Ouroboros Spine I've Got A Feeling Now, My Heart Is Frozen

@Cara Redemption FTW!

Gaiban was laying in his den, when something spoke to him. He needed to carry his weight in the spine, become proficient. Gaiban let out a little squeak of a howl, calling for his alpha. He was going to fix it. He had apologized, but what did his apologies even cost?

Gaiban sat down under the clouds, waiting for his momm- his alpha. The white furred iota stopped. He barely knew the wolf. Why was he already calling her mommy? He suddenly felt weak for feeling any emotion whatsoever. He was soft. A little leech of affection. But he wanted to feel like he was something more than a distant cousin, somebody completely different from the rest of the pack.

[size=medium]"in the land of gods and monsters,
I was an angel"[/size]

[size=small]Despite the severity of the young Iota's fault, no mention of his error had been given to the Beta, or to anyone else really. This was a situation she wanted to take care of single handedly; one that she felt like as being personal, she had to handle alone. During the next couple of days that followed the youngling's faux pas, Cara kept herself closer to the borders in case the infamous bitch should show her face again. As she did so, she also made quite a point to reinforce the strong markers that lined the borders.
Often she found herself squatting angrily over her borders, writing hateful urine-messages to any that should come near -- especially Mara and her wolves.

But this was just half of the measures she had to implement after the recent fall out. As promised, both to herself and to him, the Queen had set a close watchful eye on the youngling. With the same fervor with which she tended the border she kept herself close to the small den where the boy had settled. So far, she had not seen many activity from the male.
Something she could yet not decide whether it was both good or bad.

While she was glad he was not again lingering in the borders risking another encounter with the deceptive female, she was also bothered by his lack of producivity. The Spine was not a shelter for the lost souls; and if he didn't get himself to prove his use soon, Cara would have to personally make sure he lost his soul. But on the other hand, didn't she want to preserve it too?
This was the recurring conflict she often waged with behind the curtains of her brain.

But, there are no free rides here, was what she told herself as a small voice in her mind reminded her of how Jinx had also given her a shot when no one else had. But, would there be if the child was your own? she questioned to herself, her mind bringing subconciously the'child' factor to play.
If it were her own son the one that had an encounter with Mara would she disown him?
Was that the kind of mother she'd become?

With a brusque pull of her head she shook the thoughs --good and bad-- away from her head. She had no children yet; no biological or adoptive.
But the subject couldn't be dropped so easily.
The sound of her name was carried in the wind, reaching her promptly and making her twist her ears forward. It was him.
Immediately, with a semi-automatic motion of her paws she began to trot towards the place where he awaited, sitting under the sky of messy clouds with an expression almost as conflicted as the grey blurs of grey above.

"Gaiban" she offered simply as she closed in on him, her eyes scanning his face in an attempt to read him.
He was troubled, she could see that, but the reason why was lost on her.
His lack of affection was written in smal print she could not identify at first glance.
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Gaiban was suddenly brought back to the point where Mara was telling him the story. He knew a lot more now, but he didn't know quite why. He knew Mara was bad, but he had no evidence to back it up.
"Uh, well." Gaiban stuttered out, beginning his request.
"I wanted to know what I can do to help carry my weight. I want- a quest." Gaiban's need for acceptance, and redemption was evident. (P.P Here, can be edited out, if you want.)
He couldn't even go anywhere near the borders unsupervised. He had to be supervised before, but know, there was no kindness. He wasn't learning anymore. all interactions with packmates were stiff, and awkward.

It never truly dawned on Gaiban that everybody he came in contact with recoiled in disgust. It was almost driving him to tears. But tears were for babies, and Gaiban was big now.

