Blackfeather Woods rosemary

Ocracoke spends the next month only existing, trying to figure out how she’d gotten here. A family isn’t something she’d particularly going after but forced to carry children sired by a monster hadn’t been in her plans, either. It’s been nearly a month since she’s given birth, a disaster of an event that only traumatized more than brought joy, and she’s left floundering in a life she can’t handle.
 
How is she going to raise a child? Killing the others made the most sense (though what stopped her with Currituck is still unknown) because when they become more mobile and rambunctious, how is she to care for them? Young children won’t understand the concept she can’t see them and she can’t hold them back from being puppies. They’ll want to run and play and explore and she’s left… hoping she won’t lose them? Relmyna is often busy with her own litter and it’s been a while since her scent has been strong within the glen. @Tahani’s scent comes and goes, even if she doesn’t talk to the new mother, but she watches the little girl every so often.
 
While stress eats away at her, Currituck does the same, suckling eagerly as Ocracoke lays pitifully on the ground, waiting for whatever happens next.

Tahani didn't know quite how to feel about Ocracoke. a mother not showing any interest in her children was completely foreign to her. even the ones who'd been less than thrilled about the pregnancy completely changed their tune when the little ones were born. to see Currituck so neglected broke her heart, and that was mostly the reason why she visited the Glen as often as she did--else she'd be with her sister and new nephews and niece.

but to look at it a different way, Ocracoke had been violated. some brute had taken everything from her, and left her with his spawn. Tahani tried to imagine what life must be like in her paws. blind, helpless, and caring for her rapist's child. so while her visits were for Currituck's benefit, the healer did want to keep an eye on Ocracoke--for she did pity her, greatly.

today, she had a hare in her mouth, and--expertly tucked away in the corner of her mouth--borage leaves, to help the woman's milk flow, in case it wasn't coming. she picked her way down the steep walls of the Glen, padding up to Ocracoke with a smile for Tatik. she sat the hare in front of Ocracoke, spreading the borage leaves across its limp belly.

"hello. i have food. eat," Tahani prompted gently. her grasp of the common tongue was getting better, listening to Siarut converse with the native members of the woods, but it was still fragmented and heavily accented. "herbs also. eat, too. help with milk." she pushed the hare toward the mother, and gave Currituck an affectionate nuzzle, a croon in her throat.

She jerks in surprise when Tahani speaks. One terrorizing thought after the other kept her lost in thought, unaware of her surroundings. Currituck squeaks and huffs when she’s dislodged and Lightly Smothered™. The new mother shuffles a little to undo the damage and the puppy scurries back in surprise. When Tahani is spotted by Currituck, she quickly scurries into the nuzzling.  
 
The scent of food drives Ocracoke forward a little bit, nosing what’s in front of her and ignoring the herbs placed on top. Carefully, she moves it closer, to the other side of her from the other woman. Ocracoke licks her lips and turns her head back. When she realizes Currituck is not right next to her, she lowers her nose and tries to search for the scrambling child. Dirt flies in front of her face until she bumps against Currituck’s rump. Corralling her back into her breast, it isn’t long before the girl tries to escape again.
 
With a heavy sigh of defeat, she lowers her head to the ground. Tahani is still here, at least.
 
“You have children?” she asks after a moment. Her nose twitches and she breathes in the same scent she has with her in the last several weeks: milk and puppies.

she noticed the trouble Ocracoke had in wrangling her child--naturally, she would. Tahani stayed close, just in case Currituck were to stray too far, sitting down and putting her paws in front of her, like a lounging cat. the woman's question took her aback. she'd not even thought about her own scent; it had only been natural to stay with Shivali.

"no," she said, shaking her head, a hint of somehing almost like sadness coloring that one syllable. "my sister, Shivali, has children. three." she smiled as she thought of the young northerners--and northerners they were, despite being born so far south. the polar blood coursed through their veins: even Tunerk's, with her coat of brown rather than ivory. they were perfect, all of them.

