Bitterroot Valley uuman ∾

kukutux saw that there was a fighting within @Sialuk.

it was silent.

but her raindrop had grown pensive. she did not have so many words. the duck chose this day to take her daughter out, beyond all the camps and all the ears of duskfire and moonglow. she called to aiolos to say that she would be gone for many hours. and then she departed.

the snow was brisk. she had brought a wrap cut hastily from a silver caribou hide. this she had offered to sialuk. the second was her own, fawn-hued.

the wind blew the flakes sideways. they thickened but did not block her eyes. 

"you are unhappy. will you tell me your mind, pukak?"

They traveled south from Kildeer Rest, and Sialuk did not balk at the invitation to do so. It was not the spine, but she knew they would go back. When the ice-ulaq melted, they would go back. She had told Towhee as much, and Sialuk would not be made a liar.

The hide across her shoulders still felt heavy, even though it did not weigh her down. She knew what this walk was truly for. Of all the wolves of Moonglow, Sialuk knew Kukutux the most. Perhaps not the longest, as Aiolos had been her friend since before she had taken her first breath, but Sialuk had spent more time with the duck than anyone else. It was a point of pride.

She knew this question from anaa would not, could not go unanswered forever.

The spine is home, she said. When the snow melts, we return, but my spirit is there now. Being away from it is being away from myself.

There were other things, but that was the first.

kukutux listened.

the raindrop spoke of life back upon the spine. of her spirit. 

there were things she did not say. kukutux knew this for they were both women. and women held such close to their hearts. "it is a sacred place for you. it was your spirit which helped to build moonglow. you are the star which makes a path through the sky wet with rain."

the jadestone eyes were soft, questioning. she looked fully into her daughter's gaze.

Sialuk knew she could not hide truths from anaa. She had never been able to, even as a child. To try now was foolish.

When spring comes, when Sedna speaks to my heart, when the new power calls men to me... the raindrop paused, wary of asking the question aloud when she so feared the answer.

Why would any of the men want a dim spirit as mine? What if I am not put back together when we return? Surely no hunter would want to be ugi to her. Sialuk was broken.

what was to come.

kukutux felt her inner soul quail somewhat. but had she not prepared for this moment? "the light of your spirit does not come from a man. we must find what has hurt it, and give you healing before this time comes."

the valley of bitter roots was a myriad of rolling hills. beneath the snow, it made for a good walk.

"i have the wish to make a path home before the next moon. sedna will call to the women of the glacier village. she will call to the women of moonglow. i do not know if we can live so close then."

but her mind was upon what sialuk had said. "is there a man that you want?"

What if we cannot give healing? she asked, feeling heat in her voice. It had been months since Sialuk had felt lightness in her heart. If it was not dim, it was burning fire, as it had been with Kigipigak. She longed for the days when it burned steady and even. Now it seemed only to betray her every wish.

We will leave before the snow melts? Sialuk asked.

For the last question, Sialuk had no answer. And yet, she recalled a memory of what Kigipigak had said.

A man who will fight for me.

kukutux looked at sialuk. "we will leave when the spirits whisper we must go back."

"if i cannot help, then i will ask for more voices than my own, to join us." healing was many things. it took many forms. sialuk burned with an impatience that she had never before seen in her daughter.

the duck felt tears beginning in her own eyes. she did not understand them.

sialuk wished a man who would fight for her. "if a man sees he can win you by overthrowing another hunter, what happens when he is overthrown?" 

she took a breath. "there is something you must know. i had the wish that i would wait until sedna spoke to you. until the day that you married. but i see now that you must know."

firstly, "each wolf has two names. there is the one that we wear each day. and there is our spirit name. a mother tells this twice to her children. first when they are born and cannot hear. the second and last time is when he becomes a hunter. or she becomes a woman. when her ears are open to hear."

"this name is to help you make a path into the next trail of your life." she blinked into the beautiful, tormented eyes of sialuk. "yours is atiqtalik. polar bear mother."

She was feeling frustration. Impatience. Even though Sedna had not visited her, the changes were already beginning to filter there way into her blood. She frowned at anaa's question, knowing the answer was not one she wished to pick apart. It did not make a difference. She was not issumatar. No hunter would fight for her even if she wished it.

The raindrop sighed, looking down to the earth as her mother spoke of spirit names. She listened, but she did not feel this would help her. What use was a spirt name if it was broken? If she was broken.

But I am not mother, she said. Whatever the polar bear mother meant, Sialuk did not find solace in the new name.

she had hoped the name would bring softness to sialuk. but it did not. between the flakes of snow she put her shoulder against that of her raindrop. "it has two meanings. it says that you will be anaa." this was determined, even if the man had not been chosen.

"it says you are a strong woman of the snow." kukutux had never conceived of sialuk marrying a man who was not from the north. she did not see how a hunter of this place would be worthy for the ulloriaq.

she paused. "when you say 'a man who will fight,' do you mean a man who will compete against other hunters for the right to marry you? or a man who will fight to give you the life that is deserved?"

Of that, Sialuk had always been certain. One day, she would give the gift of children to a hunter—her ugi. But doubts curdled the thought as soon as it came into her mind. Sialuk had no ugi. She could not be anaa without one.

The question posed hung in the air, and Sialuk gave a dejected lift of her shoulders. She did not think either of these things was possible.

What if the the life that is deserved is one without a husband?

kukutux was not certain how to lift the spirit of her raindrop. it hurt and worried the duck to see sialuk so possessed of a saddening spirit.

moonwoman pursed her lips. she thought of how best to speak directly. "sometimes knowing the body of a hunter comes before you are wife, sialuk." perhaps her puakak felt the pressure of becoming a wife when she had not even known a man yet. there was no concept of virginity among her people. young women of marrying-age lay with whom they wished. it did not change the thoughts of the village around them. 


but this place was different. these were the teekon lands.

where does the time go?!

Sialuk contemplated this. She did not fear what was to come, for anaa had prepared her long ago for it. Still, laying with a hunter was not the same as being wife to one. And the latter was what she pined for. The girl sighed, her thoughts muddled. She was tired. Tired of wishing for things she could not have.

right!??

kukutux looked at her silent raindrop.

"do you have the want to hear more stories of my island?" she asked at last.

a distraction for them both.

happy to fade here or have kuku tell the story in-thread!

Always, Sialuk said, settling down to funnel her ears forward. Even if her own life did not go as she wished, at least the stories of old would comfort her. Somewhere, things went exactly as planned, exactly as they always had.