Scarlett trotted out of Phoenix Maple wood. She had realized while being outside of the parklands she lived now she wasn't far of to the place where she all started. The first pack she joined, the pack were she felt home and worked so hard for, Duskfire Glacier. Now she looked back on things everything she touched seemed to turn into something foul. She joined Duskfire, and then she was kicked out for being too soft. Each pup she adopted and tried to care for was gone now. Néa had gone crazy, Adlartok was somewhere else all together. Bearclaw Valley fell into doom and even her mating to Kove ended in a wreckage. Her kids were clearly also not okay with what happened all because she couldn't keep it together. Scarlett just felt horrible and not happy with herself.
She didn't want any of her new pack members to know. She felt like they wouldn't understand. She felt already like pity case, they only took her in because they needed members and she had three young. Reek was only learning her about herbs to make her feel better. It was probably a chore that he put himself to do. Scarlett didn't feel like she was an asset. Her thoughts made everything very dark. She rushed off, further north, until she realized that she knew these lands. She was ridiculously close to Duskfire Glacier. She stopped when her paws reached the the lake in that used to be in the middle of the territory. Lake Meltwater. She remembered. The female looked up at the glacier, she once saw that thing a her shining light of hope. The ice would usually reflect shimmers of light, she wanted to a shining light for others but she only messed thing up, at least that was how she felt now. She wasn't a glacier, she was a black hole that would only bring misery.
A soft sniffle came from her lips. Being a mother was hard, being a mother of a broken family was even harder. Surprisingly, she did feel at home at the Maple Wood pack, but she didn't feel happy. She thought she was happy at Bearclaw but now she realized that she only had a lot of stress there. She thought she would be happy without Kove but she wasn't. The mother looked at her reflection in the icy waters. He red eyes stared back at her, instantly she broke down in tears. She hated how she looked, if she hadn't looked like this she wouldn't have been bullied and her family would have liked her. It was a very naive thought of the small female. Every time she thought she was happy it was soon ruined by something else, maybe there was a curse on her. Her self doubt and insecurity were her downfall once again. She needed a distraction...
She didn't want any of her new pack members to know. She felt like they wouldn't understand. She felt already like pity case, they only took her in because they needed members and she had three young. Reek was only learning her about herbs to make her feel better. It was probably a chore that he put himself to do. Scarlett didn't feel like she was an asset. Her thoughts made everything very dark. She rushed off, further north, until she realized that she knew these lands. She was ridiculously close to Duskfire Glacier. She stopped when her paws reached the the lake in that used to be in the middle of the territory. Lake Meltwater. She remembered. The female looked up at the glacier, she once saw that thing a her shining light of hope. The ice would usually reflect shimmers of light, she wanted to a shining light for others but she only messed thing up, at least that was how she felt now. She wasn't a glacier, she was a black hole that would only bring misery.
A soft sniffle came from her lips. Being a mother was hard, being a mother of a broken family was even harder. Surprisingly, she did feel at home at the Maple Wood pack, but she didn't feel happy. She thought she was happy at Bearclaw but now she realized that she only had a lot of stress there. She thought she would be happy without Kove but she wasn't. The mother looked at her reflection in the icy waters. He red eyes stared back at her, instantly she broke down in tears. She hated how she looked, if she hadn't looked like this she wouldn't have been bullied and her family would have liked her. It was a very naive thought of the small female. Every time she thought she was happy it was soon ruined by something else, maybe there was a curse on her. Her self doubt and insecurity were her downfall once again. She needed a distraction...
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Messages In This Thread
I feel like a monster - by Scarlett - November 17, 2015, 02:19 PM
RE: I feel like a monster - by Tail - November 17, 2015, 05:42 PM
RE: I feel like a monster - by Scarlett - November 18, 2015, 06:37 AM
RE: I feel like a monster - by Tail - November 18, 2015, 02:14 PM
RE: I feel like a monster - by Scarlett - November 18, 2015, 03:11 PM
RE: I feel like a monster - by Tail - November 19, 2015, 12:16 PM
RE: I feel like a monster - by Scarlett - November 20, 2015, 10:50 AM