Redtail Rise Never a diva but occasionally a real dick

Not twelve hours after her date with Luke, Smash's body began to go through the final stage of a phase begun two to three months prior: sexual maturation. She woke up to a heavenly smell and it didn't take her long to discover its source; she thrust her muzzle against her own rear end and inhaled deeply. An initial sense of amused (and slightly disgusted—there was blood involved) wonder eventually turned to a feeling with which Smash was not very familiar: creeping dread. She and Luke had gotten their freak on less than a day ago... in hindsight, how irresponsible were they?!

Now, half a week later, Smash had come to a decision about what to do. It would be weeks before she could confirm whether or not she was carrying pups. She wasn't going to take that risk, nor put that burden on Redtail Rise. Besides, as much as she liked Reek, Arion and even Saena, life here wasn't shaping up the way she had expected. Of course, she would mention neither of these things when she announced her departure. She would let the leaders know but give them some other reason. Maybe she would insist that she wasn't in heat but that she had strange and contagious lady problems instead and she was headed for a quarantined convent. Hopefully Saena would be too inexperienced and the men too squicked out to ask questions.

Smash smiled sadly, not at all feeling like herself. She made her way to the foot of the Rise, then sat and just stared off into the distance for a while. When she finally felt ready, the she-wolf lifted her dark muzzle into the air, calling for @Saena, @Reek or @Arion: the three highest-ranked wolves and the pack mates she knew best. She wouldn't leave without letting someone know. Abandonment just wasn't her style and she didn't want to go MIA on a pack already reeling from a similar scenario.

Typed out a reply and it deleted everything :\. So bummed about this, who else will Reek be a goofball with?

The quiet life was not all that it was cracked up to be. The Rise had become still, stagnant. The wolves had all but dispersed to do their own thing, leaving Reek alone to slink through the territory. While solitude had it's place and purpose, the bedraggled beta could only take so much and he had developed quite a large case of the lonelies. Apart from his brief interlude with Pants and meeting that new kid, Oliver, Reek hadn't seen a sole for at least a week... even his mate had turned up MIA. The air was still, uncomfortable.

Once again, worry had made it's slow and steady creep back into Reek's heart. While the paranoia of weeks past had came and went, this time the feeling was much heavier. Less manic, but more real. It was almost as if he had been fitted with a pair of concrete galoshes atop a slowly sinking ship. He didn't know what was to come next, however dread had begun to pile. For a brief moment, Reek felt as if he were the only wolf left on earth, however Smash's summoning howl snapped him back to reality and brought a grin to his face.

Smash had called and he would answer. Hell, when Smash called, he always answered. She was quickly becoming his bestie, partner in crime, and resident goofball. His tail thumped against his side as it wagged while he ran toward the call, however Smash's expression wiped the grin from Reeks face and in it's place his face went flush with worry. Something was wrong. Her scent hit him like a brick wall. Heat. His heart dropped to the pit of his stomach, this wouldn't be good. "Smash? He sputtered, eyes alight with fear.

Ugh, that's the worst. I think he and Arion can still goof off together. ;)

Reek, as always, was prompt. When he ranged into view, Smash's heart leaped into her throat. I don't wanna do this! she thought to herself, her eyes dropping as the Beta came closer. She knew he knew right away that something was the matter. The usually loud and upbeat she-wolf probably looked like someone had slapped her in the damn mouth. Someone had: her name was Reality. Or maybe Mother Nature.

"Yo, thanks for coming so quickly." Smash paused, then managed a weak smile. "That's what she said, right?" She snorted quietly, looking down at her paws a moment before raising them to Reek's face. "I'm sure I don't have to tell you I don't have good news. It's not many that get to see me out of sorts; do you feel lucky?" she quipped a bit heartlessly, her smile faltering and then disappearing. Her face felt alien to her, so she could only guess how weird it was for Reek to see her like this.

"I'll cut right to the chase: I'm, um, leaving the Rise. It has nothing to do with any of you!" she insisted hastily, voice raising. "You guys are great. I, uh..." Smash's usually silver tongue seemed too thick today. Her made-up story about lady probs flew right out of her head. Instead, she shrugged lightly and gave a half-truth: "I met someone, a vagrant. I think I'm gonna run away with him." Considering her condition, he could probably guess what came after that. Little did he know she had already skipped a few steps.

