Redhawk Caldera Don't deserve it - Don't deserve you

Weird, random update of how Trick is treating his nightmares XD Anyone welcome to join!

Bathing in sweat he awoke, terrified as his green eyes scanned his den. Of course, there was nothing there. But his nightmare had felt so real - so full of emotion. He cast all the thoughts of it out of his head, for the most part, hoping - praying they would not return to him. He knew it was false hope, but he had little else to focus on. He had not been slacking all this time tho - he had filled the caches and had dried herbs here and there for the winter. It was all he could do for what he called his family, even though they would never accept him as a true member of it. Perhaps it was time to go. Go far away and never return - not even for the female who had been the only one to ask if he wanted to talk about his problems. But he did not deserve to be pitied, not even kindness. Not like this.

His coat was messy, twisted and dangerous but he decided it went well with his sleep deprived look. Just some weeks ago he had been terrified that the sticky apple pieces would never get out of his coat, and now he was walking around like this. He felt terrible, looked terrible (except the structure of his face and his handsomeness in general) and he wanted to do something terrible. He crawled out of den and padded his way to an area he knew he would find poisons. 

When he finally spotted the one he had not used in such a long time, he sat down near it - Jimson Weed. He blinked, not sure if doing this was such a good idea. Why the plant had not been removed by the other plant crazy wolves here, he had no idea, he was only tempted to eat it. He bit his lip, but quickly got up, letting the plant be. He had a better idea. He needed some Ragwort, desperately.