Blackbeak Bluff And I'll never be alone

Sequoia, still a child, still occasionally had trouble separating reality from tall tales. This happened to be one of those times, and she was thankful when—instead of answering her question—Wraen reminded her that the Catawampus was nothing more than a story. Likely a story used to keep children from wandering off too far from home. Sequoia put on her brave adult face, took a deep breath, and nodded knowingly.

Just a kids’ tale! she said, more for herself than for the wolf who had introduced her to the hellish creature (imaginary or not, the mere thought of the Catawampus was likely to haunt her dreams). She wondered what other scary stories Wraen had up her sleeve, but she knew that she should also probably head back to Drageda soon. Getting home before nightfall was absolutely necessary.

Hey! Do you want to walk with me back to Drageda? We can keep talking on the way, and I’ll bet if you wanted to stay, the leaders would let you. Okay, so she did not really know that, but Sequoia liked to think she was Drageda’s youngest and most prolific recruiter. And hey, Wraen seemed like just the kind of wolf that Sequoia wanted around to be her friend. Even if Wraen didn’t want to stay, the company on the walk back home would be appreciated.

"I am not sure about staying, but sure - I can walk with you," Wraen agreed, getting to her feet and following Sequoia's lead towards Drageda, eager to see, where this mysterious pack was located. And, who knew, maybe, when she had made up her mind of, what she wanted to do with her life, this could be it. The kind of home that would fit her perfectly. 

"Speaking about those imaginary beasts... keep in mind that they are real as long as you believe them to be such," she began, choosing her words carefully. "Our minds do not always generate straight-forward ideas, often, when they lack the right sources, they use other and create an approximate reflection of that idea or a metaphor of that thought," she was getting in deep waters, but she wanted to give Sequoia something that would help her deal with such fear as she had had earlier from talking about the cat-vampire. 

"As a simple example... I have slight difficulties seeing clearly in the distance and few days ago I was in the fields and was perplexed by a dark object carried by the wind. The first impression was that it was something very alive and possibly dangerous. A ghost was the second guess and I was afraid as well," she laughed, "but, when I inspected it, it was still an odd object, but nothing alive or that could threaten me. The moral of the story or any other, do not be quick at making assumptions, be smart, do your own investigation and form your own opinion. Fear can't touch you, if your mind is clear."

Even if Wraen did not decide to make Drageda her home, Sequoia would at least be able to show her where it was. Maybe she could come back another time and she would change her mind! Even if that didn’t happen, maybe Wraen could come visit and they could still swap stories. Seq wasn’t quite sure what the policy was on visitors... but perhaps it would be like with Dalia. They could hang out just outside Drageda, or at least they could start there and head off somewhere else for the day. Maybe Wraen could even show her lands far beyond what she’d seen before! Sequoia’s imagination certainly did have a propensity to go wild. That was likely the reason she had momentarily been frightened by the Catawampus.

With Wraen in tow, the piebald Goufa began to make her way back to Drageda. Already the sky was beginning to dim slightly, and she realized she had stayed out a bit longer than she had planned. In any case, she and Wraen would make it back before nightfall as long as they kept up a decent pace.

Her ears were swiveled slightly backward toward her new traveling companion, sopping up all the information that was being given to her. Later that night, she would be reminded of this conversation as she was speaking to Daddy Dio about nightmares and dreams. It was such an odd idea that adults might be afraid of things, too. Sequoia had always thought them incapable of fear, but learning that they could experience fright was a new one on her. Maybe being afraid was not such a childish thing after all, and that comforted her to some degree.

So the adult thing to do is get over the fear, she (quite maturely, in her opinion) replied. A child might continue to be afraid, but what separated the men from the boys (or the women from the girls, in this case) was the ability to look past the irrational spooks and realize that imaginary things couldn’t hurt you.

"Yes and no. "Get over fear" is something easier said than done. Because fear is an emotion that has several sources and layers. It can be a fear that is born out of aversion. For example, I do not like snakes. I really do not and avoid them at all costs. I even can't stand seeing someone eating them. On the other hand, this is something that does not hinder my everyday life," Wraen went on explaining, finding it difficult to convey her ideas in fewer, better chosen words. 

