Phoenix Maplewood darling, a bad romance

@Saena when u have time! <3

he ran for what felt like hours, days, miles, weeks. the time blended into itself; he stopped to attend basic needs and that was all, sleeping only when he collapsed from exhaustion. Casmir didn't allow himself to think of home, of his mother, his father, his sisters, and especially not the fact that he had left his heart behind in Donnelaith.

someone -- maybe Blue Willow, maybe Lasher -- had told him that a relative led a pack to the south of their own. naturally Casmir headed in that direction, unknowing that the familiar scent he followed was that of the woman he had tried to save first from the large, hulking man, and then from dying alone on the seacliffs.

it was a haggard and pathetic boy that dragged himself to the borders, managing only a breathless howl before he was forced to sit, to sit and to rest.

For the first time in days, Saena managed something productive. Driven by budding maternal instincts, she was able to forget her sorrows for a while by striking into the ground of the maplewood with a vigor born of hormones alone. With bunched brows and gritted teeth, the woman dug into the relatively soft ground near the base of one of many maple trees, and only made it up to her shoulders when she was abruptly interrupted by a howl.

She headed for the borders at a pace that was awkward but brisk, verging on a waddle but somehow still a little bit graceful. Having lost her heavy thoughts and even forgetting her depression in her work, the alpha female was able to approach somewhat readily, though there were lines of loss and grief—not for Reek or Tavi now, but for herself—etched on her face that would be unmistakable to a trained eye. They gave way to surprise and confusion when she finally drew close to the caller on the borders when familiarity tugged at her mind.

He was different, taller and a little broader and with an ear missing, but she remembered him. The young thing who had confronted Sebastian and, later, danced with her on the cliffs. Her memory thereafter was muddled, and she still believed Sebastian had shoved her from the cliffs, but what little she remembered was enough for her to breathe, "you. What're you doing here? Where'd your ear go?" How did he know where she was was a more important question, because as far as she knew they had never exchanged names or addresses, but she was not unhappy to see him. They had met only twice, so they were far from friends, but he had stood up for her at least once and she remembered him for that and was glad to see him well, minus the ear.

Casmir was not expecting to be approached so suddenly -- stupidly he clambered to his feet, eyes falling brazenly on the obvious curves of the pale woman's sides. but it was her words that snapped his eyes back to front; he snuck them bravely to the ground in surprise. "got it bit off," he mumbled, wondering why she was even asking about that. and then his mind chimed to him to be cool, to play it off, but somehow Cas wasn't in the mood to pretend that he was in a good mood, or even happy.

he glanced at the woman again, seeing before he dropped his gaze a second time the sadness wreathing her pretty features, and he wondered if it was mirrored on his own face. "'m looking for Saena," the boy went on, more loudly, the name gleaned from one of those talks with his 'rents where it hadn't been readily apparent he was even listening. 

"she's a relative of mine, through ---" through who, exactly? "my dad knows her," he finished lamely, giving a little wave of his plume at his hocks as he kept his eyes deferentially fixed on the dirt between the woman's paws. "she runs a forest, I guess." good fuckin' job.

Her memory of him was a bold youth, brazen even, and what she was met with instead was a sullen, gloomy creature. His aspect remained turned down for the entire breadth of his explanation, mirroring the way Saena felt about life and circumstance presently, and for a moment she entertained the thought that she was mistaken. But unlike faces, which were easily forgotten, a wolf never forgot a scent, and Casmir's matched the wolf she thought he was.

"Someone's a bit morose," she remarked sharply, stung by his less-than-pleased attitude toward her whilst not knowing in the slightest how justified he really was, but she wasn't in the mood to demand due respect from him on her borders. Instead, her shoulders slumped and her ears pulled back. "You're looking at her," she said a little glumly, matching Casmir's tone with her own, though she did manage a gesture over her shoulder and added, "and this is the forest." Brown and green with some splotches of snow hidden here and there, far from the splendid red of the maples in autumn. In spring, it wasn't special in the slightest.