No, the woman says, but someone else. Someone with young children like Currituck, if she were to guess, and a family to take care of them. Ocracoke sighs, unaware Currituck has squirmed back out of reach. Taking care of a single child with high sight isn’t just difficult, it’s dangerous. The puppy doesn’t know good from bad and without someone properly taking care of her, she’s just around the corner from a world of hurt, or death, or… Him.
 
“I-I-I can’t d-do this,” she says quietly, ears fallen back against her head when she realizes the girl is gone. She noses nearby to try and find her, her heart sinking hoping the woman is still there and offering help. Maybe she should have killed this one, too.

the little girl began to wander away again, and Tahani stretched her neck out, gently wrapping her jaws around Currituck's scruff and bringing her to nestle between her outstretched legs. Ocra's shuddering admission makes the hair along her spine raise suddenly--there was something about her tone that was frightening; perhaps it was the note of hopelessness that weighed each word down like a stone, heavy with finality.

"i help," Tahani insisted, trying to keep her own voice steady. "i. . .care for her, too. i help you." she touched the rabbit with her muzzle yet again, at the same time trying to keep Currituck within reach. "eat. Ocra. . .please."

Ocracoke turns her head when Tahani speaks up, offering her help. She points the other way, taking a heavy deep breath through increasingly rapid ones. Help isn’t enough. Help isn’t going to make sure she knows where the puppy is at all times, or to get her to understand she can’t be a child because of her disability. Ears lay back against her head and she just wants to bury herself deeper into the ground, shaing her head as much as the space will allow.
 
“I can’t,” she repeats, mumbles. “She n-n-needs someone th-h-at can t-take care o-o—” she blubbers, stutters through the distress. It’s not going to get easier. Currituck isn’t going to be easy to care for when Tahani goes back with her sister and her puppies. A heavy stones weighs her heart down, making it difficult to breath. Quietly, she offers in finality, “of her.”

"i help you," Tahani repeated, more firmly, tears coming to her eyes at Ocra's distress. she let them flow, knowing that the mother would not see them, nor know of their existence, as long as she kept the sobs from her voice. "she. . .need you. her mother." she drew her tongue along the soft fur on Currituck's head, the salty droplets falling from the bridge of her nose to darken the downy pelt.

"i help you, Ocra. we all help." it took a village to raise a child, and a village would most certainly raise this one. . .but Ocracoke wasn't getting out of the situation so easily. Tahani knew that Currituck--and the others, the dead ones--had been forced upon the woman, but that didn't mean she could just abandon them--

right?

Tahani offers help again and she shakes her head. It’s not the same. It’s not enough. She can’t constantly worry about the girl she didn’t even want. If she’s with someone else, belongs to someone else, she’ll be safer. She won’t have to worry about her mother as she gets older (she does not realize how different she’ll be) and the baby can have a fair chance of life.
 
“P-please,” she starts, “y-you take her. Your sister? She’ll have a family.” She chokes. It’s not something she wants to do, but then again, none of this is ever anything she wanted to do. The man took every aspect of her life away from her, she can’t give the girl something she doesn’t have.

the scene was growing more and more bleak as Tahani realized the gravity of the situation. Ocra didn't just not want Currituck--there was no way she could serve as an adequate mother to her. not with her handicap, not with her trauma. she was giving the girl a way out, a chance to live the life her siblings did not receive. a chance to have a family of her own.

"i take her," Tahani said after a moment of silence, dipping her head. the tears would not stop, but her voice was clear, determined. "Shiv and me. . .ah, I. . .take care of her." and though Tatik had no northern blood, to her knowledge, there was little brown Tunerk in the mix; she would not feel so out of place.

she cocked her head in a gesture Ocracoke would not see, another question coming to her mind, though part of her knew the answer already. "we leave, soon," Tahani continued. "new home. you. . .you come?" the logistics of ferrying a blind woman across the rugged landscape, especially with four pups already to care for, were more than daunting.

but if Ocra wished it. . .she would come with the northern wolves. Tahani would make sure of it.