Blacktail Deer Plateau Quite The Stressful Day

Based just after this thread

Engel had headed straight for the one thing he had discovered earlier that day, thanks to Pema. He went inside the den that had once been Heartha's, when she had been a part of this pack, the mound just outside. Her scent lingered, and while it had been a long time, he recognized it inside. There he sulked, out of fear of what Day could do next.

He wondered where he had gone wrong, and if the alpha male truly trusted him. And was conserding, once the winter was fully over, he would go for his original plan. 

@Kieran Adrien

After the curious scene he'd arrived to previously, the boy had been given a task and he would not let the older male down. It was comforting to know that Grayday trusted him to complete this job, and perhaps even if it was a small one, he'd carry it out the best he could.

So the first one he sought out was Engel. Sorrel was shaken up and Kieran had little want to further agitate her, so his nose tracked the other male swiftly as his mind pondered possible reasons for the leader's outburst. That, and he wished to know how he was doing, for it had been clear he too had been scared. The young hunter would admit, Day could be scary - it was a side to him that the Streiter had never before seen. 

When at last he stopped tracking the scent, he felt his heart lurch - the den that had seen Heartha's last breath. True, he may not have known the older woman all that well, but it was like she always been there, for in a way she had. All throughout his childhood she'd been present, since birth, a distant figure perhaps but a comforting one. Her loss had been painful, he knew, on the other male - her mate, though Kieran could not recall his name.

"Engel?" He spoke softly, voice calling out gently as he entered. There - a sulking figure turned away from him. Perhaps Engel had known Heartha? It seemed that could certainly be the case. The yearling saw no other reason for his choice in location. With a small breath, he slowly came up beside the other male.

Engel couldn't smell Kieran's scent as he was coming close, and only realized he was there when he spoke. He moved his head slightly, and he managed a smile. Out of everyone to come to him, he would have rather Aditya or Kieran. Anyone else, and he may have tried to come onto them out of need for some comfort, both because of the place he was hiding and that he was scared.

"Kieran. No need for permission to come in, you're always welcome" he said, even though Kieran had akready come next to him. "Let me guess...Day's more pissed than ever at me, isn't he?"

He appreciated the accepting way in which Engel adressed his entry, a small quirk of his lips hoping to lighten the heavy mood that seemed to dampen the joy of simply being alive. He'd come to appreciate, after his mother's death, that if you were alive, you were lucky. It might not always seem as such, perhaps, like Hawthorn, you may have wanted to simply end it all but Kieran knew how much worth life had and simply giving it away was never the answer to anything. That was maybe why he stopped Haw, on that day.

Similarly, being so down was a waste of the time you had. It was okay to be upset sometimes of course, but you had to lighten up afterward and appreciate what you had. With Engel, it was clear he was anxious, most likely sad about the events that had occured previously. Maybe, too, Kieran might be overthinking it. He tended to do that sometimes. But his point was that what happened today was only a minor thing in Engel's life - the boy halted his thoughts, stopping the conversation in his mind with himself and glancing at the male.

"I don't know exactly what happened, or why, but he may have been overreacting. Maybe he had a bad day, or a memory came back to him and so his mood was bad even before what happened. It could have been during it, too. You never know what someone has seen previously in life, maybe he had a bad experience that looked similar, and it was brought up when he looked at you and Sorrel." He let some of his thoughts out, hoping they might bring at least a little comfort. 

"Speaking of which... do you mind telling me what happened? Sorrel is shaken up, she went to the den and I wanted to give her some space, since I believe she wished to be alone." The young hunter continued, feeling that spark whenever he was able to help in these sorts of situations. It was what had originally (along with the idea of Hawthorn taking his life) that had risen the urge for him to become a Counselor.

Engel shrugged. When it came to interactions between Engel and Grayday, he was starting to wonder if maybe he'd actually earned it. He hadn't had the best interactions, and was quite the bad flirted to Day. One thing for sure, he was going to try to never flirt with Grayday again. 

"Tell me about it..." he had not shared many things to do with his own past, except with Aditya. Even then, he did not reveal everything to Adi. "I didn't mean to scare her...I thought it was Aditya, tried to surprise them. Then I tried to calm her down, cause she was crying, then whoosh! Day's storming in my direction, and...well, I'm sure you know how it went from there" he said, setting his head down on his forepaws. How did he go wrong?

As the older male began his story, explaining the events that had so recently occured, Kieran's ears tipped forward and he listened intently. It seemed, from what he could tell, that Engel had not particularly done anything wrong, but Grayday still had acted with aggression toward him. Perhaps the male had grown a distaste for the other hunter previously, and that had risen his anger before the scene had taken place. That, or his previous point could remain true.