The white-furred teen looked into the eyes of his alpha. He knew, that if he ever wanted to know love again, he would have to work for it.

carried away :o no need to match the length <3

[size=medium]"in the land of gods and monsters,
I was an angel"[/size]

[size=small]In the silence, the pale Queen's ears pricked attentively, waiting for it to be him to speak first. Hopefully, it would not be Mara what they were here to discuss, after their little impromtu meet & greet, Cara would've thought that the subject had been aready buried. Though, if asked she knew she would not, and could not turn down his questions. Because while Cara was not one to believe in blind faith, and still hypocritically expected the boy to take her word on the gravity of the crimes Mara had comitted, she also expected for all of his doubts to be killed.
With reason preferably.

If it was the narration of her multiples flaws and attrocities what would take to convince the young boy; then so be it.
With her eyes hardening slightly and her shoulders rolling to shake off the powdery snow that falled onto the nape of her neck. She was ready to spill her enemy's deepest secrets, to confide in Gaiban the very reason that hid underneath her rage, but surprisingly as he mumbled he made clear that Mara was not the topic he wanted to adress -- at least not first.

Quickly, she had to swallow the boiling insults climbing through her trachea and keep down any trace of anger for her face. It was not hard though, not as her scruntinizing eyes percieved the underlying sincerity laced in his voice."A Quest" she echoed, her mind digging through the files of her brain in order to come up with something suitable, yet beneficial for him to take charge of alone.
Send him on a diplomatic mission to another pack's borders to deliver a message?
No. There wasn't a message to be sent, and after the inclination he had exhibited towards strangers, she wasn't too sure if he should be sent out -- not yet.

Then, the lightbulb that hovered imaginarilly above her head lit up. He, not being a child, yet not being quite an adult either was perfect for the task she had in mind.
Besides, as he sought redemption, he also had to seek out her trust;and really, what better way to earn it by showing her he was not only useful now, but in the future.?
In the future, when the pack was blessed with her future kids.

Being foreign to the perceptions he had of his own packmates' treatment towards him (which was odd considering the incident had not been mentioned to another soul) she thought inmediately of the other wolves in her ranks that could be too given mention of this Quest.
"Making sure that in the upcoming season, when my children will hopefully be born, there are no unwelcomed predators lingering around for our food, will be your task. " she declared, thinking that the responsability would serve him well and his help would earn her a rest from all her hectic patrolling.

"Anything, no matter the species," she began to explain, hoping he'd learnt his lesson on why the Spine wolves didn't play the hospitality role, "If they're taking food from our caches they're taking food from our mouths" she went on, her tone serious yet amiable, "Pay special attention to felines, and bears" she warned
The place wasn't named Greatbear Wilderness just because..
And she didn't want him to get mauled because of her..

"Understood?" she asked at last, falling silent for a second to let the information sink in and a decision to be made.
[/size]

I'mma try matching your post length. I need the practice anyway. Edit; I wasn't even close..

Gaiban saw in the wolves eyes that she had given him a big responsibility. He wasn't ready though, but he could change that. He would come into contact with all wolves he could, consult anyone he could. He suddenly lingered with the thought of entering an apprenticeship with Kaname, but he needed variety in his training.. And besides, The dark furred male would get tired of him pestering the wolf eventually.

Gaiban was also very happy Cara had trusted him to take this on. He suddenly wondered if other wolves were competing with him. He realized he was playing with the big boys now. The mention of bears made Gaiban shiver. Physically, he was a weakling. But tactically, and mentally, he was a power to behold. He just needed to show his stuff.

Gaiban decided to ask his alpha another question, because now that tempers had calmed, he could get the straight poop on this. Gaiban needed to word this right, if he insulted the alpha in any way, he risked his place in the pack. And he was already dancing on hot coals.

"Uh, I have another question." Gaiban started. He needed to word this right. one slip up in wording, and he risked his position in the pack. And he was already risking a lot.
"Why do you hate Mara so much?" He ended his question with a bow of his head. respectful, Just how Cara liked it. He learned that the hard way.

its ok i get carried away :x

[size=medium]"in the land of gods and monsters,
I was an angel"[/size]

[size=small] Once her desires and expectations had been voiced she held her tongue, waiting for the boy to make any comments and questions about his newly recieved mission. Even if it was true that the Queen's ire had faded into the back of her mind it was also very likely that with the smallest, slightest, provokation it would be again set aflame.
In these moments, her tolerance, with about anything and everything was running thin.

