Wild Berry Meadow what i have done

His grasp on the beast seemed to be slipping of late. What had happened to Alexander, although deservedly so, Cicero knew he had not intended for it to grow so out of hand. He had not intended to go so far — and yet he had, the beast had. It was the first time that the line between those two was so indistinct, suddenly, as if he awoke with the sudden realisation that everything the beast had done so far, what he remembered and not, had been Cicero all along. But the thoughts were futile, he knew, and so he never lingered long upon them, though the fear of losing himself to the beast grew. What would it do to Damien when it next took charge? It seemed sheer luck that so far nothing terrible had happened to his brother. After all, Cicero knew what he was like. Pain was good, was love, was delightful. He, he understood that it was not like that for all, just for him, but Sheogorath seemed another force altogether.

These thoughts drove him from his home almost as if trying to find someone else to hurt, someone who did not matter, who maybe even deserved it. He wondered about Kendra, and hoped that she was well, as he made his way from the marshy woods and into the fields. He trotted at a leisruely pace, glad to be out and about despite what bothered him so. He was still thin, scrawny at best, since the famine had grabbed hold of him, giving him a spooky appearance with his sunken eyes, jutted cheekbones and ribs sticking out.

The berry fields were barren because of winter's approach, but somehow it was still good to be among them and imagine warmer times. Cicero wondered idly if he would survive the winter. Not that he pitied himself or would regret death. He had been on its doorstep and he knew that there was a day all of them would die. Should it come, he would make peace with what he had done. It was only curiosity that drew forth the question. With the sun slowly starting to cant towards the horizon, Cicero shuffled around in the underbrush of the fields, trying to see if he could find some poisonous herbs before winter would reclaim them all.