Moonspear this is the art of breaking

For @Thistle Cloud <3

There was an energy of ...trepidation within Tev as he moved through the claimed territory of Moonspear. Night had settled upon the earth, shrouding it in it's velveteen darkness. This was the time in which Tev could be found as most active, having become almost a nocturnal creature though this was because of his monochromacy. It was in the cusp of dawn, dusk and into the dark of night in which he could see the best for direct sunlight greatly hindered his visual impairment. Saying goodbye to Scimitar and the family he'd found within the Frostfurs hadn't been easy ...and Scimitar had tried to convince him to join them. For a moment, it had been tempting to Kjalarr but he could not make a promise to return and break his oath; and how could he turn away from the fact that he, even as different as he was, was needed. He still wasn't sure how Floki and Thistle Cloud needed him — and he was weary that he would be welcomed with the same attitude that Charon had initially. Hostility, insults. 

Still, he supposed “surprising” his biological mother was a step towards rekindling who he was and what he'd lost. He could not determine how this reunion would go, though he held no favor either way. There were a million different ways she could take his sudden reappearance, and his name change...and his change. Steps ceased for a moment, paw rising to rub at the itchy wounds left on his muzzle by the bear he'd decided to assault. Dumb luck alone had left Tev alive, by encouraging the bear that he wasn't worth the effort to kill, for the Gods alone knew that it wasn't his own wit (which had been horrendously lacking at that particular moment?) that had gotten him out of the mess.

He had been given a vague direction in which he guessed he could find her but these lands were foreign to him and giving him a vague direction was as good as giving him a map he didn't know how to read. Instead of wandering all over the claimed lands all night long until he decided to drag himself into some crevice big enough to fit him and sleep until dusk he tipped his head back and called for her.

 <3

Thistle slept restlessly as it was every night. When dreams and visions of her loves ones passed before her eyes. 
All those she lost both willingly and unwillingly, always starting with leaving her parents behind. It recycled there behind her eyes, each and every night. And she always woke wanting and sad, but she did not let on. She couldn't not now, not when she had promised herself she would do better. So she hid it, stuffed deep down where only the embers remained and she never kindled it, just let it set.

Thistle had not heard high nor tail of her own son being back amongst the living. She didn't know where any of her kin were other than Floki and Charon. Even Levi was missing. She supposed as always that the blame lay with her. She wasn't a good enough mother, she wasn't a good enough wife, but like everything else she tried not to dwell on those raw parts of her, didn't poke the wound. She didn't want to bleed out in a sense all the darkness and sadness and yes anger. She was very angry, but not at her loved ones. No she was angry at fate, or the gods or whomever or whatever saw fit to take everything from her. IT was what kept her spark alive, what kept her from wallowing in the pits of blackness that threatened to suck her down, she hadn't succumbed not yet.


Thistle woke from slumber with a start and she lifted her ears. Surely she was hearing things, but no there it was a again a quiet howl so much like Ragnars and Floki's yet so different. Who was calling at her this late hour? Trudging from the den, she pulled herself from within with a gentle shake. She licked down a few of the spots of fur that sat up each and every way, and she put her petite feet one in front of the other. She had to get by with her nose and senses to try and find the vague direction she had heard the noise. As she stepped into the small clearing that the wolf had called her stood she froze. He stood there tall and strong, just like Ragnar, even the marks on his muzzle so much like her long lost love. However, the gloves that he wore on his paws, were her own making, the simple little piece of her self that matched exactly that of Floki's. Her jaw dropped and she stood shaking in the light unsure what to do or what to say.

Finally, she ghosted forward and stood staring again. Jorunn? Oh my precious boy. Look at you all grown up. She did not dwell on the fact he had been gone, or what may have happened ot him. All that mattered to her that he was here in front of her alive and hardy and strong.

Tev waited, shifted his weight once and took some time to process the knot forming in his stomach at the sound of soft, approaching footfalls. It was nervousness. There had been no nerves upon coming in contact with his twin and Charon ...but then again he hadn't expected to come across them on a mountain. Or spire. Or whatever it was. Tev wasn't too concerned with giving it a name beyond Moonspear. He was reluctant about it, stubbornly clinging to Stavanger Bay despite how ironic it might have been. He had been absent for the move and it seemed that this was where he would be if he wanted to attempt to rekindle his lost relationships. Would she be disappointed by what he'd become? Would she hate Scimitar and Bazi as Charon had? No — at least this was what Tev wanted to believe. Surely, his mother would not strike out so childishly and think that he was brainwashed as Charon had.

