Permafrost Hollows i am a man of many hats

set several hours after this thread

When he finally rose, Alarian was more than a little eager to get away from Broken Boulder. He had denied himself the opportunity the previous night, but today— today he had @Ulf with him, and surely that was a good excuse to wander. After all, he was simply enlightening him to the ways of the world or some bullshit like that.
Really, he just wanted some alone time with the wolfdog. Not that they didn't get that anyway, but— there was something different about being alone in the wilderness, outside of pack territory. Something more isolating. Where most of the time he shied from that, he craved it now— especially in the company of his friend.
He led him outside the territory, careful to keep a pace that wouldn't exhaust the wolfdog. Though wary of mountains lately, Alarian only hesitated a few beats when they came to the base of an icy mountain. It was icy, not fuming, so he assumed it was safe. Well, safer. The Governor gestured for his companion to stay close, picking his way carefully around precarious stacks of shimmering ice and glancing back at Ulf frequently. It was a strange place— so cold in summer!— perhaps a bit dangerous, but he felt confident in his ability to watch out for his friend. Or at least, he told himself he did.

He had slept rather well the night before. Despite being exposed to the elements, Alarian and he had stayed in the wildflowers throughout the night. The sun awoke them as the scent of rain flooded his sense. Luckily the stench of wet dog was not too powerful thanks to the flowers adding their own scents.

Ulf trailed after Alarian with ease, the grogginess escaping his body with each step they took further away from the Sanctuary. The canine did not question where they were going or why. Instead he stayed rather silent and stuck close to the gold-kissed male. He did not want a repeat of Furthest Sea. When they reached an icy terrain he easily complied with his company's silent summoning to stay close.

His blue eyes glanced about trying to make something of this place. It was summer - such an odd time for ice to be present - and so the place seemed a bit whimsical. Where we? He asked as he tried to stay focused on his footing.

I don't know, He admitted softly, tail wagging; it was evident from his tone that he didn't mind not knowing at all. Before he could speak further, something caught his eye— the entrance to a tunnel, near to the base of the mountain. It was carved of ice, likely not the most stable thing in the world. Alarian glanced back at Ulf for the dozenth time, debating.
Well, when in doubt, ask. Do you want to go in there? He couldn't hide the eagerness in his tone as he gestured towards his discovery, but if Ulf said no, surely they would find something else to entertain them.

His tail wagged in return because if the wolf was happy, Ulf was happy. It was as simple as that.

He was looking elsewhere when Alarian made the discovery of the tunnel. His head turned and his ears stood tall with an eagerness. The wolfdog didn't take much of look before his head was bobbing up and down. Yes. He said with airy excitement lacing the one word. Because it would be exciting, new, and hopefully fun. Who knew when the next time they'd get to discover something like this would be?

Ulf eagerly took a few steps closer to the tunnel's entrance but he safely halted. If he was going to enter there, it had to be with Alarian.

Undeniably pleased that Ulf had agreed, he nudged him gently with his nose before he continued towards the tunnel; he kept a slow pace at first, eyes flitting between his friend and the tunnel's entrance. When he was certain nothing would suddenly collapse down on them and turn them into hamburger patties, he focused more fully on the path ahead. It was dimly lit, and inside the tunnel was colder than he had expected.
Much colder. Alarian shivered and moved to press against his companion; had either of them been any larger, there wouldn't have been enough room to walk side by side. As it was, the two barely fit. He slowed to a stop, drawing his nose briefly along one icy wall of the tunnel and watching his breath fog against it.
Strange, isn't it? He breathed, eyes flitting back to the wolfdog.

It was obvious he didn't mind the required closeness in the tunnel. In fact, he felt nice that perhaps his thick fur and body fat might keep the wolf warm. For there was no denying the coldness that the tunnel harboured.

He watched Alarian with care, making sure nothing went wrong. At the sight of the fog, his tail waved over his back. How interesting to see one's breath in the summer. Strange, yes. The wolfdog agreed with a small grin.

Ulf looked to his side of the tunnel. His own distorted reflection looking back at him. He could see it now, the blur of one eye. The canine did his best to not focus on it. He would try to recreate what Alarian had did instead. Stop he pressed his nose to the ice and breathed out his mouth.