"Fear is also a way we learn. Being fearless and therefore needlessly reckless is never good. But, when you look at this emotion in greater detail, you can take out something that would work for you and keep you out of trouble. Cautiousness is the same fear, except you do not let it take over you, but rein it in with a rational mind and reasoning," she said. "It's like an alarm signal you take notice of and then go to investigate."

Wraen took the time to explain her position on such matters, which Sequoia naturally took as one hundred percent Real Truth™️. Sequoia also did not like snakes, although she could not remember why that was the case. She felt like they were to be avoided at all costs. Perhaps for the same reason cats were to be avoided: because she had been instructed to do so at some point. Both creatures screamed “danger” to the piebald girl’s mind. Those were real things, and her parents had instructed her to be afraid of cats and avoid them, unlike the imaginary (she reminded herself yet again) Catawampus, which was purely fiction.

Cautiousness was also brought up, and Sequoia drank up the information like a dehydrated camel finding an oasis for the first time in weeks. She tried to comprehend everything that was being said to her, although it was quite likely that some of it was going in one ear and out the other. Still, she grasped at each and every word trying to retain it. I don’t like snakes, either. I think they might be like cats, where Daddy Dio and Momma Portia told me to stay away from them. She could not recall ever being told to stay away from them, but the same feeling arose in her when she thought about the elongated, scaled creatures.

Does that mean I should be cautious around them? And cats, too? Sequoia had never encountered either of those things directly (one of her parents was usually quick to intervene at the first hint of danger), but she imagined the more she struck out on her own, the more likely it was that she would encounter something to be cautious around.

Thank you for the kudos! It is a pleasure to have threads with you!

"Something like that, yeah," Wraen nodded in agreement. "I don't like snakes, because I can't wrap my mind around the fact that there is a creature in this world, that can move around and does not have a single pair of legs," she shuddered, recalling an encounter with a snake, which had been sunbathing on a rock and had fled in the water the moment it had caught sight of the wolf. The fact that these animals dwelled not only on the ground, but also in water, made her uneasy and for few days, she inspected thoroughly every single water source, before taking a drink. Speak about teaching others, when Wraen hadn't had any bad encounter with these reptiles. She simply did not like them and her mind did the rest.

"Cautious - definitely, and run, if you have to. Just keep in mind that not all snakes and cats are out in the world to get you. Same for other creatures. They have 99% of other stuff in life to deal with and their interest in you is minimal, unless provoked," she said. "Want to hear the fun thing about all this? When I was small and I was afraid of darkness, my mom taught me to imagine that I am the worst possible creature anyone could meet in the forest. And... for me as a kid, it helped. Even nowadays, it does sometimes."

Sequoia was surprised—although she should not have been—to learn that most creatures wanted nothing to do with her. In her young mind, she was the Most Important Person in the world. She imagined that every scary thing was out to get her, and everything else in the world was there to help her in some way. Idly, she wondered what things she might do to provoke a snake or a cat. Look at them wrong? Get to close? Call them a “toot?” There were so many ways she could think of to provoke them, she wondered if she had already done it without realizing. She certainly knew how to provoke her siblings into a frenzy when she really wanted to.

Wraen’s story about her mother’s suggestion delighted Sequoia, especially since it fed right into her “I’m the center of the universe” world view. It hadn’t really occurred to Sequoia until now that adults had mothers and fathers, too. Did that mean her own parents had a Momma Portia and a Daddy Dio out there somewhere? This was quite a puzzling question, as she had not heard them mentioned that she could recall. Maybe she just hadn’t been paying attention at the right time.

Does your momma live nearby? she asked. Sequoia had seen one of her sisters leave, and she wondered if Wraen had left her momma, too. Suddenly the thought of recruiting her seemed much sadder. Would that mean that Sequoia was taking her away from her family? Is that why Dalia had decided to leave? Would she want to leave someday if somebody asked her to? Those were tough questions, and Sequoia was definitely not ready to answer them.

