Julooke was returning to the den after the morning hunt. It had been a little stressful on her, knowing she was in heat but trying to ignore it and focus on the hunt. She figured the ones who came along on the hunt had to do the same as well. It almost made her feel as if she should have given the lead of the hunt over to someone else and bowed out. No one made her feel like that, though. Those feelings were her own doing. She had taken some time to herself after the hunt, to wind down and gather her thoughts. If she and Verrine wanted to have pups this year instead of waiting for the summer, now would be the time to do it. Literally do it.
Her own feelings were a little cloudy. Part of her wanted puppies and to be a mother. Another, immature part, was scared. She was an adult, but there were many days she didn't feel like one, and sometimes she wouldn't even act like one. She loved being carefree and being the clown of the pack. She felt like she lifted spirits and made wolves feel better. Would she have to mature if she wanted to have pups? She was familiar with raising pups, but not on a full time basis. Care-taking did seem to come as natural to her as hunting did. Would parenting her own children come as easily to her? She wished her own mother were around so that she could talk to her. Fatalis would understand what she was going through and be able to guide her. Guidance, she thought. Her gaze went skyward, but the trees obstructed her view. It didn't matter though, since she couldn't see the stars in the middle of the day, anyways.
She supposed she needed to talk to Verrine, sooner rather than later. He was one-half of this decision, after all, and she knew he could calm her fears. She howled for him, asking him to come, then sat back on her haunches and waited for him at the mouth of their den. While she waited, her brain ran with thoughts of how the conversation would turn out.
After the hunt, Verrine had returned to the cougar trail he'd been following earlier that morning. It was a fairly fresh trail and he just wanted to be sure the mountain lion hadn't gone deep into their territory and gotten comfortable anywhere. With pups in their pack now, a cougar could be serious trouble. Fortunately, the cat's winding trail meandered along the fringes of their territory before moving out away from it altogether, so there was no threat…at least today, anyway. He would make sure to return to this area in future patrols and make sure the cougar wasn't frequenting their lands.
For the second time that day, Julooke's voice sailed through the summery air in a sweet beckoning song -- but this time, it was intended exclusively for him. His heart leaped as he ran toward her voice, joy and excitement pushing him faster and faster to her. He would never get tired of seeing her, of hearing her call for him, of being around her. She was the radiant sun around which everything that was him revolved.
As he got closer to where he thought her howl had come from, he had to track her scent to hone in on her and find her. Given her present…condition, it wasn't hard to do. Her fragrance, sweet and tantalizing, was clear in the air and it led him straight to her. When he saw her, a wide smile painted his face with open love and affection, and he approached her with kisses and a wagging tail. "What's up, Gorgeous?"
It was true that Julooke had gone into heat with Verrine around before, but this time was so much different. Before, it was a nuisance that Julooke waited out, usually away from everyone else, except for Verrine. This time, they were mates, and it meant the opportunity to expand their family. Julooke had her reservations, but she hoped to see past them. She knew she was good with puppies, and she would need to keep that in mind if she ever wanted to become a mother herself.
Verrine came in no time and Julooke stood to greet him, her tail wagging at his greeting. Hello, love, she said, attempting to bury her face in his neck. She inhaled the scent of him, letting it calm her, as it usually did. This time, though, it seemed to excite something deep within her; something she hadn't felt before. It was stirring of her loins, and for a moment, she thought about trying to seduce him. They were mates, after all, and that was part of the deal, right? But, they still needed to talk first, and with a frustrated sigh, she pulled back. She wanted to just come out and say it and make him say yes so that he could give her body what it wanted, but she knew she would regret charging through it. So, she took a deep breath, So, we both know the elephant in the room, she said with a nervous chuckle. And I know you've been around me before, but this time is different, you know? She was fumbling with her words a bit, and she knew it was out of fear of rejection. What if he didn't want puppies? As scared as she was to become a Mom, she knew deep down she did want children. I know it's soon, and that we just became mates, but my current condition has brought to light a certain opportunity, and I... I wanted to get your opinion on whether or not you... wanted children. Her gaze was on him, gauging his reaction.
After they parted, Julooke got straight to the point. That was something he'd always liked about her; she wasn't one to beat around the bush much when there was something on her mind. He listened; for a moment, he thought she was alluding to them merely having sex, and he couldn't help smiling. To be honest, it was something he'd thought about several times since they'd sealed the deal on their mateship. He wanted her. In fact, he wanted her bad. But he was a well-raised man and he knew better than to push her into doing something she wasn't ready to do. He knew that would come with time. Still, it was hard to resist with her heat in full swing right now, so he listened with keen interest as she spoke.
