The Desire that Grows, The Love that Slows

@Sun Spark

Hawkeye made her last journey up the slope of the plateau. A small smile came as a bittersweet feeling filled her. She recalled the trek and the excited Pied talking about conquering what once was her counsin's territory. The enemy of Hawkeye that she never really got revenge upon other than taking over the deserted lands of the prior Alpha.

The midnight wolf walked along slowly, feeling as if her body was heavy. She felt a force pulling her in, but the desire to stay was gone. It was not her home anymore, just as Blackfoot Forest was not her home, either.

As she continued forth putting of calling for anyone, the girl wondered if her homes would always come and go. She could have stayed with her pack for her entire life, yet she had wanted to see the world. Hawkeye wondered what would have happened if she had stayed behind. There were a few males who were her age and would have liked to be the Alpha's daughter so they could be the Alpha one day.

A sigh escaped her mouth. All of the "what if's" were making her feel exhausted. So much had happened in one day. She just wanted to get things over with so she could go to her new home.

Sun Spark worked and walked his old limbs shaky and his every step he measured. But he was still moving around, still alive. That was more than he could say for most wolves his age. As he walked the stiffness sort of worked it's way out of his limbs, but not 100 percent yet. He shuffled along and he noticed another wolf coming towards him. She was black like his daughter, but she was not his daughter he could tell by the way she carried herself. His Blue she carried herself with grace, whereas this wolf here she carried herself with a purpose.

Her step was heavy as if something weighed on her and her face was sad, yet open and he studied her from afar before he chuffed at her quietly. He walked a little closer and spoke softly once he got near enough to her W'at's a Mattah Chile? I'm Sun Spark by da way.

The girl raised her head, realizing she must have really been gone from the world in her head if she hadn't seen a wolf directly in front of her. "Sun Spark!" She exclaimed. The girl thought she probably sounded crazy, so she explained herself. "Blue Willow told me about you." She paused. "None of it bad," she added with a smile.

"Oh! I'm Hawkeye by the way. Maybe I should have started with that instead," mumbling the last sentence to herself, the dark female moved closer to the wolf that her pack would call a sage. Also known as a wise old wolf.

Sun Spark chuckled at the girls enthusiastic greeting, clearly she had not seen him. Hello dere m’girl. Ah she did, well my blue she doesn’t say nothin’ bad ‘bout nobody. She’s jest made dat way.. He didn’t think she sounded crazy, just startled.

Sun Spark dipped his grizzled head Well met Hawkeye, now tell me m’girl, w’at has you so green in da gills dere? Whats wrong and can ole Sun help ye wif it? He grew quiet then, anxious to help if he could, he wanted to pay this pack back a little bit before he died, both for himself and his daughter. Though blue could do her own paying he wanted to do a little too.

Even if she felt a bit off, a smile crossed Hawkeye's face and stayed there. Tears nearly welled up in her eyes. She was grateful that she ran into Sun Spark, not only because Blue Willow had told her she should meet him, but also because he made her feel okay about everything.

"Well...," she started, giving a heavy sigh after a moment. "I am about to tell my children that I am leaving the plateau. I... can't stand things here anymore. I will never be happy here again, even if this place was the only thing to do so before." Hawkeye stopped, not knowing what else to say. Instead, she waited to hear the old male's response.

Sun Spark saw her eyes look all shiny like she was going to cry and he spoke softly Oh now 'ush chile 'ush. It will be okay in da end, it always is. He moved forward to run a muzzle across her brow like he would with his own daughter, but stopped unsure if she would be okay with that.

Oh chile dat dere is 'arsh, but you gotta do what you gotta do da keep you'self 'ealthy. Ain't nothin' worse dan un'appiness an' dat's da truth.. He would not judge her, sometimes even at the expense of making others unhappy you had to do what you needed to for yourself. You were no good to anyone unhealthy or sad, and you were usually unpleasant to be around anyway.

She didn't realize she had stopped breathing until Sun Spark said that it's always okay in the end. Taking a shaky breath in, she squeezed her eyes shut tightly and tried to steady her emotions.

Looking up at Blue Willow's father, she spoke. "I feel like I am abandoning them. But... things have changed so much in the past couple of months. My entire life has been completely flipped upside down, and I feel like the only thing to do is leave." Her pastel eyes shifted down. "Why do I feel so horrible about it if it's the right thing to do...?" Her voice was quiet now, and came as a question to herself even if Sun Spark could hear it.

Sun Spark watched as she clearly struggled with her emotions. He just stood nearby, wanting to comfort her, but not knowing how. If it had been blue or Spring he could have just licked them or gave the ma wolfish hug, but it was not them so he was lost.

Sun chuckled darkly, but spoke softly Lissen Chile, you know it's right, because right is neva easy. he shrugged large shoulders and shook his grizzled head. I'm afraid dat fir some reason or 'nother da gods saw fit ta make all da good t'ings 'ard. It was the way of the world, usually the right thing was hard. If you were good enough it came easy, but usually it didn't.

ooc: the way he talks makes me giggle cuz I can hear it in my head

Hawkeye felt defeated. "I suppose I have figured out that life isn't ever easy." When she looked back to her home pack, things seemed so much better; but, with the incident with her brother, the other families overcrowding the camp area, and mothers (and cousins and grandparents) trying to push their son and her together because Hawkeye was the last female Raptor... things probably weren't as great as she'd thought. At least they were supportive, though. At least they would never tire of her, even when she was at her worst. She couldn't say that about anyone here.

"I wish I could just take you with me wherever you go." Her green eyes looked up at Sun Spark. "You make me feel a lot better." She almost added in a joke about him being younger so they could be mates, but Hawkeye felt like it would have made her seem like kind of an asshole.

Yea i kinda want a blue baby to talk like this *if she ever has any* but i don't know if it would be possible since he wouldn't be around for it to learn from :(

Sun Spark smiled then and said softly No chile it innit easy, but da 'appy momen's dey are worth et. Dey really are. Sun had known a pack once upon a time, and it had been rough. He had left soon as he found out what love really was and he went on his own way. Sometimes he missed those he had left behind, but mostly he did not.

Sun SPark chuckled Who says you can't chile? Just t'ink ta yirself. W'at would Sun Spark da. He gave her a winning smile, endearing and grandfatherly.