But she wasn't done with him, because he had mentioned a relative and her mind immediately jumped to Peregrine. Perhaps this was Wildfire's littermate? In spite of her tentative relationship with Wildfire, though, she wanted nothing else to do with Peregrine ever again. "Who's your dad?" she asked, hackles poised to raise and flare if he confirmed her suspicions.

he flinched a little when her harder tones razed his ears. it was the straw to break that humped back, and even as Saena revealed herself, and showed him the forest, Cas felt tears sting his eyes. was he so unmanly that he had to cry every five seconds. "'m sorry," he responded in a voice gone hoarse with sorrow, his own ears cupping his skull. the image of Behati's broken body on the shoreline haunted him; he bit his lip to keep a sob from escaping, and when he had found some shattered bit of composure, he glanced at the pale woman again.

she looked better than when he had seen her last, but not by much. "I'm glad I found you," the Mayfair boy murmured with genuine relief. he couldn't have gone on running for long, and if anything, this trip had taught him that he simply could not outrun the pain, no matter how hard he tried to do just that.

"I'm Casmir Mayfair, Lasher's son," the former Donnelaith-dweller revealed, looking for the first time at the forest. it promised resplendent colour, though right now it looked like every other melted place. "I -- I was hoping that maybe I could live here. I'll do right by you, Sae -- Ms. Saena," the lanky wolf amended, remembering his mother's Manners Course 1010. "I can hunt, and fish -- I can outride, carry messages, whatever you need," he finished, drawing in a breath meant to hide a sniffle -- though it didn't really.

She was about to ask why he was glad to have found her, assuming he was carrying a message from someone currently undisclosed, but then he introduced himself and she was struck speechless momentarily. Lasher. That was a name she hadn't heard in a while and after belittling him at her borders, she never expected to hear it again. So much had happened since then that Saena didn't remember why she had been angry with the druid. Unlike Peregrine, Lasher was a wolf she seldom associated with heartache and trouble, so the grudge she'd held against him was temporary and easily forgotten.

Her heart thumped in her chest as she caught the remainder of his words, even noting a strange sadness trilling at the end. "You're joking," she breathed, looking him over in a new light. "You've been Casmir this whole time? How did I not recognize you?" Perhaps because he did not recognize her. He'd been just a babe when she last lived at the plateau, though, and Constantine had been the pup she saw the most back then. "God, you were so little when I left home," she breathed, marvelling at how like Lasher and how unlike him at the same time Casmir had turned out. She wanted to ask about his siblings, but their names were no longer part of her memory and she fell short.

"Why did you leave the plateau? Has something happened to your family?" My family, but she didn't say it. They weren't family any longer; she'd forsaken them in pursuit of her own ambitions. While she was struck by a sudden desire to go home, make amends, admit she had done poorly and let someone else take the reins for a while, it wasn't something that was possible. She was a leader now, whether a good or bad one, and that was her fate forevermore.

recognition finally washed over saena's ruddy-marked features, eliciting a grin from Casmir. "and you were the one i helped, once or twice. well, tried to," he joked lamely. now that they seemed to know one another, he felt safer swaying his plume once or twice in her direction "you look a lot better, Saena," he murmured, eyes falling unbidden (again) to her curved sides. he knew nothing of the tension that had once been between the woman and his dad, and nor would he have cared.

"we haven't been at the plateau in a long time. dad and Dante decided that we needed a change and so we packed up and moved to the coast right before my little sisters were born." Leth and Deedee -- god, he missed them already. he wouldn't be able to see them grow up and maybe they would forget him, but he simply could not have remained in the beautiful redwood forest.

"they're fine, I just ..." the Mayfair boy paused here to roll his shoulders and draw shaky breath, fighting for composure. "my girlfriend died .. um. an infection. and then -- there was someone else I loved, and just ... I needed to leave," he finished with the rawness plain in his voice, hoping desperately that Saena wouldn't ask him any more hard questions.

