Heron Lake Plateau So there's this puzzle I work on endlessly

Set May 27

 

Raven was going to have Quixote's kids. 

The thought of it had been stuck in her head since Tegan had delivered the message at Drageda. She sat in the mud along the lake's shore where she'd returned yet again to check in on the crab she'd brought back, but this time she saw no signs of it. The wet sand beneath her was warm from the sun's light, and she dragged the claws of one foot through the mud this way and that, before packing the mud back down and doing it again- as though making her own zen garden. She didn't realize it, but she was a lot more anxious about the entire thing than she thought. If Raven was having Quixote's kids, it meant that there was something going on between the two of them. 

She frowned. Eventually Raven would have the pups- would some of them look like him? Would they look like her? Would they look like a combination of the two of them? That idea was a bit ridiculous- both wolves had black fur, so any black-furred babies would look like both of them. Then Raven would be the mother, and Quixote would be the father, and he'd be busy with them all the time. And they'd grow up- only a year younger than her, or something like that- but it all seemed wrong. She kept drawing lines in the mud, and then packing the mud down, making it smoothe, then starting again. 

She wasn't sure how she felt- or why she felt that way, but still, she couldn't help but frown.

Things were... Chaotic, where Screech was concerned. No sooner had he begun to remedy a relationship with his sister, he'd also worked to suitably destroy any hope of one with the non-Redhawks of the pack; he knew he was in the wrong for reacting the way he did to Clover, but he couldn't accept the wrongness, not entirely. He was set on living his life the way he'd always done: kicking, screaming, and ruffling everyone's feathers along the way.

Today though, things had started off without a hitch. He'd woken to birdsong while dozing in the tall grasses alongside the lake. Screech had found a rocky segment of plateau that hadn't been submerged recently by any flooding, so it was a good place as any to take a nap. He'd gotten up, stretched, nibbled on a bone he'd grabbed from a cache, and been on his way to do a lazy patrol when the shine of Niamh's gilded silhouette caught in the light.

He squinted, turning his good eye towards her for better chances, and then decided to close the gap. Whatever awkwardness persisted after his previous encounter with her had been forgotten — rumor had spread that she'd been off on some sort of secret mission, and Screech was curious about it. Yet as he approached, she didn't seem too pleased. He took a chance and called, what up buttercup?

What did it even mean, that Quixote was the father of Raven's pups? Maybe she'd asked him to do it, but they weren't actually together. Maybe it meant nothing at all, and maybe he'd have nothing to do with the kids...But then again, maybe he'd see them and then fall in love with them, and fall in love with her too, and then what would Niamh do? She was in the middle of muddling through those thoughts- and the mud, too, when someone called out to her, but even so, it took her a moment to respond and realize someone was actually talking to her. 

She slowly turned her head, but her eyes took longer to peel away from the ground where she'd been raking patterns in the mud, lifting to Screech. "Oh, hey." She greeted, albeit somewhat flatly. She couldn't remember what he'd just said to her, so she instead responded with a question. "Screech. What's up?" Though she didn't exactly sound terribly convincing or interested. The frown lifted a bit, but the distraction was still clear in the somewhat vague tone in her voice, and look in her eyes.

Something had her distracted. He hoped he wasn't the cause, but that was a bit self-centered even for Screech; so he approached without issue, but made sure to avoid stepping in to the mud. Something about the foul smelling muck didn't sit right with him (maybe the fact it was fowl-smelling, y'know, like bird poop?). His head tilted slightly as he came closer. You.. okay? You seem distracted. Something happen on your top secret away mission?

He wasn't much of a gossip (and hell, he had no knowledge that she had been off with Tegan — he'd be leaping to conclusions if that was the case,) but Screech was curious all the same. What had her mind so occupied?

Niamh's gaze and focus sharpened considerably once attention was drawn to the fact that she wasn't really paying much attention. Her gaze lifted to his, now much clearer, and her brow furrowed slightly, ears tilting back, slightly ashamed that she'd been caught in such a dull and distant mood. Sheepishly, she lowered her gaze to the ground and tried to shrug it off, hoping for a feeble minute that he'd simply believe her. "Yeah. I mean, no." She said, psugins for a moment. "I mean- yeah, I'm fine and no, the mission went fine. Tegan just had to deliver a message to someone in another pack, about Raven and Quixote, and all their stuff." 

