The Heartwood I don't feel the rain or the sun

Simmik rolled her eyes. His answer was convenient and she didn't believe it for a second. Right. You expect me to believe that you sent one of yours to spy on me to see how I was doing? I'm not an idiot. She was insulted that he would try to play on her feelings for him to forgive him for the betrayal of her trust. And it's your own fault that you can't come near my forest, she pointed out. He made the decisions to behave the way he did, and he had burned his bridges completely on his own, so he had no one to blame but himself. She certainly wouldn't feel bad for him because his actions prevented him from visiting her. It really just spoke to how much she really shouldn't be with him in the first place. A different, less kind leader than Mal would have likely stripped her of her rank for continuing to consort with an enemy of their allies. 

Simmik stared right back at him, and when he walked away again, she refused to follow. He acted as if he had no choice in any of this—like someone had forced his hand in all of the bad things he had done. To some extent, she knew it wasn't all his fault, at least not initially; he was brainwashed by his parents—raised to believe that he could only do evil. But now, he was an adult and she had told him things could be different. He had to know what kind of life he could have with her, and yet he still continued to make bad choices, spy on her, lie to her. When he told her to go be with someone else, her eyes narrowed. Is that what you want? For me to be with someone else? She wished it was what she wanted, honestly, but her heart was stupid. 

He walked back over to her but stopped before he reached her. The way he said her name made her chest tighten nervously. He was going to break things off, she knew it, and it pissed her off how much the thought broke her heart. But what he said was not anything she had been expecting. She was frozen in place while her mind raced and her stomach churned violently. How could he have done such a thing? She knew he was bad, but she didn't think he was capable of raping someone. She felt like a gullible idiot. She felt like she was going to vomit. She felt her heart breaking into a million pieces. Most of all, she felt completely betrayed. She was disgusted with him and it certainly showed on her face. Revulsion and and loathing filled her shattered heart. She couldn't say anything for a long time as her mind tried to process the horror of his actions. How had she been so mislead by a monster? He was a monster. Tears pooled in her eyes no matter how much she tried not to cry. She didn't want to cry in front of this monster, but she was just so destroyed by what he had done. He had done to someone else what had been done to her, and there was just no way she could ever look at him the same way. What the fuck is wrong with you? the same disgust on her face filled every word of her question. How could you do that to someone? There is no fucking excuse for that. She didn't even want to hear him try to rationalize it—there was no way he could to her. 

She stepped closer, venom and hatred in her gaze. Stay away from me. Stay away from my pack. Her jaw tightened in anger for a moment before she continued. If I see you again, I'll kill you. 

She turned her back on him then and began to walk away. Her vision blurred with tears as they started to fall freely down her cheeks. She didn't think it was possible to be anymore broken than she already was, but Kynareth had taken what was left and smashed it into even smaller pieces. The hurt was staggering.