"Thanks," she said, and even managed a grateful smile. She was haggard compared to how she'd been a month ago, but even now she was better than when she had last seen Casmir, physically at least. Mentally and emotionally she was so drained she wondered if she was even alive somedays. She felt zombie-esque. To be told she didn't look completely like a corpse was reassuring.

She was surprised to learn of the plateau's move and to hear that Lasher had more children, but not to hear that Dante was still involved. She almost asked what Casmir thought of him, but managed to hold her tongue with a personal reminder that it didn't matter. Instead, she tried to focus on the positives: "little sisters, huh? Hard to believe it's already been that long since you were born." It was even harder to believe she would soon be welcoming her first litter into the world, albeit under less than ideal circumstances.

She wanted to ask more about them, but as Casmir explained the reason for his departure, she found it hard to grasp the words. "I'm sorry to hear that," she said, thinking momentarily of Junior and how her sister had almost succumbed to infection as well. Her heart wrenched painfully in her chest and before she could stop herself, she blurted, "my mate cheated on me, so I kind of get it." Saying it aloud still brought tears to her eyes, but she fought them as best she could and said, "how upsetting it is to lose someone, I mean. I'm lucky to have wolves who can help me through it." She blinked back her own misery and finally accepted Casmir to the woods with a suggestion of, "I hope we can be that for you, too."

she mentioned again how young he was; this made the boy feel a little awkward, but he knew she meant well. however, when Saena's pretty eyes filled with tears, when she accepted him into the pack on their mutual pain, the Mayfair child's ears folded back against his skull. what a stupid man! and to leave her with pups, also! he was reminded guiltily of how he had treated Behati, falling in love with Aria -- he justified it by telling himself that he would have never impregnated his girlfriend, only to leave her high and dry.

"i'm sure you can be," the boy murmured, stepping toward his ... cousin? aunt? he didn't know how the hell they were related, just that they were. before he continued on, to explore the new forest and meet his packmates, he looked pointedly at Saena.

"I -- I ... uhum," he mumbled, feeling awkward. "we're family. let me ... i want to be there for you, you know?" it's not like she needed his help -- he was sure she had a great support system -- but for once in his damn life, Cas wanted to be selfless and help someone other than himself.

He was right. They were family, but not in the traditional sense. She had nothing left of her true family—Pied was dead, Kisu was long gone and Pura might very well be dead as well—and the rest of her family minus Peregrine and his branch was a fabrication, but one she took some comfort in, even whilst denouncing them. She was moved to rekindle her relationship with Lasher but knew it probably wasn't possible now. From the sounds of things, he was far away and she wouldn't be going far any time soon.

"Of course," said Saena, extending to Casmir the privilege that only her closest subordinates would have. There were only two, and now three, wolves who would have the privilege of meeting them in their very first days. "Let me help you, too," she insisted, "when you need it." She wanted to tell him she had endured a lot of loss in her life as well, but somehow didn't think it amounted to what he'd been through and was too ashamed to compare them. Even the loss of Junior paled next to the loss of a partner and, knowing nothing of Casmir's dual interests, she assumed his had been the for life sort.

"C'mon, I'll show you the forest's heart," she said with a gesture. There was nothing special there except Saena's half-dug whelping den, but it was the center of the territory and from there he could determine what he should do next, and where he should go.

fading <3

unknowingly, he had been admitted into Saena's inner circle of companions -- had he known, he would have made more of an overjoyed exclamation about it. however, he did not -- he offered her pretty face a little smile as he fell into step beside her. 

there was a beginning here, he felt. Donnelaith had been the end of his first phase; he couldn't have stayed there. but the Maplewood -- this could be phase two. plot twist: Casmir was a geek. he had family here -- and there was no girl to distract him

he could grow. he could heal. Casmir walked beside Saena with more elation in his heart than he had felt in some time.