"Oh, no, not very close, but I often wish that she was," Wraen replied, when she fondly recalled Osprey and Dante and the time she had spent together with them. They were wonderful people and, looking back at everything that had happened to her in the past few months, she thought that life would have been a lot easier, if they had been there for her to ask for advice, when things had not gone well and as intended. Perhaps, this all was for the best anyway. Part of becoming an adult not just in years, but in mind too. 

"My former home is located in a lovely forest down South. It is everything that a home should be. A happy place," she said, knowing well that she spoke out of reminiscence of her childhood and teenage years, and that, if she were to return there now, everything would look differently. "I assume that all of your family is in Drageda, right?" she asked.

Last one from me today.

Sequoia thought it sad that Wraen's mother did not live nearby, and even more sad that Wraen seemed to be disheartened by it. The piebald girl wondered what had made her leave or if for some reason her parents had told her to go. She furrowed her brow, trying to think of any reason she might leave Drageda and go somewhere else, but she drew a blank. Her home was the best, and she was quite proud to live there and be a part of it. She still could not understand why Dalia had left (or any other wolf who had come and gone).

Sirio left before I can remember, and Dalia left, too. Why did you leave home if it was nice and happy there? she asked, tilting her head to one side as she walked on toward Drageda. Maybe Wraen could be like her mother and come to Drageda and be a mother with... well, somebody. She knew that wolves did occasionally join their ranks, and Sequoia thought Drageda was a happy place. It was everything a home was meant to be, in her opinion (which was the correct opinion).

Wraen decided to keep the irreconcilable differences between her and her sister Sarah as well as a love affair gone entirely wrong as her two main motivators as a secret. Sequoia would not understand and these were such old events that it did not seem right to stir the coffin and wake the dead inside. Truth to be told, she had not thought about either - her sister and that particular fellow - that she had left behind for a long time. And curiously enough, it did not bother her anymore either. She could see, where she had been wrong better, and at this point she had moved on already.

"Ummm... my siblings had tried that out and after a while I decided that I want to see the world as well. The feeling was akin to longing for something that I did not have with my family, but that was definitely somewhere outside," she tried to explain as best she could, which was hard to do, if the person had not experienced the same thing. "Maybe it was the same for your siblings? I mean, not all of us can stay with our parents forever, some of us have to move on."

The notion of leaving Drageda still made no sense to Sequoia, even as Wraen explained that she had sort of followed in the footsteps of her siblings. Dalia and Sirio had left, but Sequoia still could not imagine doing as much. Leaving Momma Portia and Daddy Dio seemed downright crazy. She decided right then and there that she would be like Blixen and Artaax and stay wherever she was born. This piebald girl would not leave home, no matter what.

Blixen and Artaax stayed, Sequoia noted skeptically. They had stayed, and it had been good for them. Blixen was the Commander now, and Artaax was also well-respected. Sequoia did wish to be well-respected, she knew that much. Leaving home did not sound like a good way to do that. In fact, it seemed like it would be quite the opposite. The adults did not seem to like it when wolves left, although Thur had been a markedly different story. She’d had a reason to go, and Sequoia had always assumed she would be back at some point. She did not remember the Heda very well, but she did know Drageda belonged to the mysterious strong woman.

I guess it’s okay if other wolves wanna leave, since sometimes we let others live with us. They gotta come from somewhere. Other wolves leaving their homes was fine. She wasn’t too keen on the wolves of Drageda leaving, though. It was the Very Best Place. Why would anybody ever want to leave?

"For some people it works that way. I was a homebody once too," Wraen could easily relate to, how Sequoia was feeling about leaving home. Up until she had been a year and a half old (maybe less), she too had never thought about leaving. She had loved her parents, adored her younger siblings and did her best to spend time with them, teaching and learning. Were it not for other reasons, she imagined she could have been still be with them.

Something in that family structure had worked way better than it had in Moonspear or Sunspire. Maybe because Dante and Osprey had never expected an iron-clad loyalty from her, never made her feel indebted to them and their kindness had not cost anything, she had not had to prove that she was doing well and was worth something to anyone, she had never had to run herself into the ground to provide. She had been free in her choices and comittments. All of this she had not found in either of the packs she had called her "new home" for a while, and for this reason she was reluctant to join a different pack readily, fearing that she might walk in the same trap all over again.

