Moonspear when the moon breaks

AW! maybe a @Rannoch ?

The weight of Galaxy's loss was leaning on his shoulders heavily, but there was little that Charon could do to change a thing. He'd gotten angry but it had changed nothing, and now it was the time to be sad. He sat on a snow-covered ledge of the Moonspear, not too far up the mountain that night and stared up at the stars that Galaxy used to love so much.

Sorrowful eyes peered into the depths of the night and for the first time since his daughter's death, Charon wept as he thought of his beautiful little girl and how he would never see her grow up to be a kind and loving young lady.

Rannoch's schedule had been usurped by the recent tragedy in Moonspear; he stayed up later than usual to accommodate his packmates that sought counsel under the stars. Although these sessions were not often planned, Rannoch usually happened upon his packmates, and their conversation went from their by-chance encounters. 

A broken sob caught Rannoch's attention, and he turned in the direction that it came from. When Rannoch sought the source of the noise, his eyes fell upon Charon' hunched silhouette. It was jarring to the Epsilon to see the Alpha so shaken but, Charon's remorse was more than understandable; it was hard for Rannoch to imagine the amount of pain he was in. 

Turning his attention towards Charon, Rannoch approached slowly and chuffed to alert the Alpha of his approach. He stopped at a comfortable distance away from Charon and held himself in a manner that showed respect for Charon's rank. 

"Charon," Rannoch greeted softly, "Would you mind if I joined you?" 

Charon thought he was alone when he started to cry. The world was a blur and nothing seemed to matter much at that moment but everything changed when he heard the chuff. Shoulders were heaved up straight and head heightened. Face was forcefully pulled away from sorrow and scrunched into a more neutral expression as he turned to look to see that Rannoch was headed his way.

"Hey," said Charon coolly, though he heard in Rannoch's voice that he likely had seen him cry. How could he not? He decided to pretend it had never happened to save both of them the awkwardness. "No, go ahead." He tried to find a quick subject they could talk about so that he wouldn't have to be asked about his sorrow or told about Galaxy. He looked up at the night sky and wondered if she was up there and if she was, if she'd met all of the wolves that were important in his life that had passed.

"Have you seen Julia lately?" he asked, deciding to stick to the daughter-subject but going a safer route. He hadn't seen her a few days and it was unlike her to go exploring all alone. "It's only been a few days, but she didn't say she was going out exploring..." Rannoch'd comforted Julia at the scene with Galaxy, so maybe he would know something about her whereabouts now, or anything she'd said. He couldn't bear to lose another daughter.

When Rannoch's request was accepted, he proceeded with caution; the memory of Charon's flashing teeth had lingered, and Rannoch felt apprehensive about being in his presence again. 

When  Rannoch sat beside Charon, the Alpha inquired about his knowledge of Korei's whereabouts. "I haven't seen her for a few days," Rannoch admitted, and he looked to Charon with a look of concern. The last time that he had seen Korei had been the night of Galaxy's death. Although he had attempted to re-connect with her, they had never crossed paths at the right time. 

"When did you last see her?" He asked, wondering how long they had all gone without realizing that Korei wasn't around.

Charon nodded when Rannoch said that he hadn't seen Julia for a few days — Charon had the same experience. He frowned and agreed, "A few days here, too. I thought she'd gone exploring at first, as her scent trail moved away from the borders, but she's not that much of an explorer usually. I just hope nothing's gone wrong." Charon was terrified that Julia would get hurt; she was clearly not the most competent wolf around and she was naive to boot so it would be easy for anyone with bad intentions to derail her.

"I've looked 'round but I lost the trail just outside the borders. Between her being upset about Galaxy and that murderous Redhawk wolf still out there..." He trailed off with a worried frown. Charon didn't think Julia would just leave the pack, not even in the wake of Galaxy's death, so he was sure that something bad must've happened. Especially after Redhawk had killed Galaxy, he was worried what else they were capable of. And who knew where this Titmouse character was hiding out? What if he'd found Julia and hurt her?

Rannoch had never considered Korei to be much of an explorer. From what he had observed, it seemed as though she tended to stick close to home. Rannoch frowned, unable to hide his concern. "I wonder what caused her to leave," he wondered as his eyes regarded the land that sprawled out before them. There were so many places that she had gone off to, and Rannoch couldn't even begin to consider where she had gone. 

"Have to asked Amekaze about the last time she saw Korei Julia?" Rannoch asked as he turned his attention back to Charon.

