Noctisardor Bypass How would it ever get me by?

It was becoming increasingly obvious to Anselm that no one in Rivenwood was his friend. There was Etienne — but even he thought nothing of leaving Anselm without a word. 

He reflected on Sleepy Fox Hollow. On the nights spent in the cold — waiting for a brother who would never return. There had been no one those first few months but Etienne. They’d shared an estranged brotherhood, staking out their bitter survival against all odds. 

And now he was in the familiar position of being left behind. A coldness seeped into Anselm’s blood, chilling his expression. 

Druid’s former irritation rankled Anselm so badly that for a long time, he was quiet.  He didn’t feel gracious. He didn’t feel kind. Where was the woman who, just days before, had handled him so tactfully? Was it because she thought she had seen him and Heda…?

He knew if Druid hadn’t intervened, that he would have followed his dark impulses. And he knew, in a way, it was Heda being used just as much as he. But nothing happened; their meet ended the moment Druid had seen them. Did she not understand? 

Moreover, did it even matter? Anselm learned the only thing that mattered was everyone else’s interpretations of things. It didn’t matter what really happened. It mattered what they believed. Etienne believed he was taken advantage of. He and Druid believed that Anselm and Heda were in a tryst. 

This did not even begin to address the prickle of malcontent to have someone voice aloud that Etienne loved him. He’d known this subconsciously for a long time. He’d ignored clear suggestions alluding to it, both from Etienne and from himself.  He even went so far as to repress his own thoughts the moment they ventured close to the convoluted territory that was the secret matter of his own deeply distorted and terrified heart. 

Anselm refused to acknowledge Druid’s request. He rose, feeling sick and knowing there was no returning. Adrenaline burned the corners of his mouth, and the world seemed muggy. Only Druid remained in crystalline focus. Vhere did he go?