Frostfire Ridge It's a start...

She stared at her pathetic excuse for a garden. The rows were nearly crafted. The soil was upturned, dampened, and ready for her to transplant whatever she needed. Unfortunately, she doubted its efficiency. This ground was hard. It was not suited for the herbs she desired. Those needed nutrient rich soil and this earth was somewhat barren. It did not like to retain water of any kind which meant whatever she planted here would need to be watered and frequently. Hmm... Quite the predicament, now wasn't it?

Citali lifted from where she sat and began to stalk around the ridge. She appeared upon a rise and tiptoed to the edge of it, turning her eyes towards the southern horizon as she contemplated her options. Northern plants would thrive in this environment, but she knew little about them. If she were to use them, she'd be starting from scratch and her margins for error would be significantly higher than she desired. But she could make it work. Ugh. Had to make it work. 

Her brow furrowed as she stared, looking over the tundras to the trees and mountains beyond. The last time she'd traveled in that direction she'd found a treasure trove of things that could be used to her advantage. She could dry a few things. That would supplement her stores until she could build up fresher remedies, but it wasn't her preference. None of this was. And so she sat, staring into the distance as if it would somehow give her all the answers to the questions she toiled over in her head.

Hope you don't me and Tezca, this looked lonely! :D

Tezcacoatl had been taken stock of the caches — something he did daily — when he'd came across Citali's scent. For a moment, the serpent king deliberated. The last time he'd actually spoken to the earthen colored Amazon had been when they'd stumbled upon Tryphon; and with Nochtli being upset at him for his assumptions he figured it might be a good idea to touch base with the other Amazons, including Manauia whom he'd only seen in passing, lately. He dreaded the idea of “talking” with Xiuhcoatl again, having made an effort to avoid his claimed-to-be aunt (even if not knowing what she was scheming put him on edge). He knew Tuwawi was on his side, at least, and that was a start. After a few more seconds of contemplating, Tezcacoatl made the decision to follow it. He followed it past the neat rows of what he assumed to be Citali's garden though if anything had grown — or if she'd planted anything yet, Tezcacoatl didn't know. He did not linger long, instead kept after her trail.

He found her not soon after, settled upon her haunches staring out into the horizon. His crystalline gaze followed hers as his steps slowed to a cease, a good distance between them. He saw nothing and let his gaze move back to her. The serpent king offered her a soft woof of a bark to announce his presence to her, though he did not draw any closer, favoring to stay back in case she did not want for his company.

Her thoughts distracted her. The options she had at her disposal were few and far between. This left her spinning circles in dangerous directions. What could she do? What earth could she cultivate to her purposes? How many would she accidentally kill in her efforts to save them because she did not have the appropriate tools at her disposal? Truthfully, she could not work under these conditions.

Heavy footsteps fell behind her. Citali's ears turned atop her head, catching the sound as her eyes slowly turned to follow. Tezcacoatl. She did not hide her disappointment. Immediately her ears flattened. Any one of her sisters she might have been pleased to encounter. This mockery of a king? Hah. Whatever words he wished to say would be a waste of breath. She did not wish to hear them.

As was true with any male, Citali ignored him.

So this post might not exactly match up to what I'd previously typed but bumping the date up to after Tezca x Nochtli's last thread (as to which I'll reply to asap).

Citali ignored him when he called out across the breach of grasslands between them, which while it did not come as a huge surprise, pricked at him nevertheless. How quickly he'd lost what feeble control he'd thought he had on ...everything; if he'd had any control at all initially. Nochtli was gone, and her betrayal had cut deeper than the serpent king had thought it would have. He had apologized to her, accepting the error of his thinking, glad that she did not think that males were the bane of the earth only to have her twist everything he said, as if she couldn't stop herself from hearing what she had wanted to hear from what he said (which, unfortunate as it was for Tezcacoatl) had been all negative; and he was not fool enough to believe that he would not lose Citali, Manauia and even Xiuhcoatl, too. The consideration of this cut into the marrow of Tezcacoatl's bones because it actually hit the dormant/awakening(?) Amazon within him. The Guard that he had grown to harbor affection for, that he had counted upon as his right hands were deserting him, turning their backs to him: when he'd been their mission all along. A king needed his consul, after all. He remembered more with Nochtl's betrayal, something he had suffered through in isolated silence. It had been the worst migraine to date, the pain almost unbearable as it felt like a living being was trying to smash it's way out of the inside of his skull as the memories came breaching through the floodgate the amnesia and Ragnar's lies had kept them behind, until he'd upchucked all the contents of his stomach and then some. He could have called for the healer who's back he was currently staring at, but he hadn't. He'd shouldered the burden alone, bearing the pain because he was an Amazon and weakness wasn't an acceptable thing.

