Sun Mote Copse all my friends are turning green

@Nellie 

Wraen had heard the good news about Niamh's daughter's arrival, but until today she had not reached out to reacquaint herself with Nellie Blackthorn. The Sovereign had not had much to do with her, when she had been a kid (save for few times, when she had taken the collective baby-sitting shift with the little sharks), and she was truly curious to see, how she had turned out as a near-adult.

Now that an appropriate time had passed for the girl to reunite with her immediate family, Wraen thought it was time to get to know her better. As she walked through the forest, looking for the tell-tale sign of the sunshine-yellow coat, she listed all the other people that had joined recently and who she had to meet. The list was surprisingly long and she sighed, when she estimated, how much time it would take to add a check mark to each name.

Being back was... weird, especially without her father being around and leading the pack. Even now did she look up to him, his grandeur casting a shadow she might never escape. Bronco reminded her of him - strong and sturdy and, who knows, perhaps even fatherly when push came to shove. Though she was proud of him, and of mother for sticking with him, she wondered; what was she supposed to be? With a remnant of her childhood, Wraen, now leading the pack, it was hard to ask for definitive advice.

She had learned tips and tricks during her time with the Frosthawks, though her favorite lessons included a dark woman with eyes like lightning; Raven. She had taught Nellie the basics of healing, but Nellie had a long way to go and they didn't have many healers she could learn from. Of course she could also hunt, track and knew basic, defensive fighting, but other than that? No aspirations, no dreams and especially no talents.

She was digging a new cache when Wraen came looking for her. When she spotted the green-eyed Sovereign, she chuffed a polite greeting and wagged her tail - not assuming the leader was looking for her.

Nellie was her mother's daughter through and through. The only visual feature that the golden-pelted girl had inherited from her father, was the tell-tale stripe along the length of her back. Wraen had spotted the girl from a distance, observed her working for a little while and only then approached. She had changed a good deal and it was amazing to think that this young woman had been a pudgy, fluffy ball of fur just six - seven months prior. Children grew up too fast, but did not all parents come to this realization at some point?

"Hi, Nellie," Wraen greeted her, regarded the girl's work with interest, then went down to the business. "Just wanted to hear, how have you been settling in. It's been a while, since you were here last, a lot has changed and there is a much to take in."

She was growing fast indeed, but Nellie didn't really notice herself. She could see she wasn't a stumbling puppy anymore, getting her ass licked clean every other day, but she hadn't noticed the change until returning to the Copse. She could now look her mother in the eyes without much effort and blend in with the adults, but when she saw her reflection in the water she just saw Nellie; A selfish almost-adult, still trying to find her way.

Oh shit, Wraen actually wanted to talk with her. That was new, for they hadn't talked since... she was a pup, she guessed. Y'all still as nutty as I remember. She joked, rolling her shoulders as she continued to dig. But yeah, I guess things have changed. My friends are a lot taller than I remember - settling's going fine, nothing to complain about really. She smiled, remembering all the reunions she had had. Some had visited her, some hadn't, but everyone still felt like family. She'd been preparing to be an outcast on her way back to the Firebirds, but instead they were just all glad to have her back. It kinda made her feel even worse about leaving in the first place.

And you? My dad's position was a hard one to fill, I'm sure. But it looked like Wraen was doing a fine job in his stead. Of course, that was only how it looked on the outside with no experience leading anything. Seeing as the pack was still here and with enough food to feed everyone, things must've been going swimmingly while she'd been gone.

Colt had not been a leader for a very long time, therefore, when Wraen had taken up the job after his death, she had not thought much about filling anyone's shoes or living up to the memory of the old Blackthorn. Quite the contrary, she had risen to the leadership with her own ideas and beliefs in life and had stuck with them since. 

However, she did not wish to disappoint the former leader's daughter and said: "Your father was a great man and was pulled away from us too soon. His death was a great loss to us all." Now and then her mind would return to Kiwi and wonder, how the girl was doing. She had been pretty beaten up, when Wraen had left her with her friend. Perhaps she too had died and they had settled their score in the afterlife. If she had survived, then all Sovereign could do was hope that she made better decisions with her second chance in life. 

"Would you want to become a Sovereign one day?" she asked out of curiousity.

Nellie didn't know who'd come before Colt. She remembered him as the best dad and sovereign ever, unfairly taken out of her life and causing her to seek solitude away from home. She wanted to keep this image of her dad, close to her heart and forever bound to their broken little family. She wondered if this was what others called "daddy issues".

Thanks... for saying that. Nellie responded softly, pausing briefly in her digging. Wraen could've talked about how it hadn't been hard at all and that her father had basically meant nothing when Wraen had stepped up, but instead Nellie found a strange sense of comfort in the Sovereign's words. She wished he could've stayed with mom, Bronco and her a little longer. She didn't even understand what death was when it came to take him away.

