He could not pretend that he did not see it, did not worry over it, and perhaps the break from leadership, not that it had to be everlasting by any stretch of the imagination was what he needed to help get the Bay back on the right track. It would give him a chance to speak with Peregrine again, providing the other male's offer still stood without worrying (though he would probably worry anyway), and would allow him to focus upon earning the Gamekeeper trade which he had had decided to pursue in the stead of counselor because it was what the Bay needed; and it wasn't as if he was leaving the pack never to be seen again. If Thistle needed him he would give her advice, or suggestions if she needed it. Knowing his Queen Wife, though, Ragnar had a suspicion that this would not nearly be as easy as he hoped. He had not spoken anything of this to her previous, keeping it well guarded until he was sure that it felt like the right thing to do. If it was right or not, he couldn't be sure of course but he wanted to at least speak with her about it.
With his mind made up, Ragnar drew in the crisp, cool winter air deeply, and let it out in an exhale that carried with it a summons for @Thistle Cloud hoping that she would come to him promptly. As a man of action, Ragnar did not like to dwell on things, and did not wish to linger any further in this purgatory. By the end of this conversation it would be done, he was determined, confident that his last act of leadership — for the time being anyway, until his ambition kicked into hyper drive again — would be to tell Peregrine that he accepted his offer of an alliance, and to pass the word on that his Queen would rule alone for now. If it went that way or not, Ragnar knew was anyone's guess but he had moments where he liked to dream.
She also knew her husband needed to tell Peregrine yet of their alliance. Maybe he could offer some wolves to at least do some hunting for them. They were in dire need of more bodies to fill their ranks. She was slowly becoming more and more worried about their survival. She did not know how Ragnar would handle losing the bay, she didn't even want to think about it.
As Thistle walked in thought her husbands call rang out for her and she smiled softly. She was worried for him and they were busy, but she loved to see him too. Steal small precious moments of time with him, though it sounded as if something of importance was on his mind. Perhaps when it was all said and done she could steal some of his time.
Stifling his own ambition for the good of the pack was no easy feat but it was necessary, he believe in order to breathe life back into the dying embers of their home. The large territory they claimed felt so empty now, barren. Devoid of life as if the ancient thickets of holy ash trees and pines has sucked those who had left into their dark abyss. Never before had it seemed so dark and perhaps menacing even to the Northman.
Thistle claimed his attention when she arrived on the scene in a timet fashion. He saw her soft smile, yet, did not return it. The stoic Jarl instead inhaled and let it out in an lengthy exhale, ears slicking back to rest at half mast atop his skull. In a few moments, Ragnar suspected, she would not be smiling either. The pack was not happy, and neither was he. As far as Ragnar could see he had no reason to be joyful. He was partially blind for absolutely nothing, his pack was a dying thing and he could do nothing to save it. Ragnar felt helpless and he hated the feeling. He saw little sense in beating around the bush, having always favored to make his points by striking hard and fast with them. For a moment the words stuck in his throat, refusing to spill forth from his lips but he forced them out, his accented voice harsh "I am stepping down from leadership." he choked on them slightly, even though it had been his decision to begin with. Facing this truth and choice, however, was not nearly as easy as he had hoped it to be.
Thistle herself was beginning to wonder if it had been her fault that such darkness landed heavily on both the ridge and now the bay. Had she somehow incurred another gods wrath by having her children? While they resided amongst them would there be problems? Was it she that was cursed perhaps by her mother's dark deity Sos. Heaven's preserve them she really didn't know, but it was dark and troublesome of late.
Ragnar did not return her smile and it made her own falter a bit. Then it was quickly squashed at the words he breathed from quiet lips. She stared at him as her body seemed to give away and she sat down heavily. She wasn't sure what to say, so she just stared at him with blue gems full of curiosity and a little bit of anger, but she couldn't bring forth the embers to fully go into tirade, because she was simply so thrown off she didn't know what to say. Excuse me? She fought to bring the few words she could out of her craw and then she waited her body rigid and tightly wound.