His head still throbbed every now and then, but outwardly he allowed no signs of it to become visible (or so he hoped anyway). The medic had a keen eye, as was her job, and he hoped that either she wouldn't care enough now, or she'd not pay enough attention to notice anything that might give him away. To have to call someone whom you had once called a right hand, to someone whose your life had once laid in the paws of a traitor was a hard thing, and there was a part of Tezcacoatl that still hated Ragnar for everything he'd caused. Even after death, the Viking was still making Tezcacoatl's life a living hell. “Nochtli is gone, Citali,” He spoke bluntly, understanding that his words might cause the medic to leave him, too. His kingdom, that he put so much thought and patience into was crumbling and he was helpless to stop it. It was like a horrific replaying of Duskfire Glacier's downfall. It was the same thing, only worse this time around. “She has turned her back on me, on Frostfire Ridge and though I doubt you will believe me, the Amazons as a culture.” Technically, he had too, but then again he wasn't just an Amazon. “She has turned her back on Quetzalcoatl by abandoning her mission,” Him. “I had no choice but to call her a traitor, and you know as well as I do that my mother will do the same,” She'd had homes at both the Rise and the Ridge and now she had neither. He didn't say it out of necessity, simply because it didn't need to be said: that if she came near his borders he would kill her, and that anyone who was caught offering her aid, or even associating with her would be dealt severe consequences. 

“That male she'd been hanging around with a lot before betraying us, the one I smelled on her,” Tezcacoatl had even asked the ebony ex-Amazon about him but he couldn't recall through the aching within his skull if she'd ever been forthcoming about her information on him. “What do you know of him? It seems to me that he was the turning point of her behavior.” Citali might not tell him anything, even if she did know, or she could lie. He was prepared for all options, and prepared to track the male down by himself, if it came to it. Someone would be punished for the loss of a woman that Tezcacoatl had once thought of as family. He wasn't the young, awe struck, polite boy that his garrison had once known. No, that boy had died long ago. In it's place was a war hardened, feral man: Ragnar and Quetzalcoatl's own creation as the Viking and Amazon fused together. Tezcacoatl had no time for games, and had proved it when he'd fearlessly taken Ragnar's life (not that it did him any good).

Sweet. This thread also falls after the current ManauiaxCitali thread.

It spoke. It shouldn't have.

She let it know. "You appear wiser when you don't open your mouth." Because everything that fell out of it was "woe is me". Which was moronic, stupid, and a waste of everyone's time here. Not to mention, that he misinterpreted things if only because he was blind to everything that was happening around them. His goals. His dreams. His whatever else happened to be important at the time. And what were they supposed to do? Follow him because it was ordered? She had at first, but the wolf she was commanded to serve as guard for no longer existed. Her contract was null and void.

"I know." Was all she spoke of Nochlti's disappearance. She and fellow amazon sisters were far more in tune with one another than this foolish king dared to notice. All he seemed to care about was betrayal and haphazardly making up rules and nonsense he claimed not to know then suddenly knew everything about. This wolf was as confused as the lands here. Hot or cold. Trying to be both Amazon and whatever else he had become.

What he was? She had no idea, but it was not Tezcacoatl. Not in the least.

"Don't claim to be Amazon," she snapped, furious suddenly. How dare this wolf claim to be an Amazon when he knew nothing of their ways. "If you knew anything about us, you would not have asked females who despise males to submit to your rule." That she had let it go this far was preposterous in and of itself. She would not allow herself to be humiliated further.

"Our mission?" she hissed. "Our mission is over and complete. There is no Tezcacoatl for any of us to serve. You have killed him by becoming whatever it is you are. You may look like Tezcacoatl, but you are certainly not him." These words, however precise would fly over his head. She braced herself for another spat of "woe is me" and "everyone has betrayed me". Their loyalty was to the Queen. She'd assigned them to him and he was no more. That was all there was to it. Nochtli was well within her right to resign... then again, there was nothing to resign from if only because it no longer existed.