Her tone might not have insinuated too much- if anything, the somewhat vague tone had returned, and she'd made sure not to put too much emphasis on either Raven's or Quixote's name. She slumped, then, and with a small huff, flopped to her belly on the ground, laying her head on her paws and flattening her ears. She shrugged one shoulder and frowned. "Shit's just...The way it is. I dunno." She said, pointedly avoiding eye contact and staring out across the lake.

The distraction didn't lift immediately. She answered, and strangely enough, the vagueness made him feel an intense (but brief) sensation of jealousy of all things. Once she clarified that things went well though — and glossed over Tegan's involvement — Screech felt a little better. Which was.. weird.

But on the topic of the new alphas: Yeah it's crazy that Towhee stepped down. I can't imagine why she'd do that, he said in full seriousness, keeping the edge of sarcasm out of his voice for the time being. He had his suspicions. Maybe Towhee realized how fucked up her choices had been, or maybe she just wanted to take a nice little siesta. But back to Niamh — why did she look so mopey?

What's got you so down though? He blurted, and ducked around her so that he took up her attention rather than letting her stare at the lake. I think Raven will be a good Alpha, but he didn't know anything about this Quixote guy. Come to think of it, —what do you mean all their stuff? Squint.

For a minute, she thought she'd be able to get away without having to talk about the actual issue she had. Screech spoke about Towhee, and that was a relief. It was almost a distraction- if they could just talk about Towhee, things would be fine. They could avoid her sore spot altogether. She wouldn't even have to think about it, and fend off someone who might potentially pry for information, or try to cover things up with a lie- and Niamh was terrible at lying. She tilted her head thoughtfully from side to side before she spoke- but when she did, her tone was still somewhat flat and disinterested. "It's probably hard being alpha, and even harder doing it alone. I can see why she did it." She said. "Plus having Finley as a beta was probably tough too. There'd be all that extra pressure to make the right decisions or she'd like...not-so-passive-aggresively eat your face off."

Screech then began to pry a bit, and she couldn't stop the fur along the back of her neck from lifting. She felt heat in her cheeks, and wondered how she could get through this without spilling too much. She needed Screech not to know- Raven was his sister, after all. She had to play it cool. "Oh- well, by 'their stuff' I mean we just had to tell Wildfire that Raven and Quixote are mates, and that they'll be having kids...I'm...I'm assuming you knew that already?" She asked, hoping she wasn't spoiling some sort of surprise. As to why she was down, if she simply ignored the question, it would go away- right?

As soon as she mentioned that thing about Raven and Quixote all he heard was static. His mouth dropped open slowly, eye widening, and then.. Screech huffed, and started to laugh. It was quiet giggling at first (Raven was pregnant????) and then a little more drawn out (Quixote and Raven...????!!) until he was sagging back on his haunches and the air was full of obnoxious, panic-driven laughter. This was no joke. But what really stuck in his mind was one thought that he couldn't contain even through his hyperventilating: those kids might be his kids?????????????????

Well wasn't it her lucky day. Screech seemed so shell-shocked by the news she felt absolutely certain she wouldn't have to talk about her own feelings...But was it worth it? I mean...Look at his face. He looked shocked at first, so she felt sort of bad- Raven was his sister, after all, so maybe she ought to have been the one to tell him. Her ears flicked back. "I'm sorry, I thought you knew-" She said, but was cut off when his laughter grew and turned somewhat maniacal. She cracked a slightly confused grin, but it faded when he continued to laugh until he could hardly breathe- and she'd be damned if there wasn't a look of panic in his eyes as well. 

This wasn't happy laughter anymore. This was panic. 

She sat up, then, carefully, and looked up at him, unsure of what to say to him. "Hey...You...You OK?" She asked, hoping he could calm the eff down and use his words. This wasn't the reaction she was expecting whatsoever...No one reacted like that to the news that they'd be an uncle...Especially when the family was already so prolific to begin with.

