Firefly Glen in the name of carrying the world on your back

BROTHA!!! only if you have time/want to kim. i made it aw so there's no obligation. <3

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Moonspear loomed like a spear head pointed towards the dark morning sky, as if it stretched just a little higher it might pierce Mani and spare Hati the never victorious chase in her conquest to devour the moon. For the first time ever, he made a connection of the mountain's name with a slight irony that twisted the northman's lips for the briefest of seconds. His brother was there. Somewhere. Despite Kjalarr's strong, relentless and festering desire to speak to his better half he did not call out for him, nor near the place he was banished from. His grievances with Charon were old wounds long since healed. Kjalarr wasn't the arrogant boy he'd once been and though he desired to put the past where it was: in the past and leave it there he did not forget the death warrant upon his head. Perhaps even lingering in the Glen was too close despite that he lingered much nearer to Neverwinter Forest's borders. He didn't know. Presently, he didn't much care.

Kjalarr did not stray far from Neverwinter's borders, within howling range should anyone call for him, which was exactly what he'd told Ondine before he went on his patrol and tapered out into the free territory. Besides being increasingly petrified of fatherhood, the growth of Ondine's sides with his children like some sort of doomsday clock, Kjalarr felt more or less helpless as to what he could do to make her comfortable. He'd brought soft furs from hunts to act as bedding between her swollen belly and the cold, hard earth of their den. He had no idea what he was doing, only what he thought was right: trying to uphold his promise and take care of her and by extension their children.

Scimitar and Eshe's deaths weighed heavily upon the beserker and he felt the weight of the resistance he'd been met with at his ascension to the throne beside his aunt Kaskara. He had not expected that to be easy and was more than prepared to earn their respect. That was much easier than facing the squealing, helpless newborns that would soon come into his life. It was rare that Kjalarr sought anyone's council but if there was one wolf in the world that he found he would listen to it was @Floki. His agitation grew as he measured how close and yet how far Moonspear was and if he was feeling particularly stupid enough to risk his life to see his brother specifically. In the end, he decided against it, letting his agitation fester, and instead took to pacing to and fro without any real purpose other than to ebb the feeling, wondering if his twin would feel the phantom of it as he'd been known to feel Floki on occasion.

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<333

Kjalarr need not call for his brother; the invisible tether that strung them together gave a tug, and Floki felt it. There was an inexplicable turmoil within him, and when he could not immediately identify its cause, he realized that it likely belonged to his twin. He wasn't yet ready to set off on his next trip to the coast, though his paws drew him into unclaimed territory nonetheless.

It was uncanny, the way the cold wind brought him Kjalarr's scent. He smiled and forged ahead, into Firefly Glen, while wondering what had brought his brother so far inland. Kjalarr's agitation was visible even from afar; the viking moved back and forth, walking a straight line with no real destination. Floki called out to him as he approached: "Brother!" Despite all they had been through and their seemingly perpetual separation, there was a feeling of relief that washed over Floki as soon as he set eyes on Kjalarr.

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His agitation drew paramount and then crashed down in a wave of calm after a storm as the familiar voice of his twin broke the swarm of his thoughts and his gaze took the unmarred version of himself in with a hefty sigh of relief. It was instantaneous and Kjalarr did not hesitate as he strode to close the distance between them and embrace his better half. Whether Floki was here because of divine intervention or because he had picked up on the agitation and need to see him Kjalarr didn't know and wouldn't ask. It didn't matter. What mattered was Floki had materialized and that it had been too damn long since they'd last caught up with one another. Now that Kjalarr lived closer he hoped that they could spend more time together. “Floki,” Kjalarr greeted him with a wide smile and wagging tail.

“I have much to tell you, brother.” Kjalarr began but did not elaborate. “You look well, Loki,” He assessed, pleased. “How have you been?” Because slowly Kjalarr was learning to put others before himself and if there was absolutely one bridge in the world that he did not want to set fire to (again) it was the bridge with his twin. Over time, Kjalarr would learn to turn to his wife Ondine as a confidant but it would never be quite the same as the absolute and unwavering trust he had in Floki.