Her ears perked up and her eyes wandered the horizon for a bit. Haven't given it much thought before. She replied honestly, for she really hadn't. She supposed leading was in her blood, with a sovereign father and a feisty mother, but somehow Nellie was afraid of not living up to their expectations. Bronco was a far better pick - he even looked more like Colt than she did. But; I guess I would want to - to make him and mom proud.

Did you want to, before you became a sovereign? She questioned.

To make mom and dad proud. Wraen had heard this phrase before from a dear friend of hers and it made her wonder, whether both he and Nellie said this, because they were still very young and craved appreciation from the outside. For she had never harboured such thoughts neither the first time, when she had been a leader, nor now. She sometimes entertained herself with musings of, what would Osprey and Dante think, if they knew, how much she had achieved, but those were just daydreams. Her driving force was... here she had to think harder, because she could not name one. 

Incidentally that was the thing Nellie asked next. "No, not really. Contrary to popular belief, leading does not mean wearing a shiny crown and showing off," she told. "I am directly responsible for many things. Hunts, diplomacy, inter-pack relationships, keeping things smooth and going within the group, aiding, advising, standing up and finding compromises. It is tiring and it is a lot to take," Wraen smiled. "You may be surprised, but leadership for most wolves is the least desireable position. It is easier, when someone else does the thinking for you."

She knew it didn't mean being worshiped and not much else. Dad had been so busy every day when he was still around. She was sure he'd been tired for a long time, especially with her and Bronco running around being little Blackthorn babies. Of course, Bronco had been the biggest handful >_>.  She listened to Wraen, but it was almost like Colt was telling her all this. He should've done so before he left.

I know - dad looked tired a lot. It's hard work keepin' a pack afloat. She responded. Frosthawks hadn't been that different either. Leading meant taking care of those who put their trust in you, not standing above it all. It sounded burdensome, but; I don't like others making decisions for me, either. Her tone wasn't offensive, just honest, but she saw the error there quickly. No offense. She added after, not meaning to offend Wraen. She hadn't told her mum she'd been staying at the Frosthawks because she knew she wouldn't have the choice to stay there anymore. She came back because it was her choice. And now, she wanted to be as selfless and noble as a Sovereign, because she chose to be. God, that was surely gonna require some work because Nellie was a selfish bum sometimes.

It was then and there that Nellie decided she wanted to be like Wraen - stepping up when the pack needed some steppin' up and gently slapping knowledge into kids. Now that seemed like a desirable position.

"Having your own mind is very important," Wraen nodded in agreement and clarified a bit her earlier statement. "It's not doing all the thinking for you, but offering guidance. There are people that feel comfortable in that they know the rules and they have someone, who tells, where and when the next hunt happens. But it is also good, when a leader gets feedback from his or her comrades. Not all my decisions are absolutely right - discussions are important as well," she elaborated. 

"I find it a lot easier to have your grandparents as my advisors and your mom, Towhee and everyone else to offer me their perspective on things. As much as I wish to be, hear and see everything, that is not always possible," she said. "So, if you ever find yourself on the throne, surround yourself with people, whose judgement and good sense you trust." But enough preaching her wisdom, when she had come to get to know the girl better. "How did you spend your time with Frosthawks? What did you do"

Nellie wasn't good at taking advice. She was pretty stoic. If you had wolves in your pack that could actually make good suggestions, of course you'd listen - but there was no denying there were some stupid ass wolves on this planet. She chuckled then. My grandparents? 'You mean aunty Finley and uncle  Elwood? She smiled. Yeah, they were pretty old, but not that old. Or were they? Did they have kids who got kids of their own? God their tree was confusing. Eljay! Eljay had had kids, and Fin and Elwood were his parents. BOOM - grandparents they were.

She took the advice to heart, but a question lingered on her tongue. Okay, but what if you have someone whose judgement and good sense you don't trust? Like, someone really dumb but nice. She questioned. Did you just ignore them and give em a little pat on the head for trying? Wouldn't they get mad?

Learning, mostly - Sparring, hunting, tracking, stargazing - the basics of it all. Raven even taught me the basics of healing! That was really cool. She answered. She had had a good time with the Frosthawks, but with such a vast array of things to pursue, Nellie didn't know what to pick for sure. She liked the idea of being a medic, but hunting and fighting came nearly natural to her. It didn't help that now she was determined to find her spot in the hierarchy as well. I don't know what I liked most.

Nellie had a knack for humour, which earned a smile from Wraen and points in her good books. Honestly speaking, Eljay a-a-a-a-almost fit the description of "nice people I like, but whose judgement I disagree with", but she did not think him dumb. He pitied him, because in her opinion his insecurities spoiled a lot of the good sense he had. "I listen to them. Occasionally they still say something useful," she replied diplomatically. 