I'm sorry, I thought you knew— came Niamh's voice behind the haze of his high-pitched laughter; it came in endless waves, rising in pitch until he couldn't hear anything anymore but the pounding of the blood in his ears. She looked concerned. Screech, on the other hand, found it harder and harder to breathe the more he tried. He could inhale fine but his chest was starting to hurt. It felt like his lungs had seized up and refused to decompress — and soon enough he was freaking out over that, instead of the news that his sister might be having his kids.

He grit his teeth in a grin, but soon it was a grimace. He tried to exhale, yet every time he opened his mouth and gesticulated an exhalation, nothing came out of him. Things were starting to get a bit murky. If he didn't get air soon (or calm the fuck down) he might just pass out — but how would he explain any of this to Niamh? She couldn't know that he'd slept with his own sister — but if Raven's kids — his kids — if those things made it to term then — if they looked like him —

nope, there was absolutely no chill left in Screech.

It became obvious, after a few moments, that Screech wasn't able to breathe. The wild look in his eyes was still there, but the laughter and smiles were gone, replaced with a macabre grin as he tried to suck in and expell air, but it didn't appear to be working. Flattening her ears, Niamh stood, then, hesitantly shifting from one foot to the other, before she shook her head and did what she thought was best for Screech- and pounced him, aiming to knock him to the ground. 

All she could figure was that he needed to be shocked out of whatever the fuck he was going through. Niamh was no medic, but she figured if nothing else, her weight on top of him might squish some of the air out of him, allowing him to breathe in again, and laying down might keep him from passing out. It might not have been the most comfortable thing in the world for him- but she was out of options, and had no experience dealing with someone who was hyperventilating.

He couldn't breathe.
He couldn't think.
At the very least, he couldn't talk, and that was probably good considering his track record.

And then Niamh was pushing him over and sitting across him, far from the comfort she had once bestowed with her embrace. This time she was putting more pressure on his chest and sides—like she wanted him to burst—and for a few seconds Screech thought, this is how I die.

Whatever she did—whether it was her sitting on him or the fact he'd just collided with the ground so hard that it smacked some sense in to his stupid lungs—he let out all that pent-up air once he hit the dirt. Screech sputtered and gagged, and this time it wasn't filled with nonsensical laughter. His chest hurt. He hadn't popped or suffocated though, so that was a plus.

Almost as soon as she got him to the ground, he let out a whoosh of air, and started breathing again, so she pulled herself off him, and lay down beside him while he regained his breath, just in case it happened again. She watched him warily out of the corner of her eye, so he could regain his composure and calm down. Something she'd said had definitely triggered something- and she didn't know enough about ailments or medicines to really guess what had just happened; she'd never exactly seen someone lose their cool like that before. 

After a few moments had passed, and his breathing slowed and returned mostly to normal, she looked him over, and gave him a gentle nudge. "You OK?" She asked tentatively, hoping he wouldn't just go into another shitfit again.

His chest still hurt but at least he could breathe now, and he concentrated for a bit to do that. When his pulse had resumed a more normal pace he nodded, slowly, awkwardly, and tried to push her off of him. Screech didn't know what the hell that attack had been side from sheer panic (which he was still feeling) and he couldn't do much to alleviate it — talking about it wouldn't work too well. It wasn't like he wanted Niamh to know where his naughty bits had been. Still, she would no doubt inquire to some kind of explanation.

As the boy lurched and got to his feet (and stood there with a bit of a sway), he came up with a fast explanation: Sorry, I — I dunno what that was. I thought you were kidding at first but — I dunno, I thought it was so funny to think of Raven as a — a mum, he swallowed a lump in his throat as the words slid thickly from his tongue like rotten molasses, trying not to gag on the very idea of being a dad or Raven -- and kids -- he felt his pulse begin to race again and had to turn away, feigning a small coughing fit that fit in with the rest of his episode.