A pregnant (gulp) pause followed this confession and Smash sighed, "I'm really gonna miss your face, Reek. It's the best face I've ever faced." She somehow managed another quivering smile for the one, the only, grand poobah. "And you're gonna be a great father... a much better one than me." Ah, so she could inject humor even into the most bittersweet of situations.

Responding on my phone because I just couldn't resist.

Reek attempted to force a smile at her initial joke, however nothing came but a rather toothy grimace.  "You know, it's only funny if I say it," he said, barely keeping it together.  His voice shook, creaked, and croaked like settling house in a storm. His foundation had cracked and splintered.  "That's just how the set up works, you know that Smash. So... phrasing."  Although humor tended to be Reek's first defence mechanism, the jokes did little to aid the empty feeling that had taken hold in the pit of Reek's stomach.  So, on to step two.

Denial.  Although he knew exactly what was coming, phrasing, he chose to deny until the words finally came.  I'm leaving.  His thoughts briefly flashed to his mate who he hadn't seen in weeks, she had left too.  At least Smash had the decency to say goodbye.  But, in a way, that just made the whole ordeal harder.  Being forced to confront the permanent was always worse than being thrust into the situation.  Goodbyes were way too hard. "I don't feel lucky."  More like the complete opposite.

"So, you're just gonna leave me too?"  He asked, trying, and failing, to hide the pain in his voice.  Wyn's absence and now this had come as a one two punch right to the emotions. But if she had found someone, who was he to stop her?

Reek made a valiant effort to appear cavalier, though Smash could see him crumbling under the weight of her news. She felt horrible. She was supposed to make people laugh, not cry! Granted, he wasn't actually crying but she could see the misery written into his homely features and hear the resigned disappointment in his voice. Furthermore, his words weighed on her heart like stones, even though she didn't quite follow.

"Too?" she echoed softly. "I'm so sorry, Reek. I know I'm being a selfish brat. But..." Was her lip trembling? "I have to do it." Her voice was nothing more than a quiet hiss now. "Who else left you?" Smash had never heard herself sound so mouse-like and found herself hoping she would never sound like this again.

How fitting.  Junior got his 100th, and now Smash gets his 200th.

Reek's shoulders slumped even further in disappointment and he hung his head with a ragged sigh.  As hard as he tried to make her stay, she remained adamant in her decision to leave.  He had already lost too much, there was no way he would let his friend slip though his paws so easily. It had already happened with Pants. His visits were infrequent, but at least Reek knew where where his friend hung his head.  Redhawk Caldera wasn't the friendliest bunch, but he knew he was safe. Smash, on the other hand was just venturing out into the wild, likely to never be seen again.  He had become far too invested to just let her walk.

She didn't follow what Reek had tried to imply.  Who else?  The list of those that had simply left was a long one.  His mother (death counts), Caiaphas, Pantaleimon, and now Wynter, whom he hadn't seen since the pack meeting.  "Wyn," he whispered in resignation, tone dripping with heartache.  Wherever she had gone had been a mystery to Reek, but she had left without a word.  "I haven't seen her since Saena came back.  I think she got scared, ran off.  Maybe she didn't want to start a family."  A whole score of doubts shot through Reek's head. Wherever she had gone, he only hoped that she was safe.

He took a few steps forward and touched his muzzle to Smash's neck.  "I won't lose you too,"  he whined weakly. Reek felt selfish for wanting her to stay put, but with his world crashing down around him, he didn't know what else to do.  His once stable house of brick turned out to be a hovel of cards and the wind had begun to blow.  "Don't go," he whispered.

Congrats! :)

Smash's ears pinned backward when he said his mate's name and for a moment the normally verbose she-wolf was struck dumb with surprise. Of course, his pleading was working on her. However, she knew she couldn't stay in the end, no matter how much Reek's begging affected her. Even though it appeared the Rise's one hope for a litter had walked off with Wynter, that did not make any difference for Smash's potential puppies. They were bastards, conceived with a vagrant without the leaders' knowledge or permission. She would not risk their lives or her own by revealing her possible pregnancy, nor would she put the burden of that knowledge on Saena or Reek in the first place.

