Arrow Lake Goodbye is the hardest part

ok here we go! This is probably one of the saddest thread ill ever write but this is goodbye for now fam! Its been a real slice (as Takiyok says)…

If possible I would like to keep the number of people in this thread to a minimum, but of course this is pack territory so you have full reign of this lone wolf thread.

@Mahler @Stigmata @Takiyok
Back dated to April 12/19

This was it. He could feel the pit in his stomach boiling as he ventured closer and closer to the land that his sister occupied. After their last encounter he wouldn’t be surprised if she ran him off herself. Today was surprisingly a good day. Since being reunited with Nanook the man had felt an ease settle over him, and a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. For the first time in months he felt like himself again, instead of the shadow that had haunted the earth.

He paused, deeming his approach close enough. Nanook had set off already, knowing that this was something he needed to do alone. While she missed Takiyok, Siarut knew that she would be upset with Nanook for dragging her beloved brother away. It was better that this conversation was simply between the two of them.

A tremor rippled his heavy frame, and he took a deep breath. Lifting his head gracefully that man called out to his sister, and his closest family. His song rang clear through the mountainous territory, reverberating of the barren rocks before settling into a silence that was deafening to the ear.

The howl woke her from her deep slumber; it was a call she knew well, and her ears flattened in response. She didn't want to see Sia; he had hurt her again, and she wasn't sure she wanted to hear whatever it was he wanted to say. But as she lied there in the quiet darkness of the den, the steady breathing of her children the only sound breaking through the silence, she started to lose her resolve. She supposed she couldn't just let him stand at the borders at the mercy of the pack who would have no idea who he was to her. 

So, she slowly got to her feet, careful not to wake the sleeping bearcubs, and quietly padded outside. She emerged from the den, almost running into the Kapitän on his way past the entrance. He agreed to stay with the children while she went to talk to Sia, and after offering him a few words of gratitude, she took off for the borders. 

She felt only despair as she came upon the tense form of her brother. She stopped in front of him, fixing him with a cold gaze rather than greeting him with her usual affection. Yes? she said, the word clipped and heavy with the lingering anger from their last meeting. What could he possibly want from her now.

cameo! skip me at will

mere moments after takiyok's departure, stigmata arrived only to be told that she had already gone to answer the call for her. he had come to relieve her of childcare duties, but now found himself more eager to spend some time with her outside of that realm entirely. he couldn't remember the last time they had hunted together, and he wondered if he could coerce her into absconding before inevitably returning to their parental posts.

the general loped steadily after her, and after picking up his pace towards the end, arrived onto the scene almost immediately after her. he did not recognize the white wolf that diaspora's pionier greeted with such cold recognition, but his own nose told him that this was blood of his blood, and therefore merely unwelcome judging by takiyok's behavior. if he was actually somehow a threat, then she would have rallied against him already.

remaining at bay - standing just inside the treeline beyond them - he seemed to only be there for physical support should she need it, otherwise observing their interaction in a distantly interested fashion.

She was quick to arrive, and of course Siarut noticed first was her figure or lack there off. He had new nephews and nieces, he smiled softly. It hurt him, the coldness in her tone and lack of greeting. Yet he knew he deserved it, perhaps this would be easier for her, if she didn’t care she couldn't be hurt.

Looking over her shoulder at the man that had followed her, he could feel a protective urge. He didn’t know this man, and his scent lingered on the pelt of his dearest sister. What settled Sia was the fact that this stranger was clearly here to protect Takiyok. From himself. Instead of relying on his nature to run the man off, Siarut simply dipped his head, acknowledging and in fact appreciating his presence. She might need a friend after he had left.

“Takiyok.” He started taking a small step forward, and met her fiery gaze. Hell had apparently frozen over. A small sigh escaped, and he frowned, brow scrunching as he tried to hold his resolve.

“I’m leaving Tak.” He spoke softly, but resolved to hold her gaze. A deep sadness seeped into his words, and he tried his best to hide the grief of leaving her here, alone. With the stranger near he had no intention of showing weakness, but now, now he wasn’t sure he could hold that promise.

He suddenly wished that Nanook were at his side, offering her strength. The strength that was slowly leaving him, as he waited for hear what his Malġuk had to say.

In her haste to make it to the borders, she hadn't realized the general was following, but her brother's nod had her sending a quick glance in his direction. She didn't necessarily need his protection, especially not from her family, but she was glad for his strong, steady presence all the same. It was similar to how she used to feel with Sia--safe and accepted. But now her brother only made her feel the opposite; she now only felt resentment and disappointment. She had trusted him more than anyone, and he had broken her heart. She was having trouble not yelling all her feelings at him, but she held back; it wouldn't help anyway. 

