Sun Mote Copse It’s been a long day without you, my friend.

Njord’s expectation to act as Meerkat’s rock was suddenly unnecessary. When his wife received the news she was clear-headed – elated to hear that their son was alive, no matter his estrangement from kin. It was enough to know he had survived the bear and his grievous injuries. It was enough to know there was air in his lungs and fresh blood in his heart.

It was enough.

Should have been enough.

Then why wasn’t it enough?

Njord felt the knife of guilt twist in his side. Why weren’t his eyes clear like Meerkat’s? Why were his first words to Towhee why wouldn’t he come?

If he were human, Njord would have sunken down until he laid his head in Meerkat’s lap with his arms wrapped around her waist. Meerkat reasoned Swordfish’s behavior. Objectively, it made sense.

But his heart ached.

Njord's mind began to spin up a story. It felt like history was repeating itself. Once upon a time, Sobo had disowned his father. Maybe, rightfully so. He wished for their relationship to be nothing more than that between two pack-mates. Njord never wanted to grieve a loss like that again. There was something surreal about standing beside your living, breathing son… but having him look at you, on his own accord, without an ounce of love. It was like standing beside a corpse. A once-was. An intrusive and selfish thought ran through Njord’s mind… that he’d rather be dead than experience antipathy from a son like that again.

He grit his teeth. “She didnae say,” Njord answered her. “I think for fear we’d go after ‘im.” Njord realized he had become reticent. “Ah’m sorry… I thought you’d be…” Destroyed. Like me. “Verrae upset.” Njord realized he needed Meerkat a lot more than she needed him right now. Maybe Towhee should’ve gone to Meerkat first, he thought morbidly.

“Towhee told me that Swordfish said he killed the bear for ye,” he added.

But not for Njord.

And so it kept hunting him and all his thoughts.