He watched with a slight smile as Ulf mimicked his actions, brushing his tail softly against the other before he pressed forward again. The tunnel was winding, becoming wider and more narrow by turns. Their path sloped downward, the walls of the tunnel breaking into rough, icy stone as they continued. Somehow, it got a little colder.
Then, suddenly, Alarian stopped; just ahead of them the tunnel widened, opening into a yawn to reveal a stony underground chamber. The air around them was damp, frosted. Melted ice gathered in indentations worn into the stone over years, overflowing and trickling in thin, silvery veins across the ground beneath them. Above them, sharp crystalline structures pointed almost threateningly from the ceiling.
After several long moments of silent awe, he took a few steps forward— then turned his head, his glittering champagne gaze finding Ulf. Slowly, he lowered his head to the pool of water nearest him— and with a swift toss of his nose across the surface, pitched a small shower of droplets at the wolfdog. A slightly impish grin curved his lips, tail swishing behind him.

Ulf had not been paying as close attention to the details of the tunnel as his companion had. Sometimes he trailed behind ever so slightly (as there wasn't much room to trail behind in here) and other times he was glued to Alarian's side.

His icy gaze had been elsewhere when the wolf threw water. It caught him off guard that his jaws parted before coming together - teeth clicking at the water droplets in the air. The move was not necessarily aggressive though and the waving of his curled tail proved that.

Again. He beckoned softly, voice daring to echo against the tunnel walls.

Alarian wasn't sure what he had expected, but it wasn't that. A soft laugh escaped him as he watched the wolfdog's teeth snap at the air, not missing the sway of his tail. He almost envied his friend's childlike playfulness, but— observing it, he decided, was almost better.
Wordlessly, he complied with Ulf's request, tentatively splashing a bit more water than the first time. He shivered a little, reminded of how cold he was when his nose touched the water. Normally, it would have been enough to drive him home; right now, he was having too much fun to mind.

At the next series of droplets, Ulf lowered his front end down as his teeth clicked at the lower droplets. A small laugh escaping him despite the fact that he hadn't managed to catch any. They hit his face and while it wasn't a lot, they made the coldness known.

He stood back up and moved forward towards the gold-kissed wolf. The canine would aim to gently bump his head against Alarian's shoulder. Good trip. He mumbled softly before pulling his head away. Ulf was glad he had stayed with Alarian through the night and followed him in the morning.

This place would be remembered with fondness.

Warmth spread through his chest; it wasn't a feeling to inspire anxiety, for once. No crushing dread, no frantic bite of frayed nerves. He was calm. He was happy. It was only a band-aid, he knew— a temporary fix, only lasting as long as their trip. Alarian soaked it in nonetheless, eyes never leaving his friend. This was a feeling he craved. Perhaps more than anything else.
He closed his eyes as Ulf bumped gently against his shoulder. Yes, His agreement was soft, warm. Alarian cracked his eyes open to study the wolfdog, then. Part of him wondered if this was as rare for Ulf as it was for him— if it was as special. He wondered whether he wanted the answer to be yes or no. What was your life like before this?

The question inspired a small hum from him, wondering how to word it. Not nice, not good. He admitted with half of a frown. They rough. It was no wonder Ulf couldn't keep up with them. He didn't have half the power they had and didn't share the same kind of mindset. Lot of... His voice faded off as he tried to recall the word to use. His brows furrowed in frustration that he couldn't find the right words. Ulf wanted to answer Alarian's question the best he could but it was not an easy task.

A sigh finally escaped him as his shoulders sagged a bit. Alarian always here? Had his wolf friend always inhabited the secluded slice of land that Bracken Sanctuary laid? It would make sense to Ulf but he supposed that Alarian could have been like himself.

He was beginning to think he should stop asking Ulf personal questions; the answers always made his heart ache. Alarian moved to press against the wolfdog, nuzzling gently into his neck fur if he was allowed. This time, he didn't bother saying what they both already knew— that things were different now, that he would never have to go through that again. It was a promise he had already made. Now he would show what that meant.
The question gave him pause. For several beats, he actually didn't understand— always here? Would he always be here? He opened his mouth to answer, but— wait, no, maybe he was asking if he had always been in these wilds. No, Alarian began, pulling away slightly, then stopped. His origins were... complicated, to say the least. Would Ulf even understand?
Would he ever know if Ulf understood if he kept treating him as if he didn't?
I was born in a place called Sunfil Grove, He glanced away, towards the mouth of the icy tunnel; he would keep it simple, for now. Perhaps Ulf would want to know more— perhaps he wouldn't. It's very far east. Maybe too far to ever go back. Another pause. I haven't seen it in... a long time.