She spoke not of his frantic jump to conclusions where Nochlti was concerned. If he wished to misplace the cause of Nocthli's actions, he would only further proved how right she was in jumping ship. Truth be told, if their was any traitor here it was the wolf who dared to claim himself as Tezcacoatl. Imposter.

He was angry, and he was hurt, and Citali's words did nothing to soothe it. He remembered more than he let on, had questioned things even before Thistle had broken the dam inside his head that Ragnar had to carefully built. “Am I wrong? Are my memories wrong?” So far, he hadn't heard any of them deny what he remembered, when he dared to speak of it all. He kept the majority of the memories at bay because he was scared that the flood would kill him, and he had too much to do before he died. “Did it ever occur to any of you that I remember more than I let on?” No, he mentally thought. It obviously hadn't. “I suppose it wouldn't have. After all I'm just a stupid man.” What did he know? Nothing. “Do you really believe that Quetzalcoatl told you the full extent of your mission? Or did you all just believe it was to babysit me when I didn't need it?” At first, it hadn't made sense. Why would an adult wolf need a guard? But he remembered now, thanks to the feverish half dreams, half nightmares he'd suffered all night. Not everything, but he remembered enough. “I asked her if I could leave, I knew that no Amazon woman would follow me, but I was destined to be a King,” A craphole king, but whatever. “She let me go so that I might see her dream of equality come to life. To be the harbinger of a new age for the Amazons; that you and your sister would govern me.” To guide him when he needed it (that of course only worked when he wasn't too busy being stubborn wanting to try things out for himself to see if they worked or not). "It went beyond just keeping me safe. Her thoughts were...are treason, and you, I and her all know it."

“I wasn't ever meant to take over Coatl's Rise.” But, likely his words were wasted. He didn't want to lose any of the other women, but he faced it now as a reality. “Ironic, isn't it? How you all fought so hard for me to remember, calling me Tezcacoatl when I was trying not to, but now you don't like what you've created.” And they thought it was so easy as walking away from him. He'd tried to tell them but none of them had wanted to hear it. “Did you really expect me to be the same as you remembered me to be? I gotten separated from you, and I took shelter in the Seahawk Valley, in the pack known as Tartok. I lived with them until Ragnar and his Berserkers captured me and took me prisoner. They used me to get to Quetzalcoatl, and they are not known for their brutality for no reason.” The torture Ragnar had lied about, covered up as he wove the web that had become all Tyrr knew of his life, false as it was. The Vikings were cruel, and death had been nothing short of a kindness to Ragnar, he saw now. Far better than the man had deserved.

“And you have no idea what it's like to remember.” It was harsh, all of it molding him into something sharp and feral. So, she could spit her words at him as if they made a difference but they couldn't change the past. “So be angry at me. I don't know what more you all want from me. I am sorry that nothing happened the way it was supposed to, but you can't keep holding onto it. You have to let it go, Citali.” But he couldn't make Nochtli see this and doubted he would get Citali, who seemed to dislike him more than the ebony Amazon had, to see it, either. “I did not want to pass that judgment on Nochtli. I trusted her, blindly. As I trust you, and Manuaia, and it was the hardest thing I've had to do.” Harder even than killing Ragnar (which hadn't been that hard but he didn't want to think about it). “She turned her back on you, too, you know. On Quetzalcoatl. This goes so much deeper than myself.”

“So I'm going to ask again,” Tezcacoatl's crystalline gaze bore into her his posture stiff. “do you know of him?” Personally, Tezcacoatl was shocked that Citali seemed to not care that Nochtli'd been getting close with a male, especially given what he took to be her stance on the gender. “And you can keep your silence, but it won't protect him.” Just so they were clear on where Tezcacoatl stood with that, surely the blame could not be lain all at his feet. Tezcacoatl took the blame where it belonged to him, but he suspected there were other forces at work. Maybe he was just becoming paranoid, but at the moment he couldn't be bothered to care.

There it was. The rambling sob story of a "woe is me" and "why doesn't anyone understand". She was listening. She heard every word and yet he didn't appear to comprehend anything she'd just spoken to him. She blinked back at him, staying quiet for a long while before she finally parted her mouth to speak.