"I think that for some of our kind wanderlust is in their blood. It's a call they cannot refuse," she said and then suddenly asked, "ever heard about sirens?"

Sequoia wanted to ask what had made Wraen change her mind, but she didn’t press her, assuming it was just the “me too!” sentiment she’d gotten when her siblings had gone off. The piebald girl hadn’t felt that, and she wondered if Dacio or Opalia had felt that way after watching Dalia leave. Dacio seemed the most upset about it, so maybe he would be the most inclined to follow in their older siblings’ footsteps. Opalia... well, Sequoia wasn’t sure. Her sister was an enigma to her, seemingly keeping to herself and not much for talking about anything, let alone feelings, thoughts, or plans.

As they moved gradually closer to Drageda, Wraen asked if she had ever heard of sirens. What’s that? she asked, making her answer obvious. She could not recall hearing the word before, and she wondered if it was another sneaky insult she could throw at Dacio and/or Opalia.

"They are mythical creatures that live in the sea," Wraen explained, recalling an old story Osprey had told her. "They have the most beautiful songs in the world and they sing to lure people in the sea, where they meet their deaths and they collect their souls," it was not the most accurate retelling of the Ancient Greek myths, each person, who had passed the information on, had added and taken a way something. And after two generations, sometimes one the details had changed so much that they hardly bore any resemblance of the original.

"I recall my mom telling me about an actual pack, which ran by the name Sirensong cove, if I am not mistaken. And it was located far away from the Flightless falcons - that's, where my mother was born and raised - but it was ruled by sirens or wolves, who worshipped ancient gods The Sea and The Moon, I think, and who did not hold in high regard male wolves," she said, trying to portray the said group as accurately as she remembered from that one time, when Osprey had talked about it. "And their names were related to the sea as well, but I do not know, whether mom said anything about them singing though and stealing souls," she finished with a light-hearted chuckle.

#40 in this thread, wowee!

Sequoia listened, bit by bit, as Wraen explained what sirens were. Living by the sea sounded nice. Singing beautiful songs sounded really nice, but the part about killing and collecting souls sounded... far less appealing to the Goufa. Seq’s eyes widened, again forgetting that these creatures were mere fantasy and not flesh and blood. This was even more pronounced when Wraen went on to explain that there was an actual pack of wolves that were called sirens. It was the stuff of nightmares for the piebald girl, and she swallowed hard, trying not to let it scare her too much. What were the odds of her running into this pack, anyway?

She let out a whooshing sigh when Wraen explained that they hadn’t stolen any souls, although Sequoia had hoped that they would sing pretty songs. Maybe she could have tracked them down and listened... even learned how to sing from them. Then again, what use was singing to a wolf? Probably only helpful if she planned on stealing souls.

There was another tidbit in there that Wraen had only glossed over, but Sequoia was rather curious about it. Why didn’t they like boys? she asked, glancing over to Wraen as they continued their journey back to Drageda. With everything that Wraen seemed to know, Seq was certain that she would be a great addition to the pack.

Sequoia is so nice that I start to think that Wraen will have to join Drageda if only to make her happy. :)

"Beats me, they had children somehow," Wraen shrugged, because this part had always puzzled her. There was a certain appeal in the idea of a top secret girl's only club, but she had met many lovely individuals of the opposite sex that she simply did not think it being fair for their value to be judged by gender only. "They had them in the pack, but either they were on the lowest tier of the hierarchy or they kicked them out early. Especially male born puppies," she said the tone of her voice indicating that she was not a particular fan of this kind of world order. 

"I think though, that every pack has it's quirk makes them unique - the sirens did not like men, Drageda has it's own language, Moonspear - that's a pack, where I lived once - is very adamant on their wolves being loyal to their graves, Blackfeather woods - well, if you ask me, their name of choice already implies that they are up to no good," she mused. "I believe that even Sunspire - that's, where I lived recently - had something peculiar about it. I was simply not aware of it then," she laughed at the irony, because Terance and Rannoch, even the firecracker Liffey were as normal as regular as one could get.