With a small flare of leathery nostrils and a quick twist of her ears she tried to read his thoughts since until now, he seemed reluctant to share them. Like him, her mind also trailed over to the dark coated Beta as she realized the prior training he would need to recieve in case he encountered one of the pesky predators she warned him about, or in the future, tresspassers.
Quickly she made a mental note of mentioning the given task to her mate, which she was certain he would approve of. Even if it all implicated he'd have to give up some of his time to take Gaiban under his wing she was sure he'd be unable to refuse to take advantage of the opportunity.
He had wanted to train one of their pups to be a killer -- he could train the youngling first.
Because despite the lack of her blood in the teen's veins, he was still hers.
He felt like so.

After a short lapse of silence he finally spoke, his mouth carrying a question Cara had seen as inevitable, but not very pleasant. Inmediately, her face hardened, her eyes narrowing slightly as she cleared her throat. "She tried to break the code" she barked with angst -- that was not directed at him but at the idea of the female herself. "She was in a lower tier than me, yet she one day challenged me as if we were equals." she barked, her words full of conviction and self-pride.
"Then, after I made her submit she continued to trash-talk me and threaten me -- demanding that I act in accordance to my rank even after it was her who proved to be an insubordinate cunt" she barked, the fire in her voice rising slightly as the filter in her mouth broke loose, letting all bottled porfanities rise to the surface again.

"She's a hypocrite" she declared, with a huff, her eyes seeking Gaiban's as she resumed her explanation, "She disrespected the pack's hierarchy -- something I believe to be vital for the proper function of the pack's dynamic" she went on, her ears twisting upon her cranium as she spoke, "As Alpha I hold every right to say who stays and goes "it's not a democracy, she added silently, seeking the boy's reaction within his silvery orbs.

"We gave her a last chance to apologize -- a chance to redeem herself" she barked, knowing that the emphasized word had to hold some meaning to the Theta. "But she threw it away and threatened us -- the pack and my yet unborn pups" she ended dryly, her narrowed eyes prompting a response from the boy.

She didn't know what the bitch had told Gaiban during the few minutes before her arrival, and she didn't know how her side of the story would sit in his mind.
Aside from any desire to justify her hatred what she wanted the most was for him to realize how important this trust, this chance, he had been given really was.
It was his salvation.

Now it was up to him to chose to take it or to waste it like Mara.
[/size]

Gaiban got the grenade tossed to him. and he was going to use it, no matter the consequences. He was determined to give his life fighting for the pack. He was now sure of it. Gaiban replied with a nod of the head. A feeling of assurance look spread across his entire being. He was strong. He just needed to become perfect. If he did something wrong, he wanted to get beaten for it. He was going to get trained to be a killing machine, bootcamp style.

He was loved this entire time. Physical circumstance didn't change what people really thought of him. It's hard to be soft on someone, if you see you are turning them useless.

Gaiban knew that was what Mara had almost done to him. A look of disgust crossed his face, and it was unlikely to ever go away fully. If Mara had tried to get him to like her, she had done it wrong.

His ego stopped shrinking right then. His alpha was his ruler. his mentor. His queen. Gaiban knew what he was going to do. He was going on a trip. When he returned, he would never know. But he would be a changed boy. In his time with the spine, he had learned so much, even helped take down a moose. He was not quitting the pack, no.
He was simply going on a trip for a while. And he was going to tell his alpha this. Not in an arrogant I'm leaving cause' I'm not happy way, but in a way that would be as if he was voicing his idea, in a curious way.