"I'm so sorry, Reek. I didn't know," Smash whispered. Have you looked for her? she wanted to ask but she didn't dare. Of course he had probably looked for her. "The Rise has been so quiet lately... I haven't seen anyone but you and Arion. I didn't realize..." It made her feel even worse, knowing she might be the straw that broke the camel's back, if everyone else was disappearing too. But it changed exactly nothing and there was nothing she could do.

"I'll come back and visit, I promise. I could never forget you, Reek. You're a grand poobah, for crying out loud." Smash paused. "I'll keep an eye out for Wynter out there. I'm sure she'll turn up. If she was good enough to land you as her husband, she's quality people. She wouldn't just walk out on you, not when the two of you just got the green light to start your family!" she said emphatically. "It just doesn't make sense. She'll be back, I know it," she finished with her much more typically positive tone.

But then she lapsed into a long silence before saying, "I'm so sorry, Reek," again. "The Rise and me, we just weren't meant to be, I'm afraid. But I probably won't go too far and I'll come see you again someday. Cross my heart." And she did: she made an X symbol in the air over her sturdy brown chest.

I just couldn't resist jumping in :)

Arion realized that he wasn't made for this life...this peaceful, quiet, boring life. He found himself missing the stress, the thrill when he was temporary leader of the Rise, sure, it had made his insomnia worse, and sure, he had been worried as fuck and his emotions had became an absolute mess and messed up his usually orderly logical system. But at least it had been exciting then, albeit in a dark, terrible way. Nowadays, his packmates seemed to be all off doing their own thing, leaving the chocolate Greek resorting back to drugs.

It was probably a bad thing, but the stallion had nothing else to do, nothing especially interesting managed to weed its way into his life yet. He made sure to only be on drugs when he was sure his leader wasn't anywhere around, didn't want to make her think that her second most trusted wolf and now the lead warrior of the pack and was a fucking, uncontrollable, weak, pathetic druggie. He couldn't bear to let her know. Craven, coward, he thought wearily to himself one day.

Arion had been on the other side of the packlands, on the other side from where Smash was when the summoning howl rang through the air. He had only been so far away because he had been secretly taking drugs over there, for a moment, he considered going over there like a drunkard but decided against it for there was a howl for Saena and Reek too. He didn't mind the ragged wolf knowing but his yearling leader was another thing entirely.

So after the drugs mostly wore off, the stallion made his way quickly towards the source of the call, from a distance, his keen honey eyes spotted the familiar figure of the ragged new Beta and his so called 'twin'. A grin plastered on his chocolate features, he arrived with a typical, cheery "Whatsup guys," just for the smile to fade away entirely at what was happening and the smell that hit him squarely on the face. Heat. That couldn't be good. And the look on his ragged best friend's face was not good. 

Barely being able to control his stoic look, Arion spoke, "Fuck's going on?" he half spluttered, half snarled.

Reek right now:

Unlike Arion, who had just wheeled into the scene, Reek was prone to the overly sentimental and once he had emotionally attached to someone, in this case Smash, it was incredibly difficult for him to let go.  In laymen's terms, he was a class five clinger.  However in this sort of situation, Reek wished he had that same, machine like, thought process that Arion had.  Unfeeling.  Uncaring.  A shallow aspect would have been so much easier to bear.  

While Smash spoke, he fought the urge to bury his face further into the side of her neck, but he refrained and remained absolutely still.  Briefly he wondered if he could even move at all, like he had become part of the ground itself.  He had become simply a fixture within the natural environment, like a tree or a rock: experiencing, but unable to do anything but stand.  Reek began to feel tears beginning to well in corners of his eyes, but he choked them back with a long and heavy sigh.  The realization had struck him like a swatter to a fly. He cared.  More than he had previously let on, and perhaps more than a married man should. But the heart wants what the heart wants (it tended to be funny that way).

The not-so-grand Poobah pulled away and had begun to backpedal.  After she had finished, Reek didn't know where to begin and instead of speaking, he simply cast her a forlorn glance before shifting his gaze back to the ground.  Even though he had just come to the realization of why he wanted her to stay, he wasn't ready to say it.  Quite frankly, he couldn't say a thing.  The long, pregnant pause that ensued cut deep.  "Please visit," was all he managed to croak before he could feel the hot sting of tears re-welling up in his eyes. 