"Am I among the first people you meet outside your pack or there have been others as well?" she asked.

Wraen mentioned children, which was a subject Sequoia only barely knew anything about. She knew that they appeared around spring or summer, just as she had. She had never really stopped to think that you needed both a boy and a girl to make them. In fact, she had never really stopped to think about where children came from at all. Just as soon as that thought slipped into her head, though, it slipped out as Wraen continued talking, and the question of the birds and the bees would remain unanswered for the time being.

She went on to list packs Sequoia had never heard of. It sounded as though Wrane had lived in a lot of different places, which was quite perplexing to the Goufa. She had only ever lived with Drageda, and bouncing around that much sounded downright awful to her. There was on pack in particular that caught her attention, and she put a pin in it to ask Wraen after she answered the next question posed.

I met Buckshot! I recruited him. Sequoia would have elaborated more, but that thread hasn’t finished yet, so I’m not quite sure of the outcome, whoops! Moonspear, the one who wanted loyalty until you were dead... how did you leave? What do they do if you aren’t loyal anymore? she asked. Would they try to hunt Wraen down? Sequoia knew that Dalia had left Drageda, but she didn’t think anybody would try to hunt her down. Even if they found her, what would they do? Drag her back?

"The world is a small place after all - I met the same guy few weeks ago," Wraen exclaimed in surprise, but could not recall anything else about the encounter. He had let her retrieve the rat she had intended to catch and he had been first to grab it. That and his name was all she remembered about Buckshot-persona.

"Well, we became their public enemies No.1," she explained the old and unpleasant history between her family and the Moonspear clan. Even after all this time, when most of the emotions had calmed down and all the nasty thoughts and words aimed at either of the parties, it was still evident in her voice that she did not like her former pack much.  

"They took it as a personal insult, deemed us traitors, when in reality we were not fit to be in their ranks anymore and the place had long ceased to be home," she said. "They thought that we were forever indebted to them for being accepted in their ranks, but I never saw it that way. I did not lose much after I left, but my brother lost some very good and close friends. They turned on to him and burned all bridges," she went on. 

"I do not value such people much - who stop being friends for such a stupid reason as moving elsewhere."

Sequoia, for whatever reason, was not surprised when Wraen said that she had also met Buckshot. He just seemed like the kind of guy who knew everybody and got along with them. Sequoia had confirmed it was true with her, so it must’ve been true for everybody he met. She hoped that he could stay with Drageda forever, but now she wondered if maybe he would be like Wraen and float around from pack to pack. That thought made her frown, but maybe he would like Drageda enough to stay. Sequoia certainly liked it enough to stay.

Wraen explained the Moonspear fiasco, and Seq had a hard time imagining that. What did public enemy even mean? It sounded like Wraen and her friends had lost some of their friends there, but that didn’t seem so bad. Sequoia had thought it would be much worse. Then again, losing Kiwi or Buckshot as a friend did sound pretty bad.

My sister Dalia left, Sequoia said, wanting to add something to the conversation, but she’s still my friend. I haven’t seen her since then, though. She wondered where Dalia was now. Did Dalia still consider her a friend? Now there was some food for thought.

"Well, try to imagine, that Dalia left and you hated her for that ever since. Then you will see, what Moonspear wolves did to us," Wraen trying to give Sequoia perspective on, why she personally did no view Ostrega family and the rest of their followers very favourably. "It is unreasonable and even worse is the fact that they fail to see it that way," she added, while realizing that just maybe Charon would have not felt so strongly, had not her mother been a very good friend of his. Maybe he had taken Wraen as Osprey's replacement, which she could never be. She shared character traits with her, even looks were similar, but they were not the same people. Would never be. 

"But few months later I was faced with a similar situation in my own pack and it took a lot of self-restraint not go all-Moonspear on them. I have to admit that I did not act much differently from them, but I find solace in the fact that I recently made peace with those people," she said, meaning Seabreeze. Ironically, all it took to set things right was meeting face to face, getting to know both sides of the story and realize that she did not hate her former in-law at all. That she was a nice person and that Sunspire had simply not worked for her just the same way it had not later worked out for Wraen too.

