Firefly Glen [M] stop, don't save yourself

slight gore tw

she had never felt anything like it, such a potent inferno of purely carved fury and with that...such blinding power. it was all a little surreal, as if her conscience had retreated into some safe place deep within her mind and handed the controls to this blind, primal instinct. let the beast, the wolf, completely take over. for she felt a smug satisfaction that was not her own radiate through her as the bear staggered and the blood, so much blood; it filled her mouth- painted her pallid fur, so unnaturally bright outside in this world where it did not belong. 

if she could step back; observe the monster that was so absurdly compared to a dove, eyes crazed with that desire to wound and kill, drenched in sticky blood and speaking in the enraged language of snarls and growls- she would likely blanch and succumb to some great horror. especially as her target loosed a rippling groan with yet another treacherous sway and the girl seemed to only dig in further, as if invigorated by such an expression of pain and discomfort. but this was life, no? she had denied it for so long, refusing to so much as hunt the doe eyed deer and melodic birds they shared these vast lands with and yet as if to scorn her for trying to hide from the violence her body was built to inflict- the world had delivered its final present in the form of what was a predator even to them. ultimately forcing her to unleash that feral instinct when it was but a fruitless prolonging of her own demise. 

it was all kind of funny, in some sickly twisted way and when the fiend finally dislodged her with the contact of those teeth and their humbling amount of strength even in its state of weakening just as she felt that tear, the one some deep part of her had known it needed to achieve before the ground claimed her- a breathy laugh huffed from the tremble of wearied jaws. 

her body slammed the snow with a soft gasp, dazed stare making a sluggish climb to where the bear staggered; in a state but still, alive...standing. she should do something about that but....oh she was cold, and so very tired.....this didn't have to be her problem anymore. her mind swam, vision growing spotty as she trembled, she could just...sleep now...

yet some part of her mind that was still so desperately fighting dragged up the face of sweet @Rosewood , or @Valette and @Zephyr...and @Lainie wherever she may be, all wolves she'd cared so dearly about and had had to endure such pain over and over again. how could she be so willing to force upon them that same agony that she herself had barely recovered from? she could not leave them here with this monster still breathing before her, could not do that to those who might remain of osiris' pack, or to the mystical eyed moonspear man who had spoken to her of fireflies and wanderlust and the rest of his packmates...she had to....fight.

yet despite the willing of what minute part of her mind wouldn't give up, it was when the twitch of quickly weakening forepaws were the only reaction that polaris let hazy eyes drift down to release a breathy "oh" 

she was too late it seemed, and she could only blink with a distant wonder at the ugly tear smiling bloodily up at her from her stomach. exposing things she should not be able to see as her body wept that crimson liquid out upon the dirtied snow. it looked sore but....a slow blink, she didn't feel it-- she didn't even feel cold anymore in fact she felt....warm. between the pants of a panicked and failing respiratory system she could only muse breathlessly betwixt bloodied lips "it's the exact same" unable to see where her blood finished and the bear's began; how absurd. 

she didn't remember her head hitting the ground but it was from there that she could see @RIP Kavik and alessia, tears slipping upon the frigid earth as her sluggish heart clenched at the sight of her parents. "mama, papa...i..." i missed you so much, im sorry..but, she felt calm. she was going to see them soon, she didn't have to live with the guilt anymore. and @Clay , as bright and blissful as he'd been when she'd first met him as a wondrous child, the weight she'd carried for not doing more to look out for him easing as she smiled. 

and there- brightest of all, @RIP Osiris, @Leta and of course, @West Tyree. her muscles twitched weakly again, haggard mind fruitlessly commanding them to pull her, drag her to his body one last time. needed to feel the touch of his fur, inhale his scent just one last time. but she'd made it mere few inches before she collapsed once more and knew that was the last of her strength, paws uselessly outstretched towards his empty vessel. a sniff as she sought out the image of him, hiccuping a bloodily bubbled "i'm...sorry i...cant..." 

her head slumped, sightless gaze fixed on the spot he'd been standing; the faintest of smiles curling along her jaws for in those final moments she could swear she'd felt the embrace of his woodsy scent just before the gentle darkness caressed her mind one final time.