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The change in Kjalarr's expression and stance was obvious the moment he set eyes on his twin. The irritation seemed to seep away and was replaced by a calm that Floki himself mirrored. Though they saw each other infrequently, it was always like they had never missed a beat when they were once more in each other's company.

"Good," he replied, bobbing his head as he thought back to his last meeting with Kjalarr. Since then, he had become an uncle to Charon's daughters -- which meant that Kjalarr, too, had unknowingly stepped into the familial role. Whether or not Charon considered him as such was a different topic altogether. "We have nieces -- Charon's mate gave birth to four girls," he said, choosing to share the information despite the rift between his two brothers.

Then, still curious as to why Kjalarr was so far from the coast, he asked, "What brings you so far inland?"

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Kjalarr struggled for a moment with what to do with Floki's knowledge that Charon's mate had given birth and that Floki considered them his nieces too. It was doubtful it was sentiment shared and Kjalarr himself was unsure if he considered the children his family. In truth, they really weren't, but the sins of the father would not be carried to his daughters this much Kjalarr knew. “That's good,” He settled for, a bit awkwardly admittedly. Which reminded him of nieces and nephews that were actually theirs by blood. “I don't you know but our elder sister Gyda, she has had children as well.” There was a possibility Floki already knew this but Kjalarr deigned to share it just in case. He shifted his weight before he settled back upon his haunches. “Speaking of children,” the very root of Kjalarr's terror these days. “I'm going to be a father, Floki.” and it terrifies me he didn't add the rest but there was a slight swell of it in his chest for a moment before he drew on the calmness that his twin inspired on him. If there was anyone in the world that could calm the storm that was Kjalarr it was without any doubt Floki.

Floki posed a question and Kjalarr latched onto it eagerly hoping to not have to delve into why he was so afraid of his upcoming status (so many reasons). “Saltwinter has disbanded,” Not the proudest of Kjalarr's moments, admittedly, but there was no sense in holding onto a ship that had already sunk. He had followed it to the belly of the ocean but Saltwinter's end did not mean his end and he'd moved on. “I have moved my mate, Ondine, and I to Neverwinter Forest. Shortly after we arrived three of our wolves discovered that Scimitar and Eshe have been killed by bears and I have stepped up beside Kaskara as Alpha Male.” His ascension to the throne was not a joyous one, not in the slightest. He did what he had to. For his unborn children, for the grieving Frostfurs. Kjalarr grieved too, of course, but he mourned by burying himself in duties and work and obligation. The weight was heavy but it kept him focused. When it rained it poured, and it poured for days. Either that or Kjalarr just had the misfortune of being a catalyst for destruction.

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Gyda. Floki had forgotten about her over the last few months, but at one point, he had very much wanted to meet his half-sister. The name of Gyda's co-leader slipped his mind, otherwise he might have mentioned his chance encounter to Kjalarr. But before he could comment on the news, Kjalarr revealed something else -- something that Floki had certainly not expected to hear.

"I'm going to be a father." Floki blinked, absorbing the information. His initial reaction included a flash of jealousy mingled with disbelief. He masked his emotions quickly and quietly, instead expressing excitement -- which wasn't difficult, since he was happy for his brother. This wasn't the only major change in Kjalarr's life, however; he had also recently taken over Neverwinter Forest as its Alpha.

Floki gaped at his brother for a moment before his mouth shifted into a grin. "Holy shit," he said unabashedly. "You have been busy. I'm sorry to hear about Scimitar and Eshe," he continued, sobering slightly at the mention of his brother's adoptive parents. Once upon a time, he had felt only bitterness towards the family that had taken in a young Kjalarr; but now he understood the importance of kin, even if they weren't related by blood. "Tell me about your mate -- and how do you feel about becoming a father?" he prompted eagerly.