"Jack of all trades then," she summed up, what Nellie told her, and was quite impressed by the myriad of things she had tried out and been taught. "Bronco's truly into mercenary trade and your mom Niamh is our Sergeant-at-Arms. Phox revealed the other day that he is into stargazing and there were some hunters and aspiring scouts around as well. So, if you wish to continue looking, you can approach me any time and we can arrange something," Wraen felt like an old perso, when she listed all this.

Nellie tipped her head to the side with an "are you serious?" kind of expression. They do? She questioned, not remembering a time where something useful came out of a real dummy. She knew she wasn't the smartest around either, but she did think herself higher than a completely brainless individual.

Her eyes widened a little at the list. Was her bro already working towards a trade? That meant she was running late with making up her mind. Sugar was also training towards something specific already and she believed the handsome Figment already had his trade. This kinda pissed her off. How do you become a good advisor? Is it hard? She asked then. She'd been taught a lot already, but she'd like the hardest job there was. She'd make sure she was irreplaceable someday.

"You would have never guessed that," Wraen chuckled at the girl's surprise. But they did, because their view of life was a bit unusual, weird, almost unorthodox. "When I was young, it took me a long time to realize that we all are dummies in some areas in life," she said, "and experts at others."

"Well, Advisor or Counsellor is a job with many specialties. Unlike in stories, there is not one wise-man or woman in the pack, who knows everything about everything," she began to explain, though - in truth - she had not given up hope to be that white-bearded wise-fellow(-ess) one day. 

"To be a good one, you have to learn, how people work and what makes them tick. You do not have to be everyone's best friend, but you have to find out, how to manage and accomodate them best," she explained. "So - if I was you, I would start either as a gamemaster or ambassador," Wraen suggested. 

"The first keeps the pack's morale and helps bond the individuals within the group through games and activities. The latter travels to other packs to learn more about them and make decisions, whether making alliances with them would be useful to the home-group or not," she finished and gave Nellie time for the information to sink in.

I guess I'm ahead now then. She lightly joked, ears still perked with interest and the need to soak up as much wisdom as she could. Was she a dummie? Well yes, she was accident-prone and tended to lash out whenever things got a little too emotional. An expert though? She couldn't see herself being an expert at anything. Maybe a wildcard was really all she was, just moderately good at most things that needed skill. That didn't make her feel satisfied at all.

She listened, eyes widened - the information given gave her a few ideas. 'Don't think my mom would like me being an ambassador - she's prolly gonn' think I died again. She commented a little somber. Though that does sound like, really awesome.

"In my opinion, the best way to start learning about people is to start with the closest circle," Wraen advised, hoping that Niamh's de facto ban on Nellie's chances to travel outside the pack would come to an end the moment the girl was an adult. Though - she had heard that children to their parents always remained children. Even if the said parent was already 85 years old and the child was 60. 

"Meet people, talk with them, learn more about them, their likes and dislikes, what their personalities are, how you can persuade them to do something and what is an absolute no-no to them," she suggested. "Playing games helps this as well. You might even learn the most unusual facts about them during such," Wraen said. "Think about it, try out and, if being a social butterfly is not your thing, we might find something that suits you better instead."

Oh - I'm social alright. She commented confidently. Though, everyone always finds me in the weirdest situations - like today, Fig and Sugar found me with mah big head stuck in a bush! She exclaimed, cheeks flushing a dark red underneath her fiery coat. Everyone probably knew more secrets and embarrassing stuff about her than she did about all of them combined! It didn't help that she tried to be honest either, always flapping her big mouth to reveal another thing - like just now.

She rubbed her paw against her head. Let's just hope my mom let's me go a little once I join all y'all in the adult ranks.

"We all have days like these. If I had a rabbit for every mishap I have been into, I would be round and fat and unable to move," Wraen reassured Nellie with a joke. "And - I will tell you a secret," she leaned in and her voice went down in a conspirational whisper, "even though you get older, the number of awkward situations does not decrease. We - adults - are better at hiding it."

Then she returned to her earlier position and said: "Well, try out, what I suggested you to do and come by any time to tell me about your progress. I and my sister go out on scouting trips time from time and you can join us too, if you want to."

Nellie shrugged with a smile on her face. I guess I have interesting conversation topics now tho. She said with a chuckle. She had an image to uphold, yes, but maybe messing up every now and again wasn't the worst thing ever. If anything, she'd met some amazing people doing some really dumb shit. She wasn't going to purposefully seek out trouble, but it seemed like avoiding it altogether didn't work for anyone - not even Wraen.

I'd love to - I'll ask mum, soonish. With the cache dug and her job done, maybe it was time to go. Thanks man.