But then she took it in an altogether unexpected direction -- kids. His eyebrows shot up with surprise as she asked his thoughts on that. It really was soon. But then again, why wait? After a few minutes of consideration, he replied, "Well…we only just became mates, but we've been together a long time." He knew she'd understand what he meant. There had been enormous love between them long before either of them had summoned the courage to say anything about it. "Having kids, wow. That would be…awesome. Kind of scary to think about, but at the same time…exciting?" He looked at her, a mixture of excitement and apprehension lingering in his gold eyes. The thought of being a father terrified him, but at the same time, he couldn't think of anything more worthwhile, nor a more perfect partner to do it with.
At first, it seemed his reaction was negative. He was right, they had only just become mates. But, in the same breath, he realized they they had been together longer than just a few short weeks. She nodded her understanding, Exactly. I mean, I know we've only just made it official, but... you've been the only one for me since I met you, she admitted with a smile. She hadn't realized it until recently because their friendship had come so easily and it had taken her a while to see that it was more than just friendship, and then a while to finally say the words. They had come a long way since they met, and though they had just taken a more serious role with each other, it didn't seem so out of place to think pups could be a possibility.
She nodded again in agreement, I'm both scared and excited. I know I'm not the most... mature wolf sometimes, but I am great with other wolves' pups. I worry I may not be a great Mom because I don't always find the seriousness in things, but maybe that's not so bad? Her eyes turned to him, silently asking if he thought the same. She had always been a happy-go-lucky wolf- the one who could find a friend in a foe. Those were admiral qualities, weren't they? No, she wouldn't be the first to run off a wolf at the borders, but maybe she could be the first to find an ally in a neighboring pack.
What she said next made him melt inside. I know I'm not the most... mature wolf sometimes...I don't always find the seriousness in things, but maybe that's not so bad? A profound warmth and love for her shone in his eyes as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Jules," he said softly, a reassuring smile on his face as he looked at her. "That's what I love most about you. And I think those qualities will make you a wonderful mom. The best." In truth, they balanced one another out really well. Where Julooke was silly and naive, Verrine was more grounded and realistic. Julooke was creative, altruistic, and gentle, while Verrine was more direct, aggressive, and simple. He felt that, between the two of them, together they would make great parents.
Hearing his reassuring words, she smiled softly as her heart swelled. He seemed to have that affect a lot lately. Not that she minded. He admitted that the qualities she feared might not make her a good mother were the ones he loved the most about her. Thanks, sweetie, she said, trying out a pet name. She rather like it. She was glad she could verbalize her fears to him and not worry about any negative feedback. He always had a way of saying the right thing, without lying and just telling her what she needed to hear. He had a way with words.
Taking a deep breath, her gaze looked into his, Sooo, have we decided then? she asked with a smile. They seemed on the same page, and Julooke was feeling a little braver now that she had spoken with him. She figured any new potential parent was going to have fears, but so long as they both wanted this and did their best, it should all work out fine in the end.
As soon as he said it, he realized the double entendre of his words and blushed. If they were going to have kids, they would have to…do it. He wondered if Julooke was ready for that. He'd never pushed it on her or even suggested it, figuring it would happen when the time was right and they were both ready. Being a guy, he was always ready for that sort of thing, but…the ball was totally in her court. He looked at her and said, awkwardly, "…Uh. Yeah." And grinned a goofy, sheepish grin.
Julooke, too, realized the double meaning of his words, and smiled shyly, her gaze looking downwards for a moment. It was really now or never, and Julooke knew she needed to get her courage up. She looked back up at him and seen his goofy smile, and it was like she fell in love all over again. I love that smile. she said simply, knowing she was the lucky one who would get to see it for the rest of their lives together. In that moment, she gained the confidence she needed and attempted to bury her face in his neck as she stood.
She rubbed her face against his side, and then her body against his as she took a few steps forward. Her tail brushed against his chest as she turned to come around his back to his other side, rubbing up against him once more. She was calm and collected on the outside, but inside her heart was racing. Her brain was conflicted with self-doubt, but her body was sure enough for the both of them. She took a few steps forward until her backside was just in front of him, her tail swaying side to side, just barely brushing his chest. Her head turned so that she could gaze at him and gauge his reaction.
