The Sentinels I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me

"Other people and own experience," Wraen replied simply. She would have loved to be just that arrogant to tell that she had been born already wise and old, but that would be disregard for the number of people, who she had learned from, who had guided and taught her and eventually brought her, where she was now. Having a full mental chest of gems and pearls of wisdom and being as comfortable and happy in her shoes as possible.  

"My parents were absolutely the best people in the world, though I think that I might idolize them a bit too much, since I left them still at that stage in life, where you put your parents on a throne of "they cannot do anything wrong" and do not see them as people with flaws and weaknesses," she said.

"What I miss the most is the chance to talk to them. There have been so many times - very difficult ones - when I have wished to have them there to talk with. To ask for advice, to discuss and argue," if life could be that simple and straightforward. "But... of many valuable things I learned from them, that one, most important was that they loved me for, what I truly was. Not for achievements, talents, aspirations, ambitions and whatnot, but for being me," she explained. 

"Both of my littermates - Sarah and Terance - focussed on becoming the idolized versions of my parents. They were quite competetive and ambitious, they believed that their only road to success was becoming good leaders, warriors and whatnot," the thought that she wanted to express was so clear cut in her mind, but so difficult to put it in enough words to make it sound right. "And for them that praise and admiration from the parents was an essential part of, what drove them further, gave them energy, even when the parents weren't around to see their successes or failures. 

But looking back... I think that it also caused them unnecessary suffering later in life. That belief that your true value lies only in, what you do and how successful you are at it, and definitely in, how many people are around to admire you and cheer you on. And, when you fail or make mistakes, or be criticized, or are abandoned...  it is your fault and you are not worth anything,"  again she could not be sure if her assessment of both of her siblings was correct, but after spending so much time in the company of Maia, who was as different from Terance as the sun was from the moon, she knew that there had to be some truth in her words. 

"I do hope that Dante and Osprey, wherever they are now, and in case they are watching me, are happy and content about, what they see," she concluded.