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Despite Kjalarr's talk of Gyda he had yet to meet her and, in all truthfulness, was not so sure that he honestly wanted to. Given his standing with most of his biological family he wasn't overly eager to destroy yet another blood relationship. He was lucky that through it all, Floki still loved him and forgave him. The excitement in his twin's expression caused Kjalarr to falter, unsure what was broken in him that he could not feel the same. He should have been excited to be a father but all he could muster was terror at it. “They were good wolves and they did not deserve an untimely end,” Still, some part of Kjalarr baffled at it. How he, as a small child and dumb teenager had managed to narrowly avoid death twice (three times if one was to count the famine and the lengths he'd went to avoid starving to death) but a single bear had done in not just Eshe but Scimitar too. It almost wasn't fair.

Floki asked then about Ondine, encouraging him to share details about her and in that Kjalarr floundered as well. Though he made an effort to be the mate that Ondine deserved there was still much they didn't know about one another and their mateship currently was more of convenience than love and Kjalarr was not a poetic romantic by any means. “She's stubborn,” That much he knew from her fights with Maude. “and beautiful. She's a little bit older than us.” Kjalarr didn't know exacts. He hadn't asked because it didn't really matter. “Our mateship it...it wasn't planned, exactly,” Because he couldn't lie to Floki. “I was stupid — not that it's probably much of a shock,” He mumbled the last half under his breath. “— and I took her during her cycle,” Kjalarr cringed slightly as he considered that it wouldn't be the last time he made an arrogant and hormone ruled decision in his life. “When she began showing signs of pregnancy I did what was right. At least, I think I did. I wasn't going to just leave her and my children. I can't.” If there was anything good at all about Kjalarr he liked to believe that it was his sense of duty.

“She's afraid of losing me and she says she cares for me and I think I am beginning to care for her but I don't know,” It was hard to tell with his emotions stretched thin and overwhelmed as they were. He wondered idly if Floki would think down on him for it all — he probably deserved it, in all honesty. “Honestly?” Kjalarr took a deep breath and let it out at Floki's question of how he felt about becoming a father. “I'm terrified. I want them, I do but I...I don't know how to be a father. Raising kids isn't like ruling a pack. What if I...what if I mess up? What if they hate me?” He'd aired these concerns out to Ondine herself but it felt good to get them off his chest to someone whom wasn't Ondine; because at the end of the day he trusted Floki's wisdom. Kjalarr wasn't fishing for hollow reassurances that he wouldn't believe, wasn't even sure he was looking for any kind of answer in truth. More than anything Kjalarr was just relieved that he could spill what was eating at him to his closest confidante.

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Floki couldn't quite explain that short, sharp burst of jealousy he had felt. He had a lot to be proud of, including his position in Moonspear and his trades, all of which he had worked hard to obtain. But hearing that Kjalarr had a mate and would soon be a father threw him for a loop. There was something missing in his life, and he wasn't sure how to fill it -- or even if he wanted to. Wildfire had left his heart damaged, and despite the fact that Charon seemed to think he could easily shack up with Pyx, it didn't seem right.

He pushed his own troubled thoughts to the back of his mind as Kjalarr opened up and confessed that his relationship was far from perfect and that he was worried about having children. Floki's envy ebbed away, replaced by empathy for his brother. He was proud of Kjalarr for stepping up after getting Ondine pregnant. It would have been easy for him to have turned his back and left her to deal with the situation herself, but he had done the honorable thing.

"I think you'll be a good father. You've already done the right thing by staying with Ondine; at the very least, those children will know they have a dad that cares about them. And I'm sure they won't hate you. Ragnar might not have been around to teach us how to be dads, but you've had a good role model in Scimitar -- right?" he said. "Besides, they'll have a kickass uncle who will come visit them all the time and make sure their dad is doing a good job," he teased with a laugh.