Sequoia thought of Kiwi then, and how angry she had been that Bat left. Even then, she could not understand why Kiwi had been so very mad about the situation. She knew the two of them had been close, but Sequoia couldn't imagine being angry for something like that. If Kiwi had left, she would be sad, but being angry just made no sense to her. Sequoia was one hundred percent on Wraen's side for this argument, which didn't make it much of an argument at all... just musing about others, which Sequoia figured was gossip (something she very much enjoyed, by the way). Kiwi being mad at her sister for leaving was probably her only flaw, so Seq was willing to look past that.

Wraen explained that even she had gotten wrapped up in a situation where she was angry with others for leaving her, which surprised Sequoia. Perhaps it was only recently that she had ever been the one left, rather than the one leaving. That's nice that you made up with them, Sequoia commented. My friend Kiwi was mad that her sister left... but I think I managed to calm her down. I think I might want to help other people like that, too. I cheered my brother up the other day when he was sad about Dalia leaving.

"It's always better to have more friends than enemies - that is, what I learned from both situations," Wraen summed up the lesson. She could not promise herself that she would never make the same mistake and not feel hurt for someone dear and important either leaving or abandoning her, but she would try her best not to forget the past. 

"I understand that you are a part of a big family then?" she asked, not recalling, whether the girl had said much about other members of her group or not.

She couldn't agree with that more. Having friends was way better than having enemies. Then again, Sequoia was pretty sure she didn't have any enemies. Her litter mates weren't exactly her friends, but it wasn't like she hated them. She just didn't exactly like them. They were boring and childish, two things she knew that she was not. Seq was an adult, dagnabbit! At that thought, she kicked a ball of snow with her front foot and watched as it scooted across the ground, making a small indented line where it had taken a path atop the freshly-fallen snow.

Wraen asked about her family, and Sequoia shrugged. All of Drageda is my family, she replied, but she was pretty sure that wasn't exactly what Wraen was asking. I have a brother and a sister who were born with me, and I have an older brother I've never met and then there's Dalia. Momma Portia and Daddy Dio, too. If she had more blood-related family, she was unaware of it. Little did she know she shared blood with some of Wifi's children. She was also wholly unaware that her father had a plethora of children who were conceived before he had even arrived in Drageda.

"That's nice," Wraen replied. "I have two siblings of the same age - Terance, who lives now in Lost Creek hollow and had two very lovely children this year, there is Sarah, who - last I heard - is leading the pack alongside my father Dante and is quite good at it," she told her family history, stopping briefly at each of the members. "And I have three younger siblings - one of which is traveling with me. Her name is Maia and I have a feeling that, if you met her, you two would get along. And a younger brother Coriander and Cassandra. The latter two I saw last, when they were just a little babies," and now and then she wondered, how they had turned out and how great it would be to meet them two again. 

"And the youngest - they were born this year - I have not met, but I believe that they are just as awesome as the rest of the Redleaf folk," she finished.

Wraen explained her own family, and Sequoia bobbed her head along as they walked nearer to Drageda. She knew it wasn't far away now, and she wondered if maybe Wraen might change her mind about joining now that they'd had all this good conversation along the way. Even if she did not try to become a recruit today, Sequoia still thought it rather likely that Wraen would come back at a later time. They just had such a good thing going between them! Wishful thinking, but who was to say that was a bad thing?

The names that Wraen spoke mostly went in one ear and out the other. They weren't particularly crazy names, so she didn't question their meanings or anything like that. She did wonder what her own siblings would be called when they came into the world. That also brought another question: how would Sequoia react when her parents decided to get more kids (and how did that happen, anyway?) Sequoia wasn't sure if little kids would be any more fun that her litter mates were. Maybe they would be even more boring, and that thought made her twist up her mouth in a frown just thinking about it.

Where does Maia live? Does she travel around with you to all the different packs? In Sequoia's head, Wraen was constantly on the move from one place to another. Maybe her sister was the same, and that's why they were still friends. Was Dalia still her friend, even though she hadn't seen her in so long?