Stone Circle Feeling Hotter Than a Glue Gun

her words had struck him, evident thanks to the telltale signs of fluttering ears and a twitching muzzle and yet...some deep, utterly shameful part of her was glad. as if this offered some sick assurance that he recognized the faults in what he said, how wrong he was with these plans to hurt easthollow, hurt her- unintentionally of course, but it was the only end result the trembling dove could see. and she couldn't take that- couldn't let the world steal yet another important person from her as she stood by helpless, no she'd do anything to stop it she'd--

guilt slapped her in the face however, at his wince. she shouldn't have brought clay into this, should have for once in her goddamn life learned to keep something to herself. restrain the impulsive swing of that sharpened tongue. she didn't want to hurt him, of course she didn't! she just, she- fuck she was just going in circles, she needed to calm down.

...she just couldn't bear the thought of being left alone again. that pain of losing those you cared about, as if someone had torn your organs free from their confines and yet you were still forced to walk around living and enduring that pain everyday rather than gain the peace accompanied by death. her paws pressed hard against the earth, she didn't have the strength to go through that again, having to survive it sounded worse than getting to die from it. 

silence prowled in the aftermath of her outburst, humming its croons of carefully spun deceit and doubt as her gaze remained trained on the coruscating surface of that waggish water. the adrenaline bustling throughout her was getting dizzying in its intensity, limbs trembling at its sheer vehemence. 

what did she even want him to say? the delicate threads spinning off from her spiel all seemed to end with responses as terrifying as each other.. she could swear that was bile she could taste at the back of her throat. 

and then west, composed, gentle, west; exploded. it was somewhat ironic how much of a shock this came to polaris, who let her unwieldy emotions snatch the reins of her control panel and deal fits of eruptive outbursts to west interaction after interaction. but never had he returned such unruly fervour, never.

sacuer-like look skips to the pierce of that flustered stare, shock rendering her strangely innocent in those seconds of surprise. but then she caught ahold of herself and it passed, keen glare narrowing on him as she straightened before him with a lash of her tail. he couldn't lose anyone else??? her heart roared a frantic symphony, energy seeming potent enough to break her apart from within if she didn't do something to expel its anger, no, its terror. and just as pearly fangs were peaking out, lips curling as words raced to be the first to crash free from that gritted jaw- he launched a fucking bomb at her.

"i love you"

she staggered, physically staggered as if someone had shoved her. if anyone told you that time seemed to stand still, that you had a moment of complete clarity in a moment like this- they were fucking wrong. it slammed into the whirling mess of her mind like an asteroid, the jumble of emotion and adrenaline passing it around with terrifying speed--

'i love you' 'i love you' 'he loves you' 'he loves me??' 'love, love love??' 

her eyes were wide with despair as they bore into him, and she screamed "YOU CAN'T JUST FUCKING DO THAT WEST-" ending as a pathetically hitched sob, unable to even let his entire name grace her tongue as her tail lashed its distress. "h-how COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?"

ears pinned, tears continuing their relentless flow. "YOU SAY I DON'T GET IT?? I'VE LOST EVERYONE, YOU'RE ALL I'VE GOT AND THEN YOU-- YOU TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME BUT YOU'RE GOING TO LEAVE ME??" she dared a shaky step forward, blinking rapidly "how does that make fucking sense, i--" she trailed off, slumping down into a sit as eyes fell to her paws. 

'how am i supposed to say i love you too, open my heart to that if you plan on abandoning me to this pain.'

'how could you be so cruel west.'