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Floki brought up a good point to Kjalarr: that even though Ragnar had died before they'd really known him he had found a good father figure in Scimitar. Kjalarr could aspire to be like the late Frostfur monarch but he also knew that he'd never be. Still, perhaps there was guidance to be found in his memories of growing up with the Frostfur's; and instantly though Kjalarr had not been seeking reassurance, Floki's guidance calmed the turmoil that had been wreaking havoc on him for a while now. Floki's wise words always had that calming effect on Kjalarr and the northman was grateful that the Gods had blessed him with his twin because he couldn't imagine a world without him ...or what kind of a mess Kjalarr would be on his own (haha). A geuine laugh left Kjalarr's lips when Floki said that they'd have a kickass uncle who would make sure he (Kja) was doing his job. “You have my full permission to kick my ass if I'm doing a poor job,” Kjalarr granted to his brother with a toothy grin.

“They're due in a few weeks time, I think. She grows rounder by the day it seems.” All Kjalarr knew was that they had to be coming and soon. He'd never really been around a pregnant female to know for sure but he wasn't a dumb oaf (as much as Torvi picks at him) and he was fairly quick at deducing things. Plus, he turned to Ondine to tell him as it was her body and he felt that if anyone should know the babes were coming into the world soon it would be her. “Floki, I definitely want you to be apart of their lives. I don't want you to be a stranger to my children when you're the most important wolf in my life.” Perhaps that was backwards but it was nevertheless true. He would never have the bond with anyone that he had with Floki and through all the shit Kjalarr put him through he was relieved and ecstatic that their bond had survived, seemingly stronger than ever.

“I'm not sure how to get word to you when they are born but I want you to meet them,” He paused for a moment and added sheepishly a moment later, “and Ondine, of course.” His tail wagged behind him for a moment. “Would you be their godfather?” He asked his twin, then, knowing that there was no one he trusted more to raise his kids if something were to befall him.

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It sounded like the puppies would arrive sooner than later. Despite the jealousy simmering quietly below the surface, Floki was happy for his brother. He laughed and nodded at Kjalarr's insinuation that he would make sure he followed through in his role as a father, happy to take him up on the offer. "I'll make sure I keep you in line," he teased, though he sobered slightly as Kjalarr's tone changed and became slightly more serious.

The logistics of ensuring that he could be a part of his nieces' and nephews' lives would be difficult to figure out, especially considering the bad blood between Kjalarr and Charon. But Floki knew that he would be willing to make the effort to see his twin's children. He bobbed his head, already thinking of a plan for receiving word of the pups' birth -- then paused when Kjalarr bestowed upon him a great honor. Godfather. Floki was surprised and any traces of envy he had felt quickly melted away. His face softened into a smile.

"Absolutely. I would love to be their godfather," he said earnestly. It was hard to believe that the two of them were old enough to begin continuing Ragnar's bloodline with their own progeny. "If you think Ondine is due in a few weeks, then I will just plan a trip to visit. Maybe in two turns of the moon? It will be easy since Neverwinter Forest is close and you're in charge," he suggested.

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In this moment Kjalarr was happy. He was happy that he was closer to Floki now than he’d been in Saltwinter, even if it meant he was closer to Charon whom, though he desired to smooth out the ugliness of the past between them, he was still at odds with, and he was happy that despite the trails and tribulations that they had gone through (most of which were Kja’s own fault) that they emerged stronger than ever. That Kjalarr was able to stand before his twin, his best friend and offer him the greatest honor that Kjalarr could think to give him and know that there was nothing else he wanted more than Floki to be the godfather of his children. There was a swell of emotion in Kjalarr as he noticed his twins’ smile and heard the confirmation that he accepted the offer. In that moment Kjalarr’s heart felt lighter, having weighed so heavily in his chest with fear, guilt and love for the beings that grew within Ondine’s womb; and that Floki knew it all: the good, the bad and the ugly. Kjalarr was not a perfect man, didn’t aspire to be. He only wanted it to be known that despite his mistakes he tried his best to make them right which was all he figured he really could do.

