The Sentinels I'm afraid to sleep because of what haunts me

@Wraen <3

From one treeline to another, Bronco meandered in the growing light, having left Moonspear before dawn to take a trip to the coast. It surprised him to feel the ground begin to soften in the shade of the trees, where the grasses became tall but sharp, and hissed in the wind. In the distance, beyond the edge of the forest he could see a bright light and hear the rush and whisper of the wave- and was drawn from the shaded woodlands to where they came to a halt, and the long, thing stretch of sandy beach reached out ahead of him. 

It was breathtaking. He hadn't been to the coast since he'd been about 3 months old, and he found now that the trip was long overdue. There was a nip in the wind, and he had to squint against the brightness of the morning sun against the pale sand, but to his delight, the ground was warm. All he had to do was wriggle his toes a bit, and his feet would sink down into the warm sand, which he adored. He didn't realize it, but he still carried a fair amount of mica dust in his pelt from the cave he lived in, and so he, too, was as shining and shimmering as the sand along the beach. 

Here, it seemed, with such an open view, he might not have to ever worry about the troublesome wolves to the East. So he padded forward until he found the warmest spot in the sand he could find, and flopped down. Break time.

Wraen had made a particular friend recently - while eating a breakfast in form of rabbit scraps, a little crow had left it's perch in the trees and settled not too far from, where she had settled down. It hopped closer, inch by inch and at the same time he was very nonchalant about his true intentions. Whenever the she-wolf's keen gaze met his intelligent black bead-like eyes, the bird pretended to be pecking something on the ground. Having such a companion for a meal soon proved to be so amusing, that after Wraen had finished eating, she left just enough for the bird to have something to steal.

Thus had an odd friendship between two different species begun. Their shared interest was in carrion and, though Wraen knew that the bird was using her, she did not mind. After all she had set out in the world to make new friends, acquaintances and allies and she did not see a reason, why a bird would not be as good as any wolf. The crow did not show himself always, but the she-wolf was aware, when he was around and was watching her. Sometimes - when she lied asleep (with one eye open just in case), the crow dared to hop around her and even be so bold to pull her lightly on the ear or peck on her fur. And, when she was in particularly good mood, she playfully snapped at the shameless creature, being careful though to let him escape every time.

Needless to say that every successful escape time made somebody bolder and it was the reason that, when Wraen walked the sandy shores this evening, she had a little winged tail just few feet behind her. She idly wondered, when should she test the avian companion again, when shimmering log not too far from, where her path was leading, caught her attention. Upon closer examination the shape and size seemed vaguely familiar, but not wishing to disturb the other's moment of peace and quiet, she did the next good (perhaps, worst) thing - made no noise, sat down and observed him quietly. And right next to her the crow landed and watched as well.

The sand cooled beneath him, but he remained where he was, with the sun warming his back. It wouldn't be long now until the season would come wherein sitting in the sunshine wouldn't be enough to keep him warm, but at least the fact that winter was on its way meant that spring would be too- and with Spring came puppies, which would be exciting indeed. Not that he had plans of fathering any- but he'd spoil the heck out of everyone else's children. 

He might not have noticed Wraen had he not heard the wingbeats of the crow who landed not far from her. His first thought, of course, was can I eat it? but when he looked up to see that it had settled not far from such a familiar and beloved figure, he forgot about the bird completely. He yelped in excitement as he flopped onto his side and launched himself awkwardly to his feet, staggering a few paces in the wrong direction before he caught his balance, and bolted toward Wraen with a huge smile on his face and his tail winging in circles behind him.

It did not take Bronco too long to notice her presence. In a matter of seconds he had jumped to his feet and closed the distance between them. She was very glad to see him as well, though she was a little more reserved in expressing that. Her tail wagged, she smiled at him sweetly and sniffed his muzzle in greeting. He had not changed much at all - so it seemed. 

"What brings you here, Bronco?" she asked him, taking a step back to appraise him again. "Last I heard you had become a mountaineer."