"Something needs to be done, Thistle," Ragnar broke the lengthy silence that followed his redundancy. "We dying pack. With my dethroning I can focus on what the pack needs. Food caches, outrider trips, able bodies in the non-leadership ranks." Would he actually be able to do it? Could handle being below one of his subordinates? Likely not. He was too dominant to stand down to them even if they were to rank above him and it might rain holy chaos upon the pack but he had to try something.
She didn't move as he continued to speak but rather sat down and listened. I could do those things as could Gunnar you know? Even Gyda though I don't know if she would come back....Thistle frowned in thought. She did not plan to allow him to do this for long, but if it was what he wanted why stand in his way. She was trying to be more understanding and not fight as much. Oh there would always be arguments, but she was learning to pick her battles or trying too. She was tired of fighting with him, for she strongly thought it was tiresome it was at least on her end.
Blatantly, he ignored her comment of it making much more sense for her to step down because it did, but he wasn't going to ask her to do that. He wasn't going to ask and he wasn't going to let her. If it felt like too much of a burden for her to bear then he would step back up, or relieve her of it if that was what she wished. “If it becomes too much for you to bear I will take my title as Jarl back,” He told her without hesitation. “Do not be too stubborn to tell me or I will take it back by force.” He wasn't threatening her, but warning her. If he felt that she was struggling he would take what was rightfully his, only speaking it so she would not be unprepared if it came to that. “They are children still. We need adult bodies.” And until his children turned a year of age they were not adults in his eyes though they were at the age where they were more than capable of holding their own, certainly.
Thistle studied him and spoke softly I will not let the bay sink Ragnar, it means to much to both of us and our children. She listened to him, foolish feeling that perhaps the last part was a bit of a plea for her to stop her arguing. To perhaps just agree and move on? But is that what he really wanted? or did he want her to fight with him? Make him change his mind? Make him realize he was being silly that they didn't need him to step down. She honestly didn't know what to do in this case.
She sighed and nodded her head Do you really think I wouldn't tell you if I needed help? Especially since it has never been my desire to be a sole leader. Do not fret I will most definitely tell you if that becomes the case? Is this for an undetermined amount of time? or are you planning on stepping back up after a few weeks? When do you want your place back? Or are you just going to wake up one day and say Thistle I'm jarl again? She was not being foolhardy or cruel, she was really trying to make sense of everything and get a feel for how long she would need to carry this mantle of leader alone.
Ragnar could feel the weight of his wife's stare bearing into him, piercing into his soul. He did not believe in such things though it was Nerian's speak of them that had sparked the Northman's curiosity in the idea. If he had one, and if Thistle could currently see into it as it felt like she could then Ragnar could only wonder what it was she found there. Was it a ravaged thing, frightening and ugly in it's design or was it purer than he had once considered in the rare times that he thought of such a thing. There was a part of Ragnar that understood that he was being largely unfair to her, thrusting all the power and all the responsibility upon her dainty shoulders yet, he also knew that could handle it. His faith in that was strong, perhaps incorrigible, but unbending. Ragnar would never have given or trusted her with something that he was not entirely sure that she could handle.
Some had died, and the others had came and left. It was the cycle of life but it was not a cycle of life that Ragnar was willing to accept for the Bay. Packs founded and disbanded every day but he would hang onto the Bay until his body drew it's last breath. Odinn had promised him a long life and Ragnar was only just hitting his prime and did not expect to die any time soon.
Thistle unlike her husband did believe in souls. It was perhaps a bit odd given the fact that they were of the same religion, same culture. But it was true, she felt that it was the very essence in the world. If she had to guess at her husband's color, she would imagine it would be dark in some areas and light in others. Because even in his savage glory he had morals, morals that probably didn't make sense to others. But they made sense to him and that was all that mattered, and those morals made him a little bit purer than he thought. Thistle smiled softly I always have and I always will. Telling the truth of the matter she was her own worst enemy most of the time. I am glad they do. She grew quiet, and looked inward trying to find that strength he always spoke about. She could not see it, though she knew it was true. After all she had taken on enemies twice her size to save her children, her pack and her livelihood and she would do it again. She had taken his own blows to her otherwise gentle heart over and over again, only to come back around and still love him despite all his faults. So yes she supposed she had that inner strength, it just was not always visible.