Thistle stepped out into the clearing and for a moment Tev's breath caught in his throat as her monochrome form emerged from the shadows. “Hey, mom,” He greeted her, his nervousness evident in the slight tremble to his voice. So far, so good, but he held his breath with anticipation. A moment of hesitation was given, visible in his entire demeanor before he drew in a shallow breath and left it out. “Not that anyone else has listened but I don't...uh go by that name anymore. I go by Tevinter ...or Tev...or even Kjalarr if...if it's better.” but not Jorunn. Jorunn had ceased to fit the man he'd become and he'd shed it and he was stubborn to stick to it even if everyone else (Charon) ignored his wishes.

Thistle did not hate those that had raised her child. No she felt a kinship to them and a thankfulness, perhaps a slight jealousy. But as a mother how could she be anything but grateful. Her son would have perished without them. She did not know their names yet or who they were, but she would need to thank them some day if she could. She studied him in the light, trying to soak him in. It had been so long, it was hard for her to assimilate the child from the man.

Thistle heard the hey mom and it paused her breathing. It had been far too long. How she missed him, and now look no more a child. Thistle frowned and her heart gave a painful squeeze. He did not go by the name she gave him, the one his father had loved. He was named for his grandfather, but she did not say anything. She swallowed thickly and nodded her head, Well which do you prefer Tevinter? Tev? Or Kjalarr? I will try and remember, though it may take me some time. You're older brother Mercury changed his name as well. You have never met him though, none of you have. She grew quiet then thinking on Gunnar, and Gyda and Mercury, on Kaylan and Ragna...all gone. Though hope did grow, if Jorunne or Tevinter could come back perhaps they could too some day.

“Maybe...” Tev paused, licking his lips, “...maybe Tev.” In that way it wasn't fully addressing him as 'Tevinter'. Despite that thus far Thistle hadn't shown any outward signs of flying off in a spitting, insulting rage at him as Charon had, Tev still half expected it. It wasn't fair to assume that she would react the same way: if only because she was older than Charon. She had more life experience than the young Alpha did. Still, his memories of his biological family were all but gone. He did not remember how they were, and even if he had they had changed. He had changed. While Thistle spoke of another older brother that Tev had, that he, too, had changed his name. It made Tev feel a little bit better about the situation, though he remained weary and nervous, nevertheless. He remained unaware that his own father had gone by numerous monikers in his life, too and that it was something that sort of ran in the family.

“I don't want you to think that by taking a different name that I am disrespecting you and ...and my father,” Even though that was probably exactly how it seemed. Disrespectful. “I just...I didn't feel like Jorunn anymore, but Charon still calls me that so I mean you can too.” He didn't have the energy to fight with them all at every twist and turn of the road. If it was going to come to that he would turn his back and leave. He was going to try and for now, that had to suffice.

Thistle perked her ears forward listening. She tried out the shortened version of the name he had chosen. Tev. It wasn't so hard, she hoped it wouldn't be too hard to remember. She wanted him to be comfortable and stay so she would do her best to make sure she did what she needed to keep him home. Thistle could feel the nervous energy coming off of him and he made her sad. He was clearly uncomfortable around her nad that was like a shot to the heart.

Thistle shook her head and smiled sadly. No, it's okay. You were Jorunn a lifetime ago it seems. It makes sense that you would change your name.  You were taken from us much too soon. And though we looked for you, i guess finding you just wasn't in the stars. So it is alright Tev. I will do my best to remember. She wagged her tail, slowly. Unsure where to go from here.

Thistle's willingness to give Tev a chance as a name to call him was nothing if not reassuring to the young legend and visibly he relaxed, though he hadn't realized he'd been bracing himself for insults. Not that Tev would take them, make no mistake. He wasn't a child anymore, and he wouldn't allow anyone to insult him — especially from a bratty child parading around as a king. Until given evidence otherwise that was how Tev chose to see Charon, even if it was entirely disrespectful. Yet, Charon, to Tevinter at least, hadn't appeared to make any effort to respect Tev so why should the courtesy be returned simply because of a position of power? Do unto others as you would have done unto you ...or something like that. Basically, karma was a bitch and Tev wasn't afraid to let her loose.

