sure that would be the case if he showed back up at Rivenwood.

Etienne departed, which left Anselm the last one standing with Fiona. Where were you two, anyway? Really could have used your help around here these past few days. Her stomach gurgled as if to punctuate her point.

That made for two unsatisfied parties. Anselm watched Etienne slink off, holding the image of the seaborn’s downtrodden features in his mind. 

He listened to the methodical breathing if Fiona, the only one left. While her question was not levied against him as an accusation, he swung his gaze to her sharply — his expression one of brief resentment. 

I vas fucking attacked, Fiona! He literally chased me out. I came back to tell Etienne. Vhen ve told Druid, she simply let us go. If it weren’t for Etienne — I vould be gone. No one here likes one another — vhat is the point of staying?

He yelled at her, as if she was supposed to know this. Last they'd seen one another, he had been the one to vouch for her as a part of Rivenwood. Fiona's expression remained neutral. She knew that his desire to stick with Etienne was more than just a brotherly sort of thing. The witch still didn't think that Anselm knew this—or at least was unwilling to admit it.

So what was the point of staying? Fiona thought on this a beat before replying. I think the point is to learn how to deal with issues rather than run away from them every chance we get. "And, y'know, your kids," she thought, but she kept that one to herself.

Anselm’s fur quilled outward. Was she criticizing him and accusing him of running from a wolf the size of a boulder? He could not tell. He was not gracious enough to give her the benefit of the doubt. 

Vhatever. He should have known she’d answer his rhetorical question with a kindergarten-level allegory; really, it was his fault for asking questions he didn’t want answers to. 

I’m going for a valk. He announced, though all that remained of the group was Fiona. Anselm purposely made in the opposite direction at a heavy clip.

Fiona watched as he departed, proving her point that he clearly lacked the ability to work through anything. What was with that man, anyway? She knew part of it—his lack of understanding with Etienne—but there had to be more there. At least none of them were heading out to find and murder Glaukos by their teeth, as far as she could tell. That was a death sentence, no matter which way she thought about it.

She sighed when Anselm finally disappeared from her sight, thinking she should probably depart for the hollow again soon. If not tonight, then the next morning. She wasn't looking forward to it, but the consequences of not going back were far worse.