Lost Creek Hollow i know what i was feeling, but what was i thinking

The touch of Mordecai came as a shock, and Ilya felt herself flinch as his muzzle grazed her. She tensed, but allowed herself to relax when she saw it was only him. She gave a weak smile, dipping her head in an appreciative and apologetic way. It was not like her to be so jumpy, but her mind was so jumbled and she felt like her world was somehow crumbling. Luke was not as close to her as he was to Mordecai and Harlyn, but he was the first wolf here to really spend time with her outside of pack duties, and for this she felt a strange connection with him. Her heart sank. The pack was by no means weak, but the thought of the large cat claiming the prides of two wolves from the Hollow... it definitely was not reassuring. 

And then Luke collapsed. She almost lunged for him, her feet moving forward. The only thing stopping her was the commands of her alpha's, and she lowered herself with wide eyes. Ilya waited, quite impatiently, to be told to do something. Leave, help, call for help, run in circles, roll in the snow, literally anything. She knew there was much to be done but for now she was told to stay out of the way. Stay out of the way she would, but slowly the shock was replacing itself with fear and anxiety, and she couldn't help but look to Mordecai with a wide pair of exasperated eyes.