Thistle's thoughts went to Julooke, and Verinne and all the others that were gone for some reason or another. She missed Julooke more than she cared to say. It was like a piece of a puzzle forever gone. She had loved her friend, loved her as if she were her own flesh and blood. And yet again it had been a bear to take her away.Thistle sighed softly at the thought of all who had left or died.
Thistle studied him and nodded Very well then. Thistle was unsure what else to do so she surged forward and lifting her self up she wrapped him in a wolfish hug if he would allow her. She hoped so, because she was tired of the distance that just seemed to grow and grow between them. I'm tired of distance Ragnar Loðbrók. And she licked his muzzle.
A soft smirk twitched at the edges of the Northman's lips when Thistle told him that she always had and always would underestimate her true power. This did not come as a surprise to him and truthfully, Ragnar had expected no different from her. He could not make her see what he saw when he looked at her, any more than she could make him see what she saw when she looked at him. Ragnar was not nearly so hard on himself as his queen was on herself though he was in certain ways. He pushed himself until he was near his breaking point and in a way, he reflected, perhaps that was his way of criticizing himself. He was by no means a self conscious creature but he had his own ways of self punishment (because Tokio can't think of any other words to use to describe it :x). He was silent when Thistle murmured that she was glad that the Gods always smiled on brave women, though did not voice that the Gods favoring her over him spurred something ugly within him. Lately, it felt that all Odinn did was punish him though what for Ragnar did not know. He gave his eye only for the pack to become rapidly on it's last weak ember of life. What kind of reward was that? Of course Ragnar had never felt so close to Odinn as he did currently, now that they shared a kinship and that simply stoked the Viking's irritation more.
Perhaps it was his own unrest that caused him to feel that Odinn was punishing him, and even if the All-Father wasn't, Ragnar was too damn stubborn to take the hint. Too proud to let go. Perhaps that was what Odinn wanted: the destruction of Stavanger Bay but Ragnar would not — could not let it happen. The death of Pump, and the intrusion of Wheeling Gull Isle had pushed him to found the safe haven for what had previously been the Horizon wolves. He had founded the Bay to be a salvation for him and his and not even the Gods themselves could take it away from him. Or them. Ragnar watched her, studiously, as she rose and drew nearer, tense shoulders relaxing into her embrace. Her touch was familiar to the Northman, her scent flooding all of his senses, the tang of the approaching season tickling his nose like a sneeze that would not break forth. Bluntly, the Northman's tongue drew across her jawline with a suppressed hunger, a fire that had been smoldering for much too long, that he had not allowed to breathe as it needed too.
This time, Ragnar swore, it would be his seed that caused her sides to swell with children. Only his children until the rest of his life. Or hers, whichever came first. He wanted her to entirely disregard what he had said: that if the Bay was not stable enough that they would not have children. After all, she had the sole power to override it now.
Thistle was a critical being of herself at least. She held herself ot a higher standard, perhaps it was because she was young, not yet 3 and already she had children and she led a pack beside her mate. Though soon it would be her sole responsibility. Perhaps she just wanted to be taken seriously and was critical in order to do so. She didn't really know, didn't understand, just knew that was how she was.
Thistle saw the smirk that crossed his face and shook her head in mirth. A smirk was so normal for him it was like breathing, and she reveled in it as well. She was surprised, but never the less pleased that he accepted her touch. As of late he didn't want to be touched, preferring to deal with the business of the pack and then later indulge himself she supposed was the correct term. It was a shame really, for she missed that, craved it, it was like an ache. Strange wasn't it that one was so dependent on another for happiness, and joy and physical intimacy. but that too was something she did not puzzle on long enjoyed the rough touch of his tongue across her cheek and muzzle. Blue eyes dancing with suppressed fire of different kinds, a slow smolder lighting across her inner most places. She chuckled at his next words.