“I have something to ask you, mom,” Because while Bazi had taken over the role of mother, Thistle was his true mother. By flesh and blood. She had carried him within her womb and even though he was re-learning who she was, he did not deny her, her right as his mother. “Well several things, actually, but anyway...” He trailed off with an errant flick of his tail, giving his head a slight shake as he tried to get himself back on track. “Charon called me a coward, and after he was done insulting me at the borders he then insulted the Frostfurs...I got the feeling that he was basically saying I wasn't a Loðbrok anymore because I'm not the same ...and because I chose not to go by Jorunn anymore. As the matriarch of the family, do you agree with him?” His words were soft as he asked them.

It was her voice that mattered the very most on the opinion because she, shield-maiden as she was, had became the head of the family with Ragnar's passing. That was not all he wished to speak with her about on the matter of his so-called older brother but Tev figured taking things one step at a time would be best.

Thistle watched as his shoulders relaxed, it was interesting and she herself hadn't realized he had been so anxious in her presence. It made her sad in a way. Why he would be so afraid to be around her, she wasn't sure. Was she that terrible now? Was she so depressed and broken that it was hard to be around her? Thistle also was anxious about Charon, he was becoming Rash lately and she wasn't sure if she was okay with following him completely. But she was willing to wait it out, he was young after all. 

Thistle was taken by surprise at his words and then she gave a small growl at the audacity of anyone calling her child, a true Lodbrok a coward. There was no cowardly blood in any of their veins, there couldn't be with a father such as Ragnar. You ignore that. You are just as brave as your father and more so. It doesn't matter what name you go by, or who you call your parents. Because frankly it was Ragnar and myself that gave you life. You are a Lodbrok no matter what you do, what anyone says or what name you go by. And that is a proud title to bear even if only carried by blood.

Thistle frowned again, why would he call the boy a coward. He had been a baby when he had been swept away. He couldn't help it that he didn't remember, or that he had chosen a new name. Another family had raised him.

There was something...comforting (in perhaps what was a bizarre way to him) he found, in the soft growl that slipped from betwixt Thistle's lips as he confessed to her what Charon had said. Perhaps telling Thistle made him a “tattle-tail” but Tev wasn't in any sort of position to care what it may make him look like to Charon if Thistle brought it up with her older son. Charon had made it very clear what he thought of Tev and there was no love lost on Tev's end, either. After all, nothing was worse than being called a coward for something that was entirely out of his control. Thistle's first words were blunt, her command clear and concise. Reminiscent of the shield-maiden his father had always seen her as. He was to ignore Charon's words. Well...that was easy enough to do and she wasn't going to hear any sort of argument from Tev on that particular matter.

“Thank you,” Tev told her, offering his mother a small smile. There was a certain amount of relief to be found in the fact that she — the matriarch of the family — didn't think that he was a coward. Having his mother on his side was a good thing; brought with it a warmth that Tev felt in his chest though he could not explain it. “I know he's my brother, and I know he's older than me and the fact that I don't know him well gives me no merit to speak as such but,” He sucked in a breath and leveled his gaze upon his mother. “He's a brat, you know that, right? His reaction and how he handled my situation on the borders didn't put me in mind of a leader,” So maybe this got him kicked out of the pack. He only cared because he'd been reunited with Floki and Thistle; but leaving wouldn't be the end of the world. Not now that he knew where to find them.

Tev was nothing if not opinionated, and liked to be blunt. Perhaps in this way, he was more like Ragnar than he'd ever know. 

“So why is he leading?” Last Tev knew Thistle had been in charge of Stavanger Bay and yet Charon had made it sound as if he'd been leading Tev's birthright the Bay in her stead. “What happened?”

It had taken some time, but Thistle was becoming more in touch with what had first drawn Ragnar to her. She was losing the depression that threatened to unearth her for a while, and she was becoming more than what she had been for a long time. It was a long time coming, and though she was proud of herself, her pride was bittersweet, for it came at a dear cost. She had to move one.


