Neverwinter Forest Billy Jean

@Allure

Shrike had sauntered away from the Caldera with his head spinning. He hadn't had time yet to process the events of the past 48 hours, and still could not believe everything that had happened. His cousin had died- he didn't even know how or why Peregrine had perished, and had no way of knowing now. Not that it mattered- but if questions were asked- and he figured they would be- he would simply have no answer other than that he looked as though he'd died on his own. 

A strong feeling of violation seemed to be stronger than the feeling of loss, though. He felt as though he'd nearly been coerced into something that could have ruined his life...And exactly that had happened- there was no doubting it- but denial and disbelief kept his mind reeling. It was too much to be real, and he kept waiting to wake up from the nightmare. 

By the time he reached Neverwinter Forest he was exhausted. He hadn't slept since Peregrine had died and had left the pack immediately following his altercation with Fox. Could he go back? He doubted it. She likely wouldn't have him back and he wasn't sure he could even bring himself to return. He needed some time away, to think and process so he'd headed straight toward Neverwinter Forest in search of the one wolf he needed to see. 

Sullenly, he called out for her with a hoarse and haggard voice, surprising himself with how bereft he sounded and immediately he felt ashamed. He was weakened by everything, and he knew Allure would see it. But at that moment, she was all he needed, and he prayed silently as he waited that she would understand.

There was a finality of devastation that had settled upon her. The pack had scoured the lands for Rannoch and had come up with no leads. Shrike had even attended many trips with her, and the bi-toned girl had found a certain comfort in his presence as the days wore on.

But there had been no signs of Lucy or her brother, and hope was harder to come by. She mourned for the boy just as much as she had mourned the loss of her litter mate. The Frostfur's were used to heartache, but the loss never made it easier.

She tried to tend to @Cypress, who had lost his best friend. Eshe remained sick. And Scimitar had not been back in days, which was unlike her father.

Uneasy that something had happened, the girl took to keeping herself busy and swept the borders.. the pack grew smaller still as days passed, and even Pasha and Kieran had gone missing.

Shrike's howl was most welcomed.. but something was off and the swarthy girl swept to his side as fast she could. Her eyes fell upon him with worry, and closing the distance between them, she tipped her muzzle up to greet her friend with a nudge to the cheek.

As soon as Shrike saw Allure, a warm feeling crept into his chest and mingled with all the torment and grief. He did not know what to say, but immediately she seemed to sense his pain and swept up to nuzzle his cheek.The only shred of physical comfort he'd felt following Peregrine's death had been from Fox, and it had been unwanted. But he felt himself open up and welcome Allure's touch, anf leaned into her shoulder. 

He was quiet for a few moments, opening his mouth now and again to speak, but only sighed. Where did he start? He didn't want to gush everything, but he needed to talk. 

"I think I'm out of the pack." He said, tone soft and worried. "So much has happened." He said. He didn't continue- he wanted to be prompted or asked, first. "I can't even believe it."

There was a lingering silence between the two, and while words stirred to in her mind, she allowed him the silence to gather his own thoughts. Something had happened -- and for a dawning and terrible moment, ahead quietly prayed that it had nothing to do with the two pups they had been searching for over the last few weeks.

But while his next words would shatter him, the ebony and white girl could not help but feel a flicker of relief that this had nothing to do with Rannoch or Lucy. "What do you mean?" Her own tone was soft, and she pulled away to look up at him, concern etching itself upon her features. She had always believed the Caldera wolves of be fickle and clique-ish beasts, but Shrike had been nothing but loyal to them when she had not.

When she pulled away, Shrike feared to see doubt or suspicion on her features, but they were as soft and concerned as they had ever been. He sighed and sat down, shaking his head. He blinked his tired eyes and paused for a moment, not sude if it would be too much to tell Allure or not...But some tiny part of him took pride in the decision he'd made- to refuse Fox even though many wolves would have leapt at the chance both to breed and become Alpha. Some tiny part also thought him foolish for giving that up, but his morals had been what had stopped him from doing something that he did not feel was right in any way, and he hoped Allure would feel the same. Otherwise, he would lose the last wolf he wanted and needed to have on his side. 

"Peregrine died." He started, closing his eyes for a moment. He hadn't even had time to process his grief after losing his cousin. "I don't know what caused it...He just died." He said. He breathed in deeply and allowed the air to seep out shakily. Peregrine's death wasn't the worst of it. He grieved for his lost friend, of course, but he feared telling Allure the rest even more. "Just two days ago. Less'n two days." He said, trying to fit the timeline together, and still he wasn't sure how long it had been. "Fox...Approached me, last night. She's..." She's what? "Hormonal..." He said, awkwardly. "And grieving. Both..." He said, not sure which Fox felt more strongly- the loss of Peregrine or her need to mate. "She asked me to be alpha alongside her...But needed me to mate with her." He said, and choked on that same breath. He felt violated, and could still feel her touch, which had come at the wrong time and for the wrong reasons. "I wouldn't do it. Couldn't." He said. "She...Got angry and exiled me." He said. He finally lifted his gaze to meet those brilliant aqua eyes he'd instantly fallen for. "This was the only place I could go. Only place I wanted to go."

She studied him, trying to determine any particular reason the Caldera wolves force him from his home. Had they found out he had been scouting with her? Had that been an issue to them? No sooner did he though cross her mind and she felt her lips pull to form an apology -- had she done this go him?

