Hushed Willows omission of thy mother's love [birth]

she would never know how her hatred would almost cause the non-existence of one of the newly born beings, or she would have held them in longer. yet, she shared her distaste for the creatures curled at her side with herself, glancing down at their tiny forms caused her stomach to roll in a misplaced revulsion. how was she to tell them their very existence was a mistake, a horror of nature; that they, by simply having a heartbeat had caused the crumble of an empire? she would make it known to them, that despite their innocence, they were simply never meant to be. yet perhaps, she did not need to. gingerly, her eyes transitioned from away; back to the the resting forms of them. her eyes darkened, little room for empathy for what she considered doing. dragging the closest away from it's place at her stomach, who happened to be Prialux, laid the child infront of her. it squirmed, blind to the world and blind to the pain it would cause it's mother for it's very existence. amara opened her mouth, hovering it over it's tiny neck with her pale jaws, the points of her teeth just millimeters away from it's pulse. she could do it. it would never have to know, never have to know what it was. she could do it. yet gradually, the longer she hesitated, the more she studied it, the more her heartbeat began to thump in her ears.

it did not take her long to realise that the heartbeat was not her's but the child's; the one she held in a near death grip, prepared to end it's life. 

the air escaped her breast and she snapped her jaw's shut, away from her daughter's exposed neck. how could she? a choked sound formed in her throat and before long, tears dropped silently to the dirt floor. she shoved the pup away, back to it's original place by her side and collapsed her heat once more, thudding against the damp floor of an abandoned fox hole in the farthest corner of a new home, miles from where her life started and fell apart.