Death didn't only take a toll of.. well the victim, but also on those close to her. Cara would've liked to think she was close to Jinx. She had proven to be a loyal subordinate and a quick learner, the snow queen had even shown her favour for her when she chose her especially to explore what would end up being the pack's heaven. She wished she had said something though. Before Jinx lost her mind entirely and began seeing her as a juicy piece of flesh rather than a relentless folower.
What she would've said exactly? She didn't know. Speeches weren't her forte.Maybe just a thank you , would've sufficed. It was all she could think of when Jinx came to mind. Really if it weren't for her she would've continued to wander, wasting her days as she roamed the lands aimlessly.
She had given her something to strive for. Even if the vanity nourished her envy and fueled her bad temper at least it had given her something to aspire. She would not forget that either.
Now as she sumerged her toes into the water, she closed her eyes, reading herself for a clensing bath that would wash away all of the unseasiness that had formed in the pit of her stomach. As the water began to caress her chest and stomach she pointed her chin at the sky.
"Thank you", she whispered at last, feeling as her words faded into the clouds above her.
It was only then that he realized how seemingly thick the shroud of sorrow hung over them. The very existence of it was enough to make him feel ill, but he carried on. Perhaps he too needed to get away, furthering and fostering the urge to deal with the tumultuous events in indescribable ways. As it stood, he felt the unbridled anger and sadness from those woods boil within him, and a fair part of it was his own. He was angered of Jinx's demise, that they had been invaded. But he too ached over the loss of her, as she had also offered him a home with little regard for his past and present. She had taken a gamble on him, and he hoped he had not failed her.
When Mordecai had come upon Cara at last, he watched her from afar at first. Chest deep in the open waters, she could have been praying. She could have been crying. Or she could have just been standing there; he did not decide what it was that she was doing. Like a shadowy cretin, he came closer though, muffling his steps as not to disturb her. It was only when she had lifted her head skyward that he made himself known; a low whine to punctuate the loss they both felt.
![[Image: warrior_master.gif]](http://wolf-rpg.com/images/trades/warrior_master.gif)
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For a second she could've sworn the clouds answered. A rumble that could only be product of her imagination shook her bones causing her eyes to narrow into tiny slights of yellow that stared into the dancing forms of the clouds above. One went above the others, its fluffy contour shifting into a shape she knew very well.
It was Jinx's face.
Staring right at her from the highest point of the heavens, the place where her eyes should've been were ilumitaned by the sun. And even if she knew it was just an illusion, the sight of her queen eased the burden that laid in her heart. She smiled brightly at the cloud and watched it open its maw to do the same.
But instead of a smile, the phantom gave a mournful whine and disappeared into thin air. Cara whipped her head to meet Mordecai, as real as it had felt she knew the lament hadn't come from her made up cloud queen. "Mordecai", she said simply, her enerdy transforming the frown that had laid upon her face into a smile. While she might've felt jealous in the past, today she saw the male as nothing but an ally. That assuming he'd stay, though in the naive mind of the young queen she was convinced every member would stay.
She whipped around, and for a moment Mordecai braced himself for reprimands that did not come. Instead her features softened, the sorrow on her face replaced with a warm smile that he had never encountered in her presence. Tentatively, he stepped into the cool waters of the lake to join her. His muzzle reached to nudge her flank as he drew close, and he wavered neutrally, neither submitting nor raising challenge. Though he was curious as to what had drawn her away from Ouroboros in its time of need, the words did not come readily. If they would come at all.
“We should go back,” he urged her quietly. He understood the need to mourn, but there were other things at stake. In his eyes there was a distinct time and place for it, and though his own heart ached for the loss and losses to be, he had stowed it away. With the present threat of the interlopers in their midst, he worried for those that would defect, though the future for all of them was largely unwritten. Any one of them could have, present company included.
The image of the cloud portrait was stored in the back of her mind. When she had frist steppped into the cold waters of the lake she had carried her burdens and troubles, but now she stood complety naked of any fears or preocupations. Every single strain had been dissolved in the lake'swater, sinked to the bottom with no chance of return.
Now that there were no more demons in her head to crucify, her eyes held a certain light in them, that recieved him warmly as he also crept into the water. She was also worried about the upsurpers, not even the holiest water could wash that stain from her heart.
When he spoke her face turned gently to him, while her ears stood also facing in his direction."Give me a last minute", she breathed while she swilred her tail underneath the surface.
She turned to face him, and this time he found no ire or distaste in the depths of her eyes. In fact, she seemed quite happy to see him. But the relief was partially lost on Mordecai, who was feeling more of the mixed emotions broiling within him. As much as he had traveled and as many places he had found himself willingly apart of (no matter how minor), Ouroboros was the most profound of them. It pulled at him strongly, and pulled him in directions he found himself uncomfortable with. For a long time, he had not really put roots down. He put stock into things, worked hard, but had never sunk those proverbial roots into much of anything. Sedona had been his one and only, but Sedona had been his home. His birthplace. He knew he could go see it again some day, but it too had ceased to be his home.
His thoughts disgressed from their own monologue as she insisted on staying a moment more. To that the tawny Ostrega merely nodded his head; he would not deny her what she wanted to do. She outranked him now. Lecter had seen something in her that Mordecai had not, but only because the repertoire between them was lacking. But he would see it through either way, partially out of curiosity, and partially because he kept his word. He would support Lecter's decision. Even so, there was little harm in staying a moment longer. If this was how she intended to make her peace, or what she believed — if she believed, then so be it.
Tiny droplets of silver slid from her coat, weaving their way through the wet hairs on her flanks and falling directly into the lake once more. She parted her lips and expelled cold air out of her lungs in the form of a dreadful sigh, she didn't like showing others her emotions but the feeling of defeat itched under her skin and demanded to be felt.