He shifted his gaze back to Arion, hoping to hide the extent of his sadness from Smash.  "She's leaving," he quavered, voice small. Helpless. "I tried."

*hugs him so much!*

"Cross my heart," she repeated when Reek feebly pleaded with her, "hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. I promise, Reek." Smash lifted a dark chocolate paw and placed it gently on top of one of his slightly darker ones. Meanwhile, her orange eyes sought his gaze. Her eyes were a bit moister than usual too. She wasn't one for weeping and she had a brief, panicked thought: Pregnancy hormones?

When Arion stormed onto the scene, shattering their intimate moment, Smash jumped and reeled in her paw unthinkingly. She opened her mouth to answer his question but Reek beat her to the punch. You're killing me, Smalls, she thought woefully, resisting the urge to look at the Beta's face again. The combination of his anguished tone and his heartbroken expression would break her will.

"Take care of him for me, Arion," Smash quipped sadly. "And tell Saena I said goodbye, if you don't hate my ass too much to pass on my message. I... well, this is going to sound cheesy as shit but... I love you guys. I really do. I'm going to miss the hell out of you. And I will be back to visit someday. You're, like, my bros."

And she would have fist-bumped them but instead Smash slung up her forelegs and tugged them into a group hug. Biting back a sob, she planted a giant smooch on each of their cheeks, then smiled sadly at them for a long moment. "I really gotta go..." Slowly, she began to retreat, though she had difficulty tearing her eyes from Reek and Arion. She walked backward for a good dozen yards before finally facing forward and starting to trot away.

I'm doing this for them, Smash thought as she squared her shoulders. Even she wasn't quite sure to which them she referred.

I figured I could sneak in one or two short posts, inspired by this panel and this panel of Off-White.

Saena wasn't close enough to really hear the exchange, but she stood in the trees, watching. Smash's scent wafted up even to where she was hidden. Though the Alpha female genuinely liked Smash, she wasn't thrilled to know the woman was in heat. At first, she assumed that this gathering was a sort of mating circle, and she stood vigil to ensure that nobody broke the rules... but it became clear the longer she hunkered down in the bushes that this wasn't what their gathering was about.

Reek was too crestfallen, and Arion too alarmed, for it to be anything like that. Plus, Reek had a mate, albeit a strangely absent one. She'd expected to see more of Wynter following her permission, not less. But that's a story for another time.

When it became clear to Saena what was really happening (she didn't need to hear their words to understand this), she broke her cover like a mild thunderstorm. She was too small to make such an impact as a thunderstorm in full bloom, but still she stalked down the mountainside with her hair lifted along her back and her tail raised. She didn't call out anything to the retreating Smash, but stood on an outcropping of rock with her snout flung to the sky, wrinkled and unwelcoming, with a brief flash of teeth. Arion and Reek might take her display poorly, but if they looked closely, they would see disappointment and unrest in Saena's eyes, and the glimmer of tears, for she had hoped to make a solid friend of Smash and hated to banish her from returning this way.

But she had to make a statement, or wolves would continue to come and go. Hers was not meant to be a transient pack. Permanence meant something, especially after all the shit her family had put her through with straight up abandonment. So she stood tall and rigid, her body language screaming, don't you dare come back looking for a home. Whatever reason Smash had for leaving wasn't good enough for Saena, and though she appreciated the call, which surely meant that Smash really was explaining herself, she'd been unable to feel good about anyone leaving ever since Junior's unexplained disappearance.

Arion right now:

But Arion did care. He cared a lot. It just didn't show. There were only a few wolves who managed to get through his stoic exterior and his snarky, sarcastic attitude. Smash was one of them. With her smiles and jokes and jests, she easily made her way in to his inner circle, way easier than most would have found it to be. And once someone made their way through his facade, once he began to care, to like them, he clung onto them almost as badly as Reek did. The Greek spent most of his life trying to separate himself from emotions, for they simply interfered with his work, but now he realized that it wasn't possible.

He wasn't a machine. He wasn't as logical and as unfeeling as he thought. He cared. He cared so much, too much. And now...now he couldn't let go. What did he always tell himself? Sentiment was a defect found only on the losing side. He never thought it would be him, no, he would be the winner, the one who was always unaffected, always. But here he was, realizing, for the first time, that he had the capability to care.