The yearling practically fell over himself making a fuss over Wraen, with eager licks and nips readily showing just how happy he was to see her again. It had come as a wound to his heart when he'd heard that she'd left the Firebirds- and he bore that pain with a heavy cape of guilt knowing that his decision to move to Moonspear had been an influence on that decision. It relieved him greatly to see her now- safe, sound and happy, and that she received him without spite. 

"I missed you, Wraen!" He exclaimed boyishly, but with an earnest whine. He hadn't answered her question, but it felt so important to him to let her know- knowing that she, of all wolves, would take his confession seriously. She was one of very few who seemed willing to talk about real, true feelings. She'd pulled away to look at him, but he found it difficult to remain where he was. His tail thumped eagerly against the ground and he looked as though at any moment, he might pounce her again. "I, uh, well, yeah, I do live on a mountain but I dunno how good of a mountaineer I am yet," He admitted. "I just wanted to get out on flat ground, so I could really stretch my legs rather'n worrying about falling to my death down the slope but tha's whatever-" He said, almost dismissively of his potential perils. He was more keen on finding out about her. "How have you been? You're still travelling with Arcturus an' Maia, right? Are you guys going to settle down somewhere for the winter? Or like make a pack of your own?" He asked, rushing the questions in an attempt to find out as much as he could.

Looking back at how badly she had reacted to the news about Bronco and Meerkat leaving for Moonspear, Wraen was glad to find out that at least in one aspect she had been wrong - this young, dashing fellow was just the same as he had been in Firebirds. In body and spirit, the mountain wolves had not yet changed him and she dared to hope that no matter, how long his stay was going to be there, that won't ever change. The very thought that Bronco's good heart would change to fit ideals of Ostrega clan was unbearable. 

"I am a lot better than, when you saw me last," Wraen lied smoothly, not wishing to reveal that her heart still gave her troubles and that she had not regained her stamina. Some things kids did not need to know. "They are around - yes. I am not sure, where Maia is presently, but, if you wish - we can find her and you two can catch up," she offered, recalling dimly that there was a bit of liking between the two. "Well... I don't know. Technically - three is a pack too," she pointed out. "But if you were to join, I would have to think about something more serious."

It felt amazing to Bronco to hear that Wraen was feeling better than she had the day he'd left. Of course, that didn't imply that she felt one hundred percent herself, but she looked fine to him, and had just admitted that her life had improved. He couldn't be completely guiltless, knowing that he was the one who'd caused a detriment to the quality of her life, but at least it came as some relief to know she was faring well, at least. 

She offered to take him to find Maia- and while he did want to see her too, he didn't want to miss out on any time he had with Wraen, especially now that she wasn't tied to one location. "I'm glad they're with you, an' that they're doing well- maybe later, hmm? I just wanna spend some time with you," He said, poking his nose out to boop the end of hers with his. A little spark of static electricity gave him a zap that made him wriggle his nose. 

Wraen seemed open to the possibility of him joining them- which, in Bronco's books, wasn't really on the table at the moment. But- he was intrigued when she said she'd have to consider more "serious" things. As though on cue, Bronco flopped down onto the ground, rolling over onto his back and looking up at Wraen with a silly grin. He reached up with one foot as though to stroke the underside of her chin. "Serious stuff? Why would you have to think about serious stuff with me around?" He asked with a chortle.

Bronco was not a man to stop half-way somewhere. Last year he had been nothing but a grumpy pain in the ass, from that he could go playfully and flirtatiously reckless like now, and then there were times, when he was very serious and contemplative. Colourful like a butterfly's wing he was. And Wraen loved him for the ease she had, when they spoke. It entered her mind that were she any younger and viewed him less as a dear nephew, but more as an eligible bachelor, she would try to snare him. Just for the fun of it. Just to see, if she could do it. 

With a sigh she shoved those heretic thoughts aside, though a teasing grin never left her expression. "For exactly this reason," she replied and attempted to place one of her paws right on Bronco's face. "So, how is life in the mountains - does Moonspear give you all you wished for?" she asked.