She gave him a secretive smile Yes I know, just as our other children are considered adults. I am looking forward to it, truth be told. A time to throw away most inhibitions, and I'm fairly certain i'll get you all to myself for the length of time yes?. She was teasing, she knew he would not stray far from her side during that time, make sure it was his children that swelled within her. Making sure it was only him that had her to himself. She licked his muzzle again and settling back to her forepaws, she rubbed her muzzle across his neck and further down towards his shoulder and back again.
Ragnar had became used to always putting the pack first. In Odinn's Cove and now here in Stavanger Bay. Despite that he no longer called himself the Jarl of his Bay, he still viewed it as his and still thought of himself as it's Patriarch. Without him it would have never been created...without him there was no telling that this descendant of Horizon Ridge would even be here. Without him, the fate of the wolves he had taken far from the bear and the once threat of Wheeling Gull Isle would have been largely unknown to him. He could not take all of the credit for it, of course, but no one could deny that he had been the force in which had set everything in motion, the force that the creation of Stavanger Bay and their potential lively-hoods had revolved around. Ragnar had not been joking when he had said he would sacrifice anything to protect the Bay, to keep it alive. This decision only added merit to those words.
A deep breath was taken as Ragnar felt the touch of her muzzle trailing down his neck, to his shoulder and back to where she had started from. A low, carnal rumble vibrated in his chest, as he swung his head in her direction, forgetting in the heat of the moment that the side she was on he was blind on. He might not have been able to see her but he felt her of course.
A small smile curved around her mouth at his words and her eyes twinkled at him. I will enjoy that theft. She did not plan on being out and about much during that time. She imagined she would stay hidden except from him for the majority of the time. She would make sure there were others watching their borders and filling the caches and all other things for that week. If only because she one did not want another male near her at all. Secondly she was not herself during that time, she was wild and reckless and irresponsible, and her first had proven that in spades. I do not plan on being around the majority during that time. I will probably stick close to the meadow and surrounding area.
Thistle chuckled softly and huskily at his breath. She liked the fact that she could still make his breath catch. It was a nice, powerful feeling, and if she were not careful it could go to her head. She returned the sound though softer and more gently than he. I have missed yours too. She leaned forward and nipped gently at his shoulder. Sliding her muzzle down his side gently nipping softly in different places, while watching his face. She wondered how long he would let her tease until he had enough and demanded her body for his taking.
The Bay would always belong to him, even after Odinn saw fit to steal him away to Valhalla if he ever made it to Valhalla — it was his legacy as Odinn's Cove belonged to Verndari, a whispered demi-god. Son of Odinn and a mortal female. The founder and first Kóngur of Odinn's Cove's real name was never known, never spoken of. Simply, his wolves knew him as Verndari — the protector. The fact that Odinn's Cove had been around long enough to have these legends was, in and of itself, an accomplishment, and it was what Ragnar aspired for Stavanger Bay. He did not necessarily fancy himself as the Bay's Verndari but to pretend otherwise wasn't giving himself enough credit. He would not be forgotten. As his blood line spread and expanded he would be known as the Lodbrok patriarch. His people had never had a need for sire names. Blood was not important, titles were not inherited: they were earned; but these Wilds were a different place and in order to achieve his goals Ragnar had to fit in, even in small ways.
Thistle did not disagree that Stavanger Bay belonged to her husband. Just as she knew he’d get into Valhalla despite his own doubts. He was a brave warrior, had been before as well. Just because there was less fighting in this area of the world, meant nothing. As far as she was concerned he had already proven himself. And continued to do so as he followed Odin a bit blindly (no pun intended). Thistle knew that some things had to give in order for them to survive here. Some things had to be different here. Blood was different, family was different.
Thistle’s nostrils flared at the amount of her husband’s restraint. As she continued to slide alongside him and nip and lick and nuzzle. She stopped though finally, and slid beside him. She leaned against him and buried her nose into his neck. Breathing him in she waited to see what he wanted. A small smile on her face, happy to have him here with her now.