So, the normally stoic stallion simply stared, his facade gone for good this time, he stared vulnerably and sadly at the two of them when Reek told him that she was leaving, that he tried. And realized if he was this unhappy with Smash then he would probably be even worse if Reek ever left, and if his friend felt even more terrible with her leaving now, then......Arion would never leave him. Not if he could prevent it.

"Don't go.." he whispered to his 'twin', he believed he had figured it out, with the heat smell and the leaving. Perhaps she had banged a stranger and now thought she was pregnant, or maybe she just thought breaking their hearts was fun. No, she wasn't that type of wolf.

Arion listened as she spoke, and managed a small smile when she finished speaking and allowed himself to be pulled into a group hug as well as kissed. "I'll miss you," he whispered softly into her ear and watched with unshed tears in his honey eyes as she really, truly began walking away. The Greek's ears flicked towards the sound of pawsteps and after a quick glance, noted that it was Saena but didn't pay much attention to her. She didn't need it now.

The stallion's gaze flickered to Reek for a brief second, and then moved towards him, pressing his flank comfortingly to the ragged wolf's own and whispered gently into his friend's ear. "I'll never leave you, brother," he promised, not only to Reek, but to the gods. It might not help, but it was all he could do.

Last post from me unless one of y'all decides to stop Reek from leaving!

Reek felt himself being pulled along with Arion into Smash's brief embrace. Too brief. While Arion tried his hand at convincing Smash to stay, Reek fell completely silent. It was of no use trying anymore and Reek didn't believe in vocalizing a proper goodbye. It was too final. Instead, he simply watched with forlorn eyes as she pulled away and left, fading out into the distance. Although she said she would visit, Reek felt as if this would be the last time he would see his cocoa compodre, and that made him unbelievably sad. At least he still had Arion who vowed to never leave his side. He still had a permanent friend in him and in Saena.

Speak of the devil.

Saena had rolled in like a bull in a china shop. Her strong stance and body language broke the sad and somber mood. Reek splayed his ears to the side and lowered his body in submission, briefly thinking he had done something wrong. But once the situation sunk in, Reek straightened himself out and frowned. "I love you guys, but I need to be alone for a bit," he mumbled before turning to head toward his empty den. Reek had found himself too sad to socialize, especially after Saena's display.

Saena rumbled for a long while after Smash's departure, making well known her disapproval of the situation. She'd once told her sister to let her know before leaving and Junior had failed to do that, making it that much harder for Saena to accept that others would leave as well. Smash had at least had the decency to call them; for that reason, the Alpha would forgive her eventually, but for now, she was upset and hurt.

Reek excused himself and left, and though she wanted to follow and console her Beta, Saena only looked after him with a soft whine. For her display, she wouldn't apologize, though she knew a friend's banishment must hurt him. Her eyes drifted to Arion then, and she stood still, waiting for his response—would he stay, or leave as Reek had?

Saena kept growling and growling long after Smash had vanished into the distant horizon. Arion himself shifted into a posture befitting of his rank, showing deference to his Alpha Female, his chocolate ears twitching before settled against his skull, both in submission and in agitation at Reek's departure. His gaze flickered over to Saena as she whined softly, staring at the bedraggled Beta's back as he trotted away.

The leader's indigo eyes turned to him, Arion dipped his head respectfully in her direction, wondering if he should stay or leave like Reek had. But if he stayed, what was there to say to her? Nothing at all. "I'm sorry Saena," he murmured, lowering his head once more before turning around to leave, heading in the direction of the borders. Perhaps a patrol would clear his mind.

-Exit Arion-

Arion didn't have anything to say, and he seemed too affected as well to remain with her. The alpha watched him go as well, sadly, but then turned back to where Smash had disappeared. She didn't have time to wonder if her display would affect her relationship with her friends, for the wind brought the scent of heat to her nose again and whisked away any uncertainty about her actions. She growled lowly again, lashed her tail restlessly, and remained at the border for a long while to ensure that Smash didn't return. She hated to say goodbye in such a harsh and permanent fashion, but she grew tired of disappearances, and was far too volatile lately to keep in mind that Smash had at least let them know before leaving... a fact she would remember later.