Hideaway Strath how strange to seek such strangeness

There were a few notions brewing in her thoughts concerning what he might have to ask her, but never would she have landed on anything close to the truth as a guess. His suggestion comes slowly, almost shyly, and she knows then that she hasn't imagined any of the connection between them. There was a special, secret corner of her heart that belonged to him and likely always would but what he proposed was impossible. Already gooseflesh broke over her skin, prickling with oversensitivity beneath her silky pelt as if her skin were suddenly too tight, and something like adrenaline was flooding her system with such ferocity that she would have swayed if not for the fact that the botanist was already seated.

She had never known a willing union or touch of love, such as the brindle spoke of. Only violence, subjugation, force. Aerin could not imagine that she was ready to jump so suddenly into the thick of things, even with the objects of her devotion, let alone with two people at once. Quite simply, the skittish healer balked. 

"Ye...flatter me," the fae lilted haltingly, rasp stilling as she swallowed around the guilt that came with refusing him and the suddenly heavy acceptance of what could never be. She let her moonlight gaze linger wistfully on the warlord's rakish features a moment longer, as if to commit this to memory -- the last time she let herself love him. Perhaps once. Perhaps in another time, in another life. But he was not meant for her. 

"But I am nae ready fer such a thing...I 'ope ye understand," the sylph demurred in soft murmurs of regret as she stood and moved to touch her pink nose to his cheek once more, allowing a breath of Donav's scent to wisp headily into her lungs before moving away towards the treeline. "If an' vhen I give my body to another, it vill only be done in an act of love," were the words she left him with as she exhaled the cologne of him. There was much to process and she felt the need to be alone -- she did not feel that he would try to stop her, for they both knew well that he did not love her with the same measure of fidelity.

this was actually kinda sad for me to write. T.T