"You didn't hear a single word I just said."

Tezcacoatl's jaw snapped shut with an audible click. She refuted him by saying that he hadn't heard a word she'd said: when it reality he had. It seemed to him that she hadn't heard anything he'd said. For wolves that were supposed to care about his well being none of them seemed to care all that much (at least this was the feeling he got). They didn't want to hear anything that didn't conform to them, or so Tezcacoatl believed. “I heard you just fine,” Tezcacoatl ground out, his patience wearing thin. He couldn't make them see that he went through hell, and that remembering was like putting him through the ringer all over again, but why would they care about it? They only cared that their butts would be on Quetzalcoatl's firing line when they returned without him; but they all missed the point of sending him away in the first place. “What do you want from me?” He demanded, tired of going around in these useless circles. This was their doing. Their fault. They should have left him alone. Took their punishment. And they had the nerve to call him a coward, when the couldn't look their Queen in the eye and swallow their failure up to a lesson learned, either.

“Tell me what you, and Nochtli and Manauia, and Xiuhcoatl want from me? You don't want me to rule Coatl's Rise. I get it, but you don't want me to stay here, either? So tell me what you want. What do I need to do to prove that I'm more Tezcacoatl than I've ever been.” Because he was tired, and he just wanted a straight forward answer because they hadn't made sense to him one bit. Wanting him to return but not rule when he could live here and preserve their culture by staying away from Coatl's Rise? It just...didn't make sense.

"What do you want from me?" Citali looked at him, staring long and hard. What did she want from him? He wasn't going to like what she was about to say.

"I want you to grow up." Her words were clipped, but firm. There was something hollow in her voice now that solidified as she stared both at and through him all at the same time. She wasn't playing anymore. She wouldn't humor this. Her patience was beyond thin and there were reasons why she was not trained to raise pups. She would not be forced to earn that trade here in babysitting him. "You can bitch and moan about how awful your life is. You can either have amnesia or not have amnesia. You can claim to know things or not know things. You can think everyone is out to get you or you can look at what you have in front of you."

"You think you've been through Hell? We've all been through Hell. Our own versions of it. Stop keeping score. Suck it up and move forward because that is what a leader does. They lead. They look forward. They do not sit around and sulk and moan about all the terrible things that happen to them and sob when things don't work out as planned." Or he could continue sulking about it like a child and further prove he was a snot nosed pup chasing after a crown he didn't deserve.

"I want you to decide whether you have amnesia or not. If you have it? Then you sure as hell better start listening to those who actually know the past and stop bullshitting about what you think you know." She was tired of listening to him change his story about what was or what wasn't. It was exhausting trying to discover where the hell he found his version of reality and even more irritating that he kept talking about his la-la land dreams as if everyone was out to get him. How this wolf became everyone's victim was beyond her wildest comprehension.

"I want you to let us go." This was the last of it. The part that would frustrate him the most. "I want you to stop pretending to be Tezcacoatl. You aren't him. Not anymore. Don't even try to be him. You are whatever you have become. That's fine. Embrace whoever you are, but do not expect us to do the same." They were looking for a wolf who was forever lost and they couldn't cling to what was. Only what is and what could be.

"If you want to lead here, fine. Actually lead here. Collect wolves who share your vision. Don't force those to stay who can not conform to whatever it is you want." She sighed, feeling somewhat as though this was a waste of breath. "Don't label Nochtli a traitor based on some mission you don't know anything about or a culture you no longer seem to understand. If you continue to call her such because she wounded your fragile ego, heaven help us all. If you think for a second she left because of any wolf other than yourself, you are setting yourself up for world of failures."

Grow up? It took all of the serpent king's will to hold back the snort. How could they be so blind to what he saw as their own hypocrisy? They had pushed him to this point; by calling him Tezcacoatl and not listening to him in return. He'd tried to tell them but like him, Tezcacoatl believed that they had not listened. And now? Now, they wanted to act like he was the proverbial villain? They wanted to play the innocent, the ones who no longer wanted him apart of their culture when before they'd fought him tooth and nail when it came to his identity. How could they not see that? That was the point he was trying to futilely argue, but when he tried to point out that what they were saying now was what he'd tried to say along he was suddenly a child. “This is what I have tried to say all along, Citali. You refused to call me anything but Tezcacoatl when I'm not him and you cannot deny that you pushed me, all of you.” And if she did then she would affirm what he already believed, wrong or not. “I only wanted to look forward while everyone seemed determined to push me back into a past that is long since passed.” Or so this was what he felt; but he couldn't help but feel that his words would go into one ear and out the other; or worse yet be twisted into another argument.