He had to think fast to get out of this. Are you sure Quixote is the — the — y'know, dad? He asked carefully, and then turned to face Niamh with a look that wasn't exactly guilty, but more... Cautious. Like he knew something he shouldn't. It wasn't right to throw Raven under the proverbial bus, but Screech was looking out for himself in these moments. We.. y'know I really shouldn't say anything, I can't... Raven's my sister, he was far more composed now and hoped his leading comments would bait Niamh in to asking some questions; in the mean time, his vague comments would buy him some time to come up with a good lie.

Screech moved away from her and stood up, but he honestly didn't look terribly steady, so with a look that said 'don't bitch or think about moving away,' she moved to his side, just in case he had another...Whatever attack. She still wasn't sure what the fuck that was all about- it looked like panic, but the laughter had really thrown her off; he'd started with laughter before his breathing seemed to shut down, but even when he'd first started to chuckle, there was a wild look in his eyes, far from amusement, which was what she should have seen. Something was off.

And something continued to be off when he tried to explain himself. She turned her ears back and raised one eyebrow, refusing to believe that he thought it was funny that Raven was pregnant. It wasn't funny- this sort of thing happened. Unless Raven had been completely antisocial, hateful or awkward, it wasn't that hard to believe. She had to have something going for her if Quixote had wanted her. Screech turned his face away and coughed and her suspicion grew. She eyed him, even though he was avoiding eye contact. There was something still very fishy about his behavior; and she'd never known him to be anything but unapologetically blunt. 

When he questioned Quixote's role as being the father, she snorted. "Well, duh." She said. "They're together. Why would he go with her if they were someone else's kids?" She asked. "Besides- everyone else in the pack is related to her, aren't they? That'd be like...Pretty sick incest..." She said, and trailed off. She looked at him, with a hard stare, and lowered her voice. "Wait...You know something." She said, and moved from his side to face him directly. Her ears were still pointed back, and the fur along the nape of her neck bristled slightly. Could it be possible that Quixote wasn't the father? That he was just covering for someone? "Why'd you panic? What do you know?" She asked, almost desparately. Screech had been hiding something- she knew it. And her heart was in her throat; someone, anyone else could be the father of those pups, meaning that Quixote hadn't done it, and maybe...Just maybe...Things could be different.

Okay so the look on her face was one thing, but hearing that word spoken aloud  (which he hadn't heard before today but absolutely understood) made his stomach churn. This was what he'd wanted - questions - but now he really had to perform or this would be another case of shoving foot in mouth and Screech couldn't afford that.

Fuck, okay, I... I shouldn't say anything, his voice dropped and became quiet, which was odd, but he came to a conclusion hastily and explained: After they came in and took over, y'know how I fought with Towhee? Well, I needed some help after - so I went lookin' for Raven. this was where his abilities would be tested; Screech needed to be believable or this could backfire. He sighed and seemed reluctant to continue, but after a second he added, I found her with some guy I had never seen before. I thought he was a new recruit - or at least someone who had appeared after I had left - and she looked uh... Occupied.

He would have wiggled his eyebrows but instead faced Niamh and gave her a pointed look, then glanced down bashfully. I didn't know what to say so I left them alone. But later, I asked her about it a couple days ago... And we argued. I threatened to tell everyone about it, but like... I was just being a dick, I wasn't serious. That part was true; his conviction grew strong as he spoke. He had tried to blackmail Raven and their fight was pretty explosive.

After giving Niamh a second to take that in, he asked: Are you... Are you sure Quixote is the father? What if shes just... y'know, using him to cover her ass? You didn't see her face when we were taking - I thought she was gonna chase me out!

Niamh leaned in when he appeared to be letting her in on a secret. Anything- she'd take anything. Her heart raced, and she willed him to confess that someone else- anyone else, she didn't give a shit who- was the father of those pups. Sure, it still meant Quixote liked Raven enough to cover for her- but at least it didn't mean that he liked her enough to actually...You know...Impregnate her. The thought of that made Niamh feel woozy, and a bit sick to her stomach. She nodded in response, following along with him as he told her the story of when he'd come upon Raven, apparently with someone else. 

