Redsand Canyon cactus fruit

aw for mereo!

it was foreign to be without work.

in the palace, satsu had given her endless tasks. cruel tasks. here no one ordered her. no one seemed to need anything.

tamar struggled with that.

today she spread rabbitskins on the bed inside the den she shared with arsenio. the medical treatments of the matrona had ended her cough. she sat upon the mattress and stared at the entrance, unable not to think of akashingo.

"Tamar?" Ruenna called softly, approaching the only occupied den in the married-housing section of dorms. Ruenna clutched the ingredients for Tamar's cough syrup in her mouth. Best-case scenario, the herbs would go unused, if Tamar was feeling better as the Matrona hoped. 

The fact that married-housing even existed at all in Mereo was a small wonder; Germanicus had compromised significantly on his original concept of Mereo in order to incorporate Ruenna's ideas and make her feel comfortable here. Although he was reserved with his physical affection, it could not be denied that Germanicus was indulgent of his wife and wished to see her pleased.

"matrona."

tamar was off the bed and bowing as ruenna entered the small room. it was still quite austere, nothing to beautify it or perfume the pelts with the fragrance of spring. she had nothing to do but neaten and neaten again. 

tamar fidgeted, not quite sure what to do with herself now that the imperator's wife was close. "in the palace, i kept the queen's apartments. her visitors." the young woman's voice wavered only a little. "i would like to do the same for you. ah, perhaps i could be your assistant?" 

tamar stood ashen and far too aware that she was without a purpose now. or so it felt.

Tamar greeted Rue with her honorific, which was likely how she was used to speaking in Akashingo.

"Ruenna is fine, when it's just the two of us," she said, smiling softly. Germanicus desired for the auxilia to observe more rigid rules of respect, given their expectations around discipline, but Ruenna saw no harm in the civilians becoming more casual with one another. "Or even Rue," she allowed, lifting an eyebrow conspiratorially. 

Tamar wished for the same work she performed for the queen, in Akashingo. That was interesting. Ruenna had wondered if the former lady's maid might aspire to more, now that she was free from the shadow of the Akashingo royalty. 

"That would be very helpful," Ruenna dipped her muzzle gratefully. "Germanicus enjoys his privacy, so I will keep our personal room myself. But I could really use the help with the soldiers' barracks." Ruenna was unsure if what she claimed of Germanicus was strictly true, but it seemed likely enough. Mostly, it just made Ruenna uncomfortable to imagine Tamar keeping house for Redsands, as if she were still a servant. That was not what she wanted for the young woman. 

"Is there any other way you are looking to occupy yourself here in Mereo? Perhaps there is a trade you'd like to develop?" Ruenna would understand Tamar didn't have an answer right away; her life had changed very drastically in a short amount of time. She only wanted to make sure that the young lady knew she had options. She did not have to remain a chambermaid; she could become more, if she desired.

germanicus enjoys his privacy.

tamar thought of their separate beds again. she did not know why it came to mind, except that she had heard the pharaoh call germanicus a feral dog on more than one occasion. perhaps it was true. 

ruenna was speaking — rue. it felt far too strange to address the other as though she were someone without respect. without status. the hierarchy of akashingo had bitten hard into her mind. tamar listened to the question and gave a quick shake of her head, then hesitated.

"my mother kept history. tales. dates. conflicts." her ears splayed uncertainly and then tamar looked up. "i have a head for lorekeeping, if — that is something mereo needs. i am — i can do it, ma — ruenna. well." was this a want? it was something different, she supposed.

the simplicity of clearing bedchambers and freshening them again was more appealing, and yet she felt herself resisting it. with nothing else to say for the present, tamar fell quiet again, though perhaps she was not so shy.

Ruenna was surprised to hear of Tamar's interest in chronicling; it was not often that a wolf so young as her had the patience for such an undertaking. Wolves of Tamar's age so often lived entirely in the present moment, with little attention paid to the future and even less to the past. 

Ruenna wondered if Tamar's reflective nature was what had drawn Arsenio to her. She expected it was a quality that stood out in Akashingo. 

"I think we would all be better for it, if we paid a little more attention to the lessons taught to us by our own pasts. I would be grateful if you kept Mereo's records." Tamar was in a great position to do so, as a former member of Akashingo and founding member of Mereo. She was already in possession of much more knowledge and understanding than Ruenna herself, and it weighed heavy upon her-- Ruenna could tell that much. There was something that burdened the hearts of all of three of the former Akashingo wolves. Ruenna had not yet asked Germanicus for the details of the events surrounding their departure, afraid of reopening such a wound when their marriage was so new. 

There was another role that had so far gone unmentioned: the materfamilias. "Caregiving is also noble pursuit, if you think you might be inclined toward motherhood," Ruenna suggested, tilting her head. They were not yet familiar enough for Ruenna to directly inquire into her and Arsenio's plans, but she mentioned it in case Tamar felt the desire to share on her own. 