When she put a paw on his face, Bronco looked at it, nearly going cross-eyed in the process. He chuckled, and nipped at her paw before he rolled back over onto his belly and sat up. He wasn't entirely sure what she'd meant- maybe she didn't think he was a serious enough wolf, and she was likely right about that. But one of his favourite things about spending time with Wraen was the fact that he could be silly, relaxed, and truly himself without feeling pressured to act grown-up or serious. "Maybe you're right," He said. But he couldn't keep a straight face for long. He wriggled his nose. "I have been told before that I have a very serious nose," He said, turning his head to gaze down the bridge of his muzzle, past the parallel scars, and gaze fondly at Wraen. 

She wanted to know about Moonspear, and part of him wanted to lie a bit, so she didn't feel like she'd been wrong in doubting his choice. The truth was that he loved it there; he missed the rest of his family, but he was enjoying his training, and he liked getting to know other wolves his age who were as interested in training and hunting as he was. But...He didn't want to seem too enthusiastic about it, and make Wraen doubt her judgement. So he tried to keep his response fairly neutral. "I like it there. I mean, I think It'd be easier if we were on flat ground, but I don't actually mind the workout too much. An' there's a bunch of yearlings same age as me, an' they're all pretty cool. And they're really good with Meerkat, too." He said, which was quite important to him. He paused for a moment, as he had an idea of what Wraen might have really wanted to know. 

"I had a really good talk with Hydra," He said. "Sort of...About the things you an' I talked about, once." He said. "An' she...I mean, I thought she was all tough super-warrior, wouldn't think twice about killin' a wolf, but she...She actually really does. Like...I don't think she'd kill needlessly. And she said if I ever...Thought I had to, that she'd never make me, if I didn't want to." He said, fumbling with his words as he tried to properly express what he was trying to say.

Wraen felt a pang of jealously, when Bronco admitted that he was doing well in the mountains, that he had found, what he had been looking for - a place to grow as a person and mature. Hadn't she and his birth pack been enough? It was momentarily thing though - that resentment - because, why should she feel that way, when she too was no longer part of Firebirds. Hadn't she done the very same thing - sought greener pastures, once the life in the pack had no longer been satisfying. And to be honest - who could challenge anyone, who looked as happy and content as Bronco, with petty and selfish arguments. Not Wraen for sure.

However his assumption that Hydra would never be wasteful, when it came to killing, earned a smirk and a deep sigh from her. Well, she had not exactly lied and yet Wraen always had a healthy amount of distrust towards people, who believed that they could never do wrong, that all of their actions and choices were justified. "No one should make you do anything, Bronco. You are your own man now," she told him, when he had finished. "And be very careful on, what you pick up from Hydra. She is a great person in many ways, but not all of them are good and pristine," she went on and felt that this statement needed to be clarified. Wraen certainly did not wish to put Bronco at odds with his new ruler. "Don't take everything she says or do, no matter, how solid her reasoning is, as an absolute truth. Always be your own man, never follow blindly," she finished.

It seemed to be of great importance to Wraen that he remain the wolf that she knew- and that he didn't allow himself to be charmed by Hydra too much. Did Wraen really think that Hydra was hiding things? Or that she was trying to use kindness in a bid to catch his favour, before she could eventually manipulate him into becoming something of a killing machine? He liked to think that Wraen knew him better than that- and that she knew that it would be impossible for anyone to have that sort of effect on him. He was, after all, the indomitable Bronco Blackthorn. 

"I don't think anyone knows what the absolute truth is," He answered thoughtfully- unknowingly doing exactly what Wraen had advised that he do, and contemplating an idea for himself. "But if anyone was to know the absolute truth about everything in the world, that'd probably be you," He said, bumping his muzzle against hers.

"Well, I will have to shake the foundations of that belief of yours. Don't take everything I say as an absolute truth either," Wraen laughed, but the message was serious. She would be arrogant to say that she knew everything about life and that she never made mistakes. Not even close. The only difference between her young self and now was that she had more time to think about her actions and weigh out all the pros and cons. And even then - who knew, what the right thing to do was?

"Treat is an opinion. Process it and take, what you think may be useful to you, or disregard it entirely," she advised, smiling. "It helps to know all sides of the argument and, before forming a decision of your own. Even then... not always, what is right, is pleasant or makes you happy," she said.