Charon didn't really want to think of Julia as having left just yet. He liked to think she just needed some time and that she'd return soon. He shook his head and shared, "She was close to Galaxy. Maybe she just needed— needs some time alone." He frowned, hoping he was not being overly worried and that she'd be just fine in the end. He feared for the truth of it. "Ame hasn't seen her lately either." Last time they spoke it wasn't feeling very urgent yet and they had both been burdened by grief, too; Charon a little more outwardly than Ame, which said a lot considering he had never been good at expressing himself in these situations either. Everything just always seemed to come out as anger.

"I'm sure she'll be fine," he said, trying to sound nonchalant but the tone of his voice betrayed that he was worried. "Anyway, I... How have you been with all of this going on?" Charon was dying to change the subject, since he didn't want to worry and didn't want to feel a knot in his stomach. He just wanted things to be alright, or pretend they were, if only for a little bit.

Rannoch nodded at what Charon offered, and he couldn't help but agree. "That's very true," he acknowledged. "And although my situation wasn't the same as Korei's, I remember needing space after finding out that my parents had died. I kept to myself for a while, and it took me some time to come to terms with it." After all, Korei and Galaxy had been close, and Rannoch could understand if she needed time to herself. "I'm sure she's fine, too." Rannoch agreed and flashed the Alpha a smile. 

When asked about he was doing, Rannoch paused to contemplate the Alpha's inquiry. "I've been okay," he replied. "I've been staying out later to see if anybody needs anybody to talk to; I know how hard it can be to sleep when you've got so much on your mind." he paused, his expression hopeful. "I hope that I've helped some with their grief." After all, it was his job to keep up pack morale. 

"And you?" Rannoch asked, hoping he wasn't too brash in his inquiry. "Is there anything you need to get off your chest?" 

Charon nodded, though he didn't think Rannoch and Julia's situations were similar at all. "Yeah, she'll be fine," he repeated again, as if he needed to keep telling himself that. If she would get herself into a spot of trouble Charon would be pissed off; as if losing one daughter wasn't enough. He thought of Eshe as she was mentioned and found that he missed her too, and having a friendly pack nearby. He wouldn't have thought twice about owning Redhawk Caldera's ass if he knew they had a massive force together, but as things were it was just one pack against the other.

Charon listened absently to Rannoch's words about how he had been. He nodded mutedly, though he doubted that anyone could alleviate the grief left in Galaxy's death and he thought it cocky that anyone thought they could. It made him feel frustrated but in time Charon had learned not to always speak his mind. He just murmured a "hmm-mm" and listened.

When Rannoch directly spoke to him in the context of grief Charon felt startled, as if he had been caught out, highlighted when he didn't want. "What?" If there was anything he needed off his chest. "Oh." He stared out into the starry night for a silent and long minute or so, not sure what he should say. He didn't want to talk. He wanted Galaxy back. In lack of that, revenge. Kill all of Redhawk Caldera at their weakest, kill their children in their sleep, punish them for murdering his precious daughter. "No, I'm fine." A lie, of course, and they both knew it, but he didn't think talking to Rannoch would help, and since Rannoch came across as possessing the same soft qualities of Eshe Charon didn't want to bother him with his vengeful thoughts either.

Given what he knew about Charon, Rannoch had anticipated that his offer would be turned down. Although he was prepared for rejection, Rannoch hadn't expected the startled reply. His head and ears lowered, and he averted his eyes as he feared for the worst. 

Moments passed, and Rannoch was still breathing. When he realized that Charon's exclamation came from a place of genuine surprise, he relaxed and turned his gaze back to the Alpha. "Okay," he returned with a wave of his tail and left the conversation at that. 

"I.. actually have something I've meant to ask you," Rannoch admitted, changing the subject. He then hesitated for a moment, thinking of the best way to word his inquiry; he hoped the subject matter wasn't sensitive in light of the recent tragedy. "How did you know you were ready to be a father?"

'Okay', and with that it was done for Charon. He was glad that Rannoch gave the subject rest, didn't push any further, as he didn't feel like talking about it. Talking wouldn't bring his little girl back so he didn't think it was useful to do so at all. A short silence lingered between them before Rannoch started about something he wanted to ask. An ear flicked in Rannoch's direction and he turned his head slightly to listen, even though truthfully, Charon wanted to just be alone.

Charon felt incredulous at Rannoch actually breaching a subject like this at a mournful period such as this. He felt anger, but it soon simmered into a weird sort of defeat he didn't remember ever feeling before. His voice sounded annoyed when he answered: "As the Alpha pair, it was the only right thing to do." He hadn't ever considered not having pups. "I never thought 'oh, I wanted to be a father', I just knew that it was what I should do to pass on my superior genes." The words were spoken with no humour to them, as he fully believed this. He had been Alpha at a year old and though it'd taken some time before they could have pups because of that, Charon knew that he was always meant to be a strong wolf in any hierarchy until he was too old to be — it would be a waste not to pass that on. The proof for his theory was easily visible in the triplets.

