Broken Antler Fen You fear only fear itself

@Sebastian

The late morning saw Aviana walking about the territory, her tail and head low as she repeated discovered the other scents of the wolves living here. The meeting hadn't gone all that well, in her opinion, and she had mostly stuck to herself since then, though had met one female since then while she was fishing. She was still on the edge, her brain going back and forth with her heart on whether she should stay or go. Her life had changed so much in the past year and a half, and part of her felt like maybe she simply wasn't cut out to be in a pack anymore. They were all about family and socializing and being around others, and her fear kept her from doing that. Seb was the only wolf she wanted to be around, but she knew he would not leave this place. He had built a whole new family here of wolves who loved him and looked up to him. Why would he leave that for her? She would never know because she simply would not ask that of him.

Even if her fear got the better of her in the end, she knew she deserved to stick it out here for as long as she could. The nomadic life had been thrust upon her as the only choice she had to survive, and it had worked, even if it didn't make her happy. She just needed to find a way to overcome her past.

Sebastian was going through the territory himself too, and was quick to come across his sister's scent. The adjustment hadn't been easy for her, that much he could tell. The young alpha male wondered what had happened to make her so afraid of everything.

He was quick to catch up, letting out a familiar bark to let her know it was him. It had been a very typical bark he used from when he was small. Sebastian's tail was up, but wagging, as he approached her. The young male smiled. "Hey, Avi," he greeted her. "How are you doing?," he spoke. At least the territory was super different compared to the cliffs.

A bark she hadn't heard in such a long time reached her ears and she turned to see Seb approaching her. Her body hunched down, both in submission and out of habit. She knew her brother, and knew she was safe with him, but she couldn't help the instinct that came over her. Her own tail wagged between her back feet and she smiled to him. Hey, Seb, she greeted. I'm okay, she added, giving the stock response to his question. How are you?

It was weird for her to talk to others. While Seb was her brother, and they had been close before, it had been so long since she had a conversation with another wolf. Her time spent on her own, she made sure not to get close to any other wolves, even to just chat a little. If she seen them on the horizon, she would go the other way. She never had a destination in mind from one moment to the next, the only thing keeping her going was tracking prey.

Sebastian smiled when seeing her sister. She did have an automatic response though, saying she was okay but he didn't have the feeling she was. She was different. Shy and scared. Something happened to her, and he didn't know what. The large male sat down. "Will you tell me? Tell me what happened to you?," he asked softly. He could remember a far happier female, not in the last weeks of course. She left before mother died. Did she even knew her mother was dead? That he killed Darius? She left before all of that.

"I could tell you my story too if you want that," he spoke and tipped his head, trying to make a bit of a deal out of this. He was not sure if curiosity was the key that would make her talk. He had the feeling that something bad happened, she didn't just turn like this for a reason.

He sat, and Aviana mimicked him, a soft smile on her maw. His mere presence was enough to lift her spirits, and it was the one solid thing that kept her from leaving this place. She had never dreamed of joining another pack, and probably would have lived out her life as a loner had they not chanced upon each other.

Her smile quickly vanished, and her eyes dropped to the ground as he asked softly if she would tell. She wondered if anyone else even knew, but she doubted it. She didn't think her Uncle would go around blabbing that kind of thing. No one would have followed him after that, at least she thought not. She had always confided in her brother, but this was something she had kept hidden so deep inside, and she just didn't know if she could voice it. Could you tell yours first? she asked softly. Maybe hearing his could give words to her own.

Sebastian nodded in return after all he had things to tell her anyhow. He didn't want to uphold any hope that their mother was still alive. "After you left things went quickly in the wrong direction. Avi... Mother passed away during childbirth. None survived. That bastard Darius should never have bred her. She didn't even want him." Sebastian showed clear distaste. He could remember the day that her heat came and how she tried to hide it from the male. He couldn't watch yet he also couldn't defend her. "I was so mad. It was his fault. He did that to her. I was so mad, Avi. So mad. I went to him in my anger and it turned into a fight. It could have end in my own death seeing that I was never the fighter. But, Darius misstepped and I managed... I pushed him off Thornledge. I murdered him," he spoke, eyes turning a bit empty.