Perhaps had Wraen told him to believe everything she said as the truth, he might have had some reason to doubt her. But simply because she acknowledged that she might not know the entire truth about everything led him to believe that at least, in comparison to all others, she was still one of the best wolves to go to for advice. Aside from being incredibly intelligent and wise, she was also well-grounded and humble...And she had more patience than most, to have spent so much time answering all of Bronco's hypothetical questions. 

Her advice often coached him to try and see more than one side to different, and difficult situation, which was a skill he was attempting to develop. And it was one that Wraen herself must have been considering- now that she had begun to realize, perhaps, that maybe Hydra had some good in her- as she'd done nothing to change the way Bronco felt about harming other wolves, even when it seemed necessary. 

"Who did you learn all this from, Wraen?" He asked. "What were your parents like?"

"Other people and own experience," Wraen replied simply. She would have loved to be just that arrogant to tell that she had been born already wise and old, but that would be disregard for the number of people, who she had learned from, who had guided and taught her and eventually brought her, where she was now. Having a full mental chest of gems and pearls of wisdom and being as comfortable and happy in her shoes as possible.  

"My parents were absolutely the best people in the world, though I think that I might idolize them a bit too much, since I left them still at that stage in life, where you put your parents on a throne of "they cannot do anything wrong" and do not see them as people with flaws and weaknesses," she said.

"What I miss the most is the chance to talk to them. There have been so many times - very difficult ones - when I have wished to have them there to talk with. To ask for advice, to discuss and argue," if life could be that simple and straightforward. "But... of many valuable things I learned from them, that one, most important was that they loved me for, what I truly was. Not for achievements, talents, aspirations, ambitions and whatnot, but for being me," she explained. 

"Both of my littermates - Sarah and Terance - focussed on becoming the idolized versions of my parents. They were quite competetive and ambitious, they believed that their only road to success was becoming good leaders, warriors and whatnot," the thought that she wanted to express was so clear cut in her mind, but so difficult to put it in enough words to make it sound right. "And for them that praise and admiration from the parents was an essential part of, what drove them further, gave them energy, even when the parents weren't around to see their successes or failures. 

But looking back... I think that it also caused them unnecessary suffering later in life. That belief that your true value lies only in, what you do and how successful you are at it, and definitely in, how many people are around to admire you and cheer you on. And, when you fail or make mistakes, or be criticized, or are abandoned...  it is your fault and you are not worth anything,"  again she could not be sure if her assessment of both of her siblings was correct, but after spending so much time in the company of Maia, who was as different from Terance as the sun was from the moon, she knew that there had to be some truth in her words. 

"I do hope that Dante and Osprey, wherever they are now, and in case they are watching me, are happy and content about, what they see," she concluded.

Like a child lulled into a bedtime story, Bronco fell quiet as he listened, touched and pleased that Wraen would share with him some stories about her parents, siblings and upbringing. He found himself wondering at first why he hadn't asked her about herself more- thugh he considered that potentially, he'd always made himself too busy asking her questions to help him get through his existential crises. 

It made him happy to hear she had a happy childhood, and good parents. She had grown up with wolves that she looked up to, with siblings who had tried very hard to be their best. Wraen, in her own way, simply seemed to find a path that suited her more- existing as she did now, a soft and comforting presence rather than one who aspired to be a guardian or lead hunter or alpha. He felt himself wondering if maybe he was more like her brother and sister, who had put so much time and effort into doing something in an attempt to please their parents...And he felt himself wondering if perhaps he wasn't pursuing trades in such a way that he might finally impress his mother. He also wondered if perhaps this was Wraen's way of telling him that he ought to do what made him feel best though in the end...He didn't feel as though he regretted the choices he'd made. 

"And you're happy now too, right?" He asked, looking up at her. "I mean...I'm sure if your parents knew how much you've helped me, they'd have to be proud. I can't even talk to my Mom the ay I talk to you. That's sayin' something, right?"

"Happy? I don't know. I am okay though. At peace," Wraen shrugged. Again there was no simple answer to that question, because no one in their good sense pranced around their lives being 100% happy all the time. At any given moment you could feel a myriad things that "happy" would not even begin to cover. On the other hand - there was always this inbetween state, when you were neither happy, nor sad. Normal. Okay. In the middle-ground.