He was being slightly, vague, though- and it didn't set right with her. "Occupied?" She asked. Her heart leapt. "Like...Flirting or..." She said, raising her eyebrows pointedly. This was dangrous territory- and she needed to know the extent of the damage. "What did he look like? Is he still in the pack or is he gone?" She asked, then. She wanted to know everything- just so she could piece things together right. 

Her gaze hardened when Screech admitted he'd confronted his sister, and a low growl purred in her throat. Well now. Not only was Raven carrying on with someone else, and getting Quixote to cover for her, but she was obviously not willing to step up and be responsible or accountable. She licked her lips. "I don't like this." She said. "What should we do? Does Quixote know? I mean..." She said, and trailed off, as a realization hit her. "Shit. Shit shit shitbiscuits." She said, and felt her heart sink. "If he does know, then he's covering." And hadn't actually impregnated Raven, She thought. "But if he doesn't know...Then she cheated on him." It also meant that if he believed he was the father, then obviously, they'd had sex, which concerned her. Selfishly, she hoped he was simply covering.

She had questions and that was a good sign, but even as he opened his big stupid lying mouth to spread more garbage, Screech saw something behind her eyes - something like hope - which struck him as odd but also, in an awful way, useful.

He shook his head and recoiled from the questions like they might bite him. I dunno Niamh. I don't wanna get in trouble - I mean fuck, I thought it was Elwood at first If I'm being honest, but then when I saw what was going on - obviously it couldn't have been. That was pushing it; two birds and one stone, or whatever, but he hastily recanted the potential accusation by correcting with, No, no, I... I don't think I have seen him before or since. Maybe she just went for the first guy she saw? Do girls do that? Their -- uh, hormones or... Whatever?

The boy shrugged and shook his head quickly, as if to rid himself of that nasty stuff. Ew, girls!

Elwood? Like Screech, she brushed off the notion, and simply assumed he meant he'd seen a grey wolf, but not one he really recognized. Grey, she thought; there were a tonne of grey wolves around...His description wasn't particularly helpful- but she'd keep an eye out for grey, male wolves hanging around the borders, in case he came back for a second time...Or third- or however many times he and Raven had carried on. She grimaced and shuddered. Her ears were still turned back, though. What were they supposed to do?

She gave him a glare when he asked about females, and she knew what he was talking about. Honestly, it ruffled her feathers a bit to talk about it, to a guy. She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "It's not like we're zombies or something, Screech." She said. "We don't just go for whoever comes along," She said, her voice wvering only slightly, as of course, she'd never experienced what it was like to lust uncontrollably. She glanced at him for a moment, a new question coming to mind. "Why? Have you ever...You know...Done it?" She asked hesitantly.

Crises averted, or so it seemed at first. She retorted and turned the conversation away from Raven and towards all of womankind, and he felt a flood of relief temporarily.

Like... done... that? His brows went up and he put some emphasis in there, then shrugged - not that he wanted to brag (or go waltzing down memory lane since his experiences were pretty awful) - but he nodded and shrugged, nonchalantly murmuring, Kinda... yeah. Once. Um, have you?

She ashamedly nodded, when  he asked what she'd meant. And she felt her cheeks flush when he admitted that he had- albeit, just 'kinda,' whatever that meant. How one could kind of do the deed was beyond her, and he would have been able to read that on her face. She was slightly skeptical of him, and assumed by what he said that he hadn't. She considered lying, and fidgeted for a moment, before she briefly shook her head and straightened herself up a bit, almost indignantly. "No." She answered, avoiding eye contact. She didn't like the fact that he'd gone further than her. 

"What do you mean, 'kinda,'?" She asked, turning the heat back on him. "How can you 'kinda' do it?" she asked. She was actually genuinely serious- was there a way she could sort of do it- but not completely?

The turn in conversation made things go from panicky and awkward to just straight up unsettling, and it felt more like he was talking to Redshank about stuff than to sweet Niamh; maybe his brain made this connection just to keep him sane in the ensuing moments? Whatever. He did feel like he could talk to Niamh easier than most, this was just pushing things a little - and he wasnt sure how to feel about it. What if he said the wrong thing and she caught him in a lie? Or if she learned actual truths? Screech didn't know what was worse.