He accepted the nuzzling, never one to reject the comfort of Alarian's touch. Ulf had learned that when Alarian came close it was not to harm him. It was always to provide support. He was relatively new to the concept of more gentle physical contact but he didn't ever shy away. He soaked it in whenever it was present.

"No,"

His ears stood tall as he wondered if his companion would expand on the answer. The wolfdog wouldn't force him to but he was ready to hear the Governor out. He waited until the informational sharing was over before he dared to speak. Never too far. Said the canine who got lost and left behind. We see someday? He asked with a gentle smile before tacking on one last sentence. If Alarian want. Because heavens knew that Ulf couldn't boss anyone around for the life of him.

Never too far, his friend told him, and he desperately wished he could believe it. The sentiment was not lost on him— it never was— and he resisted the urge to draw close to the wolfdog once more. He worried about smothering him, honestly. Alarian was a boy starved for touch, for affection, for attention in general; it would have been easy to overwhelm one so willing to indulge him.
Yes, He agreed quietly, smiling a little sadly because he knew it would never happen. Never again would he take a dog as a traveling companion— no, Ulf would not travel at all if Alarian could help it. There were some mistakes he only needed to make once. I'd love that.
And then— then, he remembered that his mother would not be there anyway, perhaps none of his family would. All at once, his chest felt torn open, lungs tightening and burning. Tears welled in his eyes, uninvited and absolutely unwelcome to this party— but there nonetheless. He turned his face away, feeling the wetness quickly grow cold in his fur. More than anything, he was embarrassed now— but he could not speak, could not change the subject. His throat felt thick and constricted.

At first, he had been content and looking forward to the trip but then he noticed the shift in atmosphere. The way Alarian looked away without a word. He stayed still and silent for a moment. It hurt to keep watching, though. Ulf knew he needed to do something.

He lowered himself into a submissive position and crept a bit closer, his curled tail attempting to hide between his legs. If allowed so close, Ulf would aim to crawl underneath Alarian's chest - seek shelter between his front legs. Hopefully he could provide comfort this way for it was the one way he knew the best from his time in the north.

And then, quite suddenly, his friend was crawling underneath him. Alarian froze, but did not pull away, at once confused and a little concerned. He wasn't really used to being the one in this position...— ugh, okay, head out of the gutter Ali. Wrong way, anyway (did Ulf even know that?). Stifling a snort of amusement, he turned his attention back to trying to figure out what was actually going on.
Alarian failed a second time at deciphering what exactly the wolfdog was doing, but decided it was sweet nonetheless. Everything he did was sweet, so, it automatically fell under that category. He nipped and preened gently, and a little playfully, along Ulf's spine where he could reach it. With any other, it might have felt a bit awkward to Alarian— but he thought nothing of it with his friend, as he was already rather used to these things meaning little to Ulf.

omg i love ali

Their minds were in far different places but Ulf didn't know so he didn't mind.

If he was a cat he would have purred at the preening that Alarian gave him. Instead, he only managed a low rumble that built in his chest. It felt better than watching him look away. Was it selfish to use himself to distract the male? If the gold-kissed wolf was focused on the canine, then he didn't have time to be sad elsewhere. Ulf figured it was the easiest way to go about things as he didn't particularly like seeing Alarian as anything other than happy.

He tilted his head up with hopes of catching a glance at the male as his tail swayed gently.

Ali rn

Oh. Ulf couldn't have known, really, but that had to be the worst noise to make while underneath someone. At least, when that someone was very thirsty and very gay. Now Alarian was distinctly uncomfortable. All he could think was that he needed to get the wolfdog out from underneath him, but he was rooted to the spot.
He wasn't even sure how to do it without hurting his feelings. Would he have to explain? Would Ulf even get it? What if it made things really weird? But— nothing had made things weird between them so far, right? He recalled the thought he had had just minutes prior; 'would he ever know if Ulf understood if he kept treating him as if he didn't?'
Um, Ulf, Alarian began delicately, wondering what the hell he was doing. Y'know, you being underneath me like this... Ah, hell, he forgot the part where it would be weird for him, not just Ulf. He clamped his mouth shut, choosing to sit quietly in the hole he had dug himself.