"Maybe you expect too much from one person? Just because she is your mom... I mean, it is okay not to get along with her. Or that you cannot agree on some things or anything at all with her. Or that you argue," Wraen mused. "She may be so much a different person that you may never be good friends, even if that mother-son bond exists. I mean, I am not even sure I would have become friends with my siblings, would have acknowledged each other, if we had not been born in the same litter, but - say - met as strangers," now that was an interesting thought, but just one of many idle speculations of "what if"s. 

"But - I admit - it is flattering to know that you listen so intently, when an old hag like me drowns you in her wisdom," she teased him in good-humour.

He'd take her answer, but he wasn't sure he liked the fact that she had to rearrange her words in order to avoid saying that she might not necessarily be happy. 'At peace,' was one thing, but she had definitely avoided claiming that she was happy. Had she been happy at the Copse, and was she less happy now? Bronco still couldn't help but feel that part of this was his fault; Wraen had left her home, and her title as Sovereign, at least in part because he and Meerkat had wanted to move to Moonspear. And while he was thoroughly enjoying his life there, it was soured somewhat by the awareness that he'd potentially acheived something for himself and the expense of someone else's happiness. 

He wasn't particularly keen on talking about his mother, as he didn't want to bring up the fact that she'd nearly strangled him to death one day trying to force him to fight back. He'd merely shrug in response, as he was simply much happier living a life in a pack that was at least a couple days away from wherever Niamh was. 

But he could be tempted to respond when she mentioned herself and he laughed softly, reaching out to rest his forehead against her shoulder. "You're not a hag, Wraen," He scolded softly. "You're like...A fairy godmother."

"Ain't you a bit too old to have a fairy godmother?" Wraen grinned at him, though secretly she was glad that he had not entirely abandoned the land of childhood. It was always sad to see that, when kids grew up, they forgot, what it was like to play and let their imagination roam wild. She knew that she should cherish this little moment, because it would probably be the last, before the seriousity of the adult life took over. 

"Do you intend to stay in Moonspear for the rest of the days or is it a stop along the way?" she asked, trying to guess, which way would fate take him. Again she hoped that he would not become Hydra's obedient minion for the rest of his life. Despite all the great things he was learning there now, Wraen was not convinced that the Bronco was cut out to live among Ostregas or become one of them.

"Wraaaaaen, no!" He laughed. He wasn't even two years old yet- and as far as he was concerned, he'd never be too old to have a fair godmother looking out for him. "I'm never gonn get too old," He said, puffing out his chest a little bit. He couldn't stay young forever, of course- but he could at least keep his heart youthful, and believe in silly things. He also doubted very much that he might ever get to a point wherein he wouldn't need to, or want to, go to Wraen for advice. She was the wisest wolf he knew- and he was incredibly fond of her. 

When she asked about Moonspear, he couldn't help but wonder if she wasn't searching for an answer about whether or not it had been right for him to go there. He wilted a bit, as though he was ashamed of his answer- and he gelt guilty, having found a home that he liked so much, knowing that he'd gone there against Wraen's wishes. He shrugged and answered in a small voice. "I...Like it there." He said. When he looked up at her, it was with doleful, puppy eyes. "Are you still disappointed that I went there?"

"Bronco, you do not have to feel ashamed or anything," Wraen tried to reassure her friend, when she caught that moment of hesitation and insecurity in his demeanor. Yes, she had been disappointed in that first shocking moment, finding out that all of a sudden Firebirds and Moonspear were best buddies and that it had happened behind her back. But now that she was no longer tied to the responsibilities of leading a pack and having an alliance that her whole being went against, it no longer mattered.

"Umm... let's put it like that, I was very sad to see you two go. And I would have liked to have a bit more preparation for that moment too," she chose her words carefully. "But I did exactly the same thing, when I was your age. My brother and his friend wanted to found a new pack and I did not say so much as a goodbye to Moonspear, when I agreed to go with them," she told, smiling now. "I can't say that taste of my own medicine is sweet or likeable, but I have learned to let people go over time," but no matter the age, having them leave you, was just as hard. 