But he spoke -- weary as he sank too his haunches and informed her of Peregrine's death. Even during her time there, the alpha male had never told her his true name -- shitheed indeed. 

But there was more to the story then he untimely demise of the ebony Caldera leader. Fox had ousted him. And Allure blinked in confusion. "She kicked you out because.. you refused her?" Again, her rising ire at the Caldera wolves became known in her tone, but she gave a gentle shake of her head.

Why had he refused her? A mate and rank.. puppies. There was a flicker of relief in her chest, but nothing she could recognized in reasoning. Instead, her muzzle tilted up, her eyes softening upon him still. "Stay here. Dad isn't home right now.. but he won't refuse you." Stay with me.

"Yes. I think so." He said. "She was just...Outraged." He said. He felt bad, making Fox feel even worse, but there was no way he could have upset her children and her entire life by stepping in alongside her. He never would have cared about her in the right way. He'd thought about it on his walk to the Forest, how things would be if he had accepted her offer...No, not her offer, her demand. Her threat. He would have been miserable. The other pack wolves would have hated him for getting with Fox the day after her mate died. Gannet and Whip would have despised him for stepping into their father's role without so much as being consulted. The pack needed to grieve, he thought, before they accepted anyone into Peregrine's role- but that hadn't been his choice. "But I couldn't do it." He said softly. 

What she said next warmed him, and he moved forward to run his nose along her jaw and set his chin upon her shoulder, with his chest pressed up against hers. What she said about her father raised a flag in his mind, but all he wanted to do just then was hold her and he simply assumed her father was out looking for Rannoch. Had he taken Fox into his grasp he would have felt empty and dead, horrified at the fact that he was holding his cousin's widow in his grasp, but with Allure everything felt right. This was why he had denied Fox- because this was the feeling he was meant to have when he held someone. 

"Thank you, Allure." He murmured into her soft, dark fur. He wasn't sure, still, if Fox would calm down and want him back in the pack, and if she did, would it be right for him to refuse? He would be abandoning them when they needed him most...But he was able to console himself with the knowledge that Fox had kicked him out. If she wanted him back, she would have to find him; otherwise, he would simply be obeying her orders, and at least in that one way, he could fulfill her wish. Affectionately, overwhelmed with relief and gratitude, Shrike gently ran his teeth through the fur at the nape of Allure's neck. This was the feeling he wanted, the reason he'd left his former life in the Caldera behind. This was worth everything. "I want to be here. With you."

Outraged?

The quiet girl herself had never put herself out there to another -- had another confessed feelings or desire to a man, or even placed her trust in another that was not her family. She could not grasp the concept -- not at such a young and naive age, and so she just shook her head, placing Fox in the 'crazy' category as she had been apt to believe for awhile now.

Shrike coaxed a hug from her, his muzzle settling a comforting weight upon her shoulder, and she tipped her nose toward the warmth of his chest, inhaling the gentle familiarity of the Caldera that still clung to him. How awful it must feel to be ousted from ones home -- but then again, Peregrine had also met her with teeth when she had told him she wished to be with her family.

"When my father returns, we can talk to him about you joining, if that's what you'd like." She could not grant him a pack -- she was not within the leadership tier. But she could grant him a safe haven until that moment, and pulling back, she cast him a gentle smile, hoping his worries would fade with time.

Shrike pulled away slowly when Allure, granted him permission to stay with her in the pack, and until Scimitar came back, he'd be unranked, unofficial. He was willing to wait and, of course, to stay with Allure. He nodded, and smiled gently. "I'll do everything I can to earn his welcome." He said. Patrol, hunt, socialize with the other pack members- he'd prove himself useful, he was sure of it. Having a goal gave Shrike a bit of hope; if he pleased Scimitar, he would have a home- the same home that Allure had. 

He sighed gently. Not wanting to talk about the Caldera anymore, he gestured that they should start walking, searching. "No signs lately?" He asked, wondering aloud about both Lucy and Rannoch, and if any trace of either of them had been seen.

He pulled back, and she nodded as he spoke – there was nothing more to do until Scimitar returned and passed final judgement, but she did not worry on the matter much. If she vouched for him, the she-wolf held no doubt her father would allow Shrike to remain in their ranks. He would be a valuable asset – and they could not turn that away for the moment.

“No,” she responded, feeling her heart flutter with upset at the thought that Rannoch was still out there, with Lucy… cold, and possibly hungry. She released a gentle sigh, her muzzle tipping down as she felt the weight of defeat pull at her. “I’ll scout out again soon – but until then, let’s get you fed.. and rested. You’ve been through enough for the day.” Tilting her head, she beckoned him then, her pale paws pulling over the borders and to seek either a cache or a quick meal the two could feast upon – she herself was feeling a bit hungry.

Shrike hadn't felt the tiredness above the numbness until Allure mentioned giving him rest and food. It was then that he felt weary and heavy, and followed her complacently, like a dog meandering obediently behind its belover owner. He felt bad knowing that she would give him some of the food stored for the pack's use- but then again, he was to be a part of the pack, and he knew that he would repay Allure with everything he had. Once he was rested and re-energized, he would begin again, in Neverwinter Forest, resuming his role as guardian and hunter, and would do his best to make sure that the pack was well taken care of.