Ulf? More like Clueless Dog. His experience was limited in this category and as such, pretty much everything was going right past him.

The wolfdog's good eye tried to focus on the angled features of Alarian's face as his voice broke the silence. Sharp ears stood tall at the sound of his name. The Governor had the wolfdog's full attention now because Ulf knew if his name was being used then it must be important.

Alarian not like? He questioned softly. The canine would not be offended (although he may be confused as Alarian had just been preening him) for he didn't want to do anything the gold-kissed wolf didn't approve of.

He couldn't help feeling guilty when Ulf asked if he didn't like it. It's not that I don't like it, Alarian blurted, then stopped, ears flattening. This was getting worse. Well, I mean— it's just... Oh god, oh no, oh no. It was getting more awkward by the moment, at least for Ali, and he could feel himself tensing.
Uhhh— look, I'mreallygay— and it's not like— I don't want to make it weird, I just— I know you don't mean it that way and— He stumbled over his attempted explanation, eventually coming to a slightly-panicked halt. Finally his frozen limbs started to work, and in his rush to put some distance between himself and the wolfdog he managed to slip. Alarian landed like a sack of potatoes, about a foot from Ulf— he had succeeded in getting the distance he needed, but the wind was knocked out of him now, and a deep panic brewed in his chest.

There was a lot the canine didn't grasp. Particularly the word Relaygay. He tried to wrack his brain for what it could mean but he was coming up empty. It was a bit frustrating to not understand what Alarian was trying to say but Ulf knew he hadn't learned all English words just yet. Perhaps this was a fancy one they hadn't needed back in the northern lands.

As he tried to make sense of everything, he suddenly realized that Alarian was away from him. In fact he was on the cold ground like a sack of bones. Ulf suddenly felt guilty. Whatever he had done had driven Alarian away instead of soothing whatever foul mood had overcome him in the first place. Ulf felt dreadfully awful knowing he hadn't helped.

The wolfdog found himself at a loss for what to say. He should have moved to help Alarian up but it was clear that - at least for now - the Governor didn't want him near. So he sunk to the ground, belly growing damp from the water that had been early splashed at him.

Ulf had managed to ruin a perfectly good trip. No wonder the Northerners had never bothered to find him.

It took him a moment to calm down, become aware of what was going on again. Slowly he rose to his feet; suddenly, his bad leg hurt. He swallowed hard, lifting it slightly from the ground as he turned to inspect Ulf. To see what damage he had done.
Yep, it was as bad as he thought. His heart dropped at the sight of his friend. I'm sorry... The words faded into a soft whine. He inched closer, but not too close, and lowered himself to be level with the wolfdog. I didn't mean to upset you— or make it weird, or anything.

He watched hesitantly, noting the way Alarian lifted a leg with care. His stomach pressed into the cool wet ground below him now. Not only had he ruined the trip - he had possibly ruined Alarian. Ulf knew he had blown it. The Sanctuary was going to be livid at the wolfdog for ruining their leader. His ears pressed hard against his crown.

The canine wanted to melt into the ground. It would be so much easier to just disappear with the wind right now. He couldn't bring himself to meet Alarian's gaze, settling to look at the space on the ground between them instead. Forgive me. He whispered in a soft plea because he knew it was not Alarian's fault for the situation that had risen, it was his own.

His words didn't seem to help. Alarian felt horrible, then; nausea rose up in him, accompanying the spreading ache in his chest and throat. He swallowed hard, eyes hot and prickling as he watched Ulf's distress. What could he say here? What could he do to make this better? Not knowing what else to do, he tentatively crept closer. If Ulf didn't shy away or stop him, he'd duck his head so it was below the wolfdog's and nose lightly under his chin. He whined softly, and allowed a brief stretch of silence before he spoke again.
Ulf, please don't be upset, The words were pleading, almost a whisper. You didn't do anything wrong, I'm just— I'm just an idiot.