"And this alliance with Moonspear would have happened either way. If it is for the better of the pack, I do not want to stand in it's way. I have my reasons not to like or trust Hydra, Arcturus has plenty that he's still dealing with - we would not have fit in that new arrangement," Wraen explained. "However, you and Meerkat represent a new generation. Perhaps, you will create something great," she shrugged, but highly doubted it. As long Hydra was at the helm, she did not believe in much change in Moonspear itself. 

"You promise me just one thing - keep that good and kind heart of yours. If I know it's safe, I will sleep soundly at night," she smiled at him fondly.

The short answer, he decided, was that she didn't want him to feel bad- but that he still would. He knew he'd done something that had definitely not resonated well with Wraen, and it had caused her to implement a shift in her lifestyle that Bronco thought might have meant she was potentially putting herself in harm's way. He didn't like the idea of Wraen, Maia and Arcturus living on their own in the wilderness, especially not now- and with winter coming? Even less. He worried about them- and deep down, he felt that if anything did happen to them while they were out in the wilderness, it was quite possible that it was his fault. If he and Meerkat hadn't left for Moonspear, maybe they'd still be safe in the Copse. 

"Okay, but you have to promise me too, Wraen," He said. "You have to promise me you're gonna be safe...And that if you ever make the choice to go further away I...I'd wanna know, OK? I don't just want you to disappear without...Saying goodbye first, okay?" He pleaded.

"Bronco - with Maia by my side and Arcturus watching my every step carefully, I could not put myself in harm's way even if I tried," Wraen shrugged off Bronco's surge of worry for her well-being. It had been difficult those first few days, until they made it to the Sentinels. Not only had it been challenging physically, she had mourned a bit about the chapter of her life that now had closed. 

"Well, I doubt I will be able to find you, when the time comes for us to move. We won't wonder near Moonspear, so do not expect me to howl at your pack's doorstep," she pointed out kindly. "A-a-a-and... we can bypass the whole "goodbye" thing by "see you later"?" she suggested. "It is less permanent and gives a promise of a new encounter at some point. Sounds good, huh?"

He wanted very much to believe that no harm could possibly befall Wraen, with having both Maia and Arcturus around. And to be fair, he did believe that the latter brought with him plenty of experience as a guardian, which made Bronco feel a bit better. So he tried to muster a smile and a nod, though he was still at least partially concerned. From what he'd been told, it wasn't really that safe to be wandering through the wilderness, but...At least Wraen wasn't alone. 

She offered an alternative plan, and he still had some concerns that she was neither promising to stay near, nor could she ever guarantee that nothing bad would happen...But he'd believe her, nonetheless. And at least she was attempting to promise him that she'd see him again. "You sure you can't..." He began, as he did wish she would put aside whatever differences she had regarding Hydra, and at least swing by somewhere in the vicinity to call for him should she relocate. "Alright. But you have to really promise me, okay?" He asked, frowning.

"I am sure I can't - despite our differences, my head has a bounty on it, if I ever come near, God forbid, trespass Moonspear's borders," Wraen finished Bronco's thought and laughed it off, though at the time, when it had happened, she had found it far from being very funny or amusing. She had been terrified and scared for her life many days after the showdown between Arcturus and Hydra. 

"Really promise, what, Bronco?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. "That I won't run in trouble or that one way or another I will find you and we will see each other again? I can promise you even that in that unfortunate case, when I happen to die, I will come back as an angry little ghost and I will haunt you until... forever," she joked. "Sounds good?"

His ears turned back when she mentioned how unwelcome she would be at Monspear. Having not brought her name up, Bronco hadn't learned anything from the Moonspear wolves about how they felt about Wraen, but apparently, there was more bad blood between them than he'd imagined. He wanted to ask- but also, he didn't want to know, and felt more comfortable choosing to believe that maybe Wraen was exaggerating. That's why she'd laughed about it, right? "Well, I like you better with your head still on your shoulders," He said, reaching out to give her cheek a soft nuzzle. "So I guess, yeah, that'll have to do." He said. He didn't like to think of Wraen ever becoming a ghost, though, but again, he knew she was at least somewhat joking. "You won't be a ghost, Wraen, you'll be an angel."