"I watched how he fell down. How his body was forced to those thorns, how his skin was ripped open and how his body ended limply at the bottom of the cliff. Ripped and Broken. Thornledge quickly fell apart. I couldn't stand staying there when mother died, and well, you knew my obsession with father. So I went after him. I tried to find him," he explained, now becoming a bit calmer. "I found him. Though, you shouldn't go there. He doesn't want to be reminded of us. He doesn't care. Long story short. I then decided to start my own family. Pearl was already a friend, but once she joined I noticed that she was more than that for me. I hope I can be a father of my own soon. Give them a good life," he spoke to her. There were more details but he figured to give her a global view of what happened.

She was quiet as he spoke, the images of both her mother and her uncle going through her head like an image reel. Her Mother trying to give birth and dying in the process, her pups laying lifeless beside her. Her Uncle, battered, bloodied, and torn at the bottom of a cliff. The emotions swirled within her, mixing together. She wanted to cry at the fate of her Mother, and laugh at the fate of her Uncle. All this time, she had been running, afraid he would come for her. He wasn't even of this world anymore. 

Sebastian confessed he had found their father, too, but this elicited no feelings from Aviana. He had never been present in their life, and she had never really cared. She had looked to Seb so much that the absence of Burke did nothing to her, nor did his presence here in the Wilds. I have no reason to go to him, she confessed easily. 

She opened her maw to keep her end of the deal, to tell Sebastian what their Uncle had done to her. She closed it. Opened it. Closed it again. She sighed. She had never once voiced her past, even when it kept her awake at night, and lonely for all this time. Her gaze looked at the surrounding area as she tried to find a way to say it without actually saying it. It was a few long moments before she spoke. I'm glad he's is dead, she said, no emotion in her voice. He... He did the same to me as he did with Mom, she confessed, pausing for only a second before she lost her nerve to continue. Only, I wasn't willing, and nothing became of it. She hadn't gotten pregnant, for which she was glad. Aviana was a kind soul and would never blame her pups had she had them. But, to have to look at the product of her rape everyday would have been torture, no matter how much she would have loved them. I left the next day, and have been running ever since.

She kept her gaze locked on the ground, almost scared to look at her brother. Since she had never told anyone, she had no idea what kind of reaction to expect.

Sebastian ignored the comment about Burke, it was understandable, but he wanted it to be said anyhow. What was bothering him far more was that this bastard of a male also wanted his way with his sister. He had not listened to her and went along with that one act. Another female raped. So many females, Ambrosia, Wildfire and now his own sister. Sebastian blazed in fury and bared his teeth a bit.

He quickly collected himself and stepped closer to her. "I am so sorry this happened to you, but you don't have to run anymore. He is dead, and you found your family, me. You are safe here, none of the males would ever do that. Ever. I promise you Aviana. You are safe with me," he spoke to her and gave a lick over her nose to comfort her. "And it is alright that you are still scared. You can be. But know that you can call this your home. I will be here, and we will just slowly get you back to your happy self," he spoke. "Will you let me help you?," Sebastian asked, because that was also a very important question, asking her for her consent.

She allowed him to get closer without feeling the need to flee. He had killed the object of her fear, and she loved him more for that. It may not have been for her, or what he did to her, but Aviana didn't care. She cared only that her Uncle was dead and could not harm her. She let his calm and assuring words wash over her, implanting them in her mind. The only hard part was trusting the other males here. She had trusted her Uncle with her life, and he had betrayed not only her, but her Mother, as well. How would she know for certain that another male wouldn't do that?

He asked if he could help her, and Aviana desperately wanted to say yes. It had been so long since she had known any other feeling but fear; but was she ready? She didn't know what feeling ready would actually feel like. Maybe she just had to trust Seb and take the plunge. With a nod, she did. She didn't want to leave, so she knew it was now or never. What do we do? she asked, as if it was as simple as coming up with a few steps.