They were both shy and embarrassed for a few moments as they each realized the inevitability of what was to come. It was something that Verrine had fantasized about on more than one occasion -- especially since they had promised themselves to one another as mates -- but the fact that it was going to happen, right now, for real, was almost surreal. Like winning the lottery. Not only that, but he and Julooke had been friends for so long. He felt like a boy finally summoning the courage to show his private parts to the girl he really liked, only they weren't kids and there were no "crushes" involved anymore. This was what it was to be an adult, and their relationship was about to change in a big way.
She drew near, and he felt the silken softness of her downy white fur press against him as she, catlike, rubbed her body along the length of his own. It was a delicious closeness, and he closed his eyes and savored it as she repeated it on his other side. She moved to stand in front of him, the gentle brush of her tail tickling the fur on his chest, and he met her gaze as she looked back over her shoulder at him. The sight of her like this awoke something dormant and instinctively male within him, and his golden eyes simmered with desire and excitement. His heart began to hammer in his chest, and he was suddenly acutely aware of…certain parts of his body that he had previously never paid much attention to. "Stars," he said, his voice husky and scarcely more than a whisper. "You are so damn beautiful." Swallowing nervously, he drew close to her, his eyes never leaving hers as he traced the curve of her hips and the base of her tail with a line of gentle kisses. He had no idea what to do but they would figure it out together as they went.
Julooke wasn't sure what to do, either. She had never been in this sort of position before, and had no knowledge of the correct way to go about it. But, what she did have was instinct. She was born with the innate knowledge that would come out when the time came. It was here. She was generally an outgoing wolf, but she turned shy for a moment, suddenly self conscious. But, this was Verrine. Her best friend. Her mate. And now, he would be her lover. Her heart fluttered with every touch of his kiss, and she stood still, allowing him the freedom to go where he wanted with her body.
It was erotic... Their gazes locked together while he kissed her in new places. Her breathing was quickened with a need she couldn't vocalize, her heart beat picking up its pace. Her whole body screamed for something. Her front paws danced in place as she became restless. Verrine, she whispered. She needed him to release her body from this craziness. He was the only one who could do it. Instinctively, her tail raised slightly, possibly brushing up against the side of his neck.
He heard the need in her voice, and understood it for what it was -- an unspoken plea for her body's most primal needs to be fulfilled. His heart raced like a hummingbird in his chest and he felt like he couldn't catch his breath, but he was more ready for this than he'd ever been for anything else before. He felt the plushy softness of her tail brush up alongside his neck and her scent tempted him anew.
With a gulp, he reared up and gently wrapped his arms around her slender waist. He had no idea what on earth he was doing, and it was painstakingly obvious as he fumbled his way through the motions. After several moments of awkward poking and prodding, and muffled curses ("Oops, sorry!" and "Ah crap, hold on..."), he finally managed to find what he was looking for. It felt really good, but it didn't last long -- as with any young virgin guy, it seemed like it was over as soon as it started. He was kind of embarrassed about that, and was glad she couldn't see him blush.
He couldn't climb down off Julooke until the knot that tied them together released, so he rested atop her (with most of his weight supported by his rear legs so as not to squash her), breathing hard and grinning blissfully. With his arms still around her waist, he hugged her tight and kissed the back of her ears tenderly. "I love you," he whispered to her, once more totally blown away by how incredibly lucky he was. Julooke shared a lot of herself with others, but this was something that was his and only his. "You're amazing. I love you so much."
Her heart quicken as she felt him rear up and wrap his legs around her waist. She steadied her legs to take on his weight. They may have fumbled, she may have stumbled a bit under the added weight, but it didn't make their love any less perfect for her. It was Verrine, her best friend, her love, her soul mate. It didn't matter that they weren't experienced; it mattered that they loved each other and they were showing it. Hopefully, a few little fur balls would come along in remembrance of their love, as well.
The fact that it didn't last long was of no consequence to Julooke. It was a very special moment for her- one she would relive over and over. She was grateful that it seemed he was supporting most of his weight, as she wasn't strong enough to fully take him on. She felt his kisses, heard his whisper. Her neck turned, craned to kiss him back, but she couldn't. She let out a giggle, I can't kiss you back, she said, breaking the seriousness for a moment, before returning to it. I love you, too, Verrine, she replied.
When they were able to part, she laid down, her legs feeling slightly weak from their activities. Come snuggle with me? she asked with a smile. She loved feeling their bodies together, and the safeness she felt when he was around.