"Cara? Sorry I'm bothering you with so many questions, but." He wasn't scared of his alpha no more, but he was worried by his daunting journey ahead.
"I need to train. I might be gone for a while." Gaiban said, the same look of disgust toward Mara not fading yet.

He was going to die for the pack, and he wasn't going down without helping. This was the test to see if he could truly carry his weight. And if Cara refused, he would have to sneak away. His redemption could maybe, just maybe, be repaid in one go.

i <3 gaiban

[size=medium]"in the land of gods and monsters,
I was an angel"[/size]

[size=small]There had been countless times in which her strict, unforgiving nature had passed as a fault, when really, as recently discovered by the teen, it could be perhaps her greatest virtue.
She was not a saint too grant salvation with her touch alone, nor she was a cruel executioned that was out for anyone's and everyone's head. It was only when she was wronged, regardless if it were under universal or more personal circumstances, that she unmasked her rage and sought to harm.
Mara, just to list one of the many that held a place on the Queen's infamous list, had wronged her not only physically as she attempted to draw blood, but also morally as she threatened her unborn offspring and then attempted to turn one of her own against her with blasphemous lies.
And for that, she deserved nothing less than death.

With her eyes narrowing curiously as the boy's facial expression twisted and morphed into one of anger, she held back any other word. Unless he had more to ask, or something he wanted further clarification in, she would not speak -- not of Mara at least. The mere fact of speaking of her left her mouth sour, and to be honest, she was fed up with it, with her.
And little did she know that Gaiban, after the whole fallout that followed their meeting, might be too.

"It does not bother me -- you should've known before.Kaname and I should have warned you and all of the pack of that traitorous bitch" she barked with a toneless voice, her mind to busy making a mental note of telling the others to give her the chance to focus on what might've lied beneath Gaiban's next words.
As he tried to excuse himself, never did Cara even suspect what he was really referring to; yet his pressing urge to begin his training straight away roused some curiosity in her.
Of course, she was delighted to hear this from him, but she could not help but wander, what it was exactly that he wanted to train towards.
It was especially the word 'gone' that caused unrest and curiosity in her head.

"Gone from the Spine?" she barked, her brows slowly arching as she tried to find reason to this. Did he mean he was going to be 'gone' from the pack activities as he focused solely on his training, or did he refer to a physical departure from the lands?

"With Sitri and Kaname?" she then asked, innocently wondering if he had also thought of the two strong males to serve as tutors.
[/size]

Dang,.. I just got back from my hospital break.. CURSE YOU PNUEMONIA!

Gaiban was determined to make it up to Cara, to make all her angst and pain go away. He was going to kill Mara, he was sure of it. Gaiban then mouthed the words, then repeated them louder, and louder, until it was a scream of fury.
"Mara, I swear I'm coming for you! I swear on the spine, I will find you!" Gaiban's voice deepened a bit, and Gaiban was surprised how menacing his scream of rage had really sounded. The Snowy teen looked into Cara's eyes, his lack of confidence somewhere else. He really meant it.
"I mean it, Cara. I'm going to find Mara, and kill her, dead! Then I'll be loved!" Gaiban then turned his head, and walked back a bit. Then he answered her questions, dead on.
"I'll be gone from the spine, until I find Mara, and Make her go away, far away, or kill her. Until i do, I'm not coming back. I'll bring her skull to you." He nodded his head, and waited for a reaction.
"I swear."

omggg i hope your feeling better *sends love*

[size=small]Under the cold gaze of the Queen, the young male roared his hatred, a promise of vengeance, into the sky. His voice, no longer carrying the innocence of a child, made the pale Queen's ears turn in surprise. Had his mistake, and her unforgiving heart birthed his devotion? Or had these feeling of hatred towards the lying whore that was Mara, bloomed on their own after the revelation of the atrocities she had done towards the Spine, and particularly its Queen? 
Truly,it didn't even matter.
Finally, and again, one of her wolves had been stripped off the blinding curtain Mara's feigned friendliness placed upon their eyes .

