Stone Circle He's a tramp

@Murdock

For a few days now, Steph had been mulling over Zeke and what he apparently was supposed to mean in her life. She had refused him, but the questions were still there. Today, she decided she wanted to hang out with Moo. 

She didn't go far from the den before pulling her head back and howling for him. She learned that was the quickest way to find him, even if her howl wasn't that strong yet. She sat back on her haunches, waiting for him.

Murdock was usually near the den these days; it was the best place to rest and heal while also keeping an eye on the comings and goings of a certain fluffball. He was not far from Steph when she howled for him, and he wasted no time in bounding to her side, despite the lack of urgency in her call and the pain in his shoulder.

"What's up, little troublemaker?" he asked, bumping his nose against her side as he approached. Although he'd pained himself for no reason, it seemed, he couldn't be irritated with Steph. Rather, he was secretly overjoyed that she liked him enough to want to call for him and see him. She was such a perfect angel.

It took no time at all for Moo to appear, and Steph greeting him with a wag of her tail, touching her muzzle to his. She grinned at his pet name, knowing it wasn't a lie. She did often go off to find him, and she had found herself lost more than once, being found by someone less than trustworthy. 

While she greeted him happily, she quickly turned serious, sitting down on her haunches and turning up her face to him. She regarded him for a silent moment before she spoke. Moo is papa, yes? she asked directly. In her short life so far, Steph had not been one to beat around the bush. If she had a question, she asked it. And she looked to Murdock, expecting the answer she wanted, the answer she felt deep in her heart to be true.

The question didn't surprise Murdock too much, and neither did it give him the warm feeling he'd come to associate with the tiny girl. Instead, he felt guilty and sort of nervous, which quickly overpowered the sense of pride he got from being such a big part of her life.

"Who told you that?" he asked her, wanting to get the full story before he tried to give her an answer. He wondered what Valette had told them about their father, and whether she'd hate Murdock very much if he tried to fill that role for her daughter.

She frowned when he answered her question with a question, making her fear the worst. Could what she have thought all along-that Moo was her papa- be wrong? She shrugged. Just thought, she responded. Her gaze searched the area as she tried to find the words to explain.

She looked back to him, eyes wide. Mama say... 'eke is papa, an' she say he is pro-tecker, but he not save me. You did. By the time she was done with her sentence, her eyes were filled with tears. She didn't know Ezekiel, had no relationship, no bond with him. Murdock had been there from the start, and Steph feared what it would mean if he confirmed he wasn't her papa. You my papa, Moo, she said, no question in her voice this time. If her will could make him agree, she sure would have.

Ah, thought Murdock. Somehow, he'd not expected to be having this talk with little Stephie. Apparently, her mother's explanation had not been enough, and now it was up to him to deal with the consequences. Personally, Murdock thought Ezekiel was to blame.

"Unfortunately, sweet pea, you don't get to choose who your papa is," Murdock said with a little sigh, drawing her closer to him with a paw. "But that doesn't mean I love you any less, or that our bond is any less special. Do you understand?"

Steph's first response was to frown when Moo told her she didn't get to choose who her papa was. Well, she thought that was rotten. Why couldn't she choose? She felt blessed with Valette as her mother, but that Zeke guy hadn't even been around, and now she was supposed to treat him the same as Valette. She just couldn't do it. 

She reconsidered, though, as Moo continued to talk to her. You promise we won't change? she asked, looking up at him. If their relationship didn't depend on Moo being her papa, then Steph could accept that. He would still be number one in her book, regardless.

Murdock did his best to tuck the young girl against his chest, the way his own father had often done for Murdock and the rest of his siblings. "I promise, Stephie. There's nothing Ezekiel or anyone else can do to change us," he vowed, his mind still working through the rest of the things he needed to say. He tried to focus on Steph and her reaction, but his mind was racing ahead.

"But Stephie - I want you to think real hard on this. You don't have to decide now, or anytime soon. but think about it. If Ezekiel being your papa doesn't change us, then what's wrong with him being your papa?" he said gently. "You don't have to start loving him right away. But he wants to be there for you, just like I wanted to be there when I first met you. Do you think you could try giving him a chance? Maybe one day, if not today?"

She was tucked protectively to his chest, and her anxiety over the situation lessoned as Murdock promised her that no other wolf, regardless of biology, could change the relationship the pair had. Steph was prepared to put the matter to rest, and go on living life as normal, not really thinking of Ezekiel.

But, Murdock continued talking, and Steph considered his words, her ears perked to show she was listening. She supposed he was right. Steph was worried that Ezekiel being her father would change her relationship with Moo, but if it didn't, her worry was moot. I suppose, she half-heartedly agreed. There was still a small part of her that wanted to resist, but she knew she had no basis for it now. Clary really likes him, she mused aloud. And if Clary liked him, then Steph was sure she could learn to. What do you think of him? she asked.

Good, thought Murdock, though he secretly didn't want to share the space he already took up in Stephie's heart. He knew, of course, that the girl had boundless love to give. But she didn't have boundless time or energy, and eventually, she'd have to start picking sides. Ezekiel didn't seem like the type to live and let live, after all, and Murdock was aware that this advice might spell the beginning of the end for him and his little girl.

