Broken Antler Fen Running Never Helps

Just so this isnt like majorly long, I'm gonna have her tell the rest of the story in my next post, after Pearl's xD

Pearls words seemed to help, if only a bit, to help her shake the fog clouding her thoughts. Talk... Talk about what? About how she was raped, given puppies she wasnt ready for? That she'd KILLED all but one? The thoughts alone were enough to gloss her eyes, a whimper strangling itself from her throat as hard as she tried holding it back. She didnt want to talk, not about this. But Pearl was a counselor, so she said. She could handle this, give her good advice.... Right? With a deep sigh and a quick glance around to make sure they were alone, Ambrosia rose to her paws and slunk closer to Pearl; giving her a look that clearly tried saying she wasn't a threat. She didn't want her packmate thinking she would REALLY hurt her for no reason like that. She settled on the shore of the lake, dipping her front paws in to feel the cool water, before starting to speak. For now, her voice was calm, confident. As she told to best part of the story, her passion for what live she used to have was clear.
         "I was about ten, eleven months old when my first heat hit, along with the other females of the pack. To me, it was a normal day. I could care less about the odd scent coming from my ass area, and my excitement to do my duties had trumped the uncomfortable urge to do something.... Sex, though it was something I didn't bother to listen to while my mother was trying to tell us about it. My thoughts were on my position in the pack, the lead protector. As soon as I finished my training, it was mine. I was the daughter of the alphas, top of my training classes and highly loved by the entire clan, just like the rest of my litter.... I still probably am, honestly. I have no doubt that if I went back, everyone that remembered me there would welcome me with open arms, even after my abandonment, and what I'd done...."
Her voice became low, shaky, and scared as she started to relive her worst memories. She went on after just a short pause to take a deep breath. This, this was the hard part....
                       "I watched my father, Rox, leave camp.... And, as he did, I followed suit: something I normally would have done, even though my father would never have left me in camp without asking me to tag along. He looked very upset, but I didn't notice. He was going out, and I was GOING to follow, no questions asked. He scolded me, yelled at me to go back. Something was WRONG..... But I kept following. And, as he turned to let me have it, Midnight jumped from the bushes and attacked my father."
She had to take another breath, her voice shaking almost too much to comprehend. She pressed up against Pearls side, though she was smaller the white females mere touch provided her with enough support, mentally, to go on. She hoped she didnt mind.
                                         "Rox screamed and screamed at me to go, but I didn't. I was going to be the lead protector in a few short months, tops. Why would I RUN? I wanted to finally take the chance to prove to him that I was fit for the job.... I might have been, had Midnight not shoved my father towards me. While we were both a knot of fur and limbs, he sat in wait. When we'd separated, he sprung, mounted me a-and...."
Her words choked off, and she shook her head violently as if to try and shake the memories from her head; much as she would if her fur were wet and she wanted to rid herself of the water. She held back a sob, trying to keep going.