When he stepped towards her, she retreated away from him a few steps, ears flattening in anger, her message clear: don't touch me. She didn't think she could bear any affection from him; she was just too angry. 

When he spoke again, she didn't quite process the words at first. She stared at him, numb and afraid to let herself really understand what he meant. But then anger broke through the numbness, seizing her body and forcing her to deal with yet another heartbreak from her big brother. She released a snort and shook her head, eyes filled with anguish when she finally met his gaze. Of course you are, she said. That's what you do best. It was maybe a little cruel to say, but she didn't care. Frankly, she was exhausted; she couldn't do this with him anymore--it just hurt too much, and he couldn't keep showing up in her life and decimating her like this.

His heart almost stopped at the pain that flared, she retreated from him, and looked ready to attack him. Even if she did, he wouldn’t stop her, he figured it was retribution for the things he had done to her. And he knew what he had done, the pain he surely must have caused. It seemed in their life it was always him leaving her. Yet he couldn’t help the pride that flourished looking at all she had become without him there to guide her. She was a strong and powerful woman, who didn’t need her big brother to protect her.

His throat caught, and he cleared his throat, “I suppose you are right.” He couldn’t bare to look at her, simply nodding. “Despite everything that I have done to you, you have always been my dearest sister. This is the least of all you deserve. I love you Takiyok.” He offered her a smile, and assumed that his presence was no longer necessary nor wanted. He turned away, intent on leaving her in peace, to forget about her disappointing older brother.

When she had been born, Siarut had promised to look out for her. He knew now that he had never fulfilled his promise, he had always failed her. And now, she could finally be free of him.

His surrender to her harsh assessment only made her feel worse, which only made her even angrier. She didn't want to hear that he loved her; she wanted an explanation and a promise to be there to help raise her children--his niece and nephews. But all she got were empty words, empty to her anyway, because there were no actions to back them up. If he loved her, then why was he leaving?

He turned away from her, and the part of her that loved him because he was Sia, the big brother she had always looked up to, wanted to call out for him to stop and come back so that they could work this out, but she refrained. How could they work this out? He seemed pretty set on leaving, so set that he hadn't even come to her for help or advice in whatever was causing him to feel like he needed to go. And she harbored far too much anger for this to be settled with just one conversation. No, he would need to be present in her life in order for her to move past this, and it was clear that wasn't an option for him. 

So she didn't stop him; she watched him leave yet again, knowing the sight of his disappearing form would be etched into her memory forever. Her legs felt weak, and she dropped into a sitting position, unable to tear her eyes away from the spot where her brother's large, white form had once been. How could things have ended this way?

OK THEN! Lol, not what I was expecting but then again I never get what I’m expecting with Takiyok.

There was an inkling of him that wished for her to reach out, to feel as though she needed him. As if anyone needed him. But just as swiftly the idea vanished. Takiyok was strong enough to stand on her own, and she no longer needed anyone to be the strong woman he had always seen coming.

One day he knew he would need to make amends for everything he had done. But at this very moment, he wasn’t strong enough to retell his last few months alone. The very idea of revealing his deepest weakness was still to fresh to imagine. No, having his sister hate him was much easier to digest.

He couldn’t help throwing one final glance over his shoulder at Takiyok, at least offering her one last heart felt smile. Picking up the pace, he jogged a little ways from the pack territory, before pausing and calling out to Nanook, offering on last howl to the Wilds that he knew he would miss. But for now, for now, he was ready to return home, to the Arctic Tundra that ran through his veins.

I'll leave this open for a little while in case van wants to reply with stig <3

After a few moments, his call reached her ears, and she lifted her muzzle to the sky to release a sorrowful howl. His call had almost sounded hopeful, but hers was heavy with the heartbreak caused by his departure. She gave the spot from which he had disappeared one last somber glance before getting to her feet and turning from the borders to head back to the children. She would feel less empty once she was curled around them again.

She avoided the general's gaze as she moved, not wanting him to see how close she was to tears; she could somewhat calm herself down on her way back to the den, and only when she was alone would she allow herself to succumb to the grief.

the exchange between siblings happened so quickly, that if it weren't for the intensity of their interaction, stigmata wouldn't have been sure it had happened at all. he could see how hurt takiyok was, but there was no stretch of his imagination that could save her from this moment. there were no words or actions he could make to heal her, and a distraction would only keep her from the inevitable weight for a short time. and that was not nearly long enough.

though the general wanted very much to chase her sorrows away, he knew he didn't have that kind of power - so he let her go to grieve on her own, knowing the company of their children would settle her best. he stayed behind to make sure all traces of siarut within several miles of diaspora were erased, and returned to provide takiyok with some company and half a fresh muskrat only when he was done.