"I don't know him very well. Your ma seems to think he's alright. I know he's scared you won't like him." That much was clear. Honestly, Murdock had a somewhat poor opinion of the younger male, but that didn't mean Ezekiel didn't deserve a chance. Murdock had sure done a lot of foolhardy things - things he was glad no one had used that to warn Steph away from him.

"But I'll tell you what - if he does or says anything to upset you, I'll beat him up for you. How's that?" he suggested. "Just make sure and tell him I asked you to give him a chance." That ought to get the young man's goat.

Steph, being young and naive, had no notion that her attachment to Murdock was in any way unnatural. He had always been there, and she had no problem telling anyone that he was her favorite, aside from her mother, of course. Steph had never felt like she was fatherless, or that there was something missing in her life. She had Valette, a loving and caring mother, and she had Murdock. Whatever his title may be simply didn't matter. He was there.

She looked up to Moo as he said Ezekiel was scared that she wouldn't like him. He should be, she said a little saltily. Then, she sighned. If Momma likes him, and Clary likes him, and you-- she paused, thinking back on his words. You didn't say you like him. Do you? she asked. Moo had said she should get to know Ezekiel, but she couldn't remember him saying 

She smiled at his threat to Ezekiel. That's a deal, she agreed. It may not be today, or tomorrow, but at some point she would seek out Ezekiel, and get to know him. Whether she would come to know him as "Dad" only time would tell.

Damn. The kid was sharp, he had to give her that. He thought he'd been pretty clever in avoiding the question, but Stephie had sussed him out pretty quickly.

Part of him thought he should lie to her, or at least continue to obfuscate, but he knew that he wanted their friendship built on a foundation of trust. He might not care much about getting caught in a lie by Valette or the others, but withe Stephie, he knew he had to be up front. "I don't like him. He's whiny and full of himself," said Murdock. "But that doesn't make him a bad person. It just makes me intolerant of bullshit. Understand?" 

That wasn't exactly a shining review for Stephie's father. Murdock decided to throw the man a bone. "Besides - old men never like young men. It's a god-given law of the jungle."

Steph was too young to realize that the relationships she built as she grew were based on a strong foundation. She understood being there for someone, and how it felt when that someone wasn't there. She hadn't, though, been taught about honesty. Probably because she didn't realize there was such a thing as lying. 

Still, she was a little surprised that Moo confessed that he didn't like Ezekiel. She did understand that it didn't necessarily mean he was a bad wolf, but she worried. What if I'm intolerant of his bullshit? she asked. What if she took the time to get to know him, and found she didn't like him either? Would that hurt her mother? Valette hadn't yet pushed her to create a bond with her father, for which Steph was glad. But, would Valette be disappointed if Steph tried, and failed? Will Mama be mad if I don't like him? she asked then.

Man, this kid was smart. And adorable. Murdock wanted to tell her that she should just give up and not bother with Ezekiel, but he knew that it wouldn't be right. "Then you treat him like any other member of the pack. You're not going to like every wolf you meet," he told her, thinking it was surely a miracle that had led to Stephie's adoration of him.

He gave her a nuzzle at the mention of her mother. He didn't know Valette well enough to say. "She might be. But your mom doesn't decide what you like and don't like. Listen to her when she tells you to be respectful or nice, just the same as you listened when she told you to stay put while we scared off that wolverine. But your heart is your own, and you can do whatever you want with it. As long as you give him a chance, I'm sure she won't fault you."

It was a strange thought to Steph not to like someone she met. Ezekiel was actually the first wolf she had come upon that she wasn't open to liking. At least not at the moment. Everyone else, she had automatically liked them, and it stayed like that. No one had given her a reason not to like them. 

But, then, she was told Murdock wasn't her father, and she was supposed to see this male as her Dad. It threw her off, and she was opposed to knocking Murdock off the pedestal she had put him on. But, she was realizing now that she didn't have to. She could give Ezekiel a chance, and she and Murdock's relationship didn't have to change.

It was a new thought, too, that just because her mother didn't like something she did, it didn't mean she had to change her ways. So far, Steph was molded to want her mother's approval. She liked having it, it made her feel like she was doing something right. What child didn't want that? The thought of disappointing Valette was something Steph did not like. But, maybe giving Ezekiel a chance would be enough. If it worked out, great. If it didn't, she tried. 

She gave Moo, as she affectionately named him, a smile. Thanks, Moo, she said. She nuzzled him, happy that her whole world didn't have change.

Murdock simply smiled, pleased to have been able to offer viable council to the young girl. He hadn't set out to take her under his wing, but somehow, she was there. He wasn't going to let her crash and burn because of him.

The male returned her nuzzle, tail thumping the ground behind him. While he wouldn't try to steal the title of 'father' from Ezekiel, he knew he would always and forever think of Steph as his. If things had gone differently, he'd have little granddaughters just this age, and his mate growing old by his side. He'd have to chase down Wahots to see those grandkids, but he imagined Wyakin and Waytellem would have stuck around and whelped with their fellow Blue Ridge men.

It was a pretty picture, but Murdock's longing for it had eased over the years. And here and now, with Steph, he felt as though the world had returned something that had been taken from him long ago.