"Just make sure you stay busy, whatever you decide.." This was not a crack of the whip, so much as it was survival advice. The presence of citizens in Mereo was not yet accepted by the auxilia; Ruenna had interpreted as much from the soldiers' stony silence and avoidant behavior. Ruenna and Tamar would have to work hard-- just as hard as the soldiers, if not harder-- to prove they deserved their place here within the canyon, including the protection and sustenance that the auxilia provided.

tamar, no longer servant but lorekeeper.

ruenna's faith in her brightened the young wolf somewhat. the matrona was easy to speak with. she was warm in a way that the roman wolf was not. tamar was seized by curiosity over what would bring such seeming opposites together. but it was something she could watch for herself.

caregiving. motherhood. ruenna would see the girl flush as well as a member of their species was able. a soft, surprised laugh. she wanted to tell the other that her contract had involved the provision of children to serve in the palace. but she bit that back. tamar was not sure yet of what ruenna was able to hear.

she did not like that she was mistrustful, but she did not feel pressured to speak. it was an odd feeling. "i had not — considered children. yet. they were — i was unwilling to have them at the palace."

but she was no longer at akashingo. just stay busy. tamar smiled, a genuine if small expression. "i must have things to do here or i will go mad." she met the matrona's eye for a fleeting moment. "i think the pharaoh is wary of your husband," the plebian shared on impulse, leaning forward meaningfully.

Tamar had not wished for children when she resided in Akashingo. This was quite understandable to Ruenna, who could not imagine raising children in such a place. It seemed likely that Tamar would reconsider motherhood now that her circumstances had changed. Even if she neglected to make an active decision, the season would make the decision for her. Tamar would be expecting soon; Ruenna was quite certain. 

"I think the pharaoh is wary of your husband," Tamar emitted, apropos of nothing. 

Ruenna lowered herself gingerly to her haunches, sensing Tamar's desire to talk. It had probably been some time, since she had the opportunity to freely speak her mind in a voice above a whisper.  

Ruenna answered after a brief moment of consideration. "He should be wary. Mereo is positioned to become either Akashingo's greatest asset, or its downfall." Germanicus was everything that Ramesses was not; as soon as the mazoi learned that the Imperator offered the real thing while the Pharaoh offered only smoke and mirrors, Ramesses would be eclipsed.

she might have blushed to hear the matrona's thoughts.

it felt strange and good to be away from the palace, speaking of ramesses as if he had not once owned her. 

ruenna's words rang powerfully in the small space despite the older woman's measured tone. downfall. did the matrona mean to imply that their soldiers would rise against the palace? the thought made her heart race faster.

there came to her mind the memory of a conversation once had. she had not used the information, but it remained tucked into some pocket of thought. tamar came to it now, and unfolded it. "the queen is not of pure wolf's blood."

it hung heavy and damning between them. tamar looked at ruenna now, expelling a breath she felt she had held for months.

The information was surprising to Ruenna, though in hindsight it should not have been. She had noticed that the queen had a rather exotic look and scent on her wedding day, but Ruenna had written that off as just the atmosphere of the whole event. She had never imagined that Ramsesses, who fancied himself a god among wolves, would select anything other than a perfect specimen to wed. 

..Unless he didn't know? 

"Does her husband know this?" Ruenna asked on bated breath. Perhaps Rue was wrong. Perhaps Akashingo would be its own downfall. It certainly seemed likely, while it concealed a secret of this magnitude.

tamar met the woman's eyes.

"i do not know. if he knows then he does not say."

but the girl did not think that a man so arrogant and horrid as ramesses would stand this. "only the queen may give him heirs who are royal. if he — coupled with one of the fellahin, their children would not have standing."

"and her blood is lower than our own."

she had wanted arsenio. she had never forgiven satsu for sending her to the mazoi to seek the knowledge she was too pristine to know.

but that was left unsaid and would be forever.

Ruenna nodded in understanding. "Then I may be wrong. Akashingo may yet be its own undoing." She would not make any comment on the differences between high blood and low. She had her own opinions certainly, but she thought it would serve her best to keep them to herself. Especially since one of Mereo's own was not lupine. 

"Ramesses is only a man," Ruenna reminded Tamar. Perhaps it would be news to her; Ruenna was uncertain of the extent of Tamar's indoctrination. "He is viewed by all outside of Akashingo as just another alpha. Certainly not as a god. The concept of royalty is entirely fabricated. It's a construct to justify a claim to power that is not earned." 

Were Ruenna's words treasonous? Perhaps. She was aware that Mereo ultimately answered to Pharaoh. But this should not mean that they were required to worship him. 