He was tired of arguing with them about this mess. It had gotten him no where with Nochtli. She had left, but if she thought it would be the end of this, she was sadly mistaken. To throw his blind trust and loyalty back at him was a mistake, family or not. “I had let you go,” It wasn't necessarily in the way that she was speaking of, but having no memory of them had worked efficiently enough. “If you had no intention to stay here, to be apart of the Ridge family then why come back at all? Why bother finding me? You could have told her I was dead and no one would have been able to refute it.” There would have been no evidence of it, no body and by the time anytime had gotten to search for it, nothing would have realistically been left, anyway. “Why become apart of something only to tear your loyalty away?”

“There was never a force to stay. You were always free to leave, all of you. You chose to aid me, and how can you expect me to not see disloyalty when you tear it away? She is a traitor for abandoning the Ridge, then.” He was tired of all this arguing, this back and forth. It would be up to Quetzalcoatl what she did with them, if they chose to return to her. He did not argue with her, simply amended his previous claim, one that she could hardly refute (or so he thought). “I offered Manauia a place as my Second in Command,” That offer still stood, as far as the serpent king was aware; and while he wasn't sure why he was telling Citali he did not cease. “I had hoped to incorporate aspects of the Amazons into the Ridge,” but clearly he couldn't do that now. Not with all of them leaving. He didn't have the knowledge on his own, as she pointed out; and he didn't know if what he was 'remembering' was actually real or not. She didn't seem to think that it was and what choice did he have? Again, he had to rely blindly upon wolves that would abandon him at the first blink because he wasn't what they wanted him to be. 

He trailed off there, crystalline eyes studying the medic's face carefully, wondering if she would continue to tell him how he did not listen since apparently, everything that came out of his mouth served as proof to his idiocy to them, as it seemed to him.

Oh this would be going absolutely no where and fast. It was becoming extremely evident why Nochtli grew tired of this and walked away from all of it. He was still only seeing one side of the scenario and not for a second did he care to put himself in their place and try to see through different eyes. "What were we to do? We set off with but one purpose; to try to find the Tezcacoatl who'd vanished from us. And then we found you. The spitting image of him with no recollection of what he once was. Even Manauia was convinced you were still him as she'd been following you for some time. So we reconvened and decided as a group that we would humor you in this and hope your memories would return before this pack of yours became official. We'd never once dreamed you'd actually accomplish it and drag more unsuspecting numbers into your fold."

That was the bitter truth as she knew it. Their loyalty was an allegiance of their own. The females uniting not for this Tyrr to have a kingdom here, but for Tezcacoatl to regain his memories, realize this was all a mistake, and return to where he rightfully belong. "Those howls that lifted with your voice were not cheers of celebration. They were wails of mourning." If he hadn't recognized them for what they were then he was truly living in a universe of his own. None shared in the joys of this accomplishment. To them it was all a farce as this fool king somehow thought the women behind him were supportive in his endeavors long term. "We were never loyal to you." No. Short of physically killing him, as Xuihcoatl desired and Citali was in agreement with, none of them had any desire to linger here. That he hadn't seen it coming was additional proof to his blindness towards anything save his selfish desires.

"If she's not told you already, Manauia will be returning to inform the Queen of Tezcacoatl's demise. Perhaps she's already left..." Citali was uncertain as to her present status. Why hadn't they gone back earlier? Because now they knew the wolf before them would definitely not wake up one day and remember his origins. No king would ever be able to incorporate aspects of Amazon lifestyle if only because their core structure revolved around serving a queen. Even now Citali did not adjust her posture to accommodate the male before her. He could wear whatever title he so desired and Citali would never think of him as a greater wolf than newborn female.