You're welcome Tev She returned his smile. she listened to him and the more he spoke, the deeper her frown got. She wasn't really sure how this had happened ot be honest. She had let it happen, and she hadn't fought was the quick and dirty version. She gave a wry chuckle at his words. Oh I know that Charon is young and rash. His next question threw her off guard, and she didn't know what to answer at first. So she sat there the wheels turning. I'm not sure i can answer that. First and foremost, i became very depressed, I wasn't a very good leader, or mother for a very long time. I appointed Charon to be Beta to lead beside me, though I was to have the last say in all matters. Then one day he went traveling and upon his return he informed us we were leaving and joining a new pack and he would be the new leader beside Amekaze. I told him i did not appreciate being overlooked that way and the like. However, I don't think he underestood. I don't think he even understands now why i felt that way. We were small, all that was left were myself, ATreyu, Floki Charon and Levi though even he is gone now. Floki was on his side, Levi wuld have been also. So I did the only thing i could do for survival I agreed. I won't lie it has helped me to heal not leading, but Charon has a lot to learn if he wants to even be half of the leader your father was. But I hope that he will grow into a deeper maturity.

She spoke that she thought Charon as young and rash, as to which Tev agreed with — never mind that he probably rivaled Charon for those traits being younger than his older brother and if going after a bear on his own could be considered rash (perhaps that one was just plain, old stupidity on Tev's part). The truth was: he had no room to talk about his feelings and opinions on Charon's leading abilities. It wasn't as if he had any proof he could do a better job — especially since his own opinion likely did not count as a vote. “I don't believe that,” Tev contradicted her when she spoke that she hadn't been a good mother or leader even if she added the words “for a while”. “You were mourning father's dead and there is no shame in that, even if the Northmen celebrate death.” Did the celebration and choice of death take away the pain of loss? Tev didn't think that it would. He didn't know for sure: he had been too young when Ragnar had been slain, after all. 

“So basically he stepped all over your authority so he can call himself a King?" What an ass. “Floki?” Tev asked sharply, more sharp than he'd originally intended. His twin had sided against their own mother? The true leader of Stavanger Bay? “What would father have said? He founded the Bay and now strangers can just do whatever they please in my birthplace.” Tev couldn't explain why that crawled under his skin like a persistent bug. Yet, it did. Perhaps because the Bay had been his home; and it was the only connection to Ragnar, to his lost culture that Tev thought he had (regardless of how wrong that was).

“Sorry,” Tev said after a few stewing moments, inhaling deeply and letting it out. “I have no right, I know,” And getting up in arms about it wasn't likely winning him any points. “What if he doesn't? If no one bothers to correct him he won't learn. Is anyone prepared to deal with it?” Or was everyone contended to brush it under the rug because he made one decision — and one without consulting the one person's who opinion and authority mattered much more than his own. It was times like these that Tev didn't feel like the teenager he was (when in reality he was probably being super childish); but assumed that his concerns wouldn't matter because he wasn't a Lodbrok and he wasn't a leader and he wasn't an adult.

Thistle smiled softly and studied her son. Had she once upon a time thought that this was all that would be left of the 7 children she bore. Never, not in a million years. But it was the fact that he and Floki were all that were left. Gunnar was gone, Mercury was gone, Gyda, Ragna, Kaylan all gone. And here stood Jorunn though now he went by Tev. She didn't quite know why the gods saw fit to torture her so, or maybe those that were here were the strongest. And though she did not bear him, she had Charon. A child she considered her own, even if he wasn't by blood. Just as Ragnar had taken in Gunnar, Mercury and Gyda as his own. She frowned truthfully she had lost most of even Julooke's brood. Perhaps she was not meant to be a mother? 

She shook her head and listened to him and she laughed. It is true that Northmen celebrate death. And why shouldn't they to go to the halls of Valhalla. I'll see your father again one day, and I will truly give him the what for, for leaving so soon. I tried to celebrate his life. But perhaps I am just too common. I was brought into the fold of the vikings, I was not born one.