Sebastian looked at his sister. "You have to be open for it, Avi," he spoke to press the matter to her. The young male wanted to help her, and he had to find an idea how that would work. But that means that she had to want it too, otherwise it would be a hopeless case. "I was thinking we slowly start to give you little assignments with Aduin, for example. You met him. He is nice, and a bit shy. He would never hurt you Avi. Never. I can give you assignments what you like doing, and then if you do those things you like with Aduin then Aduin becomes something positive. We can do small steps. So first Aduin and me. Or you can go with Pearl," he explained to her.

He was not going to tell the end goal because it might take longer than that, way longer. She needed to know that every progress she made towards being able to live with males was a good one. "Each day you smile or laugh I count as a success," he hummed to her and then smiled. Hoping to get a smile in return of course.

She took a deep breath. It's just been so long since... Since I've had the opportunity to let go. In all honestly, she had never had the chance since that night. But, I am open to it, she said. Was she worried that she would fail? Yes. But, she owed it to herself to at least try. 

She was nervous when he mentioned doing tasks with Aduin. He had seemed nice enough at the meeting, but she just wasn't sure about being alone with him. She was about to voice her concerns when Sebastian mentioned it would be him, too. I'd like you there, too, with Aduin, she voiced. He mentioned Pearl, too. She seemed nice, she admitted. I could do tasks with her. Aviana would feel more confident being alone with Pearl than she would Aduin.

Sebastian smiled at her. He knew that they would have to take small steps before she could do something alone with Aduin or any other male for that matter. "I don't expect you to do something alone with Aduin already but it could be a goal for you that you feel comfortable with him first."

It seemed very logical in his eyes at least. He smiled at her and even reached out to give her a lick. "I will let Pearl know. Maybe she knows some cool girl stuff she can do with you? Although I wouldn't exactly know what girl stuff is," he chuckled lightly.

She was glad that he explained he didn't expect her to be alone with Aduin until she was comfortable. She knew he understood her feelings, but she was glad he had the extra foresight to see the little extras that she would need, like him by her side when socializing with other males. He didn't just expect her to jump right in, and for that, she was grateful. She gave him a soft smile, Thank you.

She looked confused for a moment, and then let a short, soft giggle escape. I don't, either! It had been so long since she got to do any of that stuff, nothing really came to mind. Maybe they could just explore, or hunt. Do you think she'd be alright with staying inside the territory? she asked softly. Aviana hadn't left the borders since she entered them, and wasn't really keen on doing so just yet.

Sebastian smiled when he heard his sister giggle. It was a good sound to hear. The young male quirked up his lips more. "I think Pearl would definitely have understanding for that," he assured her. Sebastian wanted her to feel at home and comfortable in their territory, it would mean she wouldn't want to leave it and not leave him.

Sebastian was already looking into the future and he hoped that Aviana would really grow in the role of babysitter and aunt. Maybe together with Aduin. And for that she would need to be comfortable with that. "Just small steps, you can tell me when you aren't comfortable and we will think of something.

Seb seemed sure that Pearl would be alright with staying inside the territory, and that gave Aviana comfort. She just wasn't ready yet to explore these lands outside of Broken Antler Fern. With his assurance that they would take everything slowly, even more so if she was uncomfortable with anything, she gave him the first confident smile she had in a very long time. 

So... When are we hanging with Aduin? she asked, wondering if this was going to start soon. Now or later wouldn't make much difference- there would still be some anxiety, either way. But, she did feel better knowing Seb was going to be there.

Sebastian looked over her at the question. "When you want to do something together with him. Or you know, when a little job comes up we can do with the three of us. Sometimes I go tracking for Moose and checking them. It is important. But I could use two sets of extra eyes," he offered. Maybe she would like that idea.

He might take Brandy with them too, because well, It seemed that the two lovers had quite a quarrel. Sebastian inhaled softly, because he would not want for them to break up. But, that was another problem.

Seb explained that they would most likely all hang out when they had a purpose to. Aviana had never tracked a large animal, but she suppose she should learn if she was going to help the pack take down large prey. I'd like to learn how to track, she expressed to her dear brother. It would give her something to focus on, too, other than the fact that there would be a male near her. 