Still, he seemed adamant about including aspects of their culture. Citali shook her head. She'd had enough of it. "Do not continue to insult the Amazon way by making your mockery of it. It's offensive." She would never see him as Amazon again. "Don't you dare call yourself Tezcacoatl again, not even to humor a wolf. You are not, nor will ever be him. Go back to Tired, or whatever you called yourself." She couldn't remember. Her memory of this brown beast before her was quickly fading as she tried to erase this nightmare from her recollection.

Him, and his misplaced accusations as he wished only to see things through his own eyes no matter how they presented their version of the truth. How emotionally wounded and crippled was this wolf that he would fling such strong words around without thinking twice? "I see no traitor here. Only false promises left unkept. She pledged herself to a wolf that does not exist and mourned with the rest of us. If this bruises your ego so, label me a traitor too. I would not suffer to live beneath the presence of a king."

She stood then. There was little else to say that would penetrate the thickness of his skull. She could not be more clear in this. If he wanted to be hurt emotionally then he could tend his own wounds with more foolishness. There was no remedy for a poisoned mind.

He let her argue, he let her insult him. He didn't know what else to do, and he stayed silent and took her words. Any time he tried to defend himself it got turned and twisted against him and so he'd reached the breaking point. He had nothing left to fight, nothing left to try to hold onto. She wanted him to let her go, to let them go and so he would. He didn't even bother to correct her when she used the wrong name, not even his name. Tyrr wasn't his name, wasn't who he was. It hadn't belonged to him but rather the weapon Ragnar had made of him. He'd wanted to get back at the Amazons and even in death he'd succeeded. Clearly, he wasn't who they wanted him to be and if he listened to them: he never would be. Clearly, this must have been what Ragnar had wanted: a trojan horse. “You're right,” Tezcacoatl surrendered. He knew not what else to say to her; not even sure that agreeing with her would appease her at this point. “Even in death the Viking still gets his victory.” Over him, over all of them. “If you feel that leaving is what you must do, Citali. I will not stop you. You've never been chained here. You've always been free to go, as I've said from the very beginning.” It hurt to think that Manauia left, without even saying goodbye but he hadn't ever pegged her for the sentimental part to begin with. He only wished she'd have considered his offer as opposed to throwing it back in his face, too.


It stung, and the Amazons' words cut him to the quick but he knew not else what to do other than give them what they wanted.

Thanks for the post! Feel free to archive or reply as needed!

His silence was the smartest thing he'd said since this conversations started. The second smartest thing he did was agree with her, even if he didn't truly mean it. She was starting to wonder if he was learning, when he continued to speak with utter bitterness towards his past. Not the past they were looking for, but the past that he knew and should continue to try to live from. Those memories were clear. That culture he knew. This? He knew nothing of the Amazons and if he were to continue sulking like this he'd only prove to know nothing about running a pack either.

She shook her head. "I'm leaving effective immediately." Turning on her paws she did not so much as cast a second look at this wretched land as she escorted herself off the premises. Frostfire Ridge. Pfft. More like hell on earth. With the great debate as to whether or not the netherworld was of fire or ice, this place seemed to capture both of those elements with such dismal results. Good riddance. Her future would be much brighter without this place.

-Citali exits-

Citali's decision to leave the Ridge did not come as much of a surprise to Tezcacoatl, for they all seemed unhappy with him. Arguing did him no good, clearly, and he didn't bother to try to explain himself anymore. They refused to see their blame in this, believing that it all fell upon his shoulders. Most of it had been his fault, but he would not be convinced that they didn't have a hand in the fault as well. They had pushed him and had equally refused to listen to him (or so he thought). They had “played along” with Frostfire Ridge only to abandon it; and through all of that he was the only villain. He wasn't allowed to be angry. Perhaps it was the Viking in Tezcacoatl but he hoped they would be spurned from Coatl's Rise, if they returned. He had not felt ill will towards them, at first, trying to understand that they were frustrated as he but now? Now, he couldn't claim that particularly held true. Would he go after them? No. They were free to leave, they always had been and his concerns were more pressing. He watched her go with bitterness and when her silhouette vanished out of his sight, turned and headed towards the heart of Frostfire Ridge sparing an irritated glimpse at Citali's failed attempts at a garden.

If it grew then it could stay, it's resources would be used to aid the Ridge and if it didn't grow then it was of no consequence to him aside from that it meant that the healer (if he ever found a new one) would need to go on a search for the resources that they would need.