Thistle smiled at his outrage and dipped her head. You could say that, but I do not think Charon saw it as thus. He was trying to save us, myself included. And though I disagree with how it was handled. And yes i feel slighted, i also know that he had the strength to do what needed done at the time, that i didn't have. Thistle frowned, it still rankled and yes she was still very hurt and even woefully angry that he had pushed her aside. However, what she said was truth. He did what she couldn't or perhaps wouldn't do. Maybe she had just wanted to die, as her husband and her other children. She would never know, for Charon had saved her in a way. Thistle smiled softly and spoke even quieter. I could not repeat what your father would have said. It is not fit for young ears. Though your father may have also moved on to another area, despite how it felt or how it thought about it. Because your father always did what was best for his pack and family. Oh Tev. I do not think many will settled in your birthplace. It is a harsh area now, much overgrown as nature takes it back. Perhaps when you are older you can claim it again in honor of your father. After all, all of you Charon included are princes of wolves.

Thistle frowned again and shook her head. it's okay. His next words caught her off guard, and she opened her mouth to answer and closed it again. She furrowed her brow unsure how to answer. Then she spoke quietly. Though I am loathe to admit it. The way he acts and how he does things, it falls on Amekaze now. It is her job to make sure he does what is best and just. I will always be here. I am his mother just as I am yours. And I can correct him and tell him that he is wrong. But it still comes down to it is his choices and his mistakes to make. And hopefully he will learn from them. And if there comes a time when we will have to deal with his choices or mistakes we will do so then. Only seers can tell the future my dear son, and I am not seer.

Thistle did not seem affronted by his words, nor his strong opinions on matters despite that he had no say in anything; perhaps that was what had inspired such harsh and judgmental viewpoints. His opinion melded in the with the masses ...for now. If there was one thing that Tev knew about himself it was that he could endure and that he would survive. Perhaps it was his Norse blood that made him so resilient, the Berserker heart that beat in his chest. Even at a young age he was strong, or perhaps Freya simply blessed him to survive what would have killed lesser children. He was not a lesser child. Tev was a Ragnarsson and if his father was to be believed the blood of the Allfather Oðinn ran through his veins. “He is probably expecting your ire and he deserves it,” Things would probably be so different if Ragnar still drew breath. The fact remained that his death had set many athing into motion, motions that could not be stopped.

“You are the Queen, and your voice should have outweighed the voice of a child.” A child who was nothing more than a usurper in Tev's eyes. “If they trusted my father then they should have trusted you.” Everything was so messed up to Tev, but dwelling upon it and getting unsettled about it would do him no good. It was done and he had been absent for it all. “I don't care if a pack does settle there. It is mine and it will be mine.” As a Viking he had no qualms about doing what it took to conquer what he wanted. Stavanger Bay had been his home, it had been the birth of his father's legacy and it was where Ragnar's body lay. It belonged to his sons, to his future grandsons. Those that would carry on the Northman's legacy to it's true nature.

“I don't agree with him, or how he chooses to lead this pack and if that's a problem for him he can chase me out,” This was not the only place that Tev had to go to, and even if, eventually, he did get chased out there was nothing that said he couldn't visit Floki, Wildfire and Thistle herself. Perhaps Tev and Charon hadn't gotten the best start, and Tev was willing to be patient and wait to see if their attitudes towards one another could be steered into a better direction. For the sake of the family Tev wished it could be, yet, the Northman held his doubts to the matter.

Thistle did not mind his strong opinions, it simply meant he knew his own mind. His father had been much of the same way. She had grown accustomed to such things, to strong angry males. She smiled softly at the thought, so much like his father and so young and to never have been raised by him. Thistle nodded her head. There was a time my ire would have struck fear into most hearts. IT certainly made your father take note and listen to me. SHe chuckled at the thought of the arguments they had, had. The making up was always worth it though.

Thistle listened to him and flicked her tail once not saying anything at first. She tilted her head and nudged him gently. I hope you do make it your own home some day again Tev. I hope that it does well for you just as it did us while we ruled there. I do not know if they could have trusted Ragnar, all of you were so young when he died, even Charon and Levi were young. She sighed softly and tilted her downy head.

Thistle shook her head. He will get my ire that day. As a leader there are going to be disagreements rather than settle them with violence or by exile. One should try and compromise, that is what makes a good leader and I told him as such, in not so many words though.