When Rannoch had inquired about fatherhood, he had not connected Galaxy's death to the subject matter. This had been naive of Rannoch, and he regretted the question the moment that his Alpha began to respond. As Charon elaborated, Rannoch dropped his posture and flattened his ears, knowing that he wasn't in the most favorable position at the moment. 

"I understand," he replied with a nod, "A-And I'm sorry to bring that question up, that really was in poor taste on my end." Rannoch frowned then, unable to mask his shame.

Charon had expected a plethora of reactions, but not really this one. He didn't think he had shown any signs of wanting submission (as a matter of fact, Charon didn't even realise that his tone had been quite so angry — he thought himself very good at hiding his emotions, but obviously he wasn't at all). He felt himself grow only more annoyed, wishing that Rannoch would not be knocked off-guard so easily; it reminded him of Julia a bit... Which was also another point of worry that was festering in the background. Charon didn't think he was being unreasonable in any way, but he also had no clue how to respond to this, just as he had always been with Julia when she got like that: torn between a kick in the butt or a fatherly hug, awkwardly landing in the middle and being not-very-consoling at all.

To be honest Charon didn't think much behind the question at this point He didn't even consider Rannoch might be asking it because he wanted to be a father, too; he had just thought that Rannoch was trying to find a filler to avoid an awkward silence or whatever. Only later might he realise the true meaning behind the words. For now, he shook his head, saying, "It's okay," with an awkward grimace directed at Rannoch. Then he turned his head away to stare at the starry night again, feeling uncomfortable in the situation. He could not help but be curious if Rannoch was so easy to submit and apologise because there was truth in Alya's words about betrayal. Was he feeling guilty about something else, too? Yet it was hard for Charon to sort his mind at present time, for there was so much pain involved which made it hard for him to be civil to anyone. He opened his mouth to say more, but found no words and eventually just closed his mouth again. Charon did not look at Rannoch, just to the sky, hoping that Rannoch'd cut into a different subject to alleviate the awkwardness he felt.

There was an evident feeling of awkwardness that quickly established between the Alpha and Epsilon. Rannoch could sense it, and felt the need to squirm under the weight of the atmosphere. Instead of succumbing to his instincts, Rannoch wrangled his feelings as he regarded the starry sky before them, and as he observed his mind raced to find another topic that the two could talk about. 

It took some time, but when Rannoch realized a conversational piece was before them, he brightened noticeably. "Can you spot any constellations?" Rannoch asked, hoping that this would be the conversation to steer them away from their discomfiture.

For a moment that felt entirely too long, they just sat in awkward silence. Charon stared out into the galaxy and hoped that this moment would pass, that it could be absorbed back into the universe, all of it, because he didn't want to feel so devastated over his daughter's death and he didn't want to be repeatedly mad at Rannoch either. But he knew there was no take backsies when it came to the universe, so there was little use in hoping.

Charon didn't really feel like talking constellations, but he meekly replied: "Plenty." He actually didn't really have a clue what sort of constellations Rannoch knew about or not, so it would be hard to teach him anything. He looked at Rannoch and said: "I want to be alone." The words came out emotionless and cold, though he didn't intend them that way, and was actually trying hard not to sound frustrated. His face looked distraught still. He just wanted to be alone with his pain, as he didn't want to share it with anyone -- except maybe Ame -- and he knew another confrontation was imminent if they'd stay here together.

When Charon voiced his need for solitude, Rannoch ungracefully scrambled onto his paws. With his less-than-impressive track record with the conversation so far, Rannoch accepted that it would be foolish to attempt to communicate with his Alpha any further. 

"If you need anybody to talk to, I'm always here," he suggested with an awkward bow. As Rannoch stood at full height, he quickly turned from Charon and skirted off to find his den, bury his head in Liffey's shoulder, and try to suppress the interaction.

Charon merely nodded when Rannoch said that he would be there to talk to. He watched as Rannoch departed, feeling half-guilty but not nearly enough to say anything more -- he just needed time alone, he just wanted to hurt, he wanted to chuck someone off the mountain but in lack of that he would just have to do with watching the stars alone, thinking of Galaxy. The only one he would want by his side that night was Ame, but in lack of that, being alone was better. No talking about shit, because that wasn't gonna change anything, wasn't gonna bring her back. Nothing was going to bring her back.

With a deepening frown he looked to the skies again, feeling emotion soar through him as he watched some of the constellations she used to love.