"Ah," He nodded slowly in understanding, able to better see the picture. Yes, he had known Engel was unlikely to have been aggressive - of course, seeing his sister in distress had set off the warning bells but he knew she was prone to being frightened of a wide variety of things in her current state. "I didn't think you had done anything particularly wrong, if it brings you any comfort at all."[/font]

Engel looked to Kieran with a comforted smile, and even offered a nice little chuckle. "If only others saw that too...Grayday doesn't seem to like me very much now, does he?" He could partly see why. Always flirting, blurting the wrong stuff, at the wrong time. He might make it through winter, but be was beginning to doubt he'd be here forever. "Can you...can you tell her I am sorry?"

He was pleased that he at least recieved a smile, and even better - a chuckle from Engel. Though his words made him shrug his shoulders a little. "That was the first time I've seen him angry with you," Then again, he had not seen them near each other at all. He spent most of his time hunting, and if he was not doing that it was almost guaranteed he was with Sorrel.

He mentioned Sorrel, then, and the boy gave a small nod. "Of course." He didn't think Engel had done anything wrong, he'd never been odd with Kieran, so perhaps that was what made him like the older male. Apparently Day, however, did not like him one bit. He doubted Sorrel despised him, honestly she seemed just as frightened as Engel on the scene.

"You haven't seen him round me, then. First meeting, he got angry. We had a spar, angry somewhat...Have not made the best impression..." He glanced back to the entrance, somewhat expecting Day to have been there just listening. He found himself lucky to find he wasn't there. 

"Say...you know who this den used to belong to?" he asked, wanting to put the recent event behind him. "If you do, I knew her once" he continued.

Crap phone post, sorry xd

Oh. So the leader really didn't like Engel, apparently from the very start? With a small raise of his brow, the young hunter gave a simple nod, and allowed that conversation to drift away.

Then the owner of this den was brought up, and Kieran peered around him as if deep in thought. Of course he knew. "She was always around. I don't really remember a time without her being close - I may not have known her all that well, but she was in my first pack. And then the one after that. She came here with us, too. Me, Hawthorn, Father and Heartha were the only ones left." But two of those four are gone. Sorrel, however, was back. When the older male finished his words, the Streiter peered at Engel with a spark of curiousity in his green eyes - "You knew Heartha?"

Engel nodded when the question came. "She was...she was my first mate. Thought she died" he explained, he'd gotten over the fact that she hadn't, and had instead passed on here. "How was she? Was she so kind she could warm anyone's heart, still? Was she still caring for everyone else's children?" He had no idea how much she had changed since he had lost her. Ever since they had met, she had always been kind, generous and a great caregiver for other females pups.

Kieran's eyes widened slightly at the response he recieved - he had not known Heartha to have a mate before Howl, but he supposed there was a time when he had not walked upon this earth. He listened with ears perked, orbs with the distinct dark green hue of a forest watching, taking in the answer. When Engel mind an inquiry about Heartha, he gave a soft smile. "Yes. She was like an aunt. I may not have been incredibly close to her, but she always looked out for me and Sorrel... H-Hawthorn too when he was with us." At the mention of Hawthorn, who's name was rarely spoken, his voice cracked a little. The others never made a single mention of him. When he disappeared, not one of them seemed to have noticed, and that broke his heart a little - the boy he had seen as a brother, the one he had both looked up to and cared for, the one who was family even if not by blood. The one who had suffered with so much inner hatred that the Streiter would rather have wished it upon himself than watch the other struggle. And perhaps... perhaps he had been more than what he seemed to Kieran.

"Yep...that's the Heartha I knew" he said quietly. He heard the crack in his voice and eyed Kieran closely. "Hawthorn...someone close?" He paused for a long while, before saying some words that he wasn't sure were the right to say, but at the time, he thought they were. 

"Kieran, you might know this already...you probably do already...but you gotta get past" Engel started to the boy. "One day, for any holes you have, you'll find someone. All right?" He playfully tapped Kieran's head with a paw. "Come on now, I'm sure Grayday's expecting something. Don't wanna keep him waiting, do we?"

Kieran out!

Engel began to speak, offering him advice that he supposed he had not quite expected - and the words were truth, but Kieran could not help the small weight in his stomach. For his problem wasn't the desire to find someone, but rather the memory of Hawthorn that both stung and blessed his mind. Hawthorn had been suicidal. His biggest worry, the cause of his distress, was that he didn't know whether the other boy had taken his life or was still wandering somewhere in the world. The uncertainty, the loss of his best friend, had hit him hard. But nobody had noticed.

The young hunter glanced at Engel once more, nodding slowly. "Yeah, I suppose I should go to him. Thank you." He gave a small smile accompanied with a wag of his tail, hiding whatever sadness had flickered through his gaze - and then he slowly began to leave the den. "Seeya, Engel," He grinned, taking one glance back before heading off to find Grayday.

Engel followed Kieran out of the den, and waved a goodbye with his tail as well as a bark. Then he looked over to the mound outside the den. "You lived a good life, didn't you?" If he was to be honest with himself, and had he known she was still alive, he would have thought she would outlive him. He guessed he had been wrong about that, as well as many other things.