He shrugged again and fumbled, Well it wasn't... We didn't mean for it to happen, and... I dunno, she wasn't happy. I might've done it wrong or... Crap, she was probably getting the wrong idea but Screech didn't know what to say. Not like -- I didn't like, hurt her, or anything -- fuck, nevermind.

Fortunately for Screech, Niamh was biased- and as such, she was inclined to give him and chance and believe he could do no wrong. Like the other women in his life who had gotten the wrong idea about him, it seemed like this other one did too. He admitted that he hadn't hurt her, so she wasn't given reason to believe that he'd intended to do something without her permission...All she could asume was that they'd been swept up in a romantic moment and things had just...Not worked out, and both had been frustrated about it. For some reason, though, she felt slightly jealous- but satisfied, in the end, when he admitted, basically, that they hadn't exactly done it. 

"Was it...What did it feel like?" She asked, then. Her ears flicked back. "Do like...Have most people our age done it?" She asked quietly, feeling slightly vulnerable. Was she so far behind the others? What about Tegan, Clover and Fiadh? They were only a few months younger- had they already beaten her to the chase too?

Somehow he'd become Niamh's window in to the adult universe of sex, which wasn't a good feeling (and probably wouldn't amount to any healthy understanding for either of them), and Screech was growing a little more flustered as the conversation wore on. He wanted to abort — just, control-alt-delete this entire moment of his life. It wasn't as awkward as the event in question though, and kept Niamh focused on things aside from Raven, and kept him from freaking out about potentially being a father in the back of his own mind, so... Sure, lets just continue this teenage interrogation, why not.

I dunno! Came his first answer, his gut instinct telling him to shut down the conversation; and he was feeling more like his old self, pre-panic, so his response was sharp and to the point: I don't think so. It — uh, felt nice, he wanted to say, but found himself too embarrassed to complete the thought let alone turn it in to words. I thought it went OK.

His ears fell back against his head as he spoke though, and then Screech corrected himself: She said it wasn't good and we kinda, um, had a falling out after that. Haven't seen her around since— which had some odd parallels to the fabrication he'd fed to Niamh only moments ago, he realized abruptly. The boy cleared his throat though, hoping she didn't notice, and blurted awkwardly, It makes you all warm and fuzzy and like, connected, and just, good, and, I mean, I guess it wasn't very good for real because we split after — and tired, I remember being really tired too, like I'd had all this pent up energy one minute and could sleep for a month the next minute.

Was that enough? He looked frazzled, his fur spiked wildly from being thrust in to the dirt earlier, and the embarrassment causing his ears to slick back and then radar about nervously; Screech didn't really know what to say but hoped she'd stop with the questions soon. Then again, he could divert her attention with a swift question of his own: Are you waiting? For like, someone special, or something?

At first, he seemed to want to shut the topic down completely, and she realized what she'd been asking, and felt ashamed. This was something she should be talking to Towhee about...But then again, Towhee had confessed that she'd never liked someone- so she wouldn't have the answers to these questions. She would have to be the one to tell Towhee about these things, she imagined; but hopefully, Towhee wouldn't end up as messed up emotionally as she was in order to try and figure things out. Her heart still pounded, and she was willing to take a chance and ask the questions that were on the tip of her tongue- she had nothing else to lose. Quixote was out of reach, and possibly had a mate who had cheated on him- but what could she do about it? Nothing. She needed to take all her feelings out on something. 

As he went on, though, he seemed to relax, and actually described, a bit, what it was like. She frowned thoughtfully, not sure what to think of it. She couldn't exactly imagine Screech feeling warm or fuzzy at all- so if something could make him admit to that, then it had to be good. It sounded like it'd been better for him than it had been for whoever the girl was- and she was out of the picture. She didn't say anything in reply to his description, but looked up when he asked her a somewhat personal question. 

He looked frazzled- not quite panicked, but definitely uncomfortable, and for the first time in a while, she half-smiled. He almost looked cute, when he wasn't quite so cocky. She shrugged, blithely. "Not really. I don't really see the point in waiting for someone special. I could be waiting forever, then," She quipped.