“Yes, that sounds good. No one should give you any trouble but just call for me and I’ll take you to them.” At least, no one had better not give Floki any trouble. Despite how much Kjalarr wanted to extend an invitation for Floki to simply enter the lands with his expressed permission at any time seeing as he was not the sole Alpha did not seem like a particularly fair thing to offer, and especially not without Kaskara’s permission so Kjalarr did not offer it. Even though, it would not be hard to mistake the twins for one another. If not for the ugly scars that marred Kjalarr’s muzzle they could physically pass as one another well enough. Personality wise: not so much. Floki was the kind of man that Kjalarr aspired to be, with a clear head on his shoulders and a warmth that drew everyone in to him as opposed to the …coldness, stubbornness or arrogance (or perhaps all three) that tended to drive a distinct and unrepairable wedge between Kjalarr and others (namely all of his biological family except for Floki). Hence why he always spoke of Floki as his better half.

For a moment Kjalarr hesitated knowing that the subject was probably touchy. “So, what about you Floki? Have you settled down?” Kjalarr didn’t add again knowing that the break of his and Wildfire’s relationship had to have been extremely hard on him. They had loved one another and to this day Kjalarr was still unsure of what had caused it, other than perhaps they had settled too young. Despite his hesitance out of respect for his twin he was curious and eager to not be so selfish in this conversation by making it all about himself (something that Kjalarr was also very good at).

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Floki grinned broadly as Kjalarr gave him instructions for when he came to visit Neverwinter Forest. He already couldn't wait to meet his nephews. Although he loved his nieces a great deal and would always want to be a part of their lives, there was something different about knowing his own twin was going to become a father. Charon's children were, truthfully, not related to him by blood; and this wasn't something that ever bothered Floki, but he couldn't deny the connection that he would have with Kjalarr's offspring.

As Kjalarr shifted the conversation, Floki's smile faded slightly and became a little wistful. He hadn't settled down, although Charon wanted him to -- and now Kjalarr was wondering about his relationship status, as well. It was a question that always reminded him of Wildfire. She had been his first and only mate, and since then, no one else had held a candle to her. He had had crushes, of course, but nothing really to note. He shook his head, but shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly at the same time.

"No, not yet. Still the bachelor's life for me," he replied with a chuckle. "But it works for me right now -- I can keep doing a lot of scouting and exploring. Being an uncle will be good enough for now," he added with a playful wink.

i couldn't remember if you wanted me to wrap this up or not, kim. if you do feel free to drop me a message on slack or a pm and i'll edit in a conclusion and archive this. <3

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Kjalarr noted the wistful shape his twin’s smile had become and with a tug of regret his salmon pink tongue drew across his lips. He wanted to say that some day Floki would find someone, someone that made him forget the hole that Wildfire had left in his heart but was unable to conjure the words. There wasn’t any doubt in Kjalarr’s mind, though. “Being a bachelor was a lot easier,” Of course Kjalarr probably wasn’t telling Floki anything that he didn’t already know, although his relationship with Wildfire had been vastly different from Kjalarr’s relationship with Ondine, despite that the viking had come to care for the mother of his children. That didn’t mean life as a single man hadn’t been easier. A lot less stressful too, when he was oblivious to how Maude felt about him, as well and that despite his stance he still felt like he was stuck in the crosshairs of the private war between Maude and Ondine. Perhaps he always would be. “You’re gonna be the coolest uncle.” Kjalarr couldn’t claim that his children wouldn’t know any other uncles since Cypress was their uncle by adoption but he wasn’t speaking of his little brother. He was talking about Floki. “I wonder how many times they’ll get us confused.” Kjalarr murmured with a grin tugging at the corners of his lips, amused by the idea.

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I'll fade us out! <3

For the next little while, the two brothers discussed the details of Kjalarr's impending fatherhood. Floki still couldn't believe that he was going to be an uncle for the second time, but the excitement he felt within was unmatched. Naturally, he had a lot of teasing to do, but Kjalarr had a retort for each witty comment that Floki lobbed at him.

Eventually, and regretfully, the twins parted ways. There were promises to see each other soon -- an a quick reiteration of the plan for Floki to come to Neverwinter Forest in due time. When Floki departed from Kjalarr's presence, his heart was full.