While Cara never sought to force her hatred towards the bitch onto her subordinates (or not conciously at least), she did expect each and every one of them to stand by her when, and if, the time of a battle ever came. But now that both her good friend, Alusia, and now Gaiban had had the truth of the bitch's intentions dawn on them, the fierceness with which they would fight became not only greater, but also more pure

The Queen listened in silence to the proclamations of the boy, her slim ears suddenly swinging forward as he gave the reasoning that it would be Mara's death what would win him love and appreciation. "You don't need to kill to be loved" , she interjected, her eyes suddenly softening and her mind wondering if that was the mentality that awaited her children in case she decided to give Kaname free reign to teach them his murderous ways.

"You need to prove yourself to me Gaiban, but not by leaving like that.", she began, trying to keep her tone stale of any particular emotion. While her heart mind screamed that she let him go and rip her enemy apart for her, her heart, her soon to be maternal-heart, pleaded for her not to send the child into an early grave."The fact you'd kill for me honors me, Gaiban. Your devotion is pure", she went on, her nose lightly dipping to show him, for the fist time since his slip up, genuine appreciation.

"But as your Alpha, I cannot let you go. Not alone."she urged, her eyes blinking solemnly as she tried to reason with him -- something she wished someone would have done for her before she threw herself down the abyss of stupidity that had marked her early months of her adolescence and early adulthood.

"Earn your title as Warrior and prepare yourself, then, I won't stop you" she ended, her tail swishing behind her to mark the ending of her speech and her ears pricking to catch any words he might have for her next.
Hopefully, the words she had said had had not gone in one ear and out the other.
Hopefully, Gaiban wouldn't fall victim to the same teenage idiocy she had.
[/size]

Gaiban's eyes lit up, when Cara dipped her head. Other wolves might not see it, but Gaiban did. Gaiban was filled with the fire, the burning passion of a need. That was all Gaiban needed. Give him something to do, and he went on and did it. The white furred boy took a mental note of his tasks.
Protect the caches and Cara's babies, kill off all bears and cats, become a warrior, kill Mara.
seemed simple enough. With time, granted, but he could do it. He would stay, but his cries of rage were not feigned. He was going to find Mara, and kill her. Gaiban wagged his tail, but, unknown by him, his wagging had slowed to an ominous soaring wave, than the cute wiggle he had expressed happiness with before.

"I'm going to go see Kaname." Gaiban said simply. He trusted Kaname the most, and hoped he could do something more for him. Those two had done so much for him. Gave him a home, family, made him stronger, and, biggest of all, taught him the ways of the spine. If one piece of the backbone gets weak, the entire spine collapses. Cara was an odd specimen. She could turn someone completely neutral to an argument, into a weapon, cocked and loaded against the aggressor. Cara wasn't venomous, as she was anti-venomous. Or was she? But that never occurred to Gaiban though. That would never seem humanly possible, even if Cara was the evil queen, in the end, he was just the pawn, so she can advance.Gaiban never wanted to be a part of something, but,.. That was before he landed here.

this will be my last post :3 but we need to have more gaiban x cara luv after i get back ;*

When it came to titles Cara did not hold a preference.
As long as she was Queen, she did not care being the 'good' or the 'evil'.
This was not a fairytale, there was no prince charming and there were no damsels in distress -- and if there were, Cara didn't care for them.
She cared simply for what she loved, for what was hers; and under that category, every and each of the wolves pledged to her, to the Spine, were counted.

And Gaiban, by default, was recipient of some of it -- after his declaration even more so.
So with her eyes refusing to leave the male out of her sight for now, and no more words welling up in respnse to his simple declaration to seek out her mate, Cara allowed a feeble smile to break through the creases of her lips.

He'd do well.
He'd become a great warrior, and a protector of the Spine that she was sure of.
Almost as sure of that in time, he would be loved by something more than a packmate.