Wild Berry Meadow sloe-eyed demon

Pantaleimon was surprised when his companion said that he had a mate and puppies, but other lovers, too. "Oh," he said, sounding a little awkward, but mostly as though he had not expected this. Pan knew little of love — for the Nereides had their own ways of producing pups and he knew from experience it involved little love; other forms of relations Pan had never seen among them — but he always thought that traditional love meant a male and a female came together in mateship and had pups. He didn't know having other lovers was such a common thing.

Pan wasn't really sure if it was that Perry just didn't know how to show his love. The question what he wanted to do came very soon for Pan, who looked startled. "I... don't know. I mean, I — he said he thought it - it'd be better for me to be alone, not because he doesn't love me. I... But what if h-he's just trying to uhm, get rid of me..?" Saying those words hurt, not so much because they might be true but mostly because Pantaleimon felt like a terrible traitor for even thinking them. "He said that it wasn't that... He — that he just wanted me to be happy and - and have pups of my own. I guess I just... sort of thought their pups..." Pan bit his lip, his eyes watery as he tried to hold back his feels. "would be s-sort of mine, too..." Pan didn't understand why they couldn't share, why he couldn't be the pups', well... something. He didn't care if he came second, but he just wanted to be involved in their lives, since he was also so involved in Perry's life.

The question of what he was going to do remained unanswered, lingering on Pan's mind alone. Pantaleimon considered finding Reek, but would his mate even like him? And the thought alone seemed so traitorous, for Pan was loyal to the Caldera and wanted to stay there forever. The thought of looking Perry and Fox and their perfect family seemed too difficult to bear though, so if they were to split up, Pan didn't know if he could stay at the Caldera.