Maybe working towards a trade would allow her to turn her attention in another direction, instead of being worried all the time about males. She had been guaranteed several times, by multiple wolves, that she was safe, and her brain was finally letting that sink in. But, she had no idea what trade to work towards. I was thinking... maybe I should take up a trade. You know, something for me to focus on... What kind of trades do you have here? she questioned softly.

Sebastian smiled and nodded. He wanted to be a tracker himself so it was good for him to teach Aviana how to do her tracking and all that. It was good that she started to think about trades. Sebastian nodded. "Well, you could be hunter if you like that. But you could also be a caregiver and help me. Because I want to be a medic, and well, maybe in the soon future we need a babysitter for our pups," he explained. They also had the guardian trade but he doubted she would be good at that.

Sebastian smiled. Maybe Caregiver would fit her. "We also have scout, but that is not so much based inside the territory. You could listen to people and counsel them! Or a naturalist if you know a lot about nature," he explained to her. All the possibilities were open.

He gave her ideas on what she could. Hunter appealed to her since it mostly involved prey and not other wolves, but she sucked at taking down larger animals. She liked that if she went for Caregiver, she could learn and work alongside Seb, though that, along with Counselor, would force her to interact with the other pack members. She reminded herself over and over that Seb was here to protect her, and no one would hurt her.

Scout didn't sound great, as it would take her away from here too much, but naturalist stood out more than any of the others. I think... I'd like to try Naturalist and Caregiver, she tentatively, hoping he approved of her choices. She knew a little already about herbs and plants, though just what she learned from trial and error in the days she was on the run. Still, she figured it would be beneficial. 

Another thought on her mind that she wanted to bring up was her sleeping arrangements. I haven't been sleeping at the communal site, she confessed to him. I hope that's okay. She wasn't sure if he had realized she had been missing from there at night. She was accustomed to finding spots by herself, though a couple times she had chosen spaces that were closer to the communal den site than what she normally picked.  

Sebastian was very pleased to hear about her trades. "That sounds perfect! Because if you can identify plants you can help me greatly with making herbal pastes or saving someone," Sebastian smiled encouragingly at her. The male quirked up his lips and then nuzzled her for a moment in praise.

That was another thing Sebastian noticed. "I noticed, I do think it would be good. You can sleep by my side if you life. However, even though I noticed I didn't want to push or force you to sleep with us. I figured that once you are comfortable you would just join us," he explained to her.

The idea of working alongside Seb appealed to her more and more the more they talked about it. Then I'll get started right away, she confirmed. She was most likely going to start by walking around the territory and seeing what plants Broken Antler Fern had that she was familiar with. 

She felt a little bad by not following the sleeping traditions of the pack, but it seemed Seb understood and accepted her need of space. I appreciate you not pushing. It helps more than you know. If they were to try and get her to do things, even with the most honorable of intentions, she would likely push back, and instead of moving forward, she would be stuck in the frightened state she was in. With the understanding of the wolves here, she was slowly but surely gaining a smidgen of confidence in doing things that were outside of her norm. Maybe I'll look around later and see what I can find. She still couldn't make any promises, but maybe she could find a nice little spot that made her feel safe, even if it was near everyone else's dens.

Sebastian smiled, because he would be able to learn from her too, and the uses of those plants. Or if he needed one he could have her scout for those plants. The male was very pleased that his sister would be so helpful for this pack. He nodded in agreement that she could start right away, then she could just have her brain do something instead of fleeing.

Sebastian offered her a kid smile. "I figured. I hope you will come joins us soon though. Odette and Brandy are there, and Pearl and I of course," he hummed with a encouraging smile. Maybe she would be tempted to sleep with her family. Sebastian nodded at her in return. "I shall leave you then, I need to check up on the borders too," he admitted.

She nodded, understanding he had work to do, and gave him a smile. I'll go ahead and start searching for plants, then. With that, she turned to go. She wasn't exactly sure where to start, but figured she would simply roam until she found something.

Sorry, it's short! You can reply once more, or archive here! <3