Blacktail Deer Plateau it's already burning

Hadrian obviously had no nice feelings for Reyna which on the one hand Saarthal was glad about, simply because she wouldn't know what to do if the three of them all fell in love with the same orphan girl (their parents probably wouldn't be too impressed with that), but on the other hand, his blatant disapproval hurt like a dozen knives to the heart. Which was stupid because of course he would disapprove, he should disapprove. There was nothing to approve of - Saarthal and Reyna had always been the affair, not the official partnership. Still - despite Hadrian's words, Saarth could not help but wonder how Reyna was, if she still thought about her, if she missed her...she never had closure after all. Reyna...Reyna had been so captivating. Her heart hurt just thinking about it. Granted, the girl had fucked her over many times and - actually yeah, Hadrian had a point. He had a massive valid point which massively invalidated her own points. Didn't mean she liked it much, though.
"I love her," Saarthal mumbled instead, quiet and under her breath and sad. It was so hard to let go of the past. Not when she no longer had anyone beside her, much less a girlfriend. In fact...she'd never had a girlfriend after Reyna, if Reyna even counted. Saarth shook her head, swallowing. "Do you think Aeneas will forgive me?" she asked instead. Her brother throwing himself into war was not a good sign, predictable but not a good sign. What if he had died? Because of her? Saarth couldn't live with that. Not that she could live with herself much these days. "I never meant - he's my brother," she found herself gazing wide-eyed at poor Junior who really shouldn't have to deal with this, "I never wanted to hurt him. You know that right? I left because -" Saarthal gestured uselessly, but a sneering voice, high-pitched and laughing whispered in her ear: Liar. You knew the affair would hurt him and you continued anyway. You're a selfish little cunt who chose a bitch over her brother. And look where we are. 
Maybe the most telling thing was the fact that her instinctual response to that thought had singularly been: She's not a bitch. Guilt seeped like poison through her veins. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to listen to this. How are you?" She smiled softly; the facade was easy to put on now.