"In Mereo, no child will stand above the others by birth alone." It was important to Ruenna for actions and character to be the primary determinants of success. Even if that meant that someday a pug-snouted, excessively-wrinkled wolfdog served as Imperator.

lady ruenna spoke with finality.

tamar bowed her head in acceptance. but she did not think the older woman understood the sway that ramesses possessed. it seemed difficult for the others not to live within his thrall. "do you think he will come here?" tamar asked softly. breath sucked against her sides.

she wanted to know the truth. she wanted to hear a lie. her pale beige gaze fixed toward the matrona. "it is a good thing the imperator has you," tamar said lightly, "or else we all might be destined as soldiers."

she looked down at her paws, brow knitted with a momentary distress that soon passed. "whether or not he comes here, i know mereo is different."

Tamar did not comment after Ruenna shared her views on Ramesses, and so Ruenna would be left wondering as to the housemaid's true beliefs about the self-styled Pharaoh.  

"Do you think he will come here?"  Tamar asked. She seemed frightened by the prospect. 

"I think he will," Ruenna admitted. She hated giving the answer that Tamar seemed to dread, but she didn't want to lie to Tamar. "But I don't think he will stay long, without the comforts of indulgences of Akashingo." She hoped this may be reassuring. 

"I think.. if he comes by, it might be best if you and Arsenio were occupied elsewhere." Nothing good could come of flaunting before Ramesses the recruits they had snatched from his grip.

tamar released a breath and nodded quickly. "arsenio, he wants to kill him. he — has for a long time." her eyes searched the pleasant face of the matrona. "i had to argue with him not to do this." why was she speaking so much? tamar's gaze shuttered for a moment behind her lashes.

when she opened her eyes again, it was with a more composed air. "in the palace, i — i can clean wounds. nothing more than that. maybe we will take a trip, to look."

idle planning. the idea of pharaoh coming to mereo both terrified and angered tamar. and belen — the former servant knew that the fellahin who had taken her place would be well-treated, but the guilt remained.

"when the saints came to command pharaoh, someone was killed. i do not think he will come here with a threat that is visible." she knew ruenna had met ramesses. but the importance of being on one's guard was paramount.

Arsenio's murderous feelings toward Pharaoh surprised Ruenna. "Why did he stay in Pharaoh's service, if he felt that way?" Also, why would he agree to remain under Pharaoh's influence here in Mereo? Ruenna could not understand why Arsenio did not just take his bride and go. They were both young, strong, and skilled. Any pack would jump at the chance to offer them a place in their ranks. 

Perhaps Tamar's words should be taken at face value, and Arsenio truly meant to kill Ramesses. That was the only reason Ruenna could fathom that Arsenio would remain here. He was keeping his friends close, and his enemies closer. 

Ruenna found herself nodding along as Tamar made plans aloud. She would agree to any plan that would keep Arsenio and Tamar away from Pharaoh, especially after what Tamar had told her. 

Someone was killed. Yes, Germanicus had mentioned that... Maggie, he had called her. 

"You think he is more likely to send an invisible threat?" Ruenna asked, thoughtful. "..Like a spy?" Her civilian ranks would be the perfect place for a spy to hide. She would need to be vigilant.

"arsenio stayed for me."

her voice was quiet. she did not want to speak of the mazoi to whom she had been sent. it would only evoke words of the queen that she did not want to speak. not now. tamar realized she was afraid what might be thought of her.

"but mereo is a new beginning for us both," the girl said earnestly. "i can see it in him now. he is — more at ease. he laughs more. he smiles more. he likes germanicus," she added, voice trailing.

she found herself captivated by the new sensation of this trust. she was not certain of it yet, only that the resolution in lady ruenna's voice dispelled much of her fear. if the matrona did not see ramesses as a god, perhaps others might be persuaded the same

for her part, tamar did not know how to feel. she did not like to think of the brash royal and the way that his eyes turned possessive when he looked at her.  that he did not force his favoured ones was of little account. once the pharaoh had thrown his net around the one he desired, there was little hope of escaping. 

it seemed only she had wanted to escape. the girl nodded. "he will send a spy. or he will send a messenger. he desires his eyes to be in mereo." it did not benefit ramesses to attack the canyon. but the lack of knowledge was unacceptable to the ruler.

Ruenna nodded, smiling herself. She had not known Arsenio long, and her impression was that it was rare to see him without a smile. She was glad he was here to liven things up among the very serious group of initial recruits. 

"As do I," Ruenna quipped when Tamar mentioned that Arsenio liked Germanicus. The edge of her mouth quirked; a hint of fleeting playfulness. "Germanicus attracts those who Ramesses repels, I think." There was a world in which the leaders might have used this to their advantage in working together, but Ruenna thought it more likely that the differences would eventually drive them apart. 

Ruenna nodded again, grateful for Tamar's inside knowledge. "This is good to know. We'll be ready." With a final smile, she spoke conclusively, "Well.. I leave you to rest." She didn't want to strain Tamar to greatly, especially as she was recovering. "I'm glad you're here, Tamar," she would add sincerely, speaking over her shoulder before departing.

tamar managed a smile as the lady departed.

for a long time she only sat staring at the wall.

her mind was filled with thoughts she could not untangle for now.

eventually, too exhausted to continue her perusal of that knotted weave, tamar slept.