The toxins the collapse of her reign had left in her system slowly evaporated from her body --at least a good part of them-- while her injuries still stung and her sides ached, her head felt lighter after her little ritual had been completed. Slowly she clawled out of the water, pressing her nose lightly into the man's shoulder as she passed him by. Once out of the water she allowed the water to drip into the soil beneath her feet and then when most of the water had been drained from her coat on its own she shook herself and sent water all around.
"stay or go" she barked into the emptyness, not even facing in his direction as she spoke.
He followed after her quietly as they departed the grasp of the waters, and his eyes scanned the terrain indifferently. Mordecai could not recall if he had happened by the edges of the lake, but supposed it didn't matter. Being apart of Ouroboros in its recent days had dampened his ability to venture, but that was often the sacrifice that loyalty demanded. To venture out and explore the edges of the valley was tempting, but it was time consuming. He had known that in a pack, time was all that they had. As it were, things had been in tumult for a while now, from Jinx's ailing, to her death, and the following pieces therein. Now they had a usurper standing at the helm, though he did not understand why there wasn't more upheavals to be found.
He found indifference there too, surprisingly, and for reasons he did not understand.
As Cara barked into the void beyond them, he turned an ear back with confusion. Was she suggesting that to him? Or was it her own musing, echoing into the depths of the paths they had taken to that very moment? Again he was wordless, though his mouth opened for a moment to speak. Mordecai closed it and came to her side, curiously gauging the tattered state of her body, and her own stability. Frailty was not in his repertoire. He was discovering that comfort was also an underdeveloped skill. Passively, he shook himself and wrung the clinging water free, and moved on down the trail, only glancing back to see if she would follow. Stay or go. Perhaps she would take leave of the Spine to commandeer a place of her own, just as Jinx had, or so he had been told.
Since the fight, she had not voiced once her plans for the future. The ursurper hadn't order her exile so she was free to stay --but she was also free to go. She had though about it a lot, but had not spoke of it; not even to Kaname, who she had asked to stay with her after the fall out. Mordecai was really the first other member of the Spine she had seen since.
He shook his pelt also, and walked next to her after the dilema in her head had found wings to fly out her mouth. He didn't make any mention of her mindless murmuring but his mere presence and calm demeanor made her feel like she could speak to him openly.
"Should I?", she asked this time raising her chin to gaze directly into his eyes. The fact that she had been beaten didn't make her act like she had lost her authority.
"I don't know, he said at last. And that was the truth of it. He didn't know. He couldn't have said that he knew what would come of anything. "What do you think you should do?" His earnest question focused that spotlight on her then, and he waas more than curious what was bubbling in her head, and the contents of her heart.
He responded like she thought he would; shooting another question her way instead of giving an answer. Though her question hadn't been exactly the easiest to answer --she had not been able to solve that puzzle herself! She pursed her lips and blinked at him a couple of times, if there was a way to get into the haywire head of hers she might've fished out the answer by now.
"I don't want to submit to her, its repulsing to have to bow my head to her", she mused, half-talking to herself. Then her eyes darted back to his face where they settled for a long minute. Call it hysteria, she was just having a weird philosophical episode to cope with the imminent decision that prodded at her side.
"But I can't leave the Spine behind." she barked more sternly, remembering the day Jinx had called her to explore the little isle at the center of the Spine.
And that was where he did not know where it was that he lied.
Shifting his weight, Mordecai studied her anguished gaze. He wanted to say something more meaningful, something to ease the young leader's struggle. But truthfully he had no words for it. Like her, this event was uncharted territory. He had never had the firsthand experience of a usurper in any midst.
To be or not to be? That is the question.
Though her dilema wasn't as poetical, it certainly was pretty tragic --or at least that's how it felt to the pale yearling, whose head seemed to swell everytime the topic of staying or going crossed her mind. It wasn't as he had shoved the question down her throat at any moment but now she felt like she needed to answer it once and for all.
Then don't, he barked casually as if she were simply asking if she should take another serving of deer or not. His answer was short and concise--yet it was extremely vague and open to interpretation. Don't bow your her to her? Or don't leave the Spine behind.
She blinked at him with a deadpan expression, while she tasted his words once more in her mind. Don't what? She questioned herself as she weighted the choices laid out before her. Was there a way to don't do either?, she wished while closing her eyelids for a second.
Yes!, a voice hissed abruptly in the back of her head, she opened her eyes brusquely and pierced his pupils with her gaze. A faint beginning of a smile poised itself at her lips as she began sorting out thoughts and ideas in her head.
"Then I won't", she barked with a renewed force echoing her words.
Her decision was seemingly the one that he had chose to follow. With no encounter to base his overall opinion on, he didn't know what to think of the usuper in their midst. He wasn't pleased with her arrival, no, nor what she had done. But he had not come to the conclusion that leaving was in his best interests. While any conceived notion of debt was repaid with Jinx's demise, he could have decided he had no reason to stay. But his loyalty had extended further than that in time. He inferred the same of her as well.
With a nod at her words, he turned back towards the road home. “Let's go,” he prompted.
ps. Mordecai is the best therapist ever :o
Her lips twisted into a soft yet strong smile, and her pale eyes glimmered with a renewed light inside of them. Maybe it had been the lake's water or the man's words(that hadn't been many), but whatever it was it had ignited the fire on the female's heart. Now the world didn't look so grim, there was a faint lantern that shined dimly in the background. It was small but it was there.
Without a further word or sound, the frost girl stepped forth and began walking along side the male, draped by a silence that wasn't in any way awkward or nerve wrecking.
Maybe he had set the wheels in motion for her, but they were very much still stuck in the mud for him. He knew he would have to seek out this usurper for himself